mizzocho.cinco:
If there is a right time to have sex with him and cook for him before marriage, why is there not a right time to ask for money for rent before marriage?

rman: The OP is way smarter than majority of the people responding to her post. You all don't understand her at all.

SHE IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT TO ASK!

After reading a few of her comments I get it, I surprised 99% didn't.

All relationships including marriage is trade by barter, you give something to get something. Theer is nothing wrong if you cut through the chase and go straight to the point of what you want.

She even gave a few examples. To all those ladies calling her a LovePeddler, the term is equally applicable to you. No one, I repeat! No one sleeps with someone that offers them nothing, it may be money, time, affection etc

People even divorce because of lack of sex or babies.

So look critically and logically at your relationship and you will arrive at the same conclusion.

If ladies claim they have sex because they love and care, it is still because he is doing somethings right and satisfying some emotional needs. The moment he becomes a jerk in your eyes, will you still sleep with him?

A lot if ladies live way above their means, this lady asked an honest question, she wants rent and at what point should she ask? I don't have answers because I'm not a lady but all the hypocrites on this thread have failed.


Marriage o, boyfriend and girlfriend o, it is all trade by barter. I'm happy, the society has started throwing up more logical ladies like the OP. We can all pretend but the truth is what it is. 90% of the ladies here won't even hug a BF that forgets or didn't get them a gift on their birthday. Thats withdrawing your emotional attachment for a while because u didn't get something.

Emotional sentiments and societal expectations has made majority of the people zombies that can't decide for themselves.

Don't have sex on first date, don't cook until a few weeks, it is okay to sleep with him or her after proposal are just societal rules. You can conform and play by all these rules and still have a broken relationship. Or you can dare to be different and cut through the chase and ask for what you want straight up.

The OP is just being honest about her expectations, we should not judge based on our own sentiments and prejudice.

Bpriest: You made some good points. But your question is hummmmm people don't like to hear the truth get used to that. There's no right time to ask ooo if you feel like asking, ask am if he feels like giving he will giv am .
However I hope you have a job oo? After the rent What's next ? Lotions? Panties? Car?

Idowuogbo:
Wtf? Like seriously? So marriage/relationship don turn cash 'n' carry? U must be high on cabin biscuit. Wots wrong wiv u?

Flytefalls: I said "Faux feminism"... you are certainly no feminist, I agree .

Also, I take opinions as they are, and yours is truly foolish.. and you just happen to be a woman. Good luck with your rent

sauceEEP: I just love the way op is responding to banters being thrown at her,i shows that she is truly matured. I like ladies that still maintain their cool even at the highest level of provocation. As i man, i don't see anything wrong in paying the house rent of my boo provided the money is there.

Monstertrucks: People commenting please shorten ur comments to enable us read t.nAin't nobori haff time to read a long ass comment.

Sunbellar:

Is she really in distress? I think it's her own approach to sex. No one eats her piece without a real cost and I felt you had similar views

mizzocho.cinco:
If there is a right time to have sex with him and cook for him before marriage, why is there not a right time to ask for money for rent before marriage?

Ngokafor:




Dont listen to the broke guys insulting you,dealing with poverty is frustrating hence the venom being poured on you,they are so uncouth it's sickening!

.....as long your guy or any guy for that matter feels it's okay to expect their girlfriends do the 'wifely' stuff before marriage all in the name of looking out for a 'wife material',then a girl has the equal right to look out for a 'husband material' including financial security period!...so do whatever you feel will work for you ...any body pained can go jump off the cliff!

...as for the ladies insulting you as well...hypocrisy is written all over them cos they cannot swear that they've never collected a dime from their man or at least expected him to 'shake body'at some point in their relationship..nonsense!

jay bee: Never heard something so ridiculous in my life. So marriage so sacred is now being viewed alongside key principles of trade by barter.

I honestly don't know why this is still dragging geez

thoth: I sincerely think the OP is more realistic and more forthright than these hypocrites all over these forum trying to claim what they are not.
She has been putting forward sensible realistic life questions which are common and by statistics have higher occurrence and therefore a reliable base for one to formulate his actions on than majority of the people here whom are only trying to sound westernized or "seen it all" . i have not seen anyone reply his questions directly rather they throw about some insults and overused cliches which does not inform us any better.

I have only this to say to the OP as a man,

Don't ever make a request that is clearly too big for your man.
Wait till your gut tells you to make your move, you will know the right time to ask for anything.
Know that your boyfriend is a human being, a man, and there are certain expectations he has of you as a woman (whether what society thinks is right or wrong is not my concern),
You are in a game, there is no point being innocent about it, play your card well and you will get what you want.

here is my most important advice...never ask this sort of question in nairaland again, here is filled with fakes and people who wants to show off how oyibonised and superior they are than you.

i wish you good luck.

Idowuogbo:
Werey! Gas bill don land o!

bukatyne:

This thread is really an eye opener...

I now see why divorce rates have sky rocketed with issues of incompatibility which mean simply mean nothing to trade anymore...

If a husband losses his job or wife cannot 'give' sex (which in reality the husband gives) or cook, na die be that!

jay bee:

I just cant believe what i'm reading to be honest with you.

So it had be acceptable for a husband to go and seek sex elsewhere because the wife is pregnant and obviously can't trade during the later stages of her pregnancy.

mizzocho.cinco:
The same men claiming involving sex with money is shallow, yet 97% have paid one price or the other to get sex. If you go out at night to a bar or chilling lounge or other social gatherings, most of the men there will have the same motive, use their money to get sex, they don't see it as shallow, the call it being clever.

Some will lie about their financial status just to have their way with a woman and in most cases it will be to get in between her legs, its not called being shallow either. They are even praised for it. Point being when a man involves money with sex, its considered normal in society and some times women even play an accessory to it.

A man who cheats on a woman because he was no longer sexually attracted to her, is shown more pity than a woman who cheats because her sexual and emotional needs have not been met. One thing i noticed is that a woman would do anything to keep a good name, she will cohabit and claim that she has sex with him because she enjoys it, but we all know the real reason behind it is because you hope that he will see you as some one he can eventually commit to for the rest of your life.

You do not go all out to look good just to get a guy who can give you sex you can enjoy, you do it so that you can get a man who will be able to meet your high expectations. If its just for sex you enjoy, enlighten me on how you have turned down those nice gentlemen simply because they do not have an occupation your will be comfortable to brag about to your family and friends?

How many of your have blocked a guy's number after he made you pay the bill after he realised that he left his wallet at home or at work? You claim that you are independent and you have a high self-esteem, but how many of you after hitting 30 start trapping anything old enough to marry so simply because you don't want to be the sad women who spent the rest of her life alone, i guess the independence and self-esteem goes right out of the window then.

Some guys here will claim to be richer than Dangote, but the moment a girl suggests you go out on a date at a decent restaurant you will swear with all that you have within you. You will even accuse her of wanting to suck you dry. If you are as wealth as you portray yourself would a single dinner date suck you dry?

bukatyne:

Like I would say, there is a man for every woman.

As far as both of them have the same POV, then no problem