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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Man Wey Dey Reason (554659 Views)
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Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by 4kizo(m): 11:09am On May 11, 2013 |
No update yet |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 2:03pm On May 11, 2013 |
A Lady walked into the compound. Rather a woman walked into the compound. I said so because there are some females that are better called Women than Ladies. What would you call a wrapper tying female? A Lady? Little wonder Fela of blessed memory sang that African women would prefer being called Ladies than Women. The wrinkles all around the face of the Woman or rather Lady reminded me of my grandmum. If the opposite of Catwalk is Elephantwalk. Then she Elephantwalked into the compound with a pale look. For a moment, i looked towards Mama Ejima who was keenly watching the Lady as she walked in. Mehn! How i wished Mama Ejima wasn't married to a boxer, i would had married her. She was my picture perfect dream wife. I could still win her heart. Or so i tot. I could win her heart after beating Papa Ejima in the boxing ring. That would never happen even if the great Mohammed Ali were to be my coach. I was still admiring Mama Ejima when i heard, "graaaaaaagauuuuun", i turned to see that the fine Lexus Jeep was now a shadow of itself. As the Lady dashed into Kate's room, We all wondered who she might be. I noticed Mama Ejima was laughing noisily. "wetin funny wey make this one dey laugh?" I asked myself. Before i could say Wale Adenuga, i saw the Lady dragged Kate outside with Kate wearing just a B'ra and a b'ombshot. Kate was initially pleading with the Lady, but as she saw that we were watching them like a movie, she started yelling and raining abuses on her. If abuses were Rain, then it was raining Cat and Dog. I heard Kate calling the Lady a p''rostitute, when it was clear Kate was the cat's whiskers in the p''rostitution world. At that moment, it dawned on me that the Lady was Chief Levinus's Wife. One thing lead to another, and they started fighting. Baba jay stood to go seperate the fight, but Man dragged him back saying, "wetin concern you, leave them make them fight make we watch jor". Daniel and David that were playing football close to where they were fighting ran towards us, I held Daniel and Man held David. All of a sudden, the Finger or rather the Claws of Chief's wife grabbed and tore Kate's B'ra to reveal her standing B''reast. I saw that coming, because the claws of most ladies are far longer than that of a Cat, or even a Lion. Kids will always be Kids. As David saw Kate's B''reast that stood at attention, he asked Man, "Uncle what is that?". "those are Oranges" Man answered the kid. As Mama Ejima heard that, she yelled at her kids and they ran in. Before i could say Wale Adenuga again, i saw that Kate had reciprocated by tearing Chief's wife blouse and B'ra and exposing her B''reast. Was it a B''reast show? Or was it their plan to entertain us? I asked myself as we were laughing like we were being entertained by Mr Bean. Had David saw Chief's wife b''reast and asked what they were, i would had answered that there were two seeds of Groundnut. They really looked like seeds of Groundnut, the fried one. Chief's wife fumbled as she held her wrapper firmly. My prayer was for her wrapper not to unwrap and expose what i never planned seeing. because i never wanted to see what would cause me a nightmare. Suddenly, Pkc and MOG came out, and Pkc said, "so you guys are here watching them fight?". "Pkc wetin you want make we do na" Man said. As Pkc and MOG ran to seperate the fight, i saw that Tupac joined them. And Tega too. I knew that the reason behind Tupac and Tega joining them to seperate the fight wasn't to seperate the fight per se, but to tap current. Electric current. My eyes swayed to the car, what i saw surprised me. Brainbox was inside the car, while Bigie stood by the door of the car. It instantly dawned on me that they had something up their sleeves. They were L102ing Chief's car. How on earth did Brainbox enter the car? Oh my world!! I recalled that Bigie had told us some days back that he bought this glass cutter that could cut the glass of a car without making a noise. Bigie was measuring up to international standards, you know. I looked keenly and saw that they had cut the glass. Maybe they opened the door from inside by passing their hand through the opening they made. But my question was; wouldn't the glass injure them? Injury was what Brainbox could go through to make money. Afterall they say; "make money or die trying". Within split of a second, they were through with their L102 and they left. I saw Chief Levinus dashed out of Kate's room, entered his car and drove off without even looking at the damages his wife and the L102ers had done to his precious car. My question at that moment was; who informed Chief's wife that he passed the night with Kate's? Maybe there was an informant. Mama Ejima brought a wrapper to cover Chief's wife n'akedness and said, "na a'shawo she be, naso she go dey sleep with people wife". I concluded she was the informant--- abi wetin una think? 4 Likes |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 2:17pm On May 11, 2013 |
"na a'shawo she be, naso she go dey sleep with people WIFE". I know its suppose to be HUSBAND. its not a mistake made by me, but by the person that said it. The thing make us laugh that day. Sotey we come dey think say Kate na L'esbien. If you ask me if Kate was L'esbien, my answer would be, "when we reach there you go know" 1 Like |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by FoxyVista(m): 2:30pm On May 11, 2013 |
flow1759: "na a'shawo she be, naso she go dey sleep with people WIFE". I know its suppose to be HUSBAND. its not a mistake made by me, but by the person that said it. The thing make us laugh that day. Sotey we come dey think say Kate na L'esbien. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by swaggerkid(m): 2:32pm On May 11, 2013 |
lwkmd |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by thurpee(m): 3:13pm On May 11, 2013 |
As David saw Kate's B''reast that stood at attention, he asked Man, "Uncle what is that?". "those are Oranges" Man answered the kid. ![]() ![]() |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Jerry2i(m): 4:01pm On May 11, 2013 |
flow1759:yeah!!! #dancing alingo. |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by seuncyber(m): 6:42pm On May 11, 2013 |
you are still the best any day any time any year,others are still learning from u joor... keep it going if you want to look young and fine just follow i mean read flow works it helps alot keep it flowing something big is coming your way flow something just keep your finger cross something big(good) |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Cashkhiid(m): 6:48pm On May 11, 2013 |
Flowey ooh! Walahi u fit send person to psychiatric hospital walahi! See as I roll commot chair! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 8:56pm On May 11, 2013 |
seuncyber: you are still the best any day any time any year,others are still learning from u joor... Wow!! I am flattered. What am i to say but Thank you so much. |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 8:58pm On May 11, 2013 |
Cashkhiid: Flowey ooh! Walahi u fit send person to psychiatric hospital walahi! See as I roll commot chair! You mean am? 1 Like |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by 4kizo(m): 9:12pm On May 11, 2013 |
No b smal fight |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by vickyozohu(f): 9:52pm On May 11, 2013 |
60th trend and am still following. Its a great piece I must confess. Kip it and shine brighter |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by vickyozohu(f): 9:52pm On May 11, 2013 |
60th trend and am still following. Its a great piece I must confess. Kip it up and shine brighter |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by vision2050: 6:08am On May 12, 2013 |
still flowing. This story can make old mama to become a lady, her wrinkles will surely disappear. You remain the best, Boss. |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Cashkhiid(m): 7:51am On May 12, 2013 |
flow1759: ![]() ![]() |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by swaggerkid(m): 10:54am On May 12, 2013 |
Flow you thy Bleep up oh...too update self na problem ...no be say u no thy they online...Abi na until we send money go ur acct or make we fry egg for you niii?:/ |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by killuminati(m): 3:46pm On May 12, 2013 |
Last page |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 5:03pm On May 12, 2013 |
"Man see money wey dem this bad guys thief for Chief motor oh, Dollars!" I said, as I, Man, Tupac, Bigie, and Brainbox sat in Bigie's room admiring the Dollar notes that evening. "but guy una bad oh, how una take open the motor sef?" Tupac asked. "na God do am oh" Bigie answered. "haba! shey God dey help person thief?" I queried. My eyes were totally fixed on the Dollar notes. I so much admired the Dollar notes because since i was born, that was the first day i saw Dollar notes live. I had seen it on Tv severally, but that was my first day of seeing it Live and Direct. I took one of the notes to feel its texture for the first time in my life. "guy see as you dey look the money, abi you never see Dollar before?" Bigie said, smiling to reveal his gap teeth. That was my first day of noticing Bigie had slight gap teeth. "me wey i don see Dollar tayah, my papa dey give us Dollar make we take buy biscuit when we small" I teased. I wasn't even sure my Dad had seen Dollar since he was born. Okay, he had seen it once, when he went for United Nation peace keeping in Liberia. He not only saw it, he owned it. I know as you read this, you would say; "Flow is from a poor home!". Well, you are not far from the truth. We were so poor that we had two TVs; one for picture, one for sound. And when the TV that produced picture spoilt, we had to make do with the TV that produced sound. We were so poor that when my rich friends asked me what my favorite food was, my answer was Beans and Bread(B and B). We were so poor that i thought munching soaked Garri was the same as taking Corn Flakes. We were so poor that Lunch was Dinner. We were so poor that i grew pot belly at age seven. But now Levels don change sha. Baba God noni. "guys na to enter Ama Hausa go change this Dollar to Naira oh" Tupac suggested, "make una go wear cloth make all of us go na" said Bigie. Ama Hausa! Oh Ama Hausa!! Ama Hausa literally means Home for Hausas or Northerners. In Ama Hausa, you could change Dollar to Naira. Infact, you could change to any currency in the world. Bureau de Change was it. If that was all, the place wouldn't had been dreaded. In Ama Hausa, you could buy and sell anything in the world, even human head. You could buy things ranging from Suya, to Wrapper, to Phone, to laptop, to Igboh, to human tongue, to human s'crotum, just name it. Infact sometimes i wondered if their delicious Suya was human parts. One thing for sure, in every State in Nigeria, there must be an Ama Hausa. Maybe it is not known by that name, but i assure you, there must be an Ama Hausa. Infact, i can categorically say that, in every Country in the World, there must be an Ama Hausa, be it Jamaica, be it Russia. Because like they say; "Aboki dey everywhere". On our way to the bus stop to board a bus that would take us to Ama Hausa, "guy i don f''uck up oh, how i go carry my phone dey go Ama Hausa, i dey craze?" Tupac said. "na true oh, me too i carry my wallet and phone" I said. And I and Tupac ran to keep our phones and wallets at home. We going to keep our phones and wallets at home, was a very wise decision. Infact, if it were to be possible to keep my S'crotum at home, i would had done so, because Ama Hausa had a history of magnetizing people's S'crotum and P'enis. Many S'crotum and P'enis had gone, more would sure join, but not mine. "The sun rises in the East and set in the West" goes the cliche. The town of Owerri shone like the Sun just rose that Evening. "make una leave me make i speak Hausa with them the Mallam oh" Man cautioned. As we crossed to the other side of the road to meet the Aboki or rather Mallam that did bureau de change, i said a little prayer for the P'enis of any of us not to fly away. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by deji47: 5:44pm On May 12, 2013 |
nack us more tory as fedinand don score make we celebrate. |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Bigflamie(m): 6:02pm On May 12, 2013 |
It's known as suspense. |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Melancholy(m): 6:11pm On May 12, 2013 |
In any states in nigeria hausas settlement are commonly called 'KETERE' or SANGO but not sango the god of iron in yoruba land,same spellings but pronunciation different. |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by blueeyes1: 6:32pm On May 12, 2013 |
Melancholy: In any states in nigeria hausas settlement are commonly called 'KETERE' or SANGO but not sango the god of iron in yoruba land,same spellings but pronunciation different.Sango is not d god of iron but thunder,ogun is. 1 Like |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Neduzze5(m): 10:01pm On May 12, 2013 |
Flow on bro. I bin initially dey afraid to read your tori from page zero but from about three days ago wey I begin, I just finish am yesterday. It's the lord's doing. You just gat yourself a new fan! |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 10:12pm On May 12, 2013 |
Neduzze5: Flow on bro. I bin initially dey afraid to read your tori from page zero but from about three days ago wey I begin, I just finish am yesterday. It's the lord's doing. You just gat yourself a new fan! Which kin Fan? Standing fan or Ceiling fan ![]() Thanks all the same. |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Ivyluvie: 10:35pm On May 12, 2013 |
flow1759:na hand fan.lolz. anyway nyc story,loving it. |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Ivyluvie: 10:36pm On May 12, 2013 |
flow1759:na hand fan.lolz. anyway nyc story,loving it.. |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Rapmaestro(m): 10:57pm On May 12, 2013 |
Ivyluvie: na hand fan.lolz.wey i bin dey think say na helicopter fan... RULE NOS 21 |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Cashkhiid(m): 12:06am On May 13, 2013 |
Flow i just dey gbadun you oh.... More updates abeg ![]() |
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by 4kizo(m): 5:15am On May 13, 2013 |
Kip d bomb flow |
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