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Should I End This Relationship. / How Virginity Almost Destroyed My Marriage - Thanks To Nlanders / Twice Unfaithful And Lazy Husband: Should I End This Marriage? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Should I End My Marriage by xyloxloto(m): 3:25pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
@8ogoegbunam honestly lets call a spade a spade and stop going round in circles in terms of advice i think you should DIVORCE her, you go your own way and let her go her own way , forget about trying to to console yourself with dat e go better phrase OR you will try and bend her to your will bros it wont work you will only end up getting your fingers burnt and you end up becoming misrable , for the fact that you dont trust her is enough to part ways . |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Kobojunkie: 3:26pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
8ogoegbunam: I am not seeking for straws to use in dumping her.the only issue that will make me dump my wife is adultery apart from the issue at hand. Even at that I can forgive my wife if I receive assurance that it will not repeat itself. Are you sure? Cause the topic of this thread is "Should I End this Marriage?". You suggest here that there are other reasons for why you would want to dump her. By the way, you mention she is 36, but you forgot to mention your age. Why is that? You did know she would be 36 at this time, before you married her, right? 1 Like |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by realmscape: 3:29pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
One chance... Sorry |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by KINGwax(m): 3:38pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
shaybe baby:what da fucck are u or every other hypocrites crying that u thought is making sense? We're talkin of a woman who deceived a man to marry her jes because she's fuckin desperate. She knws from the onset that it's deceit and she gladly played the guy. The fucck of the matter aint even the church thing, she's desperate to marry, how d fucck do u think she loves u anyway? Of course the priest can't marry her, there's no big deal if they keep fuckin while u are the dummy. Divorce the idiott! 2 Likes |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by tishat(f): 3:38pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
@poster:you are just getting worked up For nothing! the bible says work out YOUR salvation with fear and trembling{not your spouse salvation}secondly you have no issue because she is a Christain also or is God in Anglican and not in catholic? Let's stop been religious but Christ-like!as for your children all they need is to know Christ and as they grow they will choose their path. May God give you more wisdom.Amen 1 Like |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by fesdo(m): 3:47pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Bro....take a bow ..... Agreement is agreement 1 Like |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by mhozzis(m): 3:49pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
I couldn't read most of the comments cus they are too long. THIS IS A PIECE OF ADVICE TO INTENDING COUPLES NEVER SAY I'LL CHANGE HIM/HER WHEN WE ARE MARRIED, YOU CANT. YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED NAIRALANDERS OR YOUSELF THIS QUESTION BEFORE THINKING OF MARRIAGE. 1 Like |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by kaytytty: 3:53pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
na wa o so even in christianity you still ve difference in faith but am sure those involved in this re igbos they find it so difficult to tolerate even within thier own religion.one religion many faith 2 Likes |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Nobody: 3:53pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
8ogoegbunam: Religious belief is a major factor in marriage. If I had known that she will turn out this way, I would not have married herIf religious belief is a major factor, you shouldn't have married her in the first place. You don't base a critical decision such as marriage on mere promise BUT FIRM COMMITMENT. This tells me that your basis/bases for marrying her is/are faulty. If you are born again, divorce is out of question. You must find a way to sort issues out. Commit it to God in prayer. And also give it time. Learn the virtue of PATIENCE. Marriage is a life long commitment and you must be patient for her to change. Let her see reasons, try and persuade her. Preach to her and most importantly pray. Lastly, I believe you should be more concerned about her spiritual health or standing with God and not just church affliations. She could even start going to Anglican church but still retains catholic church beliefs. I believe church affliations are superficial. Be much more concerned about her soul, except if you yourself are not totally renewed in Christ. Let her see the light in Christ in the Anglican church. Don't be dogmatic about Anglican church, except you practise 'churchianity' and not christianity. Like I earlier said, NO to divorce. 5 Likes |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by dukila: 3:59pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Pls What is d difference between catholic and Anglican? ![]() |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by SamMilla1(m): 4:06pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Op grow up. Dont make this a big deal. 1 Like |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Sunofgod(m): 4:07pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
8ogoegbunam: I got married early this year. My wife is a sweet lady,loving and caring lady.The only major problem we face in our young union is religoius issues. I was brought up in the anglican faith while she grew up a catholic. She promised me that she will attend attend the same church with me once we got married, her only condition is that I should wed her in the catholic church. Amidst great opposition from my parents who were against it initially on the basis of religion, I fullfilled my promise to her by holding our wedding in the catholic church. Not even a year into marriage and your being played like this? The bottom line is your wife is deceptive. She's clearly decieved you and who knows what else she's playing you at. From what you've stated she also seems stubborn and has an agenda. So you have only two options: !) Begin divorce proceedings or get the marriage annuled. 2) Get used to a married life of misery and torment. (Maybe lasting 40/50 years) 2 Likes |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by silibaba: 4:12pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
i have read between the lines of your story and can only conclude that you are not yet mature for marriage ![]() ![]() ![]() 8ogoegbunam: I got married early this year. My wife is a sweet lady,loving and caring lady.The only major problem we face in our young union is religoius issues. I was brought up in the anglican faith while she grew up a catholic. She promised me that she will attend attend the same church with me once we got married, her only condition is that I should wed her in the catholic church. Amidst great opposition from my parents who were against it initially on the basis of religion, I fullfilled my promise to her by holding our wedding in the catholic church. |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by victorian(f): 4:12pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
@op, u r honestly not serious. So , because u r anglican and she is catholic, will then create basis for divorce? ![]() ![]() You have a peaceful home and you are not satisfied because of church?, na wa... I have a female friend, she use to date a pentecostal guy, while she is catholic. She breaks up with the guy because he is not willing to change to her church. She bluntly told the guy to move on with another girl, so she can marry a catholic guy. 5yrs gone. she is still waiting for the catholic guy that fits her heart desire. But none could be like her ex boyfriend, she contacted him recently, that she is now ready to marry him irrespective of their different church and that she had not found true and peaceful love like his when they use to be together. She cried that day, begging him to reconcile that she is sorry, but the fyne guy has moved on with another cute babe. She always blames herself for letting him go..... so poster, appreciate what u have and focus on serving God, not Church. |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by okeymadu(m): 4:14pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
@OP. I didn't read most of the post any ways little advise: this goes beyong being Catholic or Anglican. Your wife doesn't respect you and the earlier you put your foot down and take a firm decision the better for you. If by next Sunday she refuses to attend Anglican with you, I suggest you begin to make plans for a "new life" as this marriage won't take you anywhere and will wreck you. She indeed deceived you. Perhaps, for your information, she still dey shine that "father". Goodluck! 3 Likes |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Siga: 4:15pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Bros....I have a similar problem as you ....my wife no dey go church with me when i go....I have asked and persuaded her to go with me but she refuses....but I'm not gonna divorce her cos of that....no bloody way....all i can do is keep praying and to me....she is more of a saint than me sef....so leave matter bros... |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by lavita2(f): 4:15pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
she's 36 and you still chook head. ha! ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by 8ogoegbunam(m): 4:15pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Sorry ,maybe I am conservative. That is my choice. My main grouse is the deceit, I was repeatedly assured by my spouse while we were dating that she will fellow me to Anglican. 1 Like |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by 8ogoegbunam(m): 4:21pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
I am not against any religion, most of the people I admire are not even christians nor anglicans.I fullfilled all the promises I made to her, why can't she keep the promise she made to me. 1 Like |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by babaijesha: 4:24pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Pls pack her load and drop them in her fathers house. When she is ready to listen to u, she shld cme back.u can only ve one master in house. Shikena 1 Like |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by otunbanuel: 4:24pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Young man,Divorce is a sin..U need to learn how to live with her...keep praying for her |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by redsun(m): 4:26pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Marriage no bi force.If you don't like it,you don't have to do it,irrespective of anything. It feels like you are in bondage of yourself. |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by mykejones(m): 4:26pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Desperate times calls for desperate measures. She is 36,and if she doesn't fit the definatn of someone who was desperate to get married at all COST,then nobody is. The cost here is deceit. She knew right from onset she wasn't going to ball with you..but she jus had to get married. I also believe this wifey of ur's is older..just an observatn. Advice: It is not enough cause for divorce. The Bible,which i believe you know,gave you the ONLY reason u might want to consider a divorce. And until such arrises,live a Christ-Like life,as in,be a Christian..the full defination of it and you might be able to get her into your anglican fold. Goodluck sire! |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by toptop: 4:28pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
It is easier to build a child than to repair a man. You made the mistake of marrying a 36 years old lady. You cannot bend her again. If she were in her 20s, then it would have been easier. Please live with it and continue to pray to God for peace in your home and fruit of the womb. |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Kobojunkie: 4:29pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
@Poster, notice the many ignorant comments that SURROUND her age. You knew how old she was before you married her. Now you make an issue of it. Is that love from your end? 2 Likes |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Nobody: 4:29pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
8ogoegbunam: I got married early this year. My wife is a sweet lady,loving and caring lady.The only major problem we face in our young union is religoius issues. I was brought up in the anglican faith while she grew up a catholic. She promised me that she will attend attend the same church with me once we got married, her only condition is that I should wed her in the catholic church. Amidst great opposition from my parents who were against it initially on the basis of religion, I fullfilled my promise to her by holding our wedding in the catholic church. [b]I have never seen a country where the women are overly obsessed with their clergies as Nigeria. I can tell you that 80% of these women are sleeping with them; yes I am very confident about this. All five cases we had investigated for married men, came out as legit with factual and well documented encounters. These men were surprised and couldn't believe it. A WOMAN WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER AGREE TO AN AFFAIR UNLESS SHE IS CAUGHT IN THE ACT OR SHE DECIDES TO TELL YOU WHEN SHE THINK IT'S RIGHT...AFTER SHE HAS BEEN MARRIED TO YOU FOR 10 YRS AND WITH 4 KIDS. WHAT COULD YOU DO? THROW HER OUT WITH 4 KIDS? HER FRIEND COULD BE AWARE OF THIS AND WILL NEVER TELL. The greatest fantasy 99.99999999999999% of women have is to sleep with their clergies! This is a woman thing, don't ask me as I am a guy. RELIGION IS THE BIGGEST FARCE EVER KNOWN TO MANKIND! Embrace spirituality and you be happy in your life! Now to address your problem more specifically, the only solution to your problem is if you both leave your churches and attend a church that is not a Catholic or Anglican...Problem solved. If she refuses this, my guy divorce her immediately, nonsense! There is something (a priest) in that catholic church that is keeping her from parting ways with it [/b] |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Angel778(f): 4:30pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
kaytytty: na wa o so even in christianity you still ve difference in faith but am sure those involved in this re igbos they find it so difficult to tolerate even within thier own religion.one religion many faithWhy did u bring tribe into this, do you want to start anoder tribal war here? |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Nobody: 4:33pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
U honestly think d best thing fōя U̶̲̥̅̊я marriage is to advertise U̶̲̥̅̊я issues on Nairaland? Sort U̶̲̥̅̊я family out jor. 1 Like |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Nobody: 4:35pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
@kaytytty U̶̲̥̅̊я stoopidity & bigotry have been well noted. U can go back to Yaba now |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by pendo89(f): 4:36pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Why do people marry hoping that they will change their partner's beliefs? These are things to iron out before you say I do. It's really sad to note how religious affiliations can cause a marriage to break.Seems like you have your mind made up. That your wife is a tough woman.She is not converting to salvage this marriage, but again at 36, just married and with no kids she's at a cross road. It's up to you.If you make religion a big issue here, then that's your problem since you have described her earlier as a great and lovely lady. What if you dump her for an anglican one,then she ends up giving you hell in marriage.What grounds will you use to dump her? Cruelty? You could turn into a serial divorcee. Weigh both options and pick the one with less disastrous consequences.I see no big deal in 'religion', otherwise tell me which religion Jesus followed. |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by johpeace: 4:36pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
My dear friend, I feel for you and sympathize with you over what you are passing through in your marriage. However,I think 2 of you need to talk it over and not fight over it First there isnt much difference b/w both churches except in the EUCHARIST.So there is nothing wrong in attending hers sometimes.In fact by attending hers you wld get to knw more abt ds Rev.Fr and d secret r/shp b4 u tek a rash decision.This does not mean u wont use ur own denomination as the main one,after all,its d same God,the same Our Lord Jesus we worship. Agen,if u guys are not in peace and clear mental state,conception may be difficult as she is quite ageing.So my friend,be gentle with her and show her love and be in control of your family. From the tone of ur story,u may hv married a stubborn and tough woman and u are kind of gentle.So pls mek ds marriage work and dont consider divorce cos most marriages face similar challenges in d first five years. Pls pray over it and dont tek rash decisions now. God will mek it work. |
Re: Should I End My Marriage by Exponental(m): 4:37pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
Report her to a reverend father, she will be called to order. Betterstill, let ur reverend meet her reverend n let them know d risk d woman is imposing on d marriage. |
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