booqee: stop shooting yourself in the foot. U say you won't ask for permission, but say you would inform him before starting. My friend you're still asking for permission. But either way, this is an arrogant and excessively unnecessary independent attitude, pls drop it b4 getting married. I'm sure a sensible man would not oppose to his wife wanting to build a house, why do it behind his back??

girlfriend, i didnt even read the nollywood story.

i responded based on the title on the front page ''His Wife Built A House Without His Permission ''

emphasis on the word ''PERMISSION''.

like i said, i will inform my husband even before I purchase the land but that does not constitute seeking his permission.

google up the definition of the words 'INFORM' and 'PERMISSION'

funkybaby: @king100

the insults are not necessary. let's post like adults which I am guessing you are.

when a man earns more than the wife and is not in anyway insecure about his wife's wealth or progress, such mudane issues such as 'granting his wife permission to spend her money' never arises

Insults not necessary and I like ur approach for not insulting the dude. See, a lot of marriages crash because of issues like these. I don't think you're asking for 'permission' to build. Since, you're in a union where two suddenly becomes one. It just seems appropriate to consult with your husband before embarking on such projects just as it is appropriate for him to do as well.

As for the Victoria secret things, please just surprise the lucky dude every day with different 'vickies' (no consultation needed) and go completely gaga on Halloween!

temi4fash:

wat is dis one saying

You are a kid so I don't expect you to understand.

texaco1: you are not getting the point , the man is not angry that his wife is rich or making progress in life , what is paining and hurting the man is that she betrayed his trust by doing what she did without informing him , if she had informed him and he refused but yet she went ahead that is another issue , but living , sleeping and eating with a woman that is building a house and yet she says nothing about it is LIKE SLEEPING WITH YOUR ENEMY , she can even kill the man if told to do so by the same people that told her not to inform her husband about the building project

Thank you.

funkybaby: why do i need my man's permission before i build a house

of course i will inform him before i start but that does not constitute seeking his permission.

its my hard earned money and i can spend it however it pleases me as long as I do not put my finances or the family in jeopardy

You must have only one reason for making this comment. and that reason could be you are living in abroad. but if you are not,
It is not in our character for a wife who took a vow that" whatever she has is his and with her body she worship........etc" will then go behind her man's back and build a house without informing the man.what do you call that? independent?

I just hope you are married or in a serious relationship. if not hmmmm...........

gbanikiti: You know one thing, before you judge a case,you need to listen to the two sides of the story. The man has said his own part. Now that the woman isn't available to say her own story,let's assume the man is not totally right or he's just trying to get sympathy on this thread.

Do you think the poster would have approved his wife of building the house? Some men could be so insecure when they find out their wives earn more than them.

Now the deed has been done. Remember the house also belongs to him and his kids. In fact, she built it for there kids, not so? He should just forgive the wife and move on.

definitely the man has problems with his in laws, it is very possible he might have made some comments or actions which portrayed him to be unreliable , i am not saying the mas should send his wife away , all i am saying is that he should keep quite and watch , observe both his wife and mother in law actions carefully , and avoid taking rash decisions that will make him play into their hands

king100: Do you think marriage is child play.I pity some of you, that are not really facing reality.Can two work together except they agree.You want husband by fire by force, but you want to do things your own way. Woman! it would never work.

I also don't agree with her PoV . . . but I didn't rain insults on her or curse her future . . .

Salligreen:

Actually, you did a 180... my favorite subject in high sch was social studies too

Thank you

Richy.:


You must have only one reason for making this comment. and that reason could be you are living in abroad.

permanent resident of awujale's palace

Nna na wa
Daughters of Jezebel baring their fangs on this thread

Waaraaaahellll
Even buy new pata without my permission first I go tear am from ya waist

2ndChance: I have seen similar threads on this topic before but never imagined it could happen in my marriage.
My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now and we have been blessed with both male and female children. For the first 7yrs of the marriage, I earned about 8x my wife's salary and everything was sweet and rosy. We were the envy of most families with houses and landed properties both in the village and the city where we live. But about 4yrs ago, my wife got a better job which made her salary slightly higher than mine. But more importantly, the new job gave her access to bulk money by way of loans, grants, etc and ever since, my family has never been the same again. My wife suddenly became unruly, she doesn't consult me on any issue concerning the family again. I have sat her down on countless occasions to know what the problem is but she refused to say what is responsible for her sudden change in attitude. Even when I seek her opinion on projects concerning the family, she shows indifference most times. I then resolved to continue to engage her and be as open as I can hoping that things would improve and indeed I really noticed some slight improvement. But when I was about to settle down and relax, I got the shocker of my life -my wife had built and completed a building without my knowledge! As if that was not shocking enough, I later found out that the man who has been fronting for her on the said project is the same Priest (Reverend Father) that joined us in holy matrimony!!!
I am really confused right now, having mood swings between laughing and angry at the same time. I just don't know how to handle this.

OP,

What is the sticking point in this situation? Is it that she built the house in her name or because she did it without consulting you? Did both you agree on finances and investments being joint or separate before getting married? If roles were reversed in this situation, will you consider it ok or outrageous if she leaves the home because of what you have done? The answers to these questions should form the basis of your subsequent actions on this issue.
While I understand the viewpoint of those that say you should send her packing, consider the effect it will have on your children. They are the ones that are innocent in this matter but will bear the brunt of the punishment if you send their mother packing. Before you take any steps, do some soul searching and see if you might have contributed to her behavior as a lot of men do throw it in their spouse's face when they make considerably more than she does. Once your soul searching is done, take a stand and fight (spiritually) for your home because your vows were till death do you part not till house or money do you part. All the best!!!

gokuu: Building a house is an investment. As long as she built the house with her own money, i do not see any problem with it. it's not 1913 anymore. must she submit her investment plans for authorization?

Bros tell them we are no longer in the stone age. The wife should have given him a hint though.

2ndChance: I have confronted her already and she went down on her kneels begging for forgiveness immediately. But then, trust once lost is difficult to gain back in a relationship. So even though I have forgiven her, I really don't trust her any longer because I now have this strong feeling that she has some unterior motives. I have also confronted the Priest too and he was speechless and in shock as to how I manage to find out.
As for the paternity issue, I have no doubt the children are mine as they are my carbon copies both the male and female ones. Besides, where I hail from, I would have been a dead man by now if I wasn't the biological father of my children. So, that's sorted.

Just move on brother, she has begged and asked for forgiveness. Dont listen to people who are not married here or those ASUU has frustrated that have no idea about a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship talk less of marriage. i will probably do the same thing you wife has done for one reason alone. That may explain why she did what she did. You have perhaps hurt her before (think very well long and hard. Have you cheated on her in the past or played hanky panky and you think she has forgotten), your family maybe unfriendly or she may simply be insecure. That is why she is making plans for her future in case things go crazy and maybe family are trying to stress her. So she knows she got something somewhere no one can ever ever take away. Some women think like this but are too scared or perhaps have no money to go ahead with projects on their own.

slimikenna:

are you married? let me guess, NO YOU ARE NOT.

Actually she is and with a baby on the way. Now calm down. Besides, she is obviously married to man who is not controlling and whose ego will not be hurt if she his wife does not tell him of her building project.

texaco1: @op ,
have you spoken to your father in law about this and what was his reaction or response ?just asking

My father-in-law is late.

Ujujoan:

I also don't agree with her PoV . . .

honey, the curses and insults are on him, his future and his wife as well as her future double fold sef.

i have done the dude no wrong. all i did was post my own opinion.

Salligreen:

Actually, you did a 180... my favorite subject in high sch was social studies too

Ok my bad . . . I did a full turn - 180. I tot 360 was a full turn. Sorry, SS was not my favorite subject.

Mtcheeew!

funkybaby:

honey, the curses and insults are on him, his future and his wife as well as her future double fold sef.

i have done the dude no wrong. all i did was post my own opinion.

No mind am jare . . . you know not everybody is 100% normal!

2ndChance:
I have thought about that but it doesn't seem a good option to me as I love my children so much. They love me too and are so fond of me.

Mr 2ndchance I want you to take things very easy so as not to make decisions that ll ruin d whole thing and I want you to be very prayerful now because this is just the ploy of the devil to destroy ur happy home. Just be patient with her and talk things over. Let her know that the problem is not because she is earning more than you do or the fact that she built a house. Let her know that you are very happy that she built the house bt u r unhappy because she neva informed you about it. Let her know that if she had told you u ll neva have gotten in her way and as a happy family u believe things lyk dat shuld nt be shrouded in secrecy cos u guyz r one. I'm telling u any sane woman that hears dis will surely come around and apologise. God help you in dealing with this.AMEN. As 4 d pastor afta settling d whole thing distant ur family frm him. To me he is just a man of God in quote.

2ndChance: I have confronted her already and she went down on her kneels begging for forgiveness immediately. But then, trust once lost is difficult to gain back in a relationship. So even though I have forgiven her, I really don't trust her any longer because I now have this strong feeling that she has some unterior motives. I have also confronted the Priest too and he was speechless and in shock as to how I manage to find out.
As for the paternity issue, I have no doubt the children are mine as they are my carbon copies both the male and female ones. Besides, where I hail from, I would have been a dead man by now if I wasn't the biological father of my children. So, that's sorted.

op believe me no one acts better than women , if you can a mans cock in a woman's hole she can and will deny it and tell you that it is just a corn cub. just be careful as from now on , dont change your attitude but dont rely on her too much . take care of your children to the fullest of your abilities and pray hard

Nashville:

So your wife is not that terrible, at least she was begging for forgiveness. If she has truly changed, you will know and the trust will come back. Bros, marriage can be tough and sometimes people make stupid mistakes like your wife just did. She just may have been given bad advice. But you dont throw away all those blessings because of that single mstake. We all sin against God and ask for forgiveness. You should also practice forgiveness but completely forgiving your wife. And if she were truly sorry, she would hand over the keys to the house to you.

LOL LOL LOL yeah right. lol

pro01: The idea of a wife earning more than her husband has never been compatible with marital peace and stability. Ninety percent of the time, a financially superior woman sooner than later bares her fangs, revealing the ruthless she-devil underneath.

Those of you men that are very prayerful should pray that you never find yourselves in a position where your wives earn more than you - even if it means sabotaging any possibility or likelihood of such an occurrence. After all, if God wanted to bless your family with peace and prosperity, he would give wealth to the head of the family instead. Only the devil would 'curse' a wife with more wealth than her husband in order to destabilize the family.

Actually, it goes both ways . . .

I've seen a man behave calmly because his wife was the major breadwinner. Immediately things got better for him, but became a totally different person.

Wanted to go and come as he pleases, just because he no longer asks his wife for money.

That's why I always advocate for both parties to be financially stable before marriage. That way, nobody is pretending to be what h/she is not because the other has financial advantage!

2ndChance:
I have thought about that but it doesn't seem a good option to me as I love my children so much. They love me too and are so fond of me.

Mr 2ndchance I want you to take things very easy so as not to make decisions that ll ruin d whole thing and I want you to be very prayerful now because this is just the ploy of the devil to destroy ur happy home. Just be patient with her and talk things over. Let her know that the problem is not because she is earning more than you do or the fact that she built a house. Let her know that you are very happy that she built the house bt u r unhappy because she neva informed you about it. Let her know that if she had told you u ll neva have gotten in her way and as a happy family u believe things lyk dat shuld nt be shrouded in secrecy cos u guyz r one. I'm telling u any sane woman that hears dis will surely come around and apologise. God help you in dealing with this.AMEN. As 4 d pastor afta settling d whole thing distant ur family frm him. To me he is just a man of God in quote.

My brother, I have seen lots of advices here some are good and some are not good. Kneeling down and begging for forgiveness is no big deal. I can do it too with like 20 mins crying added to it. My candid advice is:

1. Don't hate her and don't send her away.

2. Request for the documents as it should be in your possession.

3. If she refuses to give u the documents.

4. Stop sleeping in same room with her.

5. Change your phone number and keep her off ur contacts whatever. Facebook, twitter. Etc

6. Don't you ever, ever eat her food. because if she finds out through the advise of her friends,mother, or pastor that you are becoming a pain in the ass, then she can be compelled to act rashly and if u should die, she would get another hubby in a year, and as she is getting so ambitious now, she has the automatic ownership to all your stuffs.

7. Threat her like a stranger in the house.

8. Don't ever have family discussions with her.

9. Behave as if your life depends on it.

10. Let it stretch for like two to three months.

11. When she comes for begging,don't give in immediately.

12. There shall not be a third party in the reconciliation scene. It should just you and her.

13. Trying to knw if the pastor is screwing her is a past thing. Just keep the past off from it.

14. But meet the foolish pastor and tell him bluntly that if you ever see him 250 meters close to any member of your household, that you will "kill" him.

15. Get a court injuction on him calling your wife or getting close to your family.

16. Withdraw the matter from your family and her family meddling in to solve. Keep them out of it. And your friends too. Only you and your wife can save your marriage.

17. Tell her you want a divorce and see how she would react to it. If she is shocked at and scared at it, then know she wants her marriage to stay, but if she is not, then know that can be the last option (deutoronomy. 24:1-4).

18. As you start it, dedicate a week fasting & prayer to God, for the purpose of keeping the family imtact and ask God to reveal hidden things to you, as I to know if the pastor has voodoo on her, because I don't trust most of all these pastors with their wack powers.

19. Lastly, don't joke with your life. E no get duplicate.

holdit: I can see from your comment that you either attend redeemed christian church of God or Celestial Church of Christ.

@op Takeheart......

Hahahahahaha.

U re either blind or cant see well.

2ndChance:
My father-in-law is late.

hmmm, that is the main issue , i am sure your mother in law was in total control of her husband when he was alive and she believes that she should be able to control her daughters marriage too which you may not have allowed due to the fat that you are okay financially. now that he girl has gotten a good job she has found a means of getting back at you .
another question i will like to ask is , is she the only child or daughter or last born in her family ?

smartchoice: Send her outta your life immediately!

which kind MUMU advice be dis?..smart choice indeed

I'm speechless...as I aint yet married,I'm dnt v any useful real life advice 4 u and so I'm gonna keep quiet and let more 'wiser' peopl talk 2 u while I learn cos it cud appen to any1
BUT it aint hard to discern that that priest doesn't mean u guys well and so I urge u to tell ur wife never to see him without ur permission!!!why a married woman spens such time wid a priest s beyond me!!report him

pro01: The idea of a wife earning more than her husband has never been compatible with marital peace and stability. Ninety percent of the time, a financially superior woman sooner than later bares her fangs, revealing the ruthless she-devil underneath.

Those of you men that are very prayerful should pray that you never find yourselves in a position where your wives earn more than you - even if it means sabotaging any possibility or likelihood of such an occurrence. After all, if God wanted to bless your family with peace and prosperity, he would give wealth to the head of the family instead. Only the devil would 'curse' a wife with more wealth than her husband in order to destabilize the family.

Some women are different... I pray to marry such... Even if they have more money than you the love and respect will still be there... But they are in the minority.. Like 0.002 percent...

Phema: I just hate it when a serious topic like this is put on front page. See children everywhere!

true !

Don;t mind the first advisor, Why send her outta of ya house? It might be that the priest has deceived her or something like that, i advise that you approach the priest and warn him to desist from causing problems in your marriage. By the way no Good priest will do what this priest is doing. sending your wife out of the house is not an option (God knows i hate the word DIVORCE), Give the so called priest a stern warning or even report him to the caretakers or committee of the church if he refuses to comply with your warning.

Chatters:

Bros tell them we are no longer in the stone age. The wife should have given him a hint though.

Give a hint ke? lol. This kind major investment, na hint you wan give? Except you married a weak man sha. I see no reason why I would allow any woman to come and supplant my God given role as head of the family. You want to invest, am fine with that but talk to me about it first and let me approve. Don't go behind my back to a fu<king priest. Capische?