Ishilove: Ishiloveathon

Peace.

BTW, how do we pronounce the above.. 'ISHI LOVE A TURN' or ' ISHI LOVE A TONNE'.. U're one lover girl.. Make una no fight sha ~just wondering~

blue eyes1: Whts all the hullabaloo for sef? E neva do?haba,wetin? Bros Chinua say if u no like person story,go write your own o. Una jst turn d thread to debating society.

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I tire o!!! Is this why we are here?

ok how about this for criticism. As a writer or an entertainer in general you gotta connect to your audience. Ishi nylon bag thread started before Flow's but she ain't got up to half of the views flow's thread has. So forget the professional critic cause even if he says yes and the masses ain't buying it, it just don't mean a thing.

Anyi.:
ok how about this for criticism. As a writer or an entertainer in general you gotta connect to your audience. Ishi nylon bag thread started before Flow's but she ain't got up to half of the views flow's thread has. So forget the professional critic cause even if he says yes and the masses ain't buying it, it just don't mean a thing.

exactly wat i'm tinking,JEALOUSLY,only flow nd mazi are d writers dat their threads are trending...who send her slf.....
@ishilove,3 words
GO HUG TRANSFORMER

My dearest Flow, stop replying ur dejected and unscrupulous critics who actually think they've attained the pinnacle reserved for renouned writers (only on NL ooo, so sure they cant even go pro) mtchwww.
Next time when they spill their rubbish, just turn a blind eye and update series of thrilling, entertaining and hilarious stuffs.

Some say SILENCE is golden but i say its the best answer for . . .!!(not only for big FOOLS but also stupendous ignoramus(es)

What really matters is that u put smiles on so many cavities and ur ever growing and stupendous fan base appreciate and recognise ur efforts in trying so hard to put smiles on their faces even though it aint ur business. Mehnnnn u aint even paid for the writeup but i bet sooner than later an appreciative mind someplace will grease ur pockets. FLOW on bro. I smell an avalanche of ecstatic updates.

Wots going on here

"Flow make we go Ade salon, i wan go ask am how many of the necklace wey him don sell, u know say since i give am the Necklace i never collect any money for him hand" Man said the following evening as we sat outside.

"make we go, i wan barb my hair sef" Brainbox said. "me i wan sell one phone for Ade" Bigie said.


I, Man, Brainbox and Bigie were off to Ade's barber's shop. What we never knew was that someone would be arrested by the Police that evening. An arrest i saw coming.

"I know say Ade go don sell plenty necklace for me" Man Joyously said as we walked towards Ade's shop.

"Bigie where the phone wey you wan sell for Ade?" I asked Bigie. "see am here" He brought out a fine Camera phone that i guessed could be worth 25k.

"Bad boy!! where you thief this one from na?" Man said, "you dey mad, na ur papa be thief, u don ever catch me dey thief before?" Bigie replied.

Come to think of it, Bigie said the truth, he had never been caught red handed before. He was as swift as the wind. That goes a long way to explain the Pidgin English adage that says: "all of us dey take meat for our Mama pot, but na person wey dem catch nahim be thief".


We got to Ade's Barber's Shop to meet the shop scanty, "Ade why ur shop dey like dis na, you wan travel?" Bigie asked. "no oh, i no wan travel, only say things hard, market bad" Ade complained. "ehnn, i bring market come for you sef, na dis phone, i wan sell am" Bigie handed the phone over to Ade. Ade looked keenly at the phone and asked, "How much?". "okay Bring 17k" Bigie said, "na 13k i go give you for this phone" Ade replied. "okay just add 1k wey i go use buy beer for my guys" Bigie concluded.

Ade collected the phone, put it into his pocket and said, "wait make i barb dis person finish, i go pay you half of the money for the phone".

"Me and Flow sef wan barb oh" Brainbox informed Ade.

"Ade how far? How many necklace you don sell?" Man asked. "i never sell anything oh, the necklace no dey move market, i go give you back sef" Ade replied. As Ade said that, i saw that Man's formerly joyous look suddenly turned pale. As if he just drank a cup of urine.

Soon, it was Brainbox's turn to have his hair cut. Althrough, i noticed Brainbox eyes were focused at Ade's Money drawer that was partially open.

Next, it was my turn to have my hair cut. As i sat down and Ade started cutting my hair, i took a glimpse at the open drawer to see that Money was flowing like a river in it. Little wonder Brainbox constantly focused at the drawer. But i knew no matter how long Brainbox admired the money, he dared not try stealing them, unless he wanted the fetishistic Ade to turn him to a Goat or a tuber of Yam.

Ade was in the business of miraculously turning those that came to steal money or phones from his shop to either a Goat or a tuber of Yam, depending on which would be best for the person. As for Brainbox, a Goat would be best for him, considering the fact that his gootee gave him a He-Goat look. But one thing was sure, the same Ade that turned someone into a Goat or a tuber of Yam, was the same Ade that would reverse the action.


Ade had gone half way cutting my hair when Judgement day came.

Plural of Ekelebe is Elelebes.

So many Ekelebes stormed the shop.

I felt my heart melting.

"if you move, I shot!!" One of the Policemen brought everybody to a standstill.

"Adewale, you are under arrest for having a hand in the murder of Chief Ogbonna, you have the right to remain silent as anything you say or do will be used against you in the court of law" A Policeman quoted.

One of the Policemen handcuffed Ade.

"Are you all his friends?" A Policeman asked. "no oh!!" We all chorused. "no oh, since wey my Mama born me, na today be the first day wey i dey enter dis barbing salon" Man said fidgety.

I saw from the corner of my eyes that Brainbox drew closer to Ade's Money drawer. Since i knew what Brainbox was capable of, i concluded that all the money in the drawer were as good as gone.

"All of you leave this shop now, the shop will be locked" One of the Policemen ordered. "but Officer, Ade never barb my hair finish na" I almost said.

I looked at myself in the Mirror, a beast looked back at me. I looked more like Papa Ajasco.


As the shop was locked by one of the Policemen, i cried bitterly because of my funny haircut. "i no fit go house with dis r'ubbish rat chop haircut oh" I said to myself.

"Rat chop" indeed, it really looked like where Rats feasted. I never knew my problem was the least compared to the problems of my friends.

As the Police van zoomed off, i heard, "yeeeeeeh!! my phone dey with Ade and them don arrest am", That was Bigie.

"yeeeeeeh!! All my Necklace dey inside the shop", That was Man.

An Evening too many.

I looked at myself in the Mirror, a beast looked back at me. I looked more like Papa Ajasco.

Foxy_Ultimate: I looked at myself in the Mirror, a beast looked back at me. I looked more like Papa Ajasco.

shey u tie wrapper and shaved ur middle hair?

Rap maestro: shey u tie wrapper and shaved ur middle hair?

You no sabi read story na... Na one part I quote from the story o... The part make me burst into laughter wella....



[size=20pt]21. Always post in proper English. The use of correct spelling, grammar and punctuation is compulsory[/size]

Foxy_Ultimate:

You no sabi read story na... Na one part I quote from the story o... The part make me burst into laughter wella....



[size=20pt]21. Always post in proper English. The use of correct spelling, grammar and punctuation is compulsory[/size]

shebi them don warn you about bold font.

Them go ban you oh. Or so i tot.

flow1759:

shebi them don warn you about bold font.

Them go ban you oh. Or so i tot.

You mean this rule?

[size=30pt]11. Don't create distracting posts e.g. posts in giant fonts or ALL CAPS or with silly gifs[/size]

Foxy_Ultimate:

You mean this rule?

[size=30pt]11. Don't create distracting posts e.g. posts in giant fonts or ALL CAPS or with silly gifs[/size]

You stubborn no be small.

[size=30pt] mayb u don't know foxy is immune 2 ban[/size] but make brainbox give him padi some money,so that them no go cry again, shebi him don pake ade finish.

Foxy_Ultimate:


[size=20pt]21. Always post in proper English. The use of correct spelling, grammar and punctuation is compulsory[/size]

shebi JAMB no want make we enter school na, wu go 'tish' me english biko?
>
I'm sowi Seun but the rule is somehow

Lwkmd, papa ajasco indeed

Entertaining as usual. Flow, na u we know!!! (Make dem no ban me for the improper use of pidgin)

Waiting for more updates. . .

Mazi_Omenuko: Entertaining as usual. Flow, na u we know!!! (Make dem no ban me for the improper use of pidgin)

Waiting for more updates. . .

See who commented. Mr Cassanova himself.

My Oga at the top.

Mazi_Omenuko: Entertaining as usual. Flow, na u we know!!! (Make dem no ban me for the improper use of pidgin)

Waiting for more updates. . .

mazi abeg you don start your new thread. Legend of d fuckerss

nice write-up following your story closely,pls ignore the silly comments and make us proud(ex-commando)

I don dey watch d fight bt my Popcorn don finish Ishi u ar nt in flows level no beefing.Jst dat ur writeup is 1 way*Sowi bt u fink 2 narrow minded*i cnt even remeba half of d ppl in ur Iyawo Nylon Bag........And check ur views afta mazi d nxt is flow wif d highest views jst my own...........Make i go buy popcorn make i see as dem go Yab nd praise me

adeswags dmj: I don dey watch d fight bt my Popcorn don finish Ishi u ar nt in flows level no beefing.Jst dat ur writeup is 1 way*Sowi bt u fink 2 narrow minded*i cnt even remeba half of d ppl in ur Iyawo Nylon Bag........And check ur views afta mazi d nxt is flow wif d highest views jst my own...........Make i go buy popcorn make i see as dem go Yab nd praise me

2. Don't abuse, bully, deliberately insult/provoke, fight or wish harm to any Nairaland Member
>
bewarned

"Brainbox who give you laptop wey you carry?" Man asked. I had totally forgotten Brainbox was with us. I turned toward Brainbox to see that he was holding a very beautiful HP laptop.

"shebi una dey fear Police, me i just carry this laptop for Ade shop, dem the police think say na my laptop wey i dey charge, even sef all the money wey dey Ade shop, i don pack all of them" Brainbox said tapping his pocket lightly.

I noticed how his pocket bulged, with my mouth ajar, I concluded that the money in his both pockets would be enough for each of us to get atleast 5k as tip.

"Brainbox! Brainbox!! Brainbox!!!" we all cheered.
"Brainbox!! But how this boy take thief this kin plenty money, com thief laptop sef, and those Ekelebe no see am" I tot.

If Brainbox were to be in the era of the Notorious robber Lawrence Anini, he would had given Anini a run for his money. Or so i tot.

The sorrows that was formerly read on the faces of Man and Bigie suddenly turned Joy.

"make we enter one beer parlour make i give una una share of the money" Brainbox said.


We got to a Beer parlour to see someone i never expected we would see there. Kate.

Kate and her s'ugar daddy. Non other than the owner of the Block Industry and cement depot close to our site, Chief Levinus.

Very stingy Chief Levinus. He owes his workers salary arrears and still yells at them. He is the perfect description of "Aka gum". Aka gum means a hand that hardly gives. Little wonder Madam Ifeoma said over her dead body for her to buy cement from his cement depot. He was also a cheat.

We never bothered to say hello to them, because we no wan fall our hand..

We sat down and Brainbox immediately started sharing the money.

We all got 4,500naira each, while Brainbox had about 10k to himself, in addition to the Laptop.

To me, the money was shared perfectly, after all it was an L101 and not an L104. We drank a bottle of beer each, paid and left.

"thank God for this money wey Brainbox give me oh, i go go give Tupac, and i go give am the remaining necklace wey dey with me, i go tell am say i no dey do the busness again, say any money wey i owe am make him calculate am, i go dey pay am small small if we start kponkpon work" Man stated.

When i was saying i had saved enough money from the Jewelleries business than from Kponkponeries business, Man's was saying the opposite.

Man preffered Kponkponeries business to Jewelleries business, i could tell. Well, like they say; "one Man's meat is another Man's poison", or better still; "one Man's meat is another Flow's poison".


We got home to meet a full house, including MOG.

"ehen we have been waiting for you guys" Pkc said. "hope no problem Pkc?" I was surprised.

"no problem, seat down, we just need to talk about something important" Pkc said. "if na house rent una want make we contribute money, i no get money oh, after all e remain 6months wey i go stay here" I tot as i sat down.

"you see, we are brothers, and as brothers, we should do things for our betterment generally and not individually" Pkc begane.

"there is this business idea Baba jay suggested to me few weeks ago, the business is for us to open a barbing salon" Pkc informed.

"how possible is that?" Snoop asked what i wanted asking. "yes it is possible, Baba jay had made inquiries and he will tell us how much it will cost us to start the business" Pkc responded.

"i have prayed over it, and God has approved of the business, so now Baba jay will tell us how much it will cost us and how much each of us is to contribute to the business, we will gain alot from this business i assure you, it is very lucrative" Pkc added. "and one more thing, it is not a must oh, if u are not interested, just back out" Pkc informed.

"Construction and painting of Container: 150,000naira, furnishing of the shop: 35,000naira, buying of other materials in the shop, such as clippers and sound system: 45,000naira" Baba jay read out. "what of Generator na?" Man asked.

"MOG has promised us a Generator" Pkc answered. "what about the rentage of the land we would place the Container?" Tega asked. "we don talk to Haruna, him don tell Landlord, him say make we put the container for near Nkiru shop, free of charge" Baba jay answered.

"so who is in and who is out? If u are in just raise your hand up" Pkc said.

First to raise his hand was Pkc, followed by Baba jay, next was Man, Snoop and Tega raised their hands almost immediately.

I and Brainbox stared at each other for about a minute.

And we finally raised our hands up.


"make una calculate how much wey i go contribute for the business, i wan pay my own now" Brainbox suddenly said as he stood up heading towards the toilet.

I was surprised at the bold steps he took to the Toilet. What i never knew was that the toilet had been his Central Bank lately.

Lol. The brainbox of a guy must be related to Anini

Foxy bro, i wanna ask u a question

[quote author=Madawaki01]exactly wat i'm tinking,JEALOUSLY,only flow nd mazi are d writers dat their threads are trending...who send her slf.....
@ishilove,3 words
GO HUG TRANSFORMER
d number of followership may not be an evidence of quality, timaya has alot of fans than dare but what is he singing? great writing last longer in mind and its only few dt really can different quality & noise

Rap maestro: Foxy bro, i wanna ask u a question

They don ban am. Ban to expire 11th April 2015......hihihihi!

@Auditor0471, so i be Timaya and Ishilove na Dare?

So you are likening me to Timaya because i write in Pidgin?

No wahala.

I still maintain. I am still learning. But one thing for sure, i fit blow the kin grammar wey Ishilove dey blow(even more). But i no want make una dey carry dictionary anytime wey una dey read my story nahim make.

Just because i wrote this story in pidgin English doesn't mean i can't write "matured stories" like you said.

Am simply an all-rounder. Tell Ishilove make she write for pidgin na? I no dey make mouth oh. But am simply saying the fact.

It is well.

STILL I FLOW.

GOLIDIVA:
They don ban am. Ban to expire 11th April 2015......hihihihi!

They there not.

Abeg keep flowing d pidgin

flow1759: @Auditor0471, so i be Timaya and Ishilove na Dare?

So you are likening me to Timaya because i write in Pidgin?

No wahala.

I still maintain. I am still learning. But one thing for sure, i fit blow the kin grammar wey Ishilove dey blow(even more). But i no want make una dey carry dictionary anytime wey una dey read my story nahim make.

Just because i wrote this story in pidgin English doesn't mean i can't write "matured stories" like you said.

Am simply an all-rounder. Tell Ishilove make she write for pidgin na? I no dey make mouth oh. But am simply saying the fact.

It is well.

STILL I FLOW.

He should av said 2face and Dare not timaya. Then the scores would be appropiately settled.