I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

African parents do not realise that the young shall grow. Very sad.
Lady, it's either they let you be on their own accord or you let them know by subtle force. Else, be prepared remain in this depression.

Chuks9000:
B

Since I cannot modify the original post, I just wanna say thank you to everyone that reached out to comment. It means a lot to me. Maybe this is a way of weeding off unserious guys. Too many mails. I don't even know where to start from. And I don't live in ondo town, it was a typographical error. I live in a town in ondo state. I meant to write ondo state before. So I might not be replying any mail soon, I just wanna clear my head for now, and I'd eventually change my church too. I need to be around youthful people like myself. Thanks everyone!

Ifemide123:

What is B
Pls say something

Something

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

Why not LIE that you got a job, and come to where your sisters are at, why not lie with proof of employment and escape. Inbox me, I can help

Soon, you’ll download your husband online.

Chuks9000:
African parents do not realise that the young shall grow. Very sad.
Lady, it's either they let you be on their own accord or you let them know by subtle force. Else, be prepared remain in this depression.

I'm really sad about this. I have a shop I run here so except I get a good job outside our town I can't just leave. The best bet is to rent a place and stay on my own but No! I am not married so why should a single lady live alone in same town with her parents? Yet they won't give me the freedom I should have. I can't stay beyond 7 outside, I can't visit a boyfriend in his own town too.

Ladylite:


Why not LIE that you got a job, and come to where your sisters are at, why not lie with proof of employment and escape. Inbox me, I can help

One is married, my other younger sis got a job and now lives with her. I have a shop here so I'm kinda stuck

That's so serious.... I think there are some parents like that . They're always think they are doing the proper thing but too much of everything is also bad. Although not every parents would be happy or understand when you told them you want to visit your lover you met online. Its crazy really but it's really not matter anymore. You really need an elderly person (May be your Pastor) to help you talk to them and you needs to be talk to also. You ain't young anymore and by the time you gets to 28 when you are over due for marriage and no man in your life then they'ill starts praying and going from one mountain to the other one. That's how some ladies are still single at 30 and above till date.

onlinetomola:
That's so serious.... I think there are some parents like that . They're always think they are doing the proper thing but too much of everything is also bad. Although not every parents would be happy or understand when you told them you want to visit your lover you met online. Its crazy really but it's really not matter anymore. You really need an elderly person (May be your Pastor) to help you talk to them and you needs to be talk to also. You ain't young anymore and by the time you gets to 28 when you are over due for marriage and no man in your life then they'ill starts praying and going from one mountain to the other one. That's how some ladies are still single at 30 and above till date.

Hmm

Ifemide123:

Hmm

where is your location ? Sorry to ask pls

ifemide123, PLEASE NEVER GO TO VISIT A STRANGER YOU MET ONLINE.

I repeat again NEVER!!

Rather let him come visit you and meet with you at an eatery in your area.

Go and see him in the eatry in the company of a friend that will wait for you somewhere in the same eatry.

Even with all the serial killings that happened in Port Harcourt you girls won't still learn.

onlinetomola:


where is your location ? Sorry to ask pls

Ondo town

GraGra247:
ifemide123, PLEASE NEVER GO TO VISIT A STRANGER YOU MET ONLINE.

I repeat again NEVER!!

Rather let him come visit you and meet with you at an eatery in your area.

Go and see him in the eatry in the company of a friend that will wait for you somewhere in the same eatry.

Even with all the serial killings that happened in Port Harcourt you girls won't still learn.

Thank you
I know my mum. Even if the guy has come to introduce himself to her, she wouldn't still allow for weekends visitations not to talk of a one week or few days visit

Davash222:
Soon, you’ll download your husband online.

Maybe she should try and download her husband from Google playstore.

Ifemide123:

Thank you
I know my mum. Even if the guy has come to introduce himself to her, she wouldn't still allow for weekends visitations not to talk of a one week or few days visit

You sound immature though, and certainly not even ready for a serious relationship. Note, maturity is not in age.

How on earth would you expect your mum and dad to just let you go off with some random guy called a boyfriend? The introduction sef is disrespectful and if you were my child, let me reserve my comment.

You're a lady and men will only respect you when you respect yourself. Those guys who run don't run 'cause your parents are holding you down, they do so 'cause every of their moves will be accounted for since they already know your parents/would be meeting them.

You crave so much for disappearing for a long time with a guy and it's not a good thing. I am older than you by a few years, was once monitored 24/7, all movements must be accounted for and I can tell you that in my house, you don't sleep out without anyone knowing your whereabout. Of course, you can't tell my mum or oldest brother you want to go spend a night/more in a guy's house. They don't even want to hear you have a boyfriend, but they somehow knew I did when I was seeing someone. All my life, the only telling I did was when I was formerly proposed to, though, it later didn't work out. The few occasions I've had to disappear was from school for 3days even as an adult, they must not hear of it. Like 2yrs ago, my eldest bro wanted to know whom I was dating, but I refused and ignored his enquiries with smiles, telling him to leave me alone 'cause I hate disappointments. I have a self-con to myself, I have independence and I have one or two places to go to for sleepovers, but I don't bug. You can never see me outside my house by 8 for security reasons. I don't expect you to be me, but I think you're complaining about irrelevance for now. Lastly, the only man you should introduce to your parents is the one ready to marry you.

KaBabs1:
Babe, you already know your problem. Find a way to get off your parents leash. I recently advised a friend of mine currently in your shoes to enroll for masters, that way she'll have a legit reason to quit leaving with her parents at least temporarily.




Meanwhile, we are in need of creative writers that enjoy writing fiction stories. If you know you have top-notch writing skills and would love to get paid for it, send a sample of your work to workndearn@gmail.com

NB: There's no letter 'a' in 'nd' in the above email. Also, your sample should be 2 pages (1000 words) long.

Thank you

Ifemide123:

Thank you
I know my mum. Even if the guy has come to introduce himself to her, she wouldn't still allow for weekends visitations not to talk of a one week or few days visit

Did you even listen to me. The guy has no business coming to see your mom till he's ready to start the marriage process.

He should get himself a hotel room in town to spend his nights. You only go to see him at an eatery around your area and discuss with him and find out everything about him.

The rest other discussions can be on whatsapp chat till he's ready to bring his people and come and officially see your parents.

The only avenue he has to physically meet with you is in an eatry till he sees your parents with his family members and formalize his intent.

Ifemide123:

I'm really sad about this. I have a shop I run here so except I get a good job outside our town I can't just leave. The best bet is to rent a place and stay on my own but No! I am not married so why should a single lady live alone in same town with her parents? Yet they won't give me the freedom I should have. I can't stay beyond 7 outside, I can't visit a boyfriend in his own town too.

It wont be nice to live separately in the same town as your parent.
From your parent angle, it would be irresponsible to allow you into harms way under their care.
It's either you shakara them by going away pretending to have rented a place for yourself. Eventually, they will call for a round table. Present your demands (and not your case because it will be treated as just normal juvenile complain).

Ifemide123:

Ondo town

Ok ... You are Ifeoluwa right ? I think I know you or seen you somewhere before.

Better stay in one place... What do they want you to come over for, if not knacks?

The boys you are rebelling to go meet, are the same ones that will come online to say single girls who live alone are whores.

Who told you they were POTENTIAL PARTNERS? Guys are always potential partners till they knack you from all angles. Nne, this has never prevented anyone from meeting a partner. Except you are locked inside your house all day.

Go out and mingle with guys around you. While at it, toughen up- you sound like a pushover.

Where there is a will there will be a way!

You can visit or have potential partners meet you up even before 7pm.

During weekends you can meet up in public places and spend time together especially since these are online hook up!

A word of caution though, many mad people full everywhere don’t be quick to travel to meet men you met online. Also be careful of meetings in hotels and at their homes for now

Good luck

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

Chivalry is certainly dying it seems.
When i was about your age, a little less tho, every guy that needed to take me out on a date came to my parents house to pick me up and they were mandated by my father to bring me back at a certain time. I know this is not the typical way most Nigerian parents operate but i can assure you that any boy, guy, or man in any part of the world who has a problem visiting you in your parents house or at least getting to your parents house to take you out from there, is not to be taken seriously. He's just another puccyhunter. Good riddance.

Now for the guys who found it funny that your parents don't allow you visit your boyfriend whom they do not even know? Lol, well you should have told them to keep laughing and be rid of themselves. These are also unserious guys. A responsible man knows that no reasonable parent will allow their 25 year old daughter go visit an unknown 'boyfriend'.

My advise for you is to limit the social media connections and focus on meeting people around the places you frequent. Go out more, i hope you are allowed to do this tho?
Go out, be visible, take walks. What you ought to be doing is making friends, male friends. It is from here you can build a relationship. Don't just start out with the intention of having a romantic relationship, just make friends first. Remember friends can lead you to their own friends and before you know it, you have a string of people you know through other people and so on and so forth.
Getting into a relationship is not that hard once you have friends around you.

You are eager to lose your virginity

Hey listen and listen very good. You have been meeting fvck boys, players, and ritualists. They have no good to offer. If they love you that much, they would come over to your location. Don't say I didn't tell you o, I'm a guy.

It's a very s!lly move to visit a guy you haven't established a proper relationship with. "Come to my house, come to my house" is another way of saying "come have sex, come have freaking sex!"

Seems everyone has love and relationship problems nowadays.

missjo:

Chivalry is certainly dying it seems.
When i was about your age, a little less tho, every guy that needed to take me out on a date came to my parents house to pick me up and they were mandated by my father to bring me back at a certain time. I know this is not the typical way most Nigerian parents operate but i can assure you that any boy, guy, or man in any part of the world who has a problem visiting you in your parents house or at least getting to your parents house to take you out from there, is not to be taken seriously. He's just another puccyhunter. Good riddance.

Now for the guys who found it funny that your parents don't allow you visit your boyfriend whom they do not even know? Lol, well you should have told them to keep laughing and be rid of themselves. These are also unserious guys. A responsible man knows that no reasonable parent will allow their 25 year old daughter go visit an unknown 'boyfriend'.

My advise for you is to limit the social media connections and focus on meeting people around the places you frequent. Go out more, i hope you are allowed to do this tho?
Go out, be visible, take walks. What you ought to be doing is making friends, male friends. It is from here you can build a relationship. Don't just start out with the intention of having a romantic relationship, just make friends first. Remember friends can lead you to their own friends and before you know it, you have a string of people you know through other people and so on and so forth.
Getting into a relationship is not that hard once you have friends around you.

Waoh
Thank you for this. I was beginning to think something isn't right.

GraGra247:


Did you even listen to me. The guy has no business coming to see your mom till he's ready to start the marriage process.

He should get himself a hotel room in town to spend his nights. You only go to see him at an eatery around your area and discuss with him and find out everything about him.

The rest other discussions can be on whatsapp chat till he's ready to bring his people and come and officially see your parents.

The only avenue he has to physically meet with you is in an eatry till he sees your parents with his family members and formalize his intent.

But why are these kind of guys scarce in reality? They are making me feel like being a good lady doesn't hold water. One ended whatever we were trying to build with that line "you're a good girl..."

onlinetomola:


Ok ... You are Ifeoluwa right ? I think I know you or seen you somewhere before.

I am not