MrMacinterchi1:

Traditional law is mostly not written or rigid like civil law. If you want clarity you can visit your village king or someone similar to a head.

Words of mouth isn't a law, a village king can just as well wake up one day and proclaim what suits him, doesn't make it factual or true.

The OP is right, painfully so.

Traditionally a man can take as many wives as he deems fit. There is no part of the Nigerian culture that is against polygamy. More reason I am always shocked when some men say, “let’s go back to the ways of our fathers”. Nobody blocked the road to polygamy. It is very open for any man willing to practice it in 2021.

Polygamy is not having one wife and smoking loud with a 200L girl in a serviced apartment. Our forefathers didn’t do that.

Make your stand clear, let the woman know what she is going into and bring all of them home.

goodsam23:
The Truth Might shock a lot of people but the OP is 100% correct.. In Traditional/Customary marriage, The bride price ties the bride to the groom, however it doesn't tie the groom to the bride... Kindly research this..
Also note that a woman is only allowed custody of the children in customary marriage until the kids are 8 years old, when they are actually considered old enough to leave their mother, most men simply allow the woman to continue suffering with the burden of the childrens upbringing until sometimes they have even graduated from UNI, then he will claim his children... Kindly go to any customary court near your place of residence & confirm..
Being woke, speaking good and fluent grammar and quoting social media influencers counts for nothing in real life marriage issues & child custody battles..
I am happily married & did both traditional and court wedding with my wife.. But is is important our people understand the Law. I have a sister & I have educated her on this same issue since she is single but ready to settle down. As far as Traditional Marriage is concerned, a man cannot cheat.. I am shocked that most ladies on this platform are attacking the OP. She is sharing information that can save them from future regrets.

They are bringing wokeness into the talk. What you said is nothing but the truth. Any lady who has ears should hear o. If you didnt do court marriage, wahala dey o

DEMZEE:


Even with court marriage men can still marry many women

Polygamy is not a crime in Nigeria

Very wrong o. Except na under Sharia. Apart from that, if a man marries a woman customarily and attempts to marry another one, na jail dey call am. It is a crime. They sound it like alarm in marriage registries sef

Yagami:
But common, instead of arguing over superiority of gender and adultery, why not take common sense from the info the OP point out especially for WOMEN
1. Traditional marriage though acceptable and approved is NOT LEGAL BINDING
2. Traditionally, women right are bought by the husband through bride price..
3. It is HIGHLY advised to NOT settle for only traditional marriage as a woman but go for a court wedding, so as to protect your rights

Like it or not, divorce favours the man in a traditional matrimony, while it tint towards the woman for a legal or court marriage..

Ladies LEARN!!!

No o, free these ignoramuses to be arguing with known fact

Okhuadams:
So what's ur point cos I see no point is this pointless Post

Simple! Women should insist on court marriage

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DEMZEE:


ANY MAN WEY DEY DO COURT MARRIAGE NA MUMU

Lol. You wan change change am for women

Kajaard:


This I can agree with.

Na wetin OP too dey talk na

OmoEpe:



Stop the blind arguments. Traditionally a woman is seen as the property of the man so also her seed and all her pocessions.
The traditional marriage is based on the African tradition which is patriarchal in it's ENTIRETY.

The woman being, by this traddition the absolute property of the man isn't by any stretch of imagination permitted to contemplate being with another man.

English law is what preaches monogamy. If you desire a monogamous marriage just ensure you do a court/church wedding. That is the OPs point.


There is absolutely no provision for monogamous relationship in African tradition marriage


Hope you understand it better now?

Leave that person alone, she's revelling in her stupidity.

Having read every arguments. It is just simple.

Ladies don't only marry in the Traditional way

Kobojunkie:
Majority of our forefathers were not rich or wealthy in any way. I remember my own grandfather was not a particular rich man but he had two wives because he wanted more children.

Traditional laws as far as marriage remain, in most cases, as handed down and in many of these laws, women are considered property of their husbands, so also their children. So it not really in a woman's interest to be married by those very laws as the risks are extremely high that she will be deprived a share in properties from the marriage is the case of dissolution, divorce or abandonment.

Traditional laws are actually written down. Well detailed and segmented. Always deliberated on and amended regularly. We have what we call kinsmen constitutions.
Each kinsmen constitutions collectively make up village constitution which brings about the town constitution

pocohantas:
The OP is right, painfully so.

Traditionally a man can take as many wives as he deems fit. There is no part of the Nigerian culture that is against polygamy. More reason I am always shocked when some men say, “let’s go back to the ways of our fathers”. Nobody blocked the road to polygamy. It is very open for any man willing to practice it in 2021.

Polygamy is not having one wife and smoking loud with a 200L girl in a serviced apartment. Our forefathers didn’t do that.

Make your stand clear, let the woman know what she is going into and bring all of them home.

You're right, Poco.

One of my Lecturers back in school told me that he used the law very well to his own advantage.
He and his spouse are both educated, and he said he made sure he didn't conduct a statutory marriage, only customary marriage to do as he likes.
His wife knows he fully cheats, with even 100/200 level girls but she decided to turn a blind eye to it.


As for me, na Court Registry things.

descarado:
Traditional laws are actually written down. Well detailed and segmented. Always deliberated on and amended regularly. We have what we call kinsmen constitutions.
Each kinsmen constitutions collectively make up village constitution which brings about the town constitution

How can I access them please?

OmoEpe:



Stop the blind arguments. Traditionally a woman is seen as the property of the man so also her seed and all her pocessions.
The traditional marriage is based on the African tradition which is patriarchal in it's ENTIRETY.

The woman being, by this traddition the absolute property of the man isn't by any stretch of imagination permitted to contemplate being with another man.

English law is what preaches monogamy. If you desire a monogamous marriage just ensure you do a court/church wedding. That is the OPs point.


There is absolutely no provision for monogamous relationship in African tradition marriage


Hope you understand it better now?

Not church wedding o. That one is even more useless. That one na just for God's blessings. For court case,church wedding no count

Toks2008:


I take GOD beg you, no argue on this matter.

8 out of 10 end up with even worse men but guess what? They just lock up and tolerate worse shits cos they don't want the world to start counting for them.


What is the point leaving your marriage cos your husband cheats when there is no guarantee that you will meet a better guy?

Many ladies who leave their marriages cis of infidelity ends up sleeping about and even worse still with anothwr woman's husband...

So if only 2 out of 20 are fortunate to meet a better guy probably after getting sampled by men in her bid to find a better guy then what is the point leaving her marriage in the first instance.

Based on your 2/10, there is a possibility that a woman who left her cheating husband, can still be married to a faithful man simple.

Are there faithful men out there? Yes, whether minority or majority, they exist, so all these your assumptions and probabilities are inconsequential if women are still getting married to faithful men tomorrow.

tctrills:

In some customs, the children belong to the woman so you have to be specific on the custom you are referring to. Next time, come up with a complete research

Which custom? That custom no dey pay bride price? Abi na the woman dey pay bride price

Joyceaile:
My hubby will never tire,I make sure I over feed him with good joyful Bleep

Eye go clear you. Women always think na sex man wan chop. Una go learn soonest

Kajaard:


In the north it's not illegal.

The only exception. Women dey suffer pass sef for this region

Rubbiish:

& u haven't see men who wedded in church or court marrying more than one wife??

This is petty bro. You can marry 10 wives but only one is recognized by law. (Court or church)
What she's saying is only court or Church marriage compels man/woman to vow or take an oath to staying with only one woman/man respectively. There's no traditional marriage that compels man or woman to take such a vow and the op is actually right. That is why the court or church cannot dissolve a marriage done in a traditional way. Simple

ityP:
Eye go clear you. Women always think na sex man wan chop. Una go learn soonest

ROFLMAO

Biglittlelois:



Same with polygamy.

No one said it is. You're not getting this thread

Kobojunkie:
So what you are attempting to say here is that traditional laws encourage adultery and is of no benefit to women?

What about the other way around? Couldn't it also be said that women who marry under native law are free to seek adventure outside of their marriage in the same light? Or are women slaves to their men under these laws you refer to?

Some traditions still allow women to seek adventure, even up till this present era...
But generally, in ancient Igbo Tradition, a man who had a lady he continuously had sex with, and he did not pay bride price on the lady, then the lady becomes his “iko” (concubine), and if a concubine became pregnant, the baby would belong to the husband of the concubine (if she was a married lady), or to her father (if she was an unmarried lady).
Young unmarried men were not permitted to have “iko”, unless the lady in question was already a married woman (but the unmarried young man would be facing stigmatization amongst his peers for not looking for maiden who would bear children for him, rather then a married lover). It was assumed that the unmarried young men didn't know anything about women yet, and that was why the young men usually hid in the bushes with the maidens they loved in order to have sex, and once he got any of the maidens pregnant, then he must marry her first. If he still loved the other maidens, they may become his “iko” if they are interested.
Christianity came and preached against having “iko”. The whole psychology surrounding concubines is so complicated.
It had led to lost of broken families and untimely deaths due to poisoning.
..
..
Some people still practice it up till now.
For instance, in Anambra State, some married men in some remote villages have “Agiri”, whom the wife might even know very well.
..
And not just that.
A man’s wife can also be an “Agiri” to another married man, and the man marrying the woman would even know that she is an “Agiri” to another man, he may even know the man himself to whom his own wife is an “Agiri” to.
..
And what is an “Agiri”??
An Agiri is a concubine.
..
..
That's Crazy Huuh??!!

Okhuadams:
So what's ur point cos I see no point is this pointless Post

You are daft so you can't actually understand

BluntCrazeMan:

Some people still practice it up till now.
For instance, in Anambra State, some married men in some remote villages have “Agiri”, who the wife might know very well.
..
And not just that.
A man’s wife can also be an “Agiri” to another married man, and the man marrying the woman would even know that she is an “Agiri” to another man, he may even know the man himself to whom his own wife is an “Agiri” to.
..
And what is an “Agiri”??
An Agiri is a concubine....
That's Crazy Huuh??!!

DEMZEE:


It's biology. Women can't serve two masters. They can't serve two dicks, it's their innate biological makeup.

That's why women and men cheat differently

It is well.
There are some cultures where women marry more than one husband.
Have you heard of polyandry?
Some part of Northern Nigeria practice polyandry in the olden days. Tibet, small fraction of India etc still practice polyandry.

Internet is also a great teacher.

Kingstanding:
. The wedding Our Lord Jesus Christ attended at Cana in the Bible was it held in the church or Court? Honestly speaking you're a mad person. Church and court wedding were introduced by white people not biblical. Your slave mentality will surely ruined your life. Rubbish and ingredients.

What happened during divorce during bible times? Did the woman get anything? Absolutely nott

BluntCrazeMan, is there any literature on these practices and laws that I can access online abeg. I am very much interested in learning of some of these here intriguing traditions.

Biglittlelois:



Show a proof where it is stated that it is against tradition for a man to be tied to one woman, also, show us what will happen to men that tied themselves to one woman since tradition does not allow polygamy.

You're getting it wrong. Polygamy is permitted and not enforced. Two different things

folake4u:


You're right, Poco.

One of my Lecturers back in school told me that he used the law very well to his own advantage.
He and his spouse are both educated, and he said he made sure he didn't conduct a statutory marriage, only customary marriage to do as he likes.
His wife knows he fully cheats, with even 100/200 level girls but she decided to turn a blind eye to it.


As for me, na Court Registry things.

What if he refuses?

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

Faithful is an emotional and physical contract marriage doesn't guarantee. Heck! If marriage guarantees faithfulness, why are there a gazillion cases of philandering spouses (including wives) and paternity fraud?

A philandering wife or husband already exhibited the signs pre-marriage and during dating.
Men especially who forgive cheating women open the way for three things:

Disrespect;
Paternity fraud;
Death by a scornful woman who doesn't regard you.

Marriage wouldn't fix any of these things. The wedding is just an event. The wedding is just a PUBLIC CELEBRATION of vows of loyalty you made to each other but these days, for most girls, the wedding is a status symbol to flaut for 5 years or so for 361 'likes' on Facebook until some grow bored and being their pre-marriage philandering.