debosky:

Hmm. . .I don't want to miss road oh, since everything is relative.

That's one thing I learned from relationships - always ask for confirmation. Assume nothing, not even when talking to your own townswoman.

In every town (maybe), there is a palace. We share the same palace. Is palace a relative word again? *deep sigh* Then i guess we are all relative people. Nothing has a perfect definition.

Caracta:

Ok, lemme fix that. I do not want someone like me!

I'm not gonna affirm that by saying I hope you get what you wish for. I'm simply going to say that I hope you eventually realize what you just said.

Ihedinobi:

After reading that story, bro, I know that I dedicated this thread to the right people.

If we were going to take this systematically, I would ask you what you consider as being too nice. Is it possible to be too nice, really? What is nice enough? Love is silly sometimes, yes. That's when the love-games are rolled out. The games are always: "how much do I mean to you?" The answer always involves something a bit silly.

I'm so sorry about your relationship. You had a tough one. She should have stayed.

Thank God you already are an extrovert. I think this is where being extroverted has the advantage.

Lol. I don't actually consider myself as an extrovert. More in between but leaning more to the introverted life but I love having fun.
About your question. Well it isn't that clear cut or a black or white matter. There're some gray areas. Nice too is relative depending on what the other person perceives as nice. But in my opinion a nice guy is someone who treats his lady right, quick to acknowledge and say sorry if he's wrong cos nobody's perfect, caring, faithful, truthful, loyal, and independent.

uj_sizzle:
literally) A male person who has a pleasant, friendly manner.


idiomatic, euphemism) An inoffensive adult male who desires romantic companionship but who is too bland and uninspiring to be attractive.

That's a dictionary definition of a nice guy.

Dayuuummm! I don't want a nice guy again!

Ihedinobi:

Oh ok. I'm about the destination and you're about the journey?

Fine, but if I'm on the line that runs from Lagos to Kano, I'm not likely to ever get to Umuahia unless I change lines or get to Kano and head back toward Umuahia, no?

No - you are about the ideal route to the destination I'm about the routes travelled in practice. Not everyone reaches the same point via the same route.

Ihedinobi:

I'm not gonna affirm that by saying I hope you get what you wish for. I'm simply going to say that I hope you eventually realize what you just said.

Lemme help you out. I pray on bended knees that i get what i wish for. Please dear Lord, grant me my request.

Where is uj-sizzle getting her information from?? Urban dictionary??

Caracta:

In every town (maybe), there is a palace. We share the same palace. Is palace a relative word again? *deep sigh* Then i guess we are all relative people. Nothing has a perfect definition.

Now I know you're talking about our town palace, not your personal palace - some women consider their hearts their palace nah, abi you no know?

#StartingFromOlufi'sPalace

uj_sizzle:
Lets see...
I am a woman, and have spent my whole life as one.
I have female friends who talk about what they want, things they sometimes won't tell their man.
That makes me a better judge of what women want, not you.
You only get to observe and speculate. I live it.

Like I said, different strokes for different people.


Satisfied?

Nope. I don't see how you're a woman. Is it just being born with a female body that makes you one or acquiring it along the way? I understand that women, like men, are made not born.

Obviously, if I don't trust your qualifications as a woman, I'm not likely to trust your friends', am I?

[quote author=Graham123]

And I don't believe such thing as too nice. The nicer the better, the more I appreciate you as a person. The society has been wired to take 'too nice' people for granted.

Caracta:

Lemme help you out. I pray on bended knees that i get what i wish for. Please dear Lord, grant me my request.

Amen!!!

Wu Zetian: Where is uj-sizzle getting her information from?? Urban dictionary??

Exactly what I was going to ask her myself! How'd you know?

Caracta:

Lemme help you out. I pray on bended knees that i get what i wish for. Please dear Lord, grant me my request.

Lord, marriage ain't no game wichu, so I'ma pray you give her a longass relationship with the exact type of person she just asked for. Amen.

Ihedinobi:

Bro, there is nothing, absolutely nothing relative or subjective about term "respect". If you respect someone, anyone at all, you defer to them. You do not ride roughshod over them. Simple.

We're not so confused as that, surely!

Was about to reply but someone already beat me to it.

Caracta:

Yes. But not for long. 12noon. Remember?

Isn't that what we've been trying to preach to them?

Can you stay 30mins longer? plsssss

debosky:



Now I know you're talking about our town palace, not your personal palace - some women consider their hearts their palace nah, abi you no know?

#StartingFromOlufi'sPalace

Hehehehe. Now you know. I actually forgot his name. Thanks for reminding me. Olufi! I won't forget that ever again.

debosky:

Amen!!!

Thanks jare. I really know the kind of man i want. And i understand my kind of person. I no fit shout biko.

Wu Zetian: Where is uj-sizzle getting her information from?? Urban dictionary??

What's that
Advanced English Dictionary.
Do I also have to post their etymology?

Wu Zetian:
I hate confrontation(IRL) and I do not fit into your category of nice people.

Any man that has a problem with being assertive, either doesn't believe in what he stands for or has deeper issues. (Prolly battling self esteem issues, scared that he'll loose his partner or is socially awkward.)

I think the question he needs to ask himself is, why is he tweaking his so-called nature?? Does it fit the picture of the man he wants to be??
Better yourself for yourself and it will remain permanent??

I'm not talking about inspiration or encouragement but letting people be the reason for your change is letting them have a defining power over you. Men need to stop finding their identity in the eyes of some bimbo or society.

[size=32pt]BAM!!!!!![/size]

Ihedinobi:

Lord, marriage ain't no game wichu, so I'ma pray you give her a longass everlasting relationship with the exact type of person she just asked for. Amen.

Fixed!

Thanks dear

debosky:

To varying extents there are - unfortunately we can get so lost in these definitions that some begin to think they can fit people into these boxes. All I'm saying is there's lots of grey out there - multiple colours even - and personal taste matters a lot in how actions are perceived.

That does not fit here. I just ran the spectrum with the three "boxes". There are no overlaps here. Very red is not a little blue. Jerks and wimps have something in common, but they are so 180° opposed. The nice guy is the real man of whom the other two are caricatures. Simple!

Ihedinobi:

Nope. I don't see how you're a woman. Is it just being born with a female body that makes you one or acquiring it along the way? I understand that women, like men, are made not born.

Obviously, if I don't trust your qualifications as a woman, I'm not likely to trust your friends', am I?

We're circling back to the same point I was making earlier.
A woman is an adult female obviously, but many others you choose it attach extra meaning to it just like some define a man as something other than an adult male. In the same vein, we all define being nice in different ways.
You can't strut around giving your own 'ideal' definition(well, you can) and even if you do, you can't expect everyone to roll with it.


You are a confident male..very admirable. But there's a thin line btwn confidence and arrogance and you're starting to tilt towards the latter....that isn't attractive.



I'll let you argue this with people who are actually interested in it, while those of us who don't share your views will keep believing in what we wish

..

uj_sizzle:
What's that
Advanced English Dictionary.
Do I also have to post their etymology?

'Nice guy' is an idiomatic expression, posting the etymology of the individual words wouldn't make any sense

debosky:



Just remember how the word Gay has changed in meaning - you are 100% right.

You said 'nice' within his conscience was a good definition no?

I've just shown one possible flaw in that definition that's all. Besides, I did say playful slaps didn't I? I know some people (male and female) can slap each other playfully, while others don't consider any form of slapping playful.

If you make it a matter of an individual's conscience, then that conscience may be shaped differently from yours due to life experiences - just thought it was worth pointing that out.

Of course, in general people from the same culture will view niceness from a similar perspective, but not all do. With today's diverse, interspersed world with people often relating with others with a completely different background/upbringing/philosophy, more care must be taken when defining things such as 'nice'.

On second read, you do have a solid point. I agree that limiting respect to individual conscience makes it extremely subjective.

debosky:



Just remember how the word Gay has changed in meaning - you are 100% right.

You said 'nice' within his conscience was a good definition no?

I've just shown one possible flaw in that definition that's all. Besides, I did say playful slaps didn't I? I know some people (male and female) can slap each other playfully, while others don't consider any form of slapping playful.

If you make it a matter of an individual's conscience, then that conscience may be shaped differently from yours due to life experiences - just thought it was worth pointing that out.

Of course, in general people from the same culture will view niceness from a similar perspective, but not all do. With today's diverse, interspersed world with people often relating with others with a completely different background/upbringing/philosophy, more care must be taken when defining things such as 'nice'.

On second read, you do have a solid point. I agree that limiting respect to individual conscience makes it extremely subjective.

Ihedinobi:

That does not fit here. I just ran the spectrum with the three "boxes". There are no overlaps here. Very red is not a little blue. Jerks and wimps have something in common, but they are so 180° opposed. The nice guy is the real man of whom the other two are caricatures. Simple!

Of course it does - you yourself said that no one is born x or y, so how can two things have things in common yet have no overlaps? Are those things in common not, by definition, overlaps?

I've always found the boxes have limited usefulness - better to look at people in terms of their pool of traits than try to box them.

debosky:



Just remember how the word Gay has changed in meaning - you are 100% right.

You said 'nice' within his conscience was a good definition no?

I've just shown one possible flaw in that definition that's all. Besides, I did say playful slaps didn't I? I know some people (male and female) can slap each other playfully, while others don't consider any form of slapping playful.

If you make it a matter of an individual's conscience, then that conscience may be shaped differently from yours due to life experiences - just thought it was worth pointing that out.

Of course, in general people from the same culture will view niceness from a similar perspective, but not all do. With today's diverse, interspersed world with people often relating with others with a completely different background/upbringing/philosophy, more care must be taken when defining things such as 'nice'.

On second read, I agree that limiting respect to individual conscience makes it extremely subjective.

Pardon my hasty response earlier.

Caracta:

So why is ihedinobi against "opposites attract"? More like two Phlegmatics getting married.

To Ihedinobi, Sanguines attract Sanguines. Wonderful!

That's own view. I guess there is something he is trying to pass,but which doesn't seem comprehensible.

debosky:

Of course it does - you yourself said that no one is born x or y, so how can two things have things in common yet have no overlaps? Are those things in common not, by definition, overlaps?

I've always found the boxes have limited usefulness - better to look at people in terms of their pool of traits than try to box them.

Jerks and Wimps have this in common: they try to control women and their relationships. That is all.

I do understand you, although I'm all fiery about this.

A nice guy has qualities that are overdeveloped in a jerk (that's actually why jerks are not a totally lost cause). He also has qualities that are overdeveloped in the wimp, so wimps aren't a lost cause either. But a wimp is the extreme opposite of a jerk. Beyond their being emotional predators, they share nothing else in common.

Individual people may swing from one end to the other depending on the circumstances that they are passing through but when a givenan is being a jerk, he's neither being a wimp or a nice guy. Same thing the other two ways. That's my point. I deal with people on a moment-to-moment basis.

uj_sizzle:
We're circling back to the same point I was making earlier.
A woman is an adult female obviously, but many others you choose it attach extra meaning to it just like some define a man as something other than an adult male. In the same vein, we all define being nice in different ways.
You can't strut around giving your own 'ideal' definition(well, you can) and even if you do, you can't expect everyone to roll with it.


You are a confident male..very admirable. But there's a thin line btwn confidence and arrogance and you're starting to tilt towards the latter....that isn't attractive.



I'll let you argue this with people who are actually interested in it, while those of us who don't share your views will keep believing in what we wish

Ok, I'm sorry. That was a jerk's response.

It is a debate though that women don't know what they want. I personally hold that grownups, adults do know what they wand why they want it and why it is the right thing to want. So, I'm ordinarily a bit dubious when women (or even men) claim to want something and their pedigree is either unknown or in question to me.

Still, that wasn't a good response from me. Begging your pardon.

Hian! I'm having headache already from reading too much arguements and counter-arguements!


And yet,we still haven't arrive at a clear and comprehensive definition of who a nice guy really is.

uj_sizzle:
literally) A male person who has a pleasant, friendly manner.


idiomatic, euphemism) An inoffensive adult male who desires romantic companionship but who is too bland and uninspiring to be attractive.



That's a dictionary definition of a nice guy.

But since we've made it our business as humans to use words out of their original meaning, i'll say the definition of a 'nice guy' is subject to different individuals.

You can't define it, cause who A views as a nice guy could be a Jerk to B.

Ok. I'll bow to the dictionary. What then should we call a man who respects women, devotes himself 100% to his woman, and is no pushover?