GL:

i think women only have problems doing these things for guys because they don't want to be taken advantage of. if men were perfect (but no one is) i guess majority of women would even hand-wash for guys. we tend to be wired that way, see how women go to extreme lengths for their kids. i'm sure many women want to be able to do the same for their man, problem is that once you start doing it he takes you for granted.

He takes you for granted? You say it like you've met the whole bunch of men! What will you say if a guy says that he is not going to bring home his entire paycheck of 450,000 but will only come home with 280,000 cos he knows that the wife probably won't appreciate the sum anyway? Or cos he knows that she probably won't put it to excellent use eitherway? Would you agree with such reasoning?

GL:

btw, i'm not for a woman abandoning housekeeping totally. i just dont think she has to do it herself if she doesnt want to, she can get hired help.

And there, I agree with you. It is her responsibility to see to it that it is done, IMO. Whether she does it herself or not is another matter entirely.

ancel:

He takes you for granted? You say it like you've met the whole bunch of men! What will you say if a guy says that he is not going to bring home his entire paycheck of 450,000 but will only come home with 280,000 cos he knows that the wife probably won't appreciate the sum anyway? Or cos he knows that she probably won't put it to excellent use eitherway? Would you agree with such reasoning?

i don't think all men are like that, but a good number of them are. but, you know how life is; you hear so many negative stories and you try to protect yourself. as for me, i've had more experiences with guys like this than with the appreciative guys. truth be told, it's in films and novels, and sometimes from friends' stories, that i come across the nicer guys.

about the guy who won't bring home his entire paycheck, i support him. if the wife doesn't appreciate anything he might as well save the rest.

GL, I dunno about the ladies but as for me, I will only agree with that guy on two conditions:
1. It is established that his wife is ACTUALLY like that.
2. He has discussed it with her and she is not ready to change.

Those two conditions illustrate that she is immature and needs to be handled like a child. The man should open a secret account and keep the "excess" there, for their own financial good.

But in this case, we see unmarried ladies saying that WHEN they get married, they WILL NOT do so and so. Is that indeed wise, unless they know for sure that the husband will be demeaning and non-appreciative of their efforts, and will never see things from the right perspective of gratefulness?

May Thunder fire that wife or girlfriend that will chop my moni and not wash my clothe. Na who born the maga?

ancel:

But in this case, we see unmarried ladies saying that WHEN they get married, they WILL NOT do so and so. Is that indeed wise, unless they know for sure that the husband will be demeaning and non-appreciative of their efforts, and will never see things from the right perspective of gratefulness?

we all say we'll do this/that but it's easier said than done. it's kinda like emotionally planning for the unfortunate event that you could get married to such a guy while hoping/praying that you won't. it's harder for women to make these decisions once they are in the marriage even though they know they should. when you get married you sort of see the guy as a child and you keep making excuses for him and taking nonsense from him. so i think it's not a bad thing to plan ahead, as long as the plans aren't written in stone.

GL:

we all say we'll do this/that but it's easier said than done. it's kinda like emotionally planning for the unfortunate event that you could get married to such a guy while hoping/praying that you won't. it's harder for women to make these decisions once they are in the marriage even though they know they should. when you get married you sort of see the guy as a child and you keep making excuses for him and taking nonsense from him. so i think it's not a bad thing to plan ahead, as long as the plans aren't written in stone.

GL, I get your point. But maybe cos I am a guy, it doesn't quite fit.

I strongly believe in the power of preconditioned thoughts in defining human experience by subtly imposing ideals into the subconscious, poised to infect realities as they emerge. And it seems to me, that many ladies follow such preconditioned thoughts without prior rationalizing, it's like eating junk food.

e.g. A girl EXPECTS her mother-in-law to be a crone, a haggard most-evil witch, and she gets married with that notion. Even if the mother-in-law would have been nice, she also expects the wife to be nasty to her so when she senses the "defensive counter-attack" that the new bride cannot really hide, she switches into attack as well. Then the chain goes on and on. At least that's my opinion, it seems preconceived notions like this harm ladies more than guys. Why is it that we won't generally see guys carrying such preconceived notions (and maybe opening threads about them, say except the sarcastic one started by harakiri)? Or is it just me? Most times, I think guys even tend to dispel such notions, saying "In my own home, it will be different. I will do things my way." And maybe that is why the evil father-in-law figure never appears either. My 2 cents.

@ harakiri, i agree with you that issues like the one in this thread ruins a lot of marriages, another angle to it is that this should ordinarily be done out of love but we shouldn't ignore the fact that it the role of the wife. As for those ranting about westernization, even whites- brits, americans, black americans, imbibe this fact into their marriages at least to keep and preserve it.

if you want her to wash your clothes an do all the house choas that means you have to provide everything that she and the children needs. But also remember she is not your slave but your help meet, someone to assist you.

In this era of tecnology, isn't it about putting clothes into the washing machine? Who cares about who does it as long as it is done?

this issue is based on understanding each other,during our university days(i n my hubby)he normally washes n i do assit n threre are times he gives to drycleaners,nw dat we are married,he gives his cloth to the dry cleaners mostly shirts n suits,atimes natives,i only wash some petty ones,so it is based on ur financial capacity n understanding

From the questions i see on NL,
I can conclude that,

Most posters are still very young.
Most are from dysfunctional homes ( a home where the mom does her duties, it will reflect on the kids reasoning and attitude)
Most are immature.
Most are plain dull/silly.
Most live in a fantasy world. Too much watching off Super sweet sixteen and the Kardashians.

This came from a woman. It's hot.

He's the head of the home, if he sticks to that mandate, then you have to, 2 avoid quarrels

i dont see why this topic is causing alot of arguments the truth of the matter is that pple shld work out wot happens in their marriage if in a house the wife decides not to wash the husbands clothes and there is peace in that house doesnt mean that the same thing can occur in the next house.a lot of guys and ladies singing a tune when they are single wld find out that its not like that on the other side so everybody shld know wot works best for them and their famlies beside if there is love the issue of lundry wont come up.its also nice that the men help out in the house afterall its not the wifes or husbands house.

la amour:

i dont see why this topic is causing alot of arguments the truth of the matter is that pple shld work out wot happens in their marriage if in a house the wife decides not to wash the husbands clothes and there is peace in that house doesnt mean that the same thing can occur in the next house.a lot of guys and ladies singing a tune when they are single wld find out that its not like that on the other side so everybody shld know wot works best for them and their famlies beside if there is love the issue of lundry wont come up.its also nice that the men help out in the house afterall its not the wifes or husbands house.

thank you o my person, this thread don dey pass JAMB sef

@la armour-tell them oh. Some people just start arguing and expects everybody to agree with them as if they know everything.

Ginky baby  no be you start the thread ni? Why you dey back out? Na you go pack the sh!+ wey you start. LOL

GIRLS if una like allow your hubby to get TLC from elsewhere, you'll realise that there are uncountable chicks out there just waiting for an opening to snatch your man. She'll do everything you arent and , the rest will be history

jayflex:

GIRLS if una like allow your hubby to get TLC from elsewhere, you'll realise that there are uncountable chicks out there just waiting for an opening to snatch your man. She'll do everything you arent and , the rest will be history

Is the tender loving care only meant for men?
Wat ab t guys giving their wives the same?

@ancel-am not backing out.It's just that some people argue in a senseless manner and expect everybody to go along with them as if it's by force. BTW,this thread is not shit,I created it because I needed honest replies/opinions and not for revenge like *&*%#.

@ginky

Is it compulsory for a man to provide for his family?

i fink it is good nd not compulsory. depends on d level of d family anyways

SHALOM

Is it compulsory for a wife to make love to her husband? if it is compulsory, then It is compulsory to wash your husbands clothes, but BF? i mean what the hell?

I never washed his clothes when i was dating him

!amebo no1:

Is it compulsory for a wife to make love to her husband? if it is compulsory, then It is compulsory to wash your husbands clothes, but BF? i mean what the hell?

I never washed his clothes when i was dating him

Haba how can you compare rubbing body to rubbing hands?

How far na?

Even for me this topic nor be issue. I mean we have washing machines.

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . . . . i guess i can wash my husband clothes. both hand n machine wash but onl because he pays the bills

Boyfriend - if he ask me politely to help him put his cloathes in the washing machine then ofcus i will but handwash it . . . . . . .mba unless he is REALLY sick.

honestly, it depends. If you have washing machine anyone can do that and depending on the time avaliable to both parties. If there is no one avaliable in the house (only the couples) and the wife is always there she should help out with it. It doesn't take away anything from her and it does not reduce her from being the wife. If my washing machine is bad I do the washing occassionally to help her. atimes I wash her own cloths depending on the situation. It is about understanding but what men hate is a woman trying to abuse such privilegde.

this topic na wa oohh,from the begining women have their duties and men have theirs.

GL:

most ladies here aren't saying they can NOT wash their husbands clothes. they are saying they CAN but they are NOT obliged to do so. and even more importantly, many of us have posted that we would gladly do a guys laundry IF he is appreciative of our efforts.

seriously, is it too much to ask that you appreciate what a woman does for you. i think the problem is many men don't want to feel grateful, they want to feel like the woman has to do it since they do something else.

dats not very wise

@pharoh,
thanks for your wisdom here.

@lovehatemoi,
pls grow up and stop getting worked up over nothing.

@ poster n all with confused tots"

whats the big deal washing his/her clothes, it doesnt matter, what matter is d state of affairs between the couple, not every1 can afford a washing machine neven when 1 can where is d light to power it?? washing doesnt n would never take away anything from u as long as u use nice n mild detergents. sometimes i go to d market to buy stuffs 4 us, i ve done n will do if d need n circumstances warrant things, more than washing clothes.

what our generation lack is tolerance n wanting to live fairy tale life styles of movies.

thankfully mine does n gladly too n if am around n less busy i help with rinsing, so when am at d market i feel proud doing that too, cos i know am helping out.

dont let television deceive u.

Oooops, wrong post!