jaybee3:

It never hurts to have a little money of your own somewhere. However, that shouldn't be simply because your husband hasn't listed you as his next-of-kin & beneficiary; after all, there's no guarantee that you'll outlive your husband.

It is possible that your husband chose his brother as next of kin, before he married you, and just hasn't deemed it necessary to review it since then (I use my younger brother as my next of kin and beneficiary for everything I do for now, because I'm not married).

This isn't something that should cause trouble, since it can easily be rectified if you talk about it.

If you already have kids, let him know that his kids should be the primary beneficiary of his investments and pension. However, if you don't have kids yet, he may not want you to be the beneficiary, as he may feel that should anything happen to him, you may marry someone else, and he has to look out for his family.

This is where the issue of love and trust come into play. I sense that you guys have trust issues, since you aren't his confidante. You need to take steps to address this, rather than running off to start saving money of your own, which may further deepen the distrust, if he finds out.

This issue is delicate and should be handled with care, the manner in which you present your case to him may create a negative image of you, and I'm sure you don't want that.

Do you have kids? If yes, it will make more sense you let him see the advantages of having his kids as next of kin, don't ever bring the idea of you being his next of kin, it may look suspicious.

Talk about it with him, he's for sure a human and thus has brains.

Perharps he did that while he was unmarried, he needs to update his official records and will too.

Hope this helps.

Dyt:



I know u
Hmmmmm
Tunlabo?

What's tunlabo?
Abeg madam carry your yansh comot make i see front

buoye1:
I ll advice you start saving for your self and ask himo why he did so!




As for me,I ll make my wife my beneficiary.........I wonder what some guys are saying up there

To start saving from the husband salary or from hers?
Women are too fast. If she is sincere enough, no man will marry a wife to hurt her.

How educated is your husband? Does he know the implications of not including you as his next of kin? If you feel he might not understand the implications then you can talk to him.

But if you know and are fully convinced that he knows what he is doing after all no one else can know your husband better than you then I suggest you start planning your future because he obviously trusts his brother more than you.

Dyt:

chisos.......if this is truth its better......


















she should just go and die...

2nd page things am getting closer

Khabuqi:


What's tunlabo?
Abeg madam carry your yansh comot make i see front

Shooting
Die
Die
Now
Now

Dyt:


Shooting
Die
Die
Now
Now

jaybee3:

BritneyStacy:
Don't know exactly what to call it; rude awakening or shocker of my life!! I stumbled on photocopies of my husband's pension's scheme form, Life Insurance form and will.

As I went through the forms, I saw that my I am not my husband's next of Kin or beneficiary!! His younger brother is!! It hurts to realise that for a house that Ђåvε̲ made more than 60percent contribution to, per adventure something happens tomorrow, I will be left at the mercy of my brother in laws!!!

I haven't confronted him yet because I don't know how to. But I intend starting a secret saving account for myself because as at now, he access to all my bank accounts. I have also decided to stop contributing a dime to the house because I don't Ђåvε̲ any stake in it!

Are my thoughts in order? Please I need suggestions...what do I do? Married men why on earth would your wife not be your next of kin?

a wise prince relies upon only that which he controls. and spends leissure hours preparing for times of adversity.

What is all these poo about not trusting her enough or children must be involved before she can be made his next of kin?

seems you guys don't really understand the concept of marriage...

If you don't love her enough or trust her enough, why marry her in the first place?

Talk with him about it o... that is very important but most importantly, start saving up(doesn't stop you from contributing your quota).

Even those who used their wives or kids as next of kin, when death comes knocking, sometimes the families always have a way of stripping them of everything.

Pls, don't rely on his wealth at all... what if tomorrow he comes home with another woman? You need to prepare yourself for any unforeseen circumstances.

Dyt:
Hmmnmnn

If I say anything now, they will call me names

But sorry o woman
U are very dumb
Lived n living all ur life for a man, even without seeing his will u shld have made smth for ursef, well welcome to the real world

how arr you sure she lived her life for her a man? How could she have contributed 60 percent and never checked on the document before now? That man must have worked hard to get those properties alone. There is a difference between a will and next of kin. She needs to get enlightened.

majekdom2:
how arr you sure she lived her life for her a man? How could she have contributed 60 percent and never checked on the document before now? That man must have worked hard to get those properties alone. There is a difference between a will and next of kin. She needs to get enlightened.

Maybe I failed to read,understand and assimilate where she said she contributed 60%

That man is terrible selfish
Op might not have a child yet

Billyonaire:
If you have kids, then your first son should be made next-of-kin. If you have no kids, its natural for a man to make his brother the next of kin. But if you make contributions to the house, then certainly make a baby to solve these issues.

Haba....is making babies by her power??.....derz notin natural for a man to make his broda nxt of kin or wateva,im abt 25 & ma dad's nxt of kin has always bin ma mum.....even d cars he bought 4 her were in her names & av seen orda men do dat witout fear or second thought so watz d biggie?

GboyegaD:
Two wrongs don't make a right. Talk to him and listen to his explanations add that will guide your decision. It is possible his explanations will open greater sockets. Just try to be calm do that you can pick ask necessary details.

Silly parable
what is wrong here?
Having a secrete account?
Have your brother as your next of kin?

Abeg start that savings ASAP and make your kids your next of kin too. He has access to your finances and you contribute immensely to the house only to be sidelined like that... Wth!

Pls, create that chief account for yourself then have the talk with him...whatever he was thinking in the first place?

U better start saving before its too late and discuss with ur husband.

BritneyStacy:
Don't know exactly what to call it; rude awakening or shocker of my life!! I stumbled on photocopies of my husband's pension's scheme form, Life Insurance form and will.

As I went through the forms, I saw that my I am not my husband's next of Kin or beneficiary!! His younger brother is!! It hurts to realise that for a house that Ђåvε̲ made more than 60percent contribution to, per adventure something happens tomorrow, I will be left at the mercy of my brother in laws!!!

I haven't confronted him yet because I don't know how to. But I intend starting a secret saving account for myself because as at now, he access to all my bank accounts. I have also decided to stop contributing a dime to the house because I don't Ђåvε̲ any stake in it!

Are my thoughts in order? Please I need suggestions...what do I do? Married men why on earth would your wife not be your next of kin?

If there are no kids, then the man is right. If anything happens to the man, the next option for the Nigerian woman is to remarry, remarrying with the man's property is unfair to the man's brothers. The soft way is for the man to give his wife some percentage in his will since kids are not there.

Call him and tell him what you saw. Delay is dangerous. All those other actions are not solution per say.

I suggest you talk to him.
What if he started running the pension account way before he met you?

Perhaps it's time for him to update the same form.
If you don't remind him by talking to him at the right time you are On your own.

Always remember "African mentality" too, talk about this at the wrong time and he's gonna think you wanna kill him.

Rehearse this and tell him at the right time. He's your husband and you should know when to and when not to.

If you truly contributed 60% to the house, demand your right for the house, but in reality the fact that you are married to him does not give you right to his wealth!. He has the right to decide what happens after his death and that is why it is called will!.

You can actually make your will with this in mind as well. Hope the house papers shows joint ownership!!. If not you are a proper Mumu. This thing is mine is different from this thing is ours.!! oo.

Put the man where he belongs, Make it clear what belongs to you and what belongs to him also whatever is jointly owned should be clear and reflected in documentations!.

Documentations will trump his will or what he singly wrote!. If a car is yours, let it reflect your name!!

That is how your husband wants it!!

Dyt:
Hmmnmnn

If I say anything now, they will call me names

But sorry o woman
U are very dumb
Lived n living all ur life for a man, even without seeing his will u shld have made smth for ursef, well welcome to the real world

Why call her dumb?

Your post sef doesn't even make sense.

braine:


Why call her dumb?

Your post sef doesn't even make sense.

Pls post ur very own sensible one

The man is smarter than U u want to kill the man and inherit his properties. dont trust a woman and dont mix biz with woman

I no dey lik 2 comment here bt @op u are very funny o..he has access 2 ur account do u have access 2 his? U came alone 2 dis world n dats how u'll go o! A word is enof for d wise o¤ ur money is ur money, his money is for d family(u n d kids) open another account n start savin its not 2 late my dear will it to ur kids mostly ur female kids¤ i dont tink it wise 2 confront him abt his will

A man will not just make that kind of a decision without thinking it through...the question is who are u in your husband eyes?..how good are u to the kids if there's and to the husband family members..



WHO ARE U..ask your self that question

warrior01:
@Op, is your husband dead yet? Don't you think it makes more sense to talk to him and strongly convey your displeasure about the anomaly instead of coming here to seek for advice from strangers who most times would have nothing positive to contribute but rather wish to scatter your home. Please be wise as the time used in coming to Nairaland should have been used to sort things out with your hubby. Remain blessed

She, coming here to seek advise doesn't mean she lacks powers of discretion, sir . Telling her to discuss it with hubby could be good but have you thought of how she came-by this discovery

BritneyStacy:
Don't know exactly what to call it; rude awakening or shocker of my life!! I stumbled on photocopies of my husband's pension's scheme form, Life Insurance form and will.

As I went through the forms, I saw that my I am not my husband's next of Kin or beneficiary!! His younger brother is!! It hurts to realise that for a house that Ђåvε̲ made more than 60percent contribution to, per adventure something happens tomorrow, I will be left at the mercy of my brother in laws!!!

I haven't confronted him yet because I don't know how to. But I intend starting a secret saving account for myself because as at now, he access to all my bank accounts. I have also decided to stop contributing a dime to the house because I don't Ђåvε̲ any stake in it!

Are my thoughts in order? Please I need suggestions...what do I do? Married men why on earth would your wife not be your next of kin?

haba how can you not have account of yours. im all for you talking to him ooh but pls have an account of yours im on my knees begging you

maybe he does not trust you. If a wife is trustworthy, it is best to use your wife as next of kin instead of one of your children. I have seen two different families, one the wife is d next of kin, the second the first son is d next of kin. when both men died, the wife that was next of kin held the mans properties and raised the children by herself. today the children are all grown ups with their own families. Every festive period they come home to their father's compund that their mother kept from being sold by any of them. while the second family with first son as next of kin, don't have a family house, becos the guy sold it.

Why are you hyperventilating over nothing?
You are his next of kin by default so long as you are his legal wife

I will be more worried if he totally shut you out of his will though and the will was drafted after you guys got married