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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate (36981 Views)
My Son Is Getting Married Without My Approval. / Our Daughter Got Married Without Our knowledge / My Sister Got Pregnant At 21 And My Dad Is Not Taking It Lightly (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by surrogatesng: 10:37pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
You have done the right thing 5 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by dust144(m): 10:38pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Please mediate trust yourself |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by FarahAideed: 10:38pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
I don't understand ? Are they expecting you to go and beg another man to take back your sister 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by ifyalways(f): 10:39pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Hmmm |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by Apina(m): 10:39pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
KOPT33: Exactly what you did nd even more. Let them carry their cross, just imagine the nonsense and buhari. They buried you before your time and then expect you whom they called dead to do what exctly? if I were you, would have remained dead to them no matter what. But just for the sake of the children your sister has, do something for her if u can cos I believe they are still very young to be exposed to the kind of difficult life you had when you lost your father though the circumstances might be different, cos a typical Nigerian would remarry and forget he even has children with another woman. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by jimcaddy(m): 10:39pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Just let them be, continue your own hustle and foot the bills when necessary. Let your sister settle her marriage by herself. No one settles marriage better than the couple themselves. KOPT33: 6 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by agabaI23(m): 10:42pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
KOPT33 You are carrying the financial burden of the family already. You are already a leader. You want to add 3 more mouths? Your sis and her kids will become your responsibility. You haven't forgiven them yet. You can ask them why they ignored you to hear their explanation. 10 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by Nobody: 10:43pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
My advice.. Tell the warring parties that u r ready to mediate in the crisis.. Fix venue for Eko hotel and suite(all expenses paid by Dem), ask to be lodged in the presidential suite of the hotel �, chows and wines to be provided for u truout d duration of the reconciliation, consultancy fees paid to ur manager, Tel Dem u wee compile ur report and send Dem ur finding and recommendations on a later date, Den set up a committee to draw up modalities for a sustainable and enduring marital status report of ur sister and allocate resources to Implement the findings of d committee... If all dis ma explanations no understand u,den call me for further explanation... Am ready to assist in my little way to solve the impasses... Wat r friend for?? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by chuksanambra: 10:43pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
agabaI23: Hmmn... That's another angle. OP, you're about to fall into a trap. As it stands, you're blameless in that sham marriage. They can't blame you because they never involved you. Now that it's going bad, if you dare interfere, they'll blame you if it gets worse. They would say you didn't give it your best shot or you killed the marriage finally. Let them bury the still-born marriage they gave birth to. Stay out of this their madness. 9 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by MSAdeyinka: 10:44pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
U av made the mistake from the beginning , even though u may young when ur father died, but u knw that ur position irrespective of ur age is to take the position of ur after after his death, u shd av stand ur ground irrespective of ur mother or pastors nonsense talk and let them realise u knw ur right and ur stand , but all hope is not lost , ur siblings still remain ur blood , it maybe painful and the fault is both sides , so jst safe ur sister marriage from abuse and collapse and take the lead . 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by talk2bity: 10:45pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Na so. ![]() |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by YorubaAssasin: 10:46pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
OP, just perform ur responsibilities as the pusedo-family head. ![]() Let it go and move on hence, it becomes a mountain before you. It's one of the rare traits of leadership, trust me. ![]() I pray God grant you divine wisdom and guidance! |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by ChiefSweetus: 10:46pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Fair dues, OP. If you initiate mediation and it fails, guess who the blame will be on for exacerbating a potentially salvageable issue? Lol (that's what it'll be then because people like to blame others for their mistakes and misfortunes).. You have done everything right up to this point. I suggest you continue on your path of strategic aloofness. In the words of Chinua Achebe, "you are blameless." 13 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by agabaI23(m): 10:47pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
KOPT33 Another thing is, you have to be grateful to your family in a way because they helped with your success today. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by Donjazzy12(m): 10:47pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
KOPT33:Never you belittle yourself to accept that nonsense. If they are serious, they know what to do. If you accept the role of mediator, it means you have accepted the rubbishing of your role as the first Son. Don't be like Esau who sold his birthright for a pot of beans. Hold your ground. 23 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by swazpedro(m): 10:48pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
KOPT33: The true meaning of forgiveness is doing what you would have done, if the incident didn't happen, I you have truly forgotten the past, then mediate and let everything be like it didn't happen, I feel your pain though |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by XwhY(m): 10:48pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Let go. You may not be able to forget how much they have hurt you, but you need to forgive. Do whatever in your capacity to help your sister if you have been invited. I'm sure you will earn their respect. |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by adozie(m): 10:50pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
My brother, I feel you, however keep in mind that love can also hurt. I have come to learn that sometimes when people love too much they can act out in different ways. You are the head of the family, it is your God given right. I get the feeling that your mum and siblings expected a lot more from you in your dark days. If you are sincere to yourself, you might be able to recollect that you probably fell below their expectations then, or so they thought. Now you have proven them wrong. You have worked hard to be where you are today and the respect have come back. I urge you to seize the moment. I know you hurt and you have every reason to hurt, but you will be a bigger person by putting the past behind you. Be the head that God made you and has now restored you. Good luck. 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by xammy(m): 10:51pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
KOPT33: |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by LordKO(m): 10:55pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
@OP I share in your stance of being an absolutist. However, don't forget the importance of diplomacy. Believe you me, your refusal to mediate at this juncture will only mean that you've neither forget their unfairness towards you nor forgiven them. The former is justifiable but the latter isn't. Forgive them thoroughly. Go ahead to mediate and remember to do so conscientiously. The feelings that usually come from the final result of living life on the offensive side rather than the defensive side is always so pleasurable. 6 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by xammy(m): 10:56pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
NwanyiAwkaetiti: They can't complete it now, the storm is not over bro 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by Nobody: 10:56pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Wetin come concern public with this issue now? 3 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by Holuwatoobii(m): 10:59pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Just leave 'em to their issue, the husband perhaps didn't even know that you existed, there's no point in mediating 3 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by JennyJuggs: 11:01pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
raphafire:He needs advice okay? Any other problem? 7 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by Coldfeets: 11:03pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Stop deceiving yourself biko. You are relishing this moment because you've always prayed for it. Now it's your turn to take your own pound of flesh and you want to take your time in having a perfect revenge. My friend please just go and save your sister's marriage... if you can. Revenge is sweet but an eye for an eye will leave everyone blind. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by Nobody: 11:04pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
JennyJuggs:He needs advice from Nairaland....okay |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by Tubanchi(m): 11:04pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
To err is HUMAN but to FORGIVE is DIVINE. 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by HeavenShield: 11:05pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
Talk to God about it, and he will tell you what to do, SIMPLE.. Cheers Guy, (IT IS PAINFUL..FOR SUCH A NEGLECT FROM YOUR FAMILY ON YOU..and as you said, you never know if there was any marriage..that seems sensible..) ..but Talk to God about it, and he will tell you what to do, SIMPLE.. 1 Like |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by JennyJuggs: 11:07pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
raphafire:Nor be human being dey d nairaland? He is gonna have a lot of suggestions, criticisms and a large audience. We still have sane people here. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by IAmAmbrose(m): 11:09pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
A popular ibadan adage says.... Too Hair is woman... To forgive is design ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: My Sister Got Married Without My Knowledge -- Now They Need Me To Mediate by DukeNija(m): 11:10pm On Apr 06, 2018 |
KOPT33: You are a man and I respect your decision. You are even kind to have forgiven them. I can’t imagine my own family abandoning me. God forbid! Indeed, a mans true enemies are members of his household - Jesus Christ |
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