If you confirm that the babe is yours....please find a home for the second wife outside.2 let ur first wife still maintan her place in ur house.This second wife could be devil incarnate......I pray you dont regret ur decission if u send ur first wife away in the name of unproven pregnancy.....my opinion please.Regards.

Don't understand how having a son makes someone a true man.

Nigerian mentality sha.

Marriage should make you happy. If children come along that's just an added bonus.

To me, marrying more than one wife and not more than four wives, there is nothing wrong with that. But, it is only a man that can marry more than one wife.
From your story, you are not a man yet. A man will not be thinking of sending His wife away because he want to marry another woman or the other woman demanded it. A man that is been controlled by a woman to take decision of such is not a man.

Moreover, your story is not complete yet. You have not informed us why your wife can't get pregnated. We don't know if the two of you have been to the doctor for diagnosis. What of if you are the person that can impregnate the woman and the woman is having patience that one day she will have her own baby by you impregnating her.

A woman told you she is pregnant for you did not mean you are the owner of the unborn baby. Some women are so desperate to the extent that the will go out to sleep with other men to be pregnated and claim you are there one responsible for the pregnancy.

Firstly, let us know what is wrong with your wife or you yourself and I will advice your on what to do to have your wife pregnated by you.

In conclusion, before taking any decision, visit your doctor, you and your wife, to be sure you are the owner of your secretary pregnancy. But if Truely, you are the owner of the pregnancy and your secretary don't want to be a second wife, do not think of marrying her at all. She is going to be a big headache for you in future. Let her go and give birth to the child and pay the hospital bills and bills towards upbringing of the child.

HaroldFinch:
Marry them both. Call it any name you like, polygamy or whatever. Prophets did it in your Bible and God sanctioned it. Read about Sarah on one part and Hannah on the other. There's nowhere in the Bible that forbids you from polygamy. I think the passages even favour polygamy over monogamy. Monogamous marriage is simply western idea indoctrinated into Christianity , don't be slavish about it, it's never part of your religion.

White man tinz

OTOH, half-wife self na serious work to marry.

I see there are many fools here using foreign concepts( ie. Christianity) to judge this


Ask yourself what does your tradition dictate? Surely being African, you can get a second wife. ... especially with the excuse of the first wife being barren.

Your first wife should remain your first, mother of the house. ..nothing should change that. ..if the pregnant one outside can't deal with it then take your child and leave her

Best you still try all available means to having a child with your first wife. ..never give up on that

Midehi:

guy you nailed it, if i was the wife, i will gladly accept all you laid out here, i will thank the secretary for work well done...but the man should stand by the wife o cos traditionally at the end of everything the mantle might fall on the secretary cos she bare the apparent heir.

The man should just be very straightforward in his dealings with the Secretary, having fiercely spelt out everything accordingly!

ProphetUdeme, I faced a similar problem 2 years back. My advice is that you should keep the first wife, except if she decides to leave on her own. and then keep the second one, but in a different house. In my own case the first wife was very troublesome and she couldn't get pregnant, so after a serious fight I sent her to her parents, and married another wife. I have children. now. Blessed be.

Take note:
I didn't send the first wife away because of pregnancy, it was totally as a result of the quarrel and fights, and her parents weren't helping matters. Regards

ProphetUdeme:
they had love escapades many times. So its obviously certain that he is the father of the unborn child.

Really ! So various escapades equals to ownership of pregnancies. Why then did married couples have stray children, despite their everyday escapades. Please oooooo, no offense intended ooooooo0000000000

elnino3:
Two quick questions
1. Is it wrong for a woman to marry a second husband if the first one cannot impregnate her?
2. How are you sure the baby is truly yours?

Abeg help me ask am

lastmessenger:
Keep your child and keep your first wife. Meanwhile how do you know that you are the father of this unborn child?

Correct!

VickyRotex:


Yea, very important!

Lol. Nice proverbial quote Btw.

You want more holla at me - it's free of charge .

This makes me remember the days of Abraham and his wife in the bible.
Mehn those days are gone
But now, there's need to wait on the Lord

Brother,are you really born again or you have missed your way with the Lord.where is the place of prayer,faith hope and love?you have sinned against God,your wife and your generation.confess to your wife,THEN you two should plan a way OF training the child without you marry your secetary.SHE IS SENT FROM THE KINDOM OF DARKNESS TO DESTOY YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.BE WISSEEEEEE!

If you married mainly because of kids, the answer will be Yes but if you married because you love your spouse, the answer will be No.

My sister married for 14 years without a child. The husband ( now ex) asked her to go because she couldn't get him a child and also because of pressure from his family. Now over 3 years since they have separated, the man still waiting on Lord but to the glory of God my sister had twins about 2 months ago. Atimes the problem my not be your spouse.

[quote author=ProphetUdeme post=29897097][/quote]


May God forgive ur wicked heart. So u mean u even have that mad thought of sending ur wife away just bcoz of another woman that is pregnant for u? Is it ur wife's fault she cant get pregnant? Is she God? May God forgive u this wickedness u are about to do. I wish u all the badluck the devil has in store for u if u eventually send ur wife away.. May u never find peace in life and may misfortune follow u for life till ur life ends in hell fire as punishment for the great injustice u are about to do to ur wife who has done nothing bad to u.

Truckpusher:
You want more holla at me - it's free of charge .

Sure, would do!

You committed adultery which is punishable by stoning to death under Islamic law and you are here telling us about church doctrine. what is the psychological effect of polygamy? if their is going to be understanding between you and your first wife, then it's not a bad idea to take in another wife. the ration of marriagable women to men is 1:4 or more that is one man to four women or more according to statistic of how girl child dominate more, if all mature men should marry one wife then what about other women so no justice. abeg brother talk to your wife and rent another apartment for your second wife.

First of all you did not tell us whether your church is against adultery or not. If the answer is yes, then they should not be against you marrying a second wife ; but if the answer is no then you know that you got it wrong the first time by having extra marital affairs with one that is not your wife. Again you may not be too sure that you are the father of the baby until a test is conducted.
MY SUBMISSIONS:
1. Don't allow the lady to pack to your house because she wants to come and reap where she did not sow.
2. Still take care of the financial obligations associated to the pregnancy.
3. Definitely, you have to carry your wife along.
4. Still maintain your only wife.
5. If the baby is finally confirmed yours he or she automatically remains yours whether you marry the mother or not.
6. Render sincere apology to your wife and promise her that such thing will never happen again.

[quote author=ProphetUdeme post=29897097][/quote] I may not know many things about you but I know with certainty that you are not a member of Deeper Life like you claim. The most ignorant person in that church knows better than the errant caricature that you just featured. Anyway, the fiction will at least elicit some response for you. Subterfuge is what I call this.

Where u also a christian while doing d do with madam secretary??u are WICKED..

No

kingdenny:
you derailed the very moment you lived a life of adultery with your secretary, and the lord has abandoned you and right now you are dinning with the devil , when the secretary was making advances at you that was when the devil was making his last attempt at you , if you had resisted this temptation the lord would have blessed you with a child but u failed the last and final test. do u remember what happened to king David when he committed adultery with Uriah wife, the child still later died. you have had patience for 14 years but it was all for nothing cos you failed when it matter most. Ichabod has departed from Israel

Stop abeg!

Are you God to know that this was the final test and that God would have given them a child?

VickyRotex:


Sure, would do!

Anytime nau - This boy is caring.

ProphetUdeme:
they had love escapades many times. So its obviously certain that he is the father of the unborn child.

yes because the secretary signed a written contract stating that she will only commit adultery with the poster.Jeez

chimkaire:
Geeeez! Women! Una hate unsef no be small
How a single girl hopes/feels "dethroning" a wife to become a wife, beats me oooooooo
What's wrong with some of us gaan
Chai! Odiegwu ooooooo

But some are created for polygamy, why accuse them?

Pls dnt send Ur wife away because of that theif.

So the wife is waiting to be retained or sent away. Lord have mercy.

Elxandre:

Stop abeg!

Are you God to know that this was the final test and that God would have given them a child?

Because I know those who wait on the Lord , do not wait in vain. The devil in disguise of the secretary is attempting to put asunder what God has joined, Children are gift from God,
The Op has lost faith in him hence he sought to go bout it his way . And pls I am not God

ProphetUdeme:
thanks for recognising that. Some of them push the blame on me as if am the person

I was saying it cause they're all wasting their precious time writing long answers to help you, and you will do nothing with the answers...

[quote author=ProphetUdeme post=29897097][/quote]
congratulations on your new found love and pregnancy.
I pray God gives Mrs Udoh a reason to smile, and may his countenance shine upon her.
may she become fruitful like Hannah, and may her tears be wiped away.
#peace

elnino3:
Two quick questions
1. Is it wrong for a woman to marry a second husband if the first one cannot impregnate her?
2. How are you sure the baby is truly yours?

U spoke my mind....ur head dey dere