always cover your mouth when yawning in public

always carry a handkerchief.
don't use ur index finger or palm to wipe sweat off ur face.

always carry a handkerchief.
don't use ur index finger or palm to wipe sweat off ur face.

The longer I’m a mom, the more I realize that strangers say dumb things…especially about your baby. When a woman has a baby, suddenly she becomes public property – along with her child. Everyone has an opinion…and they will voice it. When you’re newly postpartum, anything a stranger says will make you weep – or make you fly off the handle…one of those. It’s sleep deprivation, don’t ya know. And it’s also that “Mommy Protection Syndrome.” It’s strong, man. The claws come OUT. You best not mess with a new mama – bear or human.

So, let’s take a look today at the top 10 dumb things strangers say about babies…because don’t you know that everyone is a baby expert?



#1 #“Awwww! He’s so cute!”

DUDE! Do you need eyeglasses? Are you blind? I’ve put my daughter in a PINK DRESS! I’m not sure about you, but I’ve never met a father yet who was cool with putting his SON in a pink dress. Maybe I just run in the wrong circles. Open your eyes, man! PINK = girls! I dressed her in pink to avoid this issue. *Sigh*

#2 “Is he a good baby?”

I have never understood this question. It’s loaded. What on earth does it mean anyway? Is he a GOOD baby? Huh? Have you ever heard a mama say, “Why, no. He’s a terrible baby. I was thinking about taking him back and asking for a refund.”

My mom says it means, “Does he cry?” Of course he cries! He’s a BABY! I think what you really wanted to know is, “Does your baby cry more than mine?” If that’s what you mean, ask it.

#3 “Does he sleep through the night?”

I hate this more than any other question. No. My 3 week old does NOT sleep through the night. I’m 29 years old and I don’t even sleep through the night. Do you? I can’t even get my 3 year old to sleep through the night.

Please don’t ask a sleep-deprived mama if her baby is sleeping through the night…it’s really not common for that to happen and it will just make her cry. Trust me, if he’s sleeping through the night she’ll let you know. Can I get a witness?!



#4 “I guess it takes a while to lose that baby weight, huh?”

Oh no. You did NOT go there, did you? I just carried a child for 9-10 months. So what if I ate a little extra doughnut here and there. Is that any of your business? I think not. So back off! And hand me a doughnut.

#5 “Awww, you’re so pretty! You must look like your daddy because you sure don’t look like your mama.”

Uhhhhh. Lady, I could be wrong, but I think you just called me ugly. Really. My child is pretty and she doesn’t look like me. What am I, chopped liver? Or could it be that you’re hitting on my husband WHILE I’M STANDING HERE. Hand me another doughnut.

# 6“Can I hold him?”

Excuse me…who ARE you? I don’t even know you – never seen you before. You are a random stranger from the grocery store parking lot. I do not know if you have a communicable disease or if you’ve been in prison. Come one step closer to my baby and I’m going to drop-kick you. You could be a baby kidnapper for all I know!



#7 “Was he planned?”

I could be wrong, but this is a very personal question. I don’t know you and I seriously doubt I should be discussing my bedroom activity with you. Were YOU planned? Did your mama love YOU?

God plans all our babies. Booya.

#8 “Just wait till they’re older. It will get harder.”

Wow. Gee. Thanks for that GREAT pep talk. You should be a paid motivational speaker. Loser.

#9 “You shouldn’t breastfeed every time he cries. You’ll spoil him.”

Okay, how about this. The next time YOU’RE hungry I’m going to withhold a snack from you. See how you like it. You’ll cry too. If you take my doughnut away, I’d cry too. I just want a snack for Pete’s sake…can’t the baby have a snack too? And I really seriously doubt you can spoil a child by trying to help them stop crying. I’m a mama…I don’t want my baby to cry. If he wants to eat, I’m going to feed him. But not you, you can forget it, pal.

#10 “Did you vaccinate?”

Really, there is NO way to win with your answer for this one. If you DID vaccinate, you’ll be told about how terrible you are and that your kids will end up with all sorts of problems and won’t get married and will live with you forever – failure to launch. If you DID NOT vaccinate, you’ll be give a written list of all the communicable diseases your child will have before age five.

Instead, the best “answer” for this one is to pretend like you don’t speak English.



So, what’s the best thing to say to a new Mama about her baby? Pat her on the back, smile, and say “You done good mama…you done good.” And then bring her a doughnut.

Amen.

I am a 29 year old lady and I just gave birth to my second baby. I don't want to become one of those mothers who give birth and loose their youth. My baby came out 3 weeks ago and since then I have been tying my stomach with cloth but it doesn't seem to be shrinking fast enough.

I would be grateful for advice on how to get my flat stomach and thin waist back.

my husband and i have been married for a year and half. we have a six month old baby. my sister in law has a six yr old daughter who happens to "live" in our house even though her mother can easily take care of her, but doesn't do so because she claims to be busy. my sister in law comes to pick her child up every weekend but she leaves all her child's cloths both for school and house behind for me to wash which i think is not fair. its not that i don't want to do it but i want her to see that i need help rather than additional chores with the baby and all that. i don't want to tell my husband because i feel it will sprout some dispute between us which i don't want. i wouldn't mind doing it if her mother was not around but since she is around and highly capable of doing it, i can't help but feel that she is taking advantage of me. moreover the girls cloths are even more than that of the three of us combined and it drains my Saturday. meanwhile the mother will be sleeping her Saturday off. can i say anything? i don't want to end up in their bad books.

This is HILARIOUS!!!! Op, thumps up.

i am married to one ...
he possess all these qualities and even more
thank God for my husband

OMG !!!
i think i need a bodyguard....
but wait ooo ...
isn't the elevator equally as dangerous as the stairs ... especially at night?....

ohhh where did everyone run to?

My fiance got sick and i had to prepare soup for him. after preparing the soup i realised that the fish i used had maggots in it. i saw the maggots and i should have told him but i didn't. he didn't see the maggots until after he had finished eating. his elder sister also ate some of the soup but i don't know whether she saw it or not. now, he knows i knew there was maggots in the soup i served him but he hasn't said anything to me. i want to tell him but i don't know how to, and i feel that if i don't tell him he will not trust me anymore. i need advice pls

olumaxi: I know u r refferin to me..ask me out now b4 i change my mind

so u are the dude in the picture abi ??

danced and prayed all nite at church, came home to sleep a little, got up and got dressed to go visit family only to meet a party. my day has been full of laughter.

wow. she looks just like rehanna. beautiful little girl

where are u getting these photos from? im officially addicted.

whenever it rained I would play outside in the puddle of water. what did I know then? now I'm even scared to step out after it has rained because of the live wires which might have fallen down

I can't believe I ever thought u were handsome

CrazyMan:
Did you read my post properly before you commented, or did you hit the reply button simply because you felt like posting.

I was also wondering the same thing like...........seriously?

anyway I don't think its a sin at all to cook for ur fiance so far as its just food.


the sin comes in when u decide to chop each other after u don finish chop de food

the bible tells me " judge not that ye may not be judge, condemn not that ye may not be condemned, forgive that ye may be forgiven."

I hate it when people judge me therefore why should I judge others ?

story story!!!

first of all, why will someone pay N4m for a child if he can just go and adopt for free from a children's home?

secondly, what if the one who bought him is going to use him for blood money?

well right now that u've squandered the money I think u should just forget about ur child and wallow in ur guilt.

maybe someday u will get used to it and not feel soo guilty anymore.

also pray that God will forgive u for exchanging the precious gift he gave to u for a mere N4m.

SMH !!!!

doublecross: the truth is that there is nothing to sing about anymore. you can tell that from what 2face and the rest of them are currently doing. The latest songs i have been listening to these days are complete trash. Teryy G's even worst. just imagine..........................Tile wine amooooooooo nanana.....nanana......oya beremoleoooooo...nanana......nanana........make i sango sangooooooooooooooooooo...nanana.......nanana......ok danceee danceeoooooooo....nanana....oya ka jo tun le se.....................i weak men............


2 face on the other hand is just singing rubish..........my people steady steady...oya steady steady....................if i say tomatoe and you say tomadoe na the same tomatoes..................God help this country

hmmmmmm.!!!! God help us all

Soukiss: i had that one of dem . hv R.I.P ? abi

I don't think so. I would have known by now.

pDude: Who is Styl Plus

like seriously??!!!!

when I wear trousers I make sure I wear something long as blouse to cover up.

in the bible days there was nothing like trousers. all they wore was long dresses, both male and female.

does it also mean that I shouldn't wear tee shirt becos its made for guys?

I happened to be in this commercial vehicle and the one preaching kept talking about the fact that God hates trousers on a Christian lady because the bible says woman shouldn't put on men's attire.

I put on trousers all the time because it frees my movements. I am also a very dedicated Christian.

should I stop?

I need ur comments pls.

Cindarella between your legs

why does it always have to be money related before u can please a lady?

just call her and tell her how much u miss her.

make sure u do it in the sexiest voice possible.

tell ur pastor that any and every spirit under the sun can be broken and defeated by the power of God.
so he should help u to pray to break any familiar spirit.

if the lady was that bad she wouldn't have gone through the stress of fasting in the first place.

I think u should also seek a second opinion.