I have read everyones reply.
And I'd like to thank everyone for their input.

I've made the decision to stay with my husband.
And put this part of my life behind me, look to the future with my husband, starting our family.

I do love him dearly and deep down I believe it's worth fighting for.
Marriages aren't supposed to be easy, especially a mixed race & mixed culture one!

I'm glad I asked for people views, at least it gave me the chance to hear other people and take opinions on board before making mine.

I feel good about my choice (It's me who will live with it), Now I must forget the past, and look towards the future

Na because he give you disease wey you take know say he cheat on you. You think say na only one time? mumu

@Hurtin

It's up to you to what you decide. Whatever anyone says on here will not make up your mind for you. Your heart knows what it wants to do!

However, I am concerned about 'we seem to spend a lot of our hard earn money on family in Nigeria'

If you part ways in 5 years time, how would you feel about having spent a lot of your money taking care of 'his family in Nigeria'?

I hope your marriage works but please love this man with your head screwed on! Let him take care of his family in Nigeria with what is left of what he earns after you have both taken care of your living expenses!

'Loving you, cheating on you and leaving you' hurts a lot less than 'loving you, cheating on you, spending all your money on his family and then leaving you'!

rockhaven:

my sister.nigerian men are polygamous by instict.even nigerian pastors often  change cunts for  health reasons.maybe you dont have he features nigerian men cannot do without such as  a  big ass.
do forgive him and remind him to always use condom.most of the women here are in worse situation but cannot afford to be as honest as you are.
90percent of men on the  queue at nigeria univerisities  female hostels in the evening are married. you are so correct upstairs

stay married to him but use  female condom

hurtin:

I have read everyones reply.
And I'd like to thank everyone for their input.

I've made the decision to stay with my husband.
And put this part of my life behind me, look to the future with my husband, starting our family.

I do love him dearly and deep down I believe it's worth fighting for.
Marriages aren't supposed to be easy, especially a mixed race & mixed culture one! [size=14pt]blessed are you for knowing this at your young age.  
[/size]
I'm glad I asked for people views, at least it gave me the chance to hear other people and take opinions on board before making mine.

I feel good about my choice (It's me who will live with it), Now I must forget the past, and look towards the future

you just showed you are a better person than most people here would give you credit for. thanks and pls tell him to be carefull.  no toto is worth dying for and no jezebel is worth loosing a good wife for.

JustGood:

Na because he give you disease wey you take know say he cheat on you. You think say na only one time? mumu

you are just bad. she stands taller than you and your likes.

seyibrown:

@Hurtin

It's up to you to what you decide. Whatever anyone says on here will not make up your mind for you. Your heart knows what it wants to do!

However, I am concerned about 'we seem to spend a lot of our hard earn money on family in Nigeria'

If you part ways in 5 years time, how would you feel about having spent a lot of your money taking care of 'his family in Nigeria'?

I hope your marriage works but please love this man with your head screwed on! Let him take care of his family in Nigeria with what is left of what he earns after you have both taken care of your living expenses!

is taking money from your mrs to give your folks in vogue? i have seen this in some other thread recently.

If you truly love him, want your marriage then stock your freezer with his type of drinks.

Encourage him to drink at home mostly and once awhile at the club.

Give him another chance and believe his word.

If he was serious he would stop drinking.

He has as much SACRIFICE to make as you have. Now that he has proven incapable of handling FREEDOM, is it not time he's a wee "GROUNDED"? For a start, he's been a naughty boy so no more clubbing or going to places that might jeopardise his FRAGILE self discipline.Or in lieu, can you go with him?. Could you put a, "tail" on him if you can't stop him from "crawling"? Personally I think being drunk is a rather weak excuse for a man to cheat given the thought processes of a man. Women? Maybe. Not a man. And i think he confessed to you because he brought a PACKAGE back to the house with him and not from remorse. I won't say you should leave him. You just have to recognise you have a JOB to do!!

What a coincidence that the first time he cheated on you in 4yrs, that he picked up an STD?  And he gave it to you. If he really was sorry he wouldn't have slept with you after sleeping with that tramp. The first thing he would have done is go to the STD clinic and treat it straight away. Its very straight-forward really. He knowingly put your life at risk. And by the way I hope he hasn't destroyed your fertility because for all you know he could have given you Chlamydia years ago!!

am not sure he's been truthful to you their's more than what he told u,just try n sit him down,plead with him to open up to you what really is his reason for wanting to leave and also pray for him.am sure if u are sincere God will answer you.

JJYOU:

you are just bad. she stands taller than you and your likes.

being stupid is not what it takes to stand tall

sara j:

What a coincidence that the first time he cheated on you in 4yrs, that he picked up an STD? And he gave it to you. If he really was sorry he wouldn't have slept with you after sleeping with that tramp. The first thing he would have done is go to the STD clinic and treat it straight away. Its very straight-forward really. He knowingly put your life at risk. And by the way I hope he hasn't destroyed your fertility because for all you know he could have given you Chlamydia years ago!!

Thank you jare. some people would rather not use their brains and then they will cry foul later

crownroyal:

am not sure he's been truthful to you their's more than what he told u,just try n sit him down,plead with him to open up to you what really is his reason for wanting to leave and also pray for him.am sure if u are sincere God will answer you.

Thank you jare. The woman is scared of losing the guy and so she is not wanting to think about the fact that a clubbing man who says he's only cheated the time that he transmitted a disease to his wife is most likely a cassanova who's been playing around all the while. Besides, he still goes clubbing . . . no doubt he's still doing same things

sara j:

What a coincidence that the first time he cheated on you in 4yrs, that he picked up an STD?  And he gave it to you. If he really was sorry he wouldn't have slept with you after sleeping with that tramp. The first thing he would have done is go to the STD clinic and treat it straight away. Its very straight-forward really. He knowingly put your life at risk. And by the way I hope he hasn't destroyed your fertility because for all you know he could have given you Chlamydia years ago!!

To be completely honest,
I Knew something was wrong (I had no idea what, just that something wasn't right) the night he'd done it , as I'd called him the morning after and he wasn't his normal self. Then a few days later he confessed it to me.
I wouldn't of found out about the one night stand, had he not told me. As it hadn't happened in our local area nor was he with any of our friends when it happened.

we'd slept together the once before he'd told me.
So I suggested the GUM Visit - to be safe!
Then we had to wait for 10days to pass before we could get tested. And we'd both got Chlamydia, all other tests came up clear.

So I think I'd know if something was wrong - if it happened again - Even if I didn't know what the problem was.

hurtin:


We've Not Had Children yet, as we've not had the money to raise a child. we seem to spend a lot of our hard earn money on family in Nigeria.
And have only just started to try for a family now.

Do you mean you guys have being avoiding pregnancy by protecting yourself when having sex?  how the hell did you contact Chlamydia?

And have only just started to try for a family now.
so now you guys are having sex without condom?

36 years old and still clubbing. I did not want to say it but I will say it now. He IS PLAYING YOU. It is not the first time he has cheated on you. He probably caught an STD and used it as a way to let you know. Almost 40 and still hopping from club to club. Keep making excuses for him

too_soon:

Do you mean you guys have being avoiding pregnancy by protecting yourself when having sex?  how the hell did you contact Chlamydia?

And have only just started to try for a family now.
so now you guys are having sex without condom?

No I was on the pill.
Now I'm not.

justgood and saraj thank you very much. This last one she added has even put another layer on it. So you held off having kids to take care pf other people's children in Nigeria. What is wrong with you. He gave you chlamydia which by the way can cause infertility. What exactly is your gain in this whole thing? I can tell you one thing for sure I do not know any Nigerian woman that will tell her husband that it is okay for us to hold off having kids so they can take care of other family members. He will not even dare say it to a Nigerian woman. I was going to say the man was stupid but unfortunately that will not be true.

I didn't mind waiting to start a family.
I'm only 28!
As long as I have 1 - 2 children before I'm 35, I'll be very happy.

hurtin:

No I was on the pill.
Now I'm not.

good, that is the solution to a successful marriage, Stop using pills and start having babies.

Thank You

hurtin:

I didn't mind waiting to start a family.
I'm only 28!
As long as I have 1 - 2 children before I'm 35, I'll be very happy.

and your husband will equally be happy too, I wish you happy marriage life!!!No weapon Fashion against you shall prosper!!!Can i hear you say !!!Amen!!!

I have read everyones reply.
And I'd like to thank everyone for their input.

I've made the decision to stay with my husband.
And put this part of my life behind me, look to the future with my husband, starting our family.

I do love him dearly and deep down I believe it's worth fighting for.
Marriages aren't supposed to be easy, especially a mixed race & mixed culture one!

I'm glad I asked for people views, at least it gave me the chance to hear other people and take opinions on board before making mine.

I feel good about my choice (It's me who will live with it), Now I must forget the past, and look towards the future

Nice decision. Happy to hear that. Gudluck

Why would a man risk his health, his marriage and his reputation for a little nookie (pussy) on the side and blame it on booze.  Like I say “Tom drunk but Tom’s no fool”

God I yearn for the day when I can read something like this from the women on this forum “My husband will never cheat because he is too fine and decent” instead of making idiotic excuses like “I love him, it’s the first time he cheated, I know he loves me, he said he’s sorry. . . . and the list goes on.  It’s like their husbands cheat and they don’t seem to mind or even care.

Then you have some good-for-nothing men on here cheering the lady telling her “yea, give him another chance, you are a wonderful lady because you forgive your husband, tell him next time use a condom” . . . oh spare me with your pretentious ramblings.

And just when you think you have heard it all, here comes the “preachers” quoting scriptures to justify cheating husbands.

Now let's turn the table for a moment. . .

*turning the table* - I wonder what the reactions would’ve been if it was the woman who got drunk, had sex with a stranger and gave her husband Chlamydia

Must admit that davidyland, gamechange and Justgood responses were honest

1 love

epi:

Why would a man risk his health, his marriage and his reputation for a little nookie (pussy) on the side and blame it on booze. Like I say “Tom drunk but Tom’s no fool”

God I yearn for the day when I can read something like this from the women on this forum “My husband will never cheat because he is too fine and decent” instead of making idiotic excuses like “I love him, it’s the first time he cheated, I know he loves me, he said he’s sorry. . . . and the list goes on. It’s like their husbands cheat and they don’t seem to mind or even care.

Then you have some good-for-nothing men on here cheering the lady telling her “yea, give him another chance, you are a wonderful lady because you forgive your husband, tell him next time use a condom” . . . oh spare me with your pretentious ramblings.

And just when you think you have heard it all, here comes the “preachers” quoting scriptures to justify cheating husbands.

Now let's turn the table for a moment. . .

*turning the table* - I wonder what the reactions would’ve been if it was the woman who got drunk, had sex with a stranger and gave her husband Chlamydia

Must admit that davidyland, gamechange and Justgood responses were honest

1 love

open your own trend on this topic (MY WIFE CHEATED ON ME) and you will definately get our opinions!!!

I understand what you are going through. However sorry to say this, He's likely to still cheat on you and it doesn't change the fact that he loves you.

The truth is being drunk doesn't make you do what do not want to do, it only makes you high and bring out the feeling inside of you.

He still loves you, just let him know that he needs to know his limit when he drinks.

all the best!!!!

Most of u here talk as if u do not know what u're sayin,how can u tell a grown man to stop drinkin?If u love ur man my dear,go to club wit him,do things he loves doin wit him,(but not drinkin if u do not want to)always make him feel he is d best,try to improve on ur bedmatics, but never ever make d mistake of makin him feel u have control over him or d marriage.All the people here advisin u to leave ur husband,its either they've never been married,or no man is willin to marry them because of their attitude or they do not wish u wel at all.Nobody holy pass.A gentle man is a person whose social ills have not been dug out.So that tells u that every man,one way or d other has his own lapses.U do not destroy ur marriage because he cheated,rather u try as much as possible to make him a better man

@ Tiniyata
God bless you my broda too many sad people in this thread, God help any body that brings up their issue here for advice.

Sorry, your husband has been cheating. If you want to get back at him and you happen to be in Nigeria, call me.See clean babe.

sweetpain:

Sorry, your husband has been cheating. If you want to get back at him and you happen to be in Nigeria, call me.See clean babe.

Lol
I'm a good girl

There will be no getting back from me.
I'm not a two timer, cheater or what ever else you want to call it.
It's either in a relationship or not.

@ dremoney


ur nationality's trippin innit? british/american, u no well, kilo nwa kiri?, who u dey dull?




My mother is British, My Father is American.
I was born in Kentucky, lived their for 6 yrs, then we moved to Yorkshire as my grandmother got ill and needed round the clock care from my mother.

Are you beautiful, sexy and romantic? I'm sure it's an internet-propelled married. He actually doesn't love you as such, he only wanted to get his green card, and I'm sure he's got that. Men are always men; we cheat once in a while.

hurtin:


Lol
I'm a good girl

Of course you are, I can tell.

You have to understand that any woman who has been involved in marriage for some time will always have a story to tell if they want to be honest. In marriage there is companionship and of course there is sex and they both dont necessarily appreciate at the same pace.

I dont think your husband loves you any less regardless of whatever you've heard.Sometimes its a man's way of expressing freedom from the 'bondage' modern marriages impose.Many women make hasty wrong decisions because of this, and eventually end up with lonely and frustrated lives.

I am glad you havent said he has not been forthcoming with his bedtime obligation. And of course he has no right to come home with chlamydia or any other.In time you will forget or probably joke over it.

rockhaven:

outstrip,pls add me to ur YIM ojevgc

What kind of underground business is going on here

@poster Pls find another man that will love you for who u r and forget about him after all he said he does not deserve u.