Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,207,479 members, 7,999,160 topics. Date: Sunday, 10 November 2024 at 07:08 PM

Man Wey Dey Reason - Literature (63) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Man Wey Dey Reason (556940 Views)

As E Dey Happen (pidgin Tory Wey Sweet Wella) / AS E DEY Happen(a Pidgin Story) / Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) ... (60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65) (66) ... (112) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by SexyDuby(f): 1:12pm On May 14, 2013
Finally Ishillove admits ma Flow is a talented writer. Gud 2 knw u also enjoy flow's work. God bless u 4 admitting & more grease 2 ur wisdom of writing too.
@ Flow, na wa as u take abandon me o...khai
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by dayleke: 1:58pm On May 14, 2013
Flow,that is an olive branch o,pls take it....

How have you been?
Just catching up now....

1 Like

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by 4kizo(m): 2:02pm On May 14, 2013
Flow
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Ishilove: 2:02pm On May 14, 2013
SexyDuby: Finally Ishillove admits ma Flow is a talented writer. Gud 2 knw u also enjoy flow's work. God bless u 4 admitting & more grease 2 ur wisdom of writing too.
I never said he wasn't.

God bless you too. smiley
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by FoxyVista(m): 2:04pm On May 14, 2013
Ishilove:
I never said he wasn't.

God bless you too. smiley

grin grin grin grin

My Love kiss kiss
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Ivyluvie: 2:13pm On May 14, 2013
Na wa o.*sighs*.eerm ma'am ishi,abeg u don update ur chilo stowi?
sire flow,more update pls.tnx.u guys r doing great.
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by dayleke: 2:13pm On May 14, 2013
Foxy,how now?
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Ivyluvie: 2:14pm On May 14, 2013
Na wa o.*sighs*.eerm ma'am ishi,abeg u don update ur chilo stowi?
sire flow,more update pls.tnx.u guys r doing great..
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by dayleke: 2:15pm On May 14, 2013
@ ishilove,
It takes a great mind to know another......

1 Like

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by dayleke: 2:17pm On May 14, 2013
STILL HE FLOWS.......

Or so I tot....

I beg,come update jare...
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by FoxyVista(m): 2:20pm On May 14, 2013
dayleke: Foxy,how now?

Everly running my banned ar.se around town

1 Like

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by dayleke: 2:24pm On May 14, 2013
I wonder what NL would be without you..?
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Francuiz: 2:26pm On May 14, 2013
Tanks ma'am Ishi. Atleast i don learn ichor nd oda tins.
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by vision2050: 2:35pm On May 14, 2013
Even haters keep enjoying the story so i tot. Flow you are the big Boss.
* waiting for more update*
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Ishilove: 2:41pm On May 14, 2013
vision2050: Even haters keep enjoying the story so i tot. Flow you are the big Boss.
* waiting for more update*
Le imbecil undecided
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 2:41pm On May 14, 2013
"the whole money na 25k, how we go take share am" Bigie said on our way to board a bus to take us home. "when we reach house, we go know how we go share am" said Man.

It was getting dark. The darkness couldn't hide the fact that i smelled like a S'kunk. I was wet also.

"something dey smell" Tupac noticed as he walked shoulder to shoulder with me. "na all this dustbin wey dey for road, this market too dirty" I said and Brainbox giggled.

A seat by the window was it, so i gently went to seat close to the window at the extreme of the bus we boarded.

"make una come sidon for here na" I was beckoning my friends to come seat on the empty seats beside me.

"no worry make we sidon here, only u sidon there" Brainbox replied and they all laughed.

"why una dey laugh na, wetin funny?" I inquired what fuelled their laughter the more.

Had Brainbox told the others that i fell on urine? I asked myself.

I could still feel slight peppery sentation in my d'ick, although it was diminishing gradually.

The "fragrance" that emanated from my shirt smelled like the fragrance a He-goat produces.

Or were they rearing Goats in that shop? I asked myself.

My wish at that moment was for nobody to come seat by my side. That wasn't possible, unless of course i was ready to pay for the empty seats.

Even if somebody would seat by my side, atleast not a female.

A female it was, a beautiful one at that.

Not just beautiful, but Big and Beautiful.

The females that followed behind her were of her kind.

Call them Plus size, call them Orobo, call them Fat, call them Chubby, it is left for you. But for me, i would prefer to call them Heavy Duty because as the three of them sat, it seemed the bus tyre deflated.

Not only that, as they sat, they practically mangled me towards the window, that i could barely breathe.

The cloud was about to cry, as i could hear low thundering sounds from afar.

I took a quick glimpse at the faces of the Ladies to notice that just two of them were beautiful; the one by my side, and the one at the extreme. The one at the middle could be best described as a Mother Frog.

The right arm of my shirt was soaked with urine and it was wetting the dress of the beautiful Heavy duty that sat beside me. She didn't even notice.

What she noticed was the stench of Urine that came from my direction. And she looked away.

"uuuuuuuhnnnn! Piss dey smell for here" The heavy duty at the extreme said. I was surprised such beautiful Lady spoke Pidgin.

"who dey piss for bed here" The Mother Frog at the middle said and every passenger laughed.

"you dey Mad, na your Papa dey piss for bed" I almost said.

Immediately the bus Ignition came on, it started drizzling.

From drizzling, it started raining heavily.

Saying it rained Cats and Dogs that night is an understatement, it rained Elephants and Cows.

All the windows were shut and the urine odour was suffocating.

"uuuuuuuhnnn! Person go wan piss, na for him clothe him go piss, like say him be small pekin" The Mother Frog said what made the whole passengers laughed out loud. She was really a comedian, i guessed God gave her that talent to console her for her U'gliness. She would definately give Lepacious Bose a run for her money if she harness the talent rightly.


Suddenly, i felt a drop of water rested on my head.

From one drop to several drops. I looked up and several drops of water landed into my eyes that blurred my vission.

As i moved my face towards the Heavy Duties, the drops of water that entered my eyes came running down my chin, making it look as if i was crying.

"see this Bros dey cry because of the piss wey dey smell, person wey piss for body shebi you don see wetin you cause?" The Mother Frog teased and everyone laughed. My friends even laughed most.

The water as now running fast to my head. The water on my head was overflowing to my face, making me look like an Ostrich that just took it's bath.

"Conductor una motor dey lick na" I complained.

"no vex, take this rag put for the place wey dey lick" The bus Conductor offered me a very dirty rag that i rejected.

"make him use him hand hold the rag for up abi, you no know say him hand go pain am, you no get sense oh, you dey Mad oh" That was Brainbox abusing the Bus Conductor.

"na your Papa dey Mad, Otu Nne gi" The Bus Conductor returned.

"Otu Nne gi" is an abuse that literally means Your Mother's Kpormor. Of course you know the Kpormor i mean.

One thing led to another and Brainbox let out a punch to the Bus conductor's jaw.

The Bus conductor also let out a punch that was meant for Brainbox but landed on Man's left eye.

2 Likes

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Ishilove: 2:42pm On May 14, 2013
Francuiz: Tanks ma'am Ishi. Atleast i don learn ichor nd oda tins.
smiley
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Ishilove: 2:43pm On May 14, 2013
Foxy_Vista:

grin grin grin grin

My Love kiss kiss
smiley :*
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 2:58pm On May 14, 2013
Ishilove: Ichor. The whitish stuff you swallowed from the cockroach's crushed carcass is ichor. When you crush insects, the whitish stuff that oozes out is ichor, not cockroach shit.

"The meat was so delicious that i almost chew my tongue along with it"- CHEWED. You are using the first person narrative style, you are narrating what has already happened, so it is past. Hence you should use past tense.

A Mallam: 'mallam' in the context you have used it isn't a proper noun, so the first letter shouldnt be capitalised.

"300naira own" Brainbox answered.
"we fit taste am?" Brainbox asked"- Brainbox Brainbox...do you see what I see? I'll tell you what I see: I see wrong repetition. Since it is the same character speaking, there is no need to separate the sentences into paragraphs. Try

"300naira own" Brainbox answered. "shey we fit taste am?" he asked further.


"his beard was longer and more bushy than that of Osama"- bushier

The surrounding was so dirty that, if the
population of the flies that flew around were
taken, it would amount to over One million.

The floor of the shop was also flooded with
what looked like Urine.

Since you're giving readers a description of the shop, the sentences should be in the same paragraph. Paragraphs are meant for different subject matters. The second paragraph is still describing the same shop, so there is no need for it to be seperated, hence it should be

"The surrounding was so dirty that, if the
population of the flies that flew around were
taken, it would amount to over One million.The floor of the shop was also flooded with what looked like Urine."

"Since the shop was clouded with stench of"-clouded/stench. Visual/olfactory. A place cannot be clouded with stench. Rather it can be clouded by smoke, mist, fog: we can visualise these elements. We can see then with out eyes. Stench on the other hand is olfactory, has to do with our sense of smell. We cannot SEE smell which the word 'clouded' connotes. Instead the place reeked with the stench. Stank, funked etc

"i saw a cockroach crawled towards my chair."- crawling

"soon my hands was infested with pepper" - I think you should change this word. 'Infested' brings to mind diseases and plagues sad. In addition, it should be 'my hands were, not was. 'Were' plural (hands), 'was' singular (hand)

So there you have it, flow, my observations, as you asked me to. wink grin

Hilarious narrative, by the way. You seem to be living an interesting life cheesy. You kind of remind me of sebonzakura kageyoshi, sans the pidgin and censored words tongue. Keep writing flow, you are getting there. And guy, you are one heck of a talented writer smiley

Mehn you don finish me.

I have seen my n'akedness, i will make amends.

This combination of pidgin English and English language is really affecting my English.

Thank you, i will correct it straight up.

I learnt alot.

Thanks once more.

BTW Are you married? Make we mingle na grin

7 Likes

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by FoxyVista(m): 3:02pm On May 14, 2013
flow1759:

Mehn you don finish me.

I have seen my n'akedness, i will make amends.

This combination of pidgin English and English language is really affecting my English.

Thank you, i will correct it straight up.

I learnt alot.

Thanks once more.

BTW Are you married? Make we mingle na grin

Yes she is.... To me!!! angry angry angry
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Rapmaestro(m): 3:11pm On May 14, 2013
Foxy_Vista:

Yes she is.... To me!!! angry angry angry
STFU, betrothed to me..
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 3:11pm On May 14, 2013
Foxy_Vista:

Yes she is.... To me!!! angry angry angry

Then divorce her.

Your Oga at the top needs her.
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by FoxyVista(m): 3:13pm On May 14, 2013
Rap maestro: STFU, betrothed to me..

I never get your time, wait make I finish with Flow then I go show you road to your mama skirt.

1 Like

Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by FoxyVista(m): 3:13pm On May 14, 2013
flow1759:

Then divorce her.

Your Oga at the top needs her.

Around here I am the only OATT.

Forget it man, she is too sweet to be let go.

Ishilove, I hope you dey hear that one.
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by vision2050: 3:26pm On May 14, 2013
myy colleagues dey ask me sekosi sekosi? Kilode to n rererin? I tell her na you dey make me laugh grin
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Rapmaestro(m): 3:35pm On May 14, 2013
Foxy_Vista:

I never get your time, wait make I finish with Flow then I go show you road to your mama skirt.
[b]*KNACK BOTTLE FOR GROUND* today! Today!! Me no go gree,., foxy and Flow won carry my Ishi aarggh, lai lai, I no go gree
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by Rapmaestro(m): 3:35pm On May 14, 2013
vision2050: myy colleagues dey ask me sekosi sekosi? Kilode to n rererin? I tell her na you dey make me laugh grin
why you dey laff? No make me draw Prison break Tattoo for your cheek o.. Ehen
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by beycitee(m): 3:48pm On May 14, 2013
Nice work flow....you are indeed talented.......Just keep to your style cos thats what most of us enjoy in your write up....
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by flow1759: 4:08pm On May 14, 2013
Ishilove:
I never said he wasn't.

God bless you too. smiley

lemme correct you, this Story is based on my past life and not my present.

I say make i ask you oh.

Do you have book(s) to ur credit?

What did u study in sch?

You be Edo babe?

Seriously, do you have an "Oga at the top in ur life"?(Forget wetin Foxy dey jonz himself).

I need answers to all these questions and MORE.

Thanks for the correction once more.

If you been correct me like dis we for no quarel na. Abi our fans wetin una think?
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by VanTee20(m): 4:48pm On May 14, 2013
flow1759:

lemme correct you, this Story is based on my past life and not my present.

I say make i ask you oh.

Do you have book(s) to ur credit?

What did u study in sch?

You be Edo babe?

Seriously, do you have an "Oga at the top in ur life"?(Forget wetin Foxy dey jonz himself).

I need answers to all these questions and MORE.

Thanks for the correction once more.

If you been correct me like dis we for no quarel na. Abi our fans wetin una think?
You'd better not let Larry Sun see thisgringringrin
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by jslimz(f): 5:16pm On May 14, 2013
Flow, i love the way you flow. Please keep flowing.
I gbandu your style.

Ishi please who is the proper oga at the top?
Re: Man Wey Dey Reason by FoxyVista(m): 5:33pm On May 14, 2013
flow1759:

lemme correct you, this Story is based on my past life and not my present.

I say make i ask you oh.

Do you have book(s) to ur credit?

What did u study in sch?

You be Edo babe?

Seriously, do you have an "Oga at the top in ur life"?(Forget wetin Foxy dey jonz himself).

I need answers to all these questions and MORE.

Thanks for the correction once more.

If you been correct me like dis we for no quarel na. Abi our fans wetin una think?

[b]Flow, shey you never know say I sabi vex when I high abi, I look like who go carry jonzing matter come public forum? Though me been dey play but wetin make you dey even reason ISHILOVE side self? Eh?

Owk, make I correct you for one thing. Me na Hausa brought up so I be aboki to the core and I go tell you one of our Hausa popular proverbs.

"Dariya ba so ba"

Literarily translated as...

"Laughter is not likeness or love"

So do not misinterpret Ishilove trying to help you as an avenue to start cultivating feelings for her. With the way you are going about it self you are already playing a lost game. Do you know why you can follow a member and PM them if the necessity arises?

That's a question you should have brooded over before declaring your love for her here. Haba mana.

Ehm... I am not fighting for love o, itz just this, we celebrated my colleagues birthday right in the office during office hours and, well, there were alcoholic drinks to go round. When under the influence, I don't consider people's feeling before posting truths in BLACK & WHITE. Me and Flow na paddy even outside Nairaland but him gats consider wetin him type. I no dey jonz. grin grin grin[/b]

1 Like 2 Shares

(1) (2) (3) ... (60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65) (66) ... (112) (Reply)

BROKEN HEDGE By Toyin Taiwo / My Life On Campus (A True Life Story). / Red Ashes

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 59
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.