emmatok:


Ike should Divorce her sharp sharp and get another woman she is not worth the stress.

thats what i said to him but he says her parents will hold him resposible plus "ike" is old so he wants a young girl

Tell us about ur attitude first. . . .

This is quite bad. What sort of problems does he have at work?

Its not easy being isolated as well no family nearby.

Do you guys still sleep together? Or is he always in a bad mood?

no1madman:

Tell us about your attitude first. . . .

      what atitude?

this Topic reminds me of my past, I was once in this poster shoes before, although i dont have problem with accent, i speak fluently, He is naturally a mean man, sadist, psychopath and very abusive, he's also insecure and he bullys me almost everyday,except when he receives his salary or some money somewhere, he will be in a good mood for two days only, then we are back to square 1 of such attitudes,
   I cant complain, i cant abuse him, cause i was taught never to raise my voice on any man, I swallowed his deameaning words, cried most nights, prayed everymoment to God, then eventually wish something terrible will happen to me , so i can just die and live in peace, after being so tired of life, But death didnt come,
   One fateful evening, i watched a famous Pastor preach on T.V and his topic was ; Why bear to live your life in misery with a bad partner who constantly abuses you and feel someday he will change after series of prayers?
 Some people can change, but some cant, ITS PART OF THEIR WAY OF LIFE TO BE who they are,
 After listening to the sermon from the Pastor , tears streaming down my face, i just made up my mind, Am going back to Nija, even if the economy is hard, people suffering, I will make it and start all over again, as long as am not lazy , with God by my side,
 Thank God, he travelled down to Birhimingham to visit , his dear friend and shud be back in 5days time, Next morning, i arranged my clothes, drop a note, carried my travelling bags and clothes, Off, i went to the airport, with my passport, bought a ticket and few hrs, i am back to Nija, I was shaken, but relived, I know Nija is hard but i prefer it here, I had to find my way home to my mum and brothers,
   I went home to my mum, it was a tearful reunion, i thank God, everyday am out of that dungeon, I am very successful with my career now, am very comfortable,content, grateful to God for His mercies and blessings, i now know , how to select and be with a good guy, instead of a bad one, I shud av been married again, but am scared of marriage, sometimes i do have nightmares about him and i pray God will give me heart to accept that there are good men out there, that will not become bad after marriage,
  I just pray.

@Poster,

I guess everything is much more complicated than meets the eye.

Since we cannot hear his version of the story, can you answer a few questions:
(1) did you actually date for a long time and got to know each other well before marriage?
(2) What character do you have that might really be annoying him?
(3) What kind of woman was he looking for before marrying you and do you meet that standard or does he feel duped?
(4)Did you marry him for love or as a meal ticket?
(5) Why would he just suddenly feel that you are basically a mistake in his London life? Is he suggesting that he should have made you a wife living in Naija? Is that an option for you? Would you happier staying in Naija?
(6) Do you try to play any positive role in his life like finding out how his day was at work or is nagging the only way he can get you to listen to his problems/worries?
(7) Have you let your family know the situation?
( Is there any of his family members you are close to?

Living abroad is difficult. You will have seen how much he has to work and the number of bills to pay.
As for work, that should not be the issue as he knows that some time will pass before papers are processed.
Even then the economy is not great now and work is not guaranteed. A man who decided to marry should be able to feed two mouths without complaining.  I think  there are some underlying problems that both of you have not been sincere enough to discuss.
As for accent, he knew that before marrying you. He can buy you cds to practice pronounciation. He should have married a British woman.

Don't let people convince you that you can kill and claim self defense.  Good luck.

victorian:

this Topic reminds me of my past, I was once in this poster shoes before, although i dont have problem with accent, i speak fluently, He is naturally a mean man, sadist, psychopath and very abusive, he's also insecure and he bullys me almost everyday,except when he receives his salary or some money somewhere, he will be in a good mood for two days only, then we are back to square 1 of such attitudes,
I cant complain, i cant abuse him, cause i was taught never to raise my voice on any man, I swallowed his deameaning words, cried most nights, prayed everymoment to God, then eventually wish something terrible will happen to me , so i can just die and live in peace, after being so tired of life, But death didnt come,
One fateful evening, i watched a famous Pastor preach on T.V and his topic was ; Why bear to live your life in misery with a bad partner who constantly abuses you and feel someday he will change after series of prayers?
Some people can change, but some cant, ITS PART OF THEIR WAY OF LIFE TO BE who they are,
After listening to the sermon from the Pastor , tears streaming down my face, i just made up my mind, Am going back to Nija, even if the economy is hard, people suffering, I will make it and start all over again, as long as am not lazy , with God by my side,
Thank God, he travelled down to Birhimingham to visit , his dear friend and shud be back in 5days time, Next morning, i arranged my clothes, drop a note, carried my travelling bags and clothes, Off, i went to the airport, with my passport, bought a ticket and few hrs, i am back to Nija, I was shaken, but relived, I know Nija is hard but i prefer it here, I had to find my way home to my mum and brothers,
I went home to my mum, it was a tearful reunion, i thank God, everyday am out of that dungeon, I am very successful with my career now, am very comfortable,content, grateful to God for His mercies and blessings, i now know , how to select and be with a good guy, instead of a bad one, I shud av been married again, but am scared of marriage, sometimes i do have nightmares about him and i pray God will give me heart to accept that there are good men out there, that will not become bad after marriage,
I just pray.

so are u saying marrying from naija does not work ,because my parents has been pestering to come back to naija and marry a naija girl to take to england

@ victorian

i feel you girl. if you must know my brother is available and searching, and i sure can vouch for his character.

How long did you date/know the guy before marriage? Was it arranged? Sometimes, the mere fact that a man lives outside Naija makes most girls in Naija to say yes without knowing the man. This is one of bad things you get, when you dont do your homework very well.

it would also be nice to hear the husbands side of th story. obviously people are are making judgments based on wife complaint.
there are always too sides to a coin.

remove that thought of killing ur husband frm ur mind or else u wont have anyone to blame when u become a veteran in prison

The old me would get a job, and hardly be home for his nagging. I would be out enjoying myself; but no cheating though. Men don't respect you when you are married and cheating. They will use you for sex only. Leave him if things don't get better after a while

I try not to ask for people's opinion, cause they have their own problems anyway; their own baggage.

well lily i really understand
its more irritating and disturbing when a man nags rather than the wife
but here is few tips hope it helps

- communicate with him. let him know he is hurting you.everyman has a soft spot makesure you know ur husbands'
- take classes or lessons on improving ur phonetics
- be more understanding: its not easy to live and work in the uk esp when only one party is the source of income
- pray more 4 him
-support him and always tell him words of encouragement


http://feminineangle..com/

U need to ride his pony more often honey! ride it well well and that frustration will turn into joy, i promise, put your back into it!

engineerd:

U need to ride his pony more often honey! ride it well well and that frustration will turn into joy, i promise, put your back into it!

10 over 10.

oti-igba:

      what atitude?

This ugly story is one-sided. . .read b/w d lines boy!

engineerd:

U need to ride his pony more often honey! ride it well well and that frustration will turn into joy, i promise, put your back into it!

sex is not enough. . . .somethin is FUCKIN wrong somewhere. . .

emmatok:

NA!!! NO WAY NEAR.

YOU NEED TO BRING THAT NYANSH HERE FOR SOME SPANKING, THAT NYANSH WILL GROW BIGGER I ASSURE YOU.

NO THANKS, am chill this way

story is 2 one sided, first she said it was pronunciation then later it was accent. She probably has an english problem. Its one thing to be lazy and another to be an uneducated degree holder

@ Oti-gba, is not by coming to nija to marry is the problem, is about YOU!    are you ready for marraige? do u love yourself enough to love and care for someonelse, you call your second half? do u believe respect is mutual? and are you ready to come down from your high horse, cause you live abroad and be ready to be humane to your intending spouse. Divorce is worldwide, bad marriage is worldwide too, its not about the country , but yourself,   Anybody can suceed anywhere and can live the life of luxury, as long as you are selfless, hardworking, dedicated , wise thinker and above all prayerful to God & he will crown your efforts with good success, its a simple ideology, that has worked for me and its still working.

@ snowdrops, thanks for your generous offer,   

otokx:

story is 2 one sided, first she said it was pronunciation then later it was accent. She probably has an english problem. Its one thing to be lazy and another to be an uneducated degree holder

I don't get you.

What is the relationship/sin-link between lazy and being an uneducated degree holder?

victorian:

Thank God, he travelled down to Birhimingham to visit , his dear friend and shud be back in 5days time, Next morning, i arranged my clothes, drop a note, carried my travelling bags and clothes, Off, i went to the airport, with my passport, bought a ticket and few hrs, i am back to Nija, I was shaken, but relived, I know Nija is hard but i prefer it here, I had to find my way home to my mum and brothers,
   I went home to my mum, it was a tearful reunion, i thank God, everyday am out of that dungeon, I am very successful with my career now, am very comfortable,content, grateful to God for His mercies and blessings, i now know , how to select and be with a good guy, instead of a bad one, I shud av been married again, but am scared of marriage, sometimes i do have nightmares about him and i pray God will give me heart to accept that there are good men out there, that will not become bad after marriage,
  I just pray.

Well done!

Be patient, wait untill you get your NI, register with the Job Centre, they will find you a job within days ie if you don't mind cleaning jobs or kitchen assistant in schools.
If after a few months, his attitude has not changed, then you can choose between your sanity or him.

the importer and the importee are both 2 be blamed!!.

4 him 2 be complaining abt ur accept prolly means na 'arrangee marriage', no courtship, they prolly were introduced by parents/siblings, tru pictures, did like 6months on long distance dating/relationship and fiam, marriage don set!!.

1.the bobo didnt want to marry any of the 'bad/independent/bossy females in the uk, he tot a naija wife wud be ideal.

2. the babe just heard uk, and she instantly fell in love, saw a ticket out of nigeria/poverty.

me thinks both of dem deserve wat they got!

victorian:

@ Oti-gba, is not by coming to nija to marry is the problem, is about YOU! are you ready for marraige? do u love yourself enough to love and care for someonelse, you call your second half? do u believe respect is mutual? and are you ready to come down from your high horse, cause you live abroad and be ready to be humane to your intending spouse. Divorce is worldwide, bad marriage is worldwide too, its not about the country , but yourself, Anybody can suceed anywhere and can live the life of luxury, as long as you are selfless, hardworking, dedicated , wise thinker and above all prayerful to God & he will crown your efforts with good success, its a simple ideology, that has worked for me and its still working.

@ snowdrops, thanks for your generous offer,

yes i am ready to do all u said, and i dont mind were a woman is from so long as she respect me, and i respect her i am a very hard working man i can look after a woman properly at the moment i am with an oyibo woman not for passport or anything because i have a british passport, and she is having problem getting pregnant, my parent pressuring me to come and marry a young girl from naija who can get pregnant, i really dont want to do that becuse this oyibo i ve been with her for 5 years i kno her very well but the girl my parents is going to find for me i dont kno her, very well what if we end up having the same problem or even more,

oti-igba:

yes i am ready to do all u said, and i dont mind were a woman is from so long as she respect me, and i respect her i am a very hard working man i can look after a woman properly at the moment i am with an oyibo woman not for passport or anything because i have a british passport, and she is having problem getting pregnant, my parent pressuring me to come and marry a young girl from naija who can get pregnant, i really dont want to do that becuse this oyibo i ve been with her for 5 years i kno her very well but the girl my parents is going to find for me i dont kno her, very well what if we end up having the same problem or even more,

You cannot get your woman pregnant and you think it is the woman'f fault.

Do you have any scientific proof that is her fault alone and not yours alone? It could be you, it could be her, it be both of you.

If you are the reason for the infertility, another woman will not get a child from you.

Sometimes its always good to hear from the acuser and the acused

agabaI23:

You cannot get your woman pregnant and you think it is the woman'f fault.

Do you have any scientific proof that is her fault alone and not yours alone? It could be you, it could be her, it be both of you.

If you are the reason for the infertility, another woman will not get a child from you.

before u start jugding no its not me i have proof and its not her because she has kids already, so whats your problen?

dump the mugu

na wa for all this international marriages Oh! thank God I met my wife here!

Why don't you have a conversation with him? His response should determine if the marriage is worth saving or not.

have you forgotten "TILL DEATH DO US PATH"
Divorce is a sin.
Pray for him, call him and have a deep discussion with him. Let him know that he is making you sad. Remind him that he promised before and during wedding to make you happy forever.
Finally, turn him to a small god and worship him, since that sems to be what he wants. Anything he says or do, just say "yes sir", "sorry sir", "forgive me sir".
If you can manage to try this for just a week, I am sure he will call you and apologise, except if he is not human.

simpleseyi:

have you forgotten "TILL DEATH DO US PATH"
Divorce is a sin.
Pray for him, call him and have a deep discussion with him. Let him know that he is making you sad. Remind him that he promised before and during wedding to make you happy forever.
Finally, turn him to a small god and worship him, since that sems to be what he wants. Anything he says or do, just say "yes sir", "sorry sir", "forgive me sir".
If you can manage to try this for just a week, I am sure he will call you and apologise, except if he is not human.

Go and sleep. Your advice just sound like the advice of a typical lazy christian