debosky:

You can't always resolve it - for some the cultural expressions of respect cannot be separated from the concept of respect. For others their practices are so deeply ingrained that they refuse to countenance something different. As always, if we don't agree (or at least compromise), we can't enter into/maintain a relationship.

I've never denied the universal concept exists though - only that it's expression is the ultimate test. If we don't match on that level, there is a problem which may or may not be resolvable.

Caracta: Isn't that what we've been trying to preach to them?

Wu Zetian:
I hate confrontation(IRL) and I do not fit into your category of nice people.

Any man that has a problem with being assertive, either doesn't believe in what he stands for or has deeper issues. (Prolly battling self esteem issues, scared that he'll loose his partner or is socially awkward.)

I think the question he needs to ask himself is, why is he tweaking his so-called nature?? Does it fit the picture of the man he wants to be??
Better yourself for yourself and it will remain permanent??

I'm not talking about inspiration or encouragement but letting people be the reason for your change is letting them have a defining power over you. Men need to stop finding their identity in the eyes of some bimbo or society.

debosky:

No - you are about the ideal route to the destination I'm about the routes travelled in practice. Not everyone reaches the same point via the same route.

Ihedinobi:

Is nice = non-confrontational/non-assertive? In which dictionary? Puhleeeeeeeease!

Ihedinobi:

Ok. I'll bow to the dictionary. What then should we call a man who respects women, devotes himself 100% to his woman, and is no pushover?

uj_sizzle:
lol ofcoz darling, we can sail the ship. Beautiful weather and just the right amount of wind
Come with your swim suit, we're gonna dive

Graham123: I think most of the differing opinions here have greatly been misconstrued. A lot of hurt in the past or present tend to rear up, spark emotions and cloud thoughts which consequently render all our judgement a bit bias or out rightly off the mark. Let's all have some perspective.
Being too nice to the point of being silly is the perfect recipe for disaster in any relationship. However, love itself can be silly a times. Unless you have been in these shoes, then we should refrain from passing judgement.
In retrospect, my case was an eye opener. I am a fun-loving guy, sometimes wild. Never afraid to try out something new however dangerous it may seem. On the surface, people have a somewhat wrong perception of me, often judging by the care free nature of mine. Underneath however, I have a good heart, very retrospective and with a damning conscience. I once dated a lady I didn't love for almost 2 years just cause I couldn't bear to break her heart. During that period, I never cheated and I cared for her in a way only few people can match. I took my time until the relationship wore out naturally. That one was good but the circumstances which led to it in the first place is best to be forgotten.
My recent break up had a different twist to it. We started with a bang. One and a half years in and I started having career problems that just wouldn't leave. At some point, I lost my self esteem and confidence. I became reclusive, withdrawn from people and the fun left me. Became too jealous as a result of my low confidence and would pick on the smallest thing. My ex took all in until a point I guess. But she is the first person I ever took home to meet my mom after of course meeting her family. She did all the perfect things which I still even appreciate and grateful for today. We will talk sometimes about why we do quarrel. We often came to the conclusion that my situation is the cause and I will get back to my grind when it blows over. I cared soooo much, told her the best things and made her feel good about herself. She knows nobody will ever love her like I did and I guess she was afraid she won't meet someone like me again. Along the way, what I saw in her eyes was something out of pity more than love. Her mind wasn't really in it anymore. We had a big quarrel and we agreed to break it off with minimal fuss so we could still be friends. I initially objected but I later agreed because of she has done for me in past and the fact that I was majorly to blame sort of. However I found out she is already dating a guy I know as her friend and I had complained about when we were dating. That riled me up, got me thinking the shit has been on for sometime. I was extremely hurt, fact is it's the worst thing I have ever felt in my life. This was two weeks ago. I'm feeling a damn lot better now tho. Things are shaping up and I'm gradually get back my old self. I know somehow my insecurity got to her but she knows my situation caused it. And if the love was real, she won't have eyes for someone else. Real love I believe is patient, understanding and will always prevail. I know some people will give me the stick for some of my actions but you haven't been in those shoes. It's better not to criticize her too cause you havent been in hers either. I'm surprising myself with how quickly I'm moving on although I wish I had done some things better.

Uyi Iredia: Nice guy myths:

Nice guys are virgins: Not always.

Nice guys who are virgins fear $€x: Again not always, some flirt or even smoosh a lot.

Nice guys are mummy's boy: Dammit ! Even Shaka Zulu was a mummy's boy.

Nice guys don't beat girls: They usually don't but stress can change someone.

Add ya own.

Nice guys don't cheat: If buy cheat you mean deceptively have another affai whilst in one. You'll be amazed.

Ngokafor: ...as far as am concerned,nice guys rock in my book,any time any day!!!
...a nice guy can be interesting,out-going,witty,intelligent,driven ,good/average-looking and ...wait for it...rich!!....who says these traits are the exclusive perserve of 'jerks'..as a matter of facts,most 'jerks' are too self-absorbed and spends most of the time feeling too entitled to make much of themselves in life anyway so what are we talking about?
....nice guys are nice because they are humane and considerate about the next persons feelings and most importantly loving towards their partners simple!!...
..as for the so-called bad guys...i am sorry for you,continue with your childish mind games and mean nature you hear...at the end of the day,the nice guys will eventually settle down in a loving relationship with their wives and kids while you'll be left in the dark still groping for the 'ideal' wife at 45yrs with one or two failed marriages in the mix.
#proudly team nice guys#..hehehe...

uj_sizzle:
Can you stay 30mins longer? plsssss

Caracta:

Dayuuummm! I don't want a nice guy again!

Ngokafor: ...as far as am concerned,nice guys rock in my book,any time any day!!!
...a nice guy can be interesting,out-going,witty,intelligent,driven ,good/average-looking and ...wait for it...rich!!....who says these traits are the exclusive perserve of 'jerks'..as a matter of facts,most 'jerks' are too self-absorbed and spends most of the time feeling too entitled to make much of themselves in life anyway so what are we talking about?
....nice guys are nice because they are humane and considerate about the next persons feelings and most importantly loving towards their partners simple!!...
..as for the so-called bad guys...i am sorry for you,continue with your childish mind games and mean nature you hear...at the end of the day,the nice guys will eventually settle down in a loving relationship with their wives and kids while you'll be left in the dark still groping for the 'ideal' wife at 45yrs with one or two failed marriages in the mix.
#proudly team nice guys#..hehehe...

adexsimply:
SMH

adexsimply:
SMH

Caracta:

I have a soft spot for nice guys defined by moi. Not their type.

I've missed you o. Counting down, huh?

yeah..5 days to go

Caracta:

30 minutes never reach?

Matthew briggs: Different Stroke for different women. Some like their guys nice, some like jerks. I think over time I am gradually meter-morphing from a nice guy into what I call a nice jerk.. Reason been that certain traits of a jerk is quite useful in a relationship. Merging it with my default Niceness, it can help keep things interesting and unpredictable. Enabling one to Stay in control, keeping her on her toes, Making her never see you as weakling or puppet that's predictable or boring.

By default we know most Ladies like to end up marrying the nice guy because of the sense of security he provides, but prefer to date the jerks because of the sense of adventure he give them. Been a nice jerk you get to bring the best of both worlds to the table

#Team Nice Guy with an attitude .

#Mathew briggs no Send you. , Yes you that curvy creature, with a lip I can't wait to kiss.

debosky:

Hehehe. . . .let no one lie to you, you WILL have to play 'the game' to an extent even if you want to marry. What differs is what extent you play the game to (dependent on your circumstances) and the maturity of both parties.

Dan hump rey I hope no pun was intended.

uj_sizzle:
Tried calling you, but your line wasn't connecting

lady antebellum (need you now)woke up with the song playing in my mind . For some reason it captures my current state of mind ..well the rain was rather heavy so i got soaked even before i could open the gate and drive out..gosh i had to pull some stunts along the road to avoid being stuck at that crazy junction .. Lagosians are funny people ,they wont just be patient.. But even now i still have the words playing in my head ..ook i downloaded the song immediately i sat on my desk and its bin on repeat all day ...song of the day or maybe the week.. truth is i miss her so much even though i probably haven't met her yet or maybe i have and just don't know it yet.. irony is, am supposed to be happy.. for the first time in a while my GM at the management meeting was all praises for my report incidentally i sealed a major one..for one who is " quite unpleasable" am sure supposed to be happy , so why do i feel this way..

No sex this weekend now that makes it two weeks of self imposed celibacy.. quite honestly am tired of sleeping with ladies i feel nothing for. so i have decided to hold the playboy mode for a while .. quite hard though.. Cos honestly ladies like when u lie , and treat them like thrash they always seems to come back for more..and i have become pretty good at that bt for some reason the temptation is mounting . imagine i had to turn Tonia down . she was offering to come over for the weekend ..am still asking myself why i dint just say yes ..she blows like hell i can say she has a PHD in that and she cooks well too 
..but seriously is there like a learning ground for that. so i had to resort to a weekend of noodles and eggs plus a full pack of unused condoms.. and a whole lot of weight lifting..trust me it decipates excess kongi.. so i woke up this morning sad and empty.. but really ow did i come to this.. i loved Anu for five years, the better part of my undergrad days and took pride in advocating the one woman man rule..ow did i become this heartless dude who cant seem to feel a thing anymore..what did i do to become this cursed man who derives pleasure in capturing a woman's heart only to relish it broken in pieces ...