Ivynwa:
I mean some humans are so fragile that "rejection" send them into depression.

Winneygirl: DailyNews spoke well.

Decency,humility, focus, these should come frm d heart.

A lot of single ladies pretend 2 be good and a lot of single guys are blind 2 such pretense.

A 'pretending-2-be-good' lady is most times overly nice and friendly 2 U and pple close 2 U e.g. Family members. Then she shows her true negative colour 2 strangers or pple dat probably depend on her 4 one thing or d other.

A lady dat's good will show respect 2 ALL.

I wish guys knew how 2 read facial expressions, tone of voice, body language....

Its so easy 2 seperate d Weeds from d Wheat, and yet so hard...

Ivynwa:




Yeah I agree with that, if you don't like a person you must thank the person for appreciating you enough as to make advances/want to be with you----and as gently as possible let the person down easy without hurting his feelings. If possible still call once in a while and say hello to the person so that it won't be like you turned your back on the person as if the person is nothing, this is especially helpful in a situation when the person feels very disappointed and hurt, your calls and kindness will still help the person get through it.
I mean some humans are so fragile that "rejection" send them into depression.

dagr8:

There is nothing wrong in turning down someone you dont feel anything for...just make sure you dont make the person feel like a loser.
The feelings are meant to be mutual and anything short of that will sooner or later result in heartbreak and frustration.
My dear you got your answer in your hand.


can u explain what u mean by the emboldened part?

Cutejay: what i meant was that some girls try or pretend to love a guy cuz of maybe his money ,good looks etc the guy in question has these xtics but i still dont feel anything for him. I have tried but its not working.

hope you understand me now? Thanks.

Cutejay: One thing about me i dont feel easily no matter how goodlooking, rich or whatever a man is.

chikeorji123: Ok what is the aim of this thread? advicing ur fellow ladies to shine their eyes once it's come to relationship?..

biolabee: Carmelion it will sound like platitudes but be strong
Do not think such thoughts for not one hair on your body falls to the ground without Him knowing
So go back to Him

Dont let anyone get you down
It is well

90% or more of Nigerian guys of today believe that the only reason ladies want to date us, marry us or have anything to do with us is just because they want us to help them financially, materially, employment, academic assistance, physical task, etc, and that's y its hard for real guys to even think of starting up a committed relationship.

Maybe we need a national conference on this- relationship and marriage issues in Nigeria of today. And maybe we need to adopt that South Korean national mass wedding culture and make it a must for every man in his 30yrs maximum to marry or get heavily taxed.

Its getting so out of hand. I have three childhood friends, one has an elder sister, around 37yrs, pretty and working with Arik Air and earning big but no husband. She has cried n hoped n wished to no avail, sighs.

The second is working with NEMA, 35yrs - 36yrs too, not so pretty but goodlooking n single. No guy wants to ever get serious with her, in fact, I had its only married men that comes her way n I suspect she is too pompous maybe cos of her career position n money acquire. D last is pretty, in fact a head accountant at one of d top bank branches n nothing....just too many, almost every Nigerian family now have one female child at 30yrs plus and still single.

Seriously, I am beginning to feel so bad abt this...now I see the need for polygamy, polygamy is part of the solution

and total humility from ladies too. Be realistic with life, make hay while d sun shines. Be friendly with people, smile whenever possible.
And if possible, give ur no wen guys ask n just put up ur guard

so stop thinking that all guys want sex cos sex is d cheapest commodity in the market now.

carmelion: Am better now.Guess it is just one of those days

biolabee:

Good to know << side hug >>

DailyNews: Internet platforms like facebook, nairaland would have also helped to solve this problem but some bad eggs amongst the ladies spoilt it. Guys who have lost passion in relationship n marriage wud have been rekindled through social platforms like this but ladies in the past destroyed it.

Some took internet as an avenue to beg for- recharge cards, virtual school fees, gadgets (phone, laptops, etc), and some messed their friendship with guys online while some act so loose, unfriendly, shabby-mannered to mention but a few.

I know so many guys who said they wud have tried finding spouse online but that majority of ladies found online are unworthy. I am sorry for saying that but that's what most reasonable men I once discussed this internet dating of a thing said. In fact, they concluded that internet is just a place to find a sex-mate, and not a place to find true relationship just becos of the actions of some unworthy girls. Ladies start scolding and condemning ur fellow ladies who do this, stop keeping quiet cos its affecting all of u, and how we guys see u ladies in general. Too bad, but that's d reality.

biolabee:

Traditionally marriage has always been seen as the man providing and helped by the woman
Modern realities are changing this view
Women are bringing more to the table now
Men need a rain check



This is a harebrained scheme at best. Why should you force people to marry by 30s.
It is my prerogative to marry when i want
I may be a misogynistic or prefer my fellow menfolk

The best you can do is to incentivise marriage at this age like its done in UAE.
A one time gift from the govt to help defray wedding expenses





Sad about your sisters but everyone has to live with consequences of their actions or inactions
They may have chosen career over love at some point and were eventually unlucky in love
They may be unattractive or were seen as flirts or may have been in relationship with some no-good man who promised heaven n earth or whatever.....
THE REASON IS POINTLESS

But Now is key
The point is when you leave this earth, what do you want to be remembered for
Ler them live their lives now and cherish everymoment they have to the fullest



This is a controversial issue but I get where you are coming from
women in my opinion are wired not to share.. men also too



You go and spoil it with this
Smiling? How do judge humility in a woman? give you numba to stalkers who will bombard you with calls up and down
No No.. security is important.
many people have lost their lives because the wrong people got hold of their number




You cant blame ladies because there a lot of no-gooders now
Guys want to play from 20s to 30s before they decide to settle
You or your band of bloggers may be an exception but you dont

bukatyne: Hi DailyNews, how are you?

I gathered from one of your posts that you are against men helping their wives do domestic chores.

One of the problems is that a lot of men of marriageable age are not fit for marriage. I cringe when a lot of men talk and I will be like 'this man hopes to marry somebody in future'. Perhaps if men are properly trained, the relationship landscape of Nigeria will be better.

chichi254: @Chamelion dear ur post is so touching. i so much believe that God has a precious someone in stock 4 u.It is beta 2 marry d right person late than 2 marry a wrong person @ 18. The truth is that many so called 'HAPPILY MARRIED' today are living in pain and regret, wishin that they could be b givin a 2nd chance. Some of them only remain in d marriage because of d stigma placed on divorcees. Our God is a master planner. It could be that HE has finished preparin ur own Special One! @Dailynews my dear i keep thankin God 4 gift of special treasures like u. ur posts are so inspirin n motivatin. Keep d fire burning.....

DailyNews:

But then, I only mentioned polygamy becos I am just looking at all possible ways that we can explore in order to reduce the number of ladies willing to marry but can't find a suitable suitor.
Sincerely, we have a very lesser number of eligible bachelors in Nigeria of today. Eligible in- finance, mental maturity, and in fact understanding, but finance is the major factor. So, the few eligible bachelors get hooked to just one woman while other good ladies cry and die lonely, thats really unfair, now I see why most single ladies run after married men, very sad. Nigerian guys should pls do something, strive to come back and make themselves eligible bachelors for the good single ladies pls.
.....

The ladies I used as examples are sisters to my friends and not my own sister @biolabe.

I really feel pity for our ladies, the good ones though, and now I am beginning to wish I could just solve this problem....like a friend would always say- if you pity them truly, marry five, like that, you have reduced the number, and seriously, if it was legal, and acceptable Christian-wise, I wouldn't mind cos this is beginning to worry my like never before. I never knew that ladies do truly desire true companionship from men, carmelion's post today opened my eyes to this and I really feel touched.

DailyNews:





I never knew that ladies do truly desire true companionship from men.

carmelion:

Are you for real?Like seriously? Smh. Please, we do.

DailyNews: Lolz, you caught me on that @bukatyne...and to be honest with you, I am so afraid of house chores ...maybe I was spoilt by my mother when it comes to that...I just love the idea of eating good food cooked by someone I cherish (my lovely mother, sister, and possibly in future, my wife).


I just don't love to touch fish ...can't even eat it if its not fried, and I hate the smell....gosh ...can't see myself helping in those stuff.....lolzzz....sorry to sound weird, but I love saying the truth.

I can help blend anything blendable if there is no football match or something to write or a new game to win ....but I am good in other things by God's grace, so that house chore things, I can't. Do you know that if I cook (I am very good in cooking o, very good, but not in all foods shaa) I can't eat that food...and if I try to, I will end up picking and not eat enough, bad habit you may call it...but that's me.

So whoever I must end up with, must impress me in cooking and keeping the house in order by all means (with a paid maid or cleaner, whichever, but no paid cook of chef ).

chichi254: Hi house. Nice 2 be here again. ur contributions are all awesom. I think its time 2 share my own experience. I alwz hav dis fear dat guys are cheats and deceitful. as a result, i find it dificult 2 beliv it whenevr a guys communicates luv 2 me. its nos as if i hav been heartbroken in d past, but because of stuffs i hav heard and peopls experiences. i hav a very fragile emotions that may not stand being toiled wit. In fact, several occasions i hav tried 2 convince myself that i can take d risk but @ d end of d way i wouldn't. Even if i care abt a guy that approached me, i would feel that reciprocatin would make him 2 take me 4 granted. ONCe this happens, i would dismiss him, mainly because i wouldnt want 2 be emotionally attached 2 him lest he hurt me
Early last yr, i was introduced 2 dis guy whom i hav nevr met physically though hav seen his pix. As we strted communicatin on phone my mind just told me dt i can trust him wit my hrt. That made 2 become very free n open 2 him. I think he is open 2 me as well. But then i found out dat it seems as if i'm d only only dat pushin d relationship. Any small thin he would stop callin until i call. Ealy this yr, sth happend and he stoped callin again. I too decided not 2 call him and 4 d past 2 months we hav not spoken. Infact, sometimes i wonder who i can trust. pls i wish 2 be advised.

carmelion:

Are you for real?Like seriously? Smh. Please, we do.

biolabee:

Interestin i am learning

carmelion:
Some times this spirit overwhelms me and all I feel is .”To hellllllllllllll with this thing called marriage, I am so done with these people called men.

Why can’t I just live my life? Get more certificates, upgrade myself, work hard, make money , adopt kids in my fathers name?( hmmm…let this man catch me first) and remain single!!!. Sex ?. Whatever happened to dildos in the stores?. I mean is it not better than the brain injury someone goes through all because you are in love with someone whom you re not even sure of his own love?. May be I was just thinking my age,

DailyNews:

Maybe we need a national conference on this- relationship and marriage issues in Nigeria of today. And maybe we need to adopt that South Korean national mass wedding culture and make it a must for every man in his 30yrs maximum to marry or get heavily taxed.

dagr8:
Hey carmy doll...don't be too hard on yourself.
You just got to be positive..i mean think positive...and be patient as well.
Am happy you said u are better now...
Believe me no more emotional pain for you.Just be positive and confident as well , throw that thing called fear out thru the window and gently open the door to that true love coming your way.


Hmmmm...I dont c that as a solution o.
"Forcing" people into a responsible institution as marriage, will only result in more heartache.

DailyNews: and if you don't wish to marry, then stop deceiving the ladies and stay clear, if at all you can't hold your randy-moods, [b]then visit the brothels [/b]and thats it

chichi254:
Early last yr, i was introduced 2 dis guy whom i hav nevr met physically though hav seen his pix. As we strted communicatin on phone my mind just told me dt i can trust him wit my hrt. That made 2 become very free n open 2 him. I think he is open 2 me as well. But then i found out dat it seems as if i'm d only only dat pushin d relationship. Any small thin he would stop callin until i call. Ealy this yr, sth happend and he stoped callin again. I too decided not 2 call him and 4 d past 2 months we hav not spoken. Infact, sometimes i wonder who i can trust. pls i wish 2 be advised.