Okija_juju: So because you have a job and contribute to the household funds, you and your husband are now mates abi?!

Thats why you wont cook or clean the house abi?!

Thats why you cant run him a bath or do his laundry?!

What kind of life is this sef?!

afam4eva:
Pounding yam is even a worst case scenario but it's just a pointer to how ladies will look the other way cos African culture does not benefit them.

Vikin:

The reason most men are here talking about tradition and all, it's because it really favour's them.

afam4eva:
But you see, our mothers and grandmother never complained about doing these things. Girls of nowadays are just lazy.

jennykadry: Why should I pound yam to show my husband that I Am "submissive"? If i break my "back" in the process what will I tell the A&E doctor when I go there? Which kain adult abuse is that one? so the people that make the powder form of poundo for easy turning are stoopid abi? Oh yes they are.

POUNDO!!!!!!!!!












[size=18pt]TUFIAKWA.... [/size]

slimyem: Are you saying my husband isn't supposed to be my mate?
He isn't also supposed to be my friend and companion?
What's he supposed to be then?
My god?
Of course i can do all of that but what stops him from running his own bath while i do the cooking?
What are his hands for?
Flipping channels on tv while i slave round the house for him after having an equally stressfull day trying to support the family?

What kind of life is this sef?![/b]You can't have it all man.
You want an 100 percent traditional woman,go to your village!
You want a middle point,make compromises and adjust!
Simple!

Okija_juju:


Your husband is not your mate...

Because say ehn dey follow you play no mean say una be mate.. Infact, open your bible with me to the book of I Corrinthian 11: 3 'Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. _refer..

He may be your companion, but God has given you duties that you are OBLIGATED to perform towards your man.. Now the decision for you not to do these duties rest solely with your husbands and not with you women. I see so many single girls talking shiit about not being slaves to any man. FRIST MISTAKE is that they already consider these tasks a slave labor, which is what we men have a problem with. You women want a man that will provide everything for you (as the bread winner), yet you dont want to perform your own duties.. This has nothing to do with being an Mgbeke.

We men have really suffered..

ferhyntorlah:

Na wa oh! How many times will Nairaland moderators ban you? From Blazay to Calloti(or is it Callota, that wicked woman in el nombre del amor) to Jellita to Gambrosia.

Moderators, you've got someone who's ready for you guys.

jennykadry: Why should I pound yam to show my husband that I Am "submissive"? If i break my "back" in the process what will I tell the A&E doctor when I go there? Which kain adult abuse is that one? so the people that make the powder form of poundo for easy turning are stoopid abi? Oh yes they are.

If you want pounded yam please find yourself a pestle and mortar and pound away, do not involve me, I repeat, do not involve me

centje: in igbo tradition,pounding of yam is a male job.

You must be from Imo State...

Okija_juju: [b]AFAM!! Tradition is dead....


Lets be honest men, the number of girls that still carry our core traditional values have diminished quite alot. This 'women ;iberation/empowerment' has made girls with traditional values an endangered specie. Sending our daughters abroad to school thereby exposing them to the western culture and way of life hasnt helped matters either. It has even eaten into the way marriages are contracted. Whats left is for girls to wear (western) wedding gowns for their traditional weddings.

All our ladies today want to do is simply go shopping, look fly, do their hair and nails, fly first class to fancy destinations and party. Simply put, they all want to be beyonce.. You can date a girl for 5 years and in those 5 years, she will barely talk about raising up kids and how she intends to raise them. Ask for what they call cooking today, my brother it is pitiful. Thats why Househelps and Nannys now have companies that they work for. I visited my friend who is a newly wed and they already had a live in househelp (Barely 4 months into the marriage). I broke up with many dames because I realized that beyond the fake hair, tight jeans and push-up bras, they had absolutely nothing else to offer. A girl sleeps and wakes up and the next thing she is sitting in the living room watching DSTV. By 7:30am, whilst I am busy prepping to go to work. Couldnt even make simple coffee for me or straighten the bed. I am very traditional. I want a woman that can cook, clean my house, handle certain small household business like restock the shelves, restock my toileteries, re-stock my fridge, iron clothes e.t.c. Even if I say okay babe, dont stress yourself about XYZ, its important to know that she can do them.. Most of our girls want to live the Kim Kardashian lifestyle.

Well, while I am lashing out at the women, I will also blame the guys.. Traditional girls still abound. They just dont always come in the most fanciest of wrappings. being a slut sells better and faster than being a lady. So most girls have also stopped looking for traditional men and now want the magazine cover guys. 21st century compliant guys.

Meanwhile.. I learnt of a Lady who started dating this guy. That as soon as she came into his life, she started acting like a wife. She would pick out his clothes, buy and replace his socks (if they are torn), replace his underwears and boxers (Stuff that most guys tend to always forget to do), cook meals for him to come back from work to, bring him surprise (home cooked) lunch at work, buy and replace things like toilet rolls, bathing sponge and soap, deodorant, perfumes, e.t.c whilst keeping his house clean. When the guy gave her a key to his flat, he didnt know.. They were married after barely a year of courting. The guy became so dependent of her it was almost like she had used juju on him. MEANWHILE.. This babe schooled in Jand o!! MSc. holder.


I guess it is what it is.. I cannot date a girl with no traditional values for any reason other than sex.. _{Thank God I found one of the last few good girls in Nigeria for my wife...} [/b]

kulyie: as much as i like living the good life,globe trotting,partying,going for red carpet events and looking good.i can boast of myself that i am a modern day nigerian lady in her mid twenties and i am not in anyway domestically lazy.cooking is a hobby for me,washing clothes and dishes is another thing i enjoy doing.no matter how piled up the clothes are,just give me an hour,a stool,buckets and water,it will be washed and spread in the wire.thanks to my mom she always made us do house chores till i fell in love with them,the problem is that when you are doing this consisty for a guy you are dating,they start taking you for granted,at the end of the day sef you might not get married.i remember when i was an undergraduate some years back i was in four hundred level then use to go to my boyfriends house many weekends.i will wash his dishes,cook and leave them in his freezer,clean his house if need be.i was so much in love with this guy and all.if he had money he sends,if not he doesnt and i accepted since i knew the kind of work he does and one fateful day he called me that he had found a better job,i was so happy for him,we went out to a fastfood restaurant to celebrate,infact my parents knew him and he comes to check on me and all.anyway some months later he called me over the phone that he's sorry he cant continue the relationship,i said did i upset you or something,he said no,he said look,all i want you to know is that i cant continue with the relationship,i'm getting married 2 months time.i didnt know when the phone slipped out of my hands.i was heart broken and after some time,i got over it and moved on.when i told my mom,she was like ehen you too dont cook and clean for him.if you go to his house and he says he is hungry,be looking at him or tell him to go to the eatery.if his house is

kulyie: as much as i like living the good life,globe trotting,partying,going for red carpet events and looking good.i can boast of myself that i am a modern day nigerian lady in her mid twenties and i am not in anyway domestically lazy.cooking is a hobby for me,washing clothes and dishes is another thing i enjoy doing.no matter how piled up the clothes are,just give me an hour,a stool,buckets and water,it will be washed and spread in the wire.thanks to my mom she always made us do house chores till i fell in love with them,the problem is that when you are doing this consisty for a guy you are dating,they start taking you for granted,at the end of the day sef you might not get married.i remember when i was an undergraduate some years back i was in four hundred level then use to go to my boyfriends house many weekends.i will wash his dishes,cook and leave them in his freezer,clean his house if need be.i was so much in love with this guy and all.if he had money he sends,if not he doesnt and i accepted since i knew the kind of work he does and one fateful day he called me that he had found a better job,i was so happy for him,we went out to a fastfood restaurant to celebrate,infact my parents knew him and he comes to check on me and all.anyway some months later he called me over the phone that he's sorry he cant continue the relationship,i said did i upset you or something,he said no,he said look,all i want you to know is that i cant continue with the relationship,i'm getting married 2 months time.i didnt know when the phone slipped out of my hands.i was heart broken and after some time,i got over it and moved on.when i told my mom,she was like ehen you too dont cook and clean for him.if you go to his house and he says he is hungry,be looking at him or tell him to go to the eatery.if his house is

Okija_juju:


Your husband is not your mate...

Because say ehn dey follow you play no mean say una be mate.. Infact, open your bible with me to the book of I Corrinthian 11: 3 'Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. _refer..

He may be your companion, but God has given you duties that you are OBLIGATED to perform towards your man.. Now the decision for you not to do these duties rest solely with your husbands and not with you women. I see so many single girls talking shiit about not being slaves to any man. FRIST MISTAKE is that they already consider these tasks a slave labor, which is what we men have a problem with. You women want a man that will provide everything for you (as the bread winner), yet you dont want to perform your own duties.. This has nothing to do with being an Mgbeke.

We men have really suffered..

Vikin:

Hmmm, my dear, you go soon tire.running your home is not same as working from your parents or boyfriend house. That one hr I will sit to wash clothes, I punch my PC, make some cash for washing machine...you know the rest. All you have to do is throw in you clothes, put some soap...there you go! You watch ur series while the machine wash the tin for you. Why u think say I go school?

Technology has made something's easier, you just have to flow with the wind.

Open ya eyes, those things are necessary to learn but not always applicable. Know where you use ya skills. Na girls like you I dey chop their food when I visit some guys back in those days. When we chop finish, na she go come wash plate.

Just remain good but keep your head up so some Men don't take advantage of you!

kulyie: lol @ traditional men are harmless kitten at home.in the homes of traditional men i have studied,it is a rare priviledge for the man to be at home and it is a big priviledge on the part of the part of the wife for 'our daddy' as they are called by the wife or wives to eat their food.any woman that qustions their decision is tagged as an arrogant woman and should be ready to leave that house.they are lord and masters in that house.as for the kids dont even let me go there.secondly yes,you are right.for you to have your way with any kind of man liberal,conservative or traditional man,a woman has to be humble.however look at the kind of marriages in which women are the best in their fields,buisnesses,careers and are leaders of companies,it is the kind of marriages were the man is liberal,also look at the kind of homes where the man is a traditionalist,the women are pitiable.no time to pursue their career or lives because they are living for the man.i will give a little illustration now.women are likened to flowers,if you continually trample on them,they start degenerating and after some time,wither,but if you wet a flower continually it grows and gets more beautiful and nourished.at the end of the day,the home is beautiful,the kids are happy and the man feels fulfilled. I read and watched a prominent nigerian by the name ibukun awosika,a buisness tycoon,read about her career life and home,then check whether you hear of any prominent woman in nigeria who married a traditionalist.i will stop here

kulyie: lol @ traditional men are harmless kitten at home.in the homes of traditional men i have studied,it is a rare priviledge for the man to be at home and it is a big priviledge on the part of the part of the wife for 'our daddy' as they are called by the wife or wives to eat their food.any woman that qustions their decision is tagged as an arrogant woman and should be ready to leave that house.they are lord and masters in that house.as for the kids dont even let me go there.secondly yes,you are right.for you to have your way with any kind of man liberal,conservative or traditional man,a woman has to be humble.however look at the kind of marriages in which women are the best in their fields,buisnesses,careers and are leaders of companies,it is the kind of marriages were the man is liberal,also look at the kind of homes where the man is a traditionalist,the women are pitiable.no time to pursue their career or lives because they are living for the man.i will give a little illustration now.women are likened to flowers,if you continually trample on them,they start degenerating and after some time,wither,but if you wet a flower continually it grows and gets more beautiful and nourished.at the end of the day,the home is beautiful,the kids are happy and the man feels fulfilled. I read and watched a prominent nigerian by the name ibukun awosika,a buisness tycoon,read about her career life and home,then check whether you hear of any prominent woman in nigeria who married a traditionalist.i will stop here

Beloved1993:

Generalizing much! I'm married to a traditional man that makes my career his number 1 priority. My dad is my mums biggest cheerleader. I think you are confusing traditional with bush.
I'm only 3 yrs younger than my husband and w r in our 20's, so its not like we are old. We have to keep our culture to have something to give our kids especially living abroad, if not what differntiats us from the akatas?
Every traditional man that loves his wife and treats her in high regard

kulyie: men and women are equal in the sight of God,there's nothing like your man is your head,thats nonesense,we are complementary partners.its a matter of do me i do you,scratch my back,i scratch yours

slimyem:
Traditional man that makes his wife's career his number one priotirty?
Doesn't exist!!!

Fa-Fa-Fa-Fowl....

The mistake you are making is thinking that because we are traditional means that we are bush.. I make my wifes career a priority. HOWEVER, she will not slack off on her responsibilities to me as my wife or to my kids as their mother. NEVER!!!

Okija_juju:
Fa-Fa-Fa-Fowl....

The mistake you are making is thinking that because we are traditional means that we are bush.. I make my wifes career a priority. HOWEVER, she will not slack off on her responsibilities to me as my wife or to my kids as their mother. NEVER!!!

Vikin:

Person like you na mouth you get.

The same guy that was crying pounded yam pounded yam, i was shocked to see him pushing the cart in a shopping mall while the wife(then girlfriend) do the picking and droping in cart.

i laugh am tire for office the next day.

Okija_juju:


You are also getting it twisted...

Say I be traditional man no mean say I no go help my Nwa baby.

But the point here is that most of you women here dont see these chores as your responsibility. And thats where the problem lie.

I can go into the market for my wife whilst she does cleans the house or even sleeps sef. However, it has to be because I want to and not because my wife does not know how to do it.

SO do you agree that a womans responsibility in a home is to cook, clean, do the dishes, do the laundry, go shopping, tend o the kids and all other domestic chores/duties?!

Vikin:

Lol! Love is all we need. Your question na carryover be that.

We are the weaker vessel...we should be pampered. Gerrit! Not used as a tool for modern day slavery.

Vikin: If a man expects a woman to be an Angel in his life, he should first create a heaven for her cos Angels don't live in hell!

Okija_juju:

If a woman fails to live up to her responsibilities in the home as a wife, then she shouldnt be surprised when another woman steps in to fill that gap.