don´t mind him

Thanks, why una dey argue wit each other, leave studio alone, one man´s bread is another man´s poison.

We all know, it is like 7^up the different is clear!

Baba Sege got an invitation from the Queen to come and
visit her in England. One afternoon, while drinking tea, he
asked the queen her success secret. She told him that
she relies on her people a lot and therefore she must be
certain that they are intelligent. She decided to show him
exactly what she meant and phoned Tony Blair.

"Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo, I'm going to ask Mr. Blair
a question to determine his intelligence."

Queen: "Oh! hello Mr. Blair, I have a question for you:
Your mother has a child, and your father has a child. This child
is not your brother and is not your sister. Who is he?"

Tony Blair *It's ME!

Queen "Correct! Thank you, bye"

"Did you get that Mr. Obasanjo?" the queen asked.
"Yes, thanks a lot,
I'll definitely be using that!"

Once back in Nigeria he decided that he has doubts
about Adolphus Wabara and he's going to ask him
the question. He arranged a meeting with him and
asked him: "Wabara I have a question for you; your
mother has a child and your father has a child. The
child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?."

Wabara thinks, and thinks, "Em, you must give me some
time to think about it."

And Mr. Obasanjo decided to give him a day to come outwith an
answer.

That afternoon, Wabara called a meeting to discuss the question,
but NOBODY knew the answer. They drew up a Wabara family
tree, but to no avail. The next morning, he realized he has to give
Obasanjo an answer and as a last resort, he decided to phone Jerry
Rawlings of Ghana.

" Jerry, your mother has a child and your father has a child. The child
is not your brother and is not your sister ,who is he?"

Jerry answers immediately. "Hey, Adolphus, It's me of course,
you dumb Nigerian!"

Wabara rushed to Obasanjo's office, very impressed to know
the answer to such a difficult question. "Mr. President, I know
who he is, it's ! Jerry Rawlings!"

Obasanjo: "Jerry Rawlings ko , Jerry Gana ni. You are
such a stupid senate president.

I'll make sure you're removed from office. The answer is TONY BLAIR

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love

When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the
supreme sacrificeand gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the
way home from work.

Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked
bean was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill
effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner
and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of
baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and
exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang.

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and
went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was
out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg
and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was
worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom,
I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on
my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and
pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my
husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.

He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I
assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner
guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Imagine this,

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night.  It's
raining heavily when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you
see three people waiting for a bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well
that there could only be one passenger in your car?
Think before you continue reading,

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as
part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady because she is going to die, and
thus you should save her first;

or you could take the old friend because he once saved your
life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.

However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

What would you do?
I will give out the answer, next week.

Come with me to a third grade classroom,

There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a
sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his
pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he
cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never
happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he
will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll
never speak to him again as long as he lives. The boy believes
his heart is going to stop, he puts his head down and prays --
"Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes
from now I'm dead meat."

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a
look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is
carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips
in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water
in the boy's lap.

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to
himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule,
the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him
downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants
dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees
cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as
life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has
been transferred to someone else - Susie.

She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. "You've done
enough, you klutz!" Finally, at the end of the day, as they are
waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers,
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

Susie whispers back, "I wet my pants once too."

Very funny joke, also a reality

An English man, a Scotsman and Irishman are all to give speeches
to the Deaf Association and are keen to give a good impression to
their audience.
The Englishman goes first and, to the surprise of his coll-
eagues, start by rubbing his chest and then his groin. when he
finishes, the Scotsman and Irishman asks him what he said.
'Well,' he explained, 'by rubbing my chest I indicated
breasts, and thus ladies, and rubbing my grion I indicated balls
and thus, gentlemen. So my speech started - "Ladies and Gentle-
men , "'.
On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to
himself, 'I'll go one better than that bastard,' and started his
speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his
head while aslo rubbing his chest and groin. When he finished,
his colleagues asked him what he had said.
'Well,' he explained, ' by imitating antlers and then rub-
bing my chest and groin I started the speech by saying - "Dear
Ladies and Gentlemen , "'.
On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to him-
self, 'I'll go even further than those two bastards,' and started
his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his
chest and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously. When he
finished, one of his colleagues asked him what he was doing.
'Well,' he explained, ' by imitating antlers, rubbing my
chest, then my groin and masturbating I was starting my speech by
saying - "Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, it give me the great pleasure , "'.

I phoned my wife to give her a surprise Happy Birthday wishes
from a phone booth, with which am not sure of the last two numbers.
After I completed my tuneful chorus of 'Happy Birthday to You'
there followed a moment's silence before the voice said, 'That's
very nice but I've no idea who you are.' I had the wrong number.
what made it worse was that I had a low battery (Dead Phone).

A naval boiler stoker goes to Hell. The Devil comes up to him
on the first day and sees him smiling.
'What are you so happy about?' says the Lucifer.
'I just love it here. It's like a spring day in the boiler-room.'
The Devil walks off angry, and decides to get him.
'I'll turn the heat all the way up. That'll show him.'
The next day, the Devil check back our hero, only to
find him happy once again.
'What now?' says the Devil. 'This heat is great! Reminds
me of a summer day in the boiler-room.'
The Devil realises that he has been going about it all wrong.
'Tomorrow I'm going to make it colder than a siberian winter.'
He returns the next day to find the stoker shivering and
blue, but grinning from ear to ear.
'What could you possibly have to be happy about?'
'It's pretty obvious, isn't it? replied the stoker. 'Manchester
City must have won the Premier League!'

A man goes to see the doctor.
'Sorry to bother you, but I seem to have problem getting it up.'
'No problem,' says the doctor, 'I will give you some pioneering
surgery. I can take th muscle from an elephant's trunk and fit it
into your penis and you'll never struggle again to get it up.'
The man has no hesitation: 'Fix me up, Doc.'
So he has the operation, no problems - all is great. The day comes
for his first date. Candles, fine wine, a beautiful woman across the table
all is perfect ,
The man's trousers then start to stir as he begins to get a little
aroused. He feels his penis growing and growing.
Suddenly it breaks through his trousers, grabs the bread from
the table then disappears.
The woman sees this, and with a twinkle in her eye and a
smile forming on her lips asks. 'Can you do that again?'
'Sure,' replies the man, 'but I don't think that I can fit
another bread roll up my arse!

A panda is walking down the street when he bumps into a prostitute.
'Fancy a quickie?' asks the woman.
'Why not,' says the panda. So they go to the prostitute's flat and have
great sex. When it's all over, the panda get up to leave. The woman stop him.
'Where do you think you're going?' she asks.
'Home,' says the panda.
'But I want paying,' says the woman.
'Why?' asks the panda.
'Because I'm a prostitute,' says the woman. The panda confused by this.
'What's a prostitute?' he asks.
The woman throws him a dictionary.
The panda looks up 'prostitute' and sees the definition,
'a woman who performs sexual favours in return for money.'
The panda throws the dictionary back to the woman as he walks out of the door,
telling her to look up the definition of 'panda'.
She does. It reads, 'Panda - eats shoots and leaves.'
[b][/b]

Amen, I claim it in Jesus Name. Thanks Big Bros.

Anybody that need the form can download the form on  this website, www.nigerianairforce.net/mc.htm. I tried to attached the form but it is too heavy.

Thanks Bros,
It is real that Arik Airline is recruiting, it is easy just cpy and paste this link www.arikair.com and check on their career.

Thanks Bros,
The problem is we that are living in this country, we try to discriminate what not suppose to be, let me ask this question: Is it not the same NYSC that graduates for polytechnics and universities work with for their service year? The problem is this country, and I pray that thing get in order before it gets too late. If you hold NCE certificate, you will have an automatic enployment into teaching line. What are the hope of HND graduates?