Saintmary:


You're funny.

Majority of divorce cases, both statutory or customary in Southwest Nigeria end with the woman maintaining the custody of the kids, especially when they're still minors.

How many single dads do you see around as compared to single moms?

I'm still laughing at your ignorance.

Under native laws and customs the father owns YES OWNS both the wife and the kids. In case of divorce a minor is the only ones left in care of the mother till the child is matured
The advent of the infiltrationof the western culture has diluted the laws significantly, but even at that the father is still regarded as the sole owner.


African tradition as regards marriage is almost uniform, same tradition even from biblical days. The English laws are what constitutes a deviation from the biblical days. Little wonder feminism is viewed widely as an offshoot of that undesirable deviation from our time tested practice

Biglittlelois:



Same with polygamy.

…which you’re against.

BTW, I’m on the fence on this matter, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

Kajaard:


Lol

Mad people everywhere

we follow join

Biglittlelois:
Where is it explicitly stated that all traditional marriages is automatic polygamy or adultery approved? Show us proof, link pls, don't just spew your own opinion as fact.

She is right. British constitution isn't written down in a single document but the laws are obeyed. Traditionally speaking and custom wise, you won't get the proof you seek but those customs are true even though they aren't documented

How old are you?.

Even if you are a known concubine, you can claim cheating yell.
Marriage is marriage.
Once you are joined to someone by whatever means you are automatically the fellow property.

Biglittlelois:



Marriage it not "sort of" an open contract, it is an open contract when terms and conditions have being tabled towards it, it is not when nothing has been said, same way, it can also be assumed that since polygamy is not specified, it is not allowed, by default.

In traditional marriage the man does not make the vow of fidelity because it is against tradition for a man to be tied to one woman. So it is safe to say that vow of fidelity not being said is because polygamy is allowed.

Sleekfingers:



No vex

No wahala bro. Even though I am not a northerner, I feel their cultural practices should be respected in this discourse as well

Biglittlelois:



Where is it explicitly stated that infidelity is allowed when exchanging vows?

Madam leave grammar.
Explicitly this that bla bla bla

What OP said is just the truth whether you want to understand it or not.
As a wife you are more protected In a marriage if it done by the law other than mere traditional stuff.

Take it or leave it.

Sterope:
https://thenigerialawyer.com/divorce-your-wife-lose-your-house-to-her-oyo-court-rules/

You should check it out. I wasn't sure it was relevant.

It is indeed very relevant. Sadly, many women are still unaware of the existence of this act at all.

https://www.fao.org/gender-landrights-database/country-profiles/countries-list/national-legal-framework/womens-property-and-use-rights-in-personal-laws/en/?country_iso3=NGA#:~:text=Married%20Women's%20Property%20Act%20of,acquired%20before%20or%20after%20marriage.&text=%2D%20Courts%20can%20rule%20anywhere%20in,on%20equity%20grounds%20(11).

Kobojunkie:
Try not to approach this emotionally please so you can clearly see what it is you continue to miss.

The very same traditional marriage laws that exist today are the same laws that were used to marry off your great grand mother, along with the other wives, her husband may have had. These laws do not exclude adultery and polygamy from from contract - marriage in this sense is defined as an open contract by these laws allowing men to have their pick of wives.

Now, what OP is telling you is that by choosing to be married under the very same traditional laws even today, you openly agree to the same deal your great grandmother's agreed to.

U can never defeat Kobojunkie in a debate.

Numerouno94:
U can never defeat Kobojunkie in a debate.

Ofcourse you can so never give up trying to!

Kobojunkie:
It is indeed very relevant. Sadly, many women are still unaware of the existence of this act at all.

https://www.fao.org/gender-landrights-database/country-profiles/countries-list/national-legal-framework/womens-property-and-use-rights-in-personal-laws/en/?country_iso3=NGA#:~:text=Married%20Women's%20Property%20Act%20of,acquired%20before%20or%20after%20marriage.&text=%2D%20Courts%20can%20rule%20anywhere%20in,on%20equity%20grounds%20(11).

The excerpt below from the link you posted is exactly what the arguments are centered upon and rightly so

Kajaard:
The excerpt below from the link you posted is exactly what the arguments are centered upon and rightly so

We are here considering traditional marriage laws not religious ones and the focus has been mainly on those in the south east and southwest since sharia is is whole different can of forms.
This particular act seems to be courtesy of the British

The passing of the Married Women’s Property Act of 1870 did not satisfy women’s rights activists, and women like Millicent Garrett Fawcett (1847-1929) advocated for women’s financial autonomy. Their continued campaigning eventually resulted in the passage of the Married Women’s Property Act of 1882. This law actually gave women independence under the law regarding finances and property. The law allowed women to own, buy, and sell property, keep any income from the property or an occupation, and keep any inheritance. Additionally, the law made both parents equally responsible for their children. These changes in legislature gave women much greater legal autonomy and cleared the British system of coverture.

https://hist259.web.unc.edu/marriedwomenspropertyact/

Timibraun0010:


She is right. British constitution isn't written down in a single document but the laws are obeyed. Traditionally speaking and custom wise, you won't get the proof you seek but those customs are true even though they aren't documented

Lol so you're saying the British constitution and laws are actually words of mouth only? It is not documented anywhere? As in someone will just wake up one day and formulate what suits him or her and claim it as fact?


Traditionly speaking, what makes the custom true? Words of mouth from group of men back in the day who sat down to formulate what they feel like, no written laws or whatever, that same words of mouth is then passed down to generations, makes it true and nothing but the truth? What if these men formulate more and more customs to from their head to suit their own purpose, makes it true?

No it is not true, and those words of mouth are not facts, until it is written, signed and documented, it remains an assumption.

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

. The wedding Our Lord Jesus Christ attended at Cana in the Bible was it held in the church or Court? Honestly speaking you're a mad person. Church and court wedding were introduced by white people not biblical. Your slave mentality will surely ruined your life. Rubbish and ingredients.

Original4u:


Madam leave grammar.
Explicitly this that bla bla bla

What OP said is just the truth whether you want to understand it or not.
As a wife you are more protected In a marriage if it done by the law other than mere traditional stuff.

Take it or leave it.

The arguments here is on traditional law, stick to it, no where is it stated as the truth.

Kobojunkie:
We are here considering traditional marriage laws not religious ones and the focus has been mainly on those in the south east and southwest since sharia is is whole different can of forms.

Kobo you argue too much. Read the excerpt, it expressly stated islamic as well as customary or traditional laws. I refuse to fall for your bait to go into an extensive round of arguments which you revel and excel at

Kobojunkie:
Ofcourse you can so never give up trying to!

Defeating u in an argument is a tough nut to crack. Re u a lecturer or a writer?

Kingstanding:
. The wedding Our Lord Jesus Christ attended at Cana in the Bible was it held in the church or Court? Honestly speaking you're a mad person. Church and court wedding are for white people, your slave mentality will surely ruined your life. Rubbish and ingredients.

Jesus Christ attended a wedding but he never told you to that had anything to do with what God wants. Instead in Matthew 19 vs 3 - 5 , Jesus Christ informed you that marriage was nothing more than an agreement between a man and a woman.

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

If you like marry in the world's most prestigious court, men will be men and you either stay in your marriage or leave to become sx toy in the hands of randy men

dyera:


In traditional marriage the man does not make the vow of fidelity because it is against tradition for a man to be tied to one woman. So it is safe to say that vow of fidelity not being said is because polygamy is allowed.

Show a proof where it is stated that it is against tradition for a man to be tied to one woman, also, show us what will happen to men that tied themselves to one woman since tradition does not allow polygamy.

Kajaard:
Kobo you argue too much. Read the excerpt, it expressly stated islamic as well as customary or traditional laws. I refuse to fall for your bait to go into an extensive round of arguments which you revel and excel at

Did you bother to follow the argument at all. We are here discussing traditional marriage laws of which Islamic laws are not.

The link I provided was meant to point to the part about the married woman's property act of 1882 which the other had pointed out. Try to follow along.

Biglittlelois:
Where is it explicitly stated that all traditional marriages is automatic polygamy or adultery approved? Show us proof, link pls, don't just spew your own opinion as fact.

magnified ignoramuse.

Toks2008:


If you like marry in the world's most prestigious court, men will be men and you either stay in your marriage or leave to become sx toy in the hands of randy men

So are you saying all women who leave their marriage always end up with randy men?

BadBradley:
magnified ignoramuse.

I'm guessing your father right? Ok.

DimIsaac10:
How old are you?.

Even if you are a known concubine, you can claim cheating yell.
Marriage is marriage.
Once you are joined to someone by whatever means you are automatically the fellow property.

That is why it is not advantageous advantageous women to opt for traditional marriage then, just as the Op stated.

Kobojunkie:
What is traditional marriage?
There are typically no oaths or agreements taken by either party on the issue of adultery, are there?,

What EXACTLY does taking an oath have to do with adultery?

If marriage is between willing partners..

It's stands to reason that any act outside of the said marriage is forbidden..

If that is not so,then why the CHARADE of marriage in the first instance?

OmoEpe:



Stop the blind arguments. Traditionally a woman is seen as the property of the man so also her seed and all her pocessions.
The traditional marriage is based on the African tradition which is patriarchal in it's ENTIRETY.

The woman being, by this traddition the absolute property of the man isn't by any stretch of imagination permitted to contemplate being with another man.

English law is what preaches monogamy. If you desire a monogamous marriage just ensure you do a court/church wedding. That is the OPs point.


There is absolutely no provision for monogamous relationship in African tradition marriage


Hope you understand it better now?

No I don't understand yours, cos it obviously came out from your mouth, there is no proof whatsoever that traditional laws explicitly said that,

A woman, a human being, is not a property of another human being, explain and screenshot where it is stated in the African tradition and patriarchy that such exists let's all see it, words of mouth can always be false and dismissed as pure nonsense, just cos some bunch of men sat down to voice out what suits them at a particular era back in the day, doesnt make it an actual truth, proof, link, or don't quote me again.

Sterope:
The man never ready to marry more wives. How much do these women get in Nigeria?

Women in traditional marriages don't walk away completely empty handed as well in customary courts.

Na lie o. For moat customs, if man pay bride price for woman head, and he say him no do again, she must return his bride price to be free single again. No compensation for women o

FlipModeSquade:
What EXACTLY does taking an oath have to do with adultery?

If marriage is between willing partners..
It's stands to reason that any act outside of the said marriage is forbidden..
If that is not so,then why the CHARADE of marriage in the first instance?

Traditional laws define marriage as a polygamous union between a man and his numerous partners leaving it open to the man to decide. The court marriage laws, on the other hand, define marriage as a monogamous union. So you see how disadvantageous the traditional laws are to the woman.

So, it becomes necessary for any women who chose to go the traditional route to insist that clauses be added to the contract to restrict her marriage in order for it to be a monogamous one..

Biglittlelois:
Where is it explicitly stated that all traditional marriages is automatic polygamy or adultery approved? Show us proof, link pls, don't just spew your own opinion as fact.

Traditional law is mostly not written or rigid like civil law. If you want clarity you can visit your village king or someone similar to a head.

Biglittlelois:



So are you saying all women who leave their marriage always end up with randy men?

I take GOD beg you, no argue on this matter.

8 out of 10 end up with even worse men but guess what? They just lock up and tolerate worse shits cos they don't want the world to start counting for them.


What is the point leaving your marriage cos your husband cheats when there is no guarantee that you will meet a better guy?

Many ladies who leave their marriages cis of infidelity in most cases usually end up sleeping about and even worse still with another woman's husband... And some of them end up lonely and frustrated or worse still get married to intimacy gadgets.

So if only 2 out of 20 are fortunate to meet a better guy probably after getting sampled by men in her bid to find a better guy then what is the point leaving her marriage in the first instance.