I just hope poster will be strong enuff to endure this heartache. whatever that man is going through i still maintain he is one meanie. Is life in the uk not hard for the poster? new environment, no family, no friends and a mean husband and alot of people are busy saying just understand and pray for him. so what if she desires a better life and the man looked like it? why is he such a pretender if he isnt doing well he shouldnt have married abi doesnt he know one of the major responsibility of any right thinking man is to take care of his family and the last time i checked family is wife inclusive.

maybe you should give him a dose of his own medicine for a week and see if he can stomach it. So now you should start blowing english through your nose to make him happy,become ashamed of who you are to make him happy na wa o in this marriage you should just lie on the floor and give up your rights. dont let him scare you jor.

It will not get any better!!! trust me people like that never change. You had better leave him and return to nigeria before kids are involved.

^^^^^What makes you think she is looking for HELP?
She's probably looking for ENCOURAGEMENT and by the look of it, she's got more than enough!

@lilly, 145

For him everyday comes with a new sickening attitude. He comes back from work nowadays complaining that bringing me to the UK is the biggest mistake he made in life.
Please people, what do you think I can do, at least there are no kids involved right now.

@harakiri

She has already made up her mind to divorce him and all she wants is reassurance that she's doing the "right thing" hence the reason why she informed the public that THERE ARE NO KIDS INVOLVED. This is a lady that must have promised eternal love and loyalty but now that she has "arrived", she's suddenly discovered she has "her life" to live and[b] is looking for every excuse to break the marriage.[/b] I sincerely hope all the pathetic wimps on nairaland who intend bringing "wives" from Nigeria are reading this. When will men ever learn?

@blazay

You have 2 options.

1. Play his therapist and make him a better person by 'lovingly' putting up with his abusive nature while allowing him to go through 'rehab' with your help.

Or,

2. Just get your residency and your children ASAP. . . then bail out of the marriage or relationship,

@r231

why go when you can just stick with it for couple of yrs and get what you want then screw him later

Hmm,.,.,. just watch the “progress of the thought process” some Nigerians!
I don’t pity men that “bring wifey abroad” anymore!
They are like “Southern Nigerians” who complain of being slaughtered in the North but will still troop there to raise a family! When are we going to “LEARN”?
Every young man needs to read this “responses” and learn a thing or two from it!
“USE AND DUMP” IS THE KEY WORD!
Visit abroad? YES! Resident abroad? NO
I bet this guy called hara-kiri should have been “Raptured”!
At the rate you keep hitting the nail on the head, you will be “laying hands” very soon!

By the way, can “lilly.,.145” let us HAVE HER HUSBAND’S VERSION OF THE STORY?
I am definitely fed-up with all these “one-sided” relationship stories on Nairaland and even more skeptical in that its always the women who post such! Why peeps still take it like “Gospel Truth”, beats my imagination!

Like the other one that said “He wants to slap his wife” and everyone went crazy!
Another one said “HE wants to take her money or dump her if he cant” and you can read the response! WTF?
Are men such "brutes" as women are trying very hard to portray them? Wetin?

This “accent complaint” does not add-up one bit since l am sure the man is not unaware of her accent before marriage? And what’s important about accent in London sef? Abeg, give us a better “excuse” if you want us to “encourage”!
Which “work pressure” are you talking about?
Is he the one carrying and pushing the “Jubilee underground Train” from behind?
Even people who work like slaves in Nigeria don’t have their spouse saying so, na you wey just come London, abi?

And this made Front page?!
Seun, is this what Nairaland is all about, nowadays?
You are sure loosing credible and serious people by the minute but of course, you will always have the caliber of people "it" deserves if this continues.
Just my 5cent

BTW: Poster, since there are no kids involved yet, what are you still waiting for?
Go back to Nigeria naah, or you want to “eat your cake and still have it”?

All these “imported wives” are just “sticking at it for a while so they can USE THE MAN to get papers and then DUMP HIM”!
I see, another “man-mugun” has just bitten the dust
Sorry for men of “this” times.
BTW: Since they married in Nigeria, l hope the man would come across this thread ASAP and quickly go back home and divorce her like SPEEDWAY! Because she will becomes another nightmare in his life very soon!
No child maintenance, no wifey maintenance, no house to inherit, just split and both can look for someone who appreciates them for what they are, now that here is still no "baggages" involved. Fair enough.

And this one below is by far the best advice l have ever read on Nairaland!
@Snowdrops

It's so amusing reading responses on NL whenever someone seeks advice on their personal affairs. People become so emotional; swear; use sarcasm; and attack each other even the original poster.
End of day, poster becomes confused much more than they were ab initio.
NL is no place to ask for advice on your marital life. Remember this is a global Market place with all sorts of persons and characters, the good bad and ugly. Some have far lower IQ than you or are less experienced in the subject matter. Some go around different threads posting when they should not just to add to their post counts. Some are mischievous and deliberately give the wrong counsel in other to make your life a misery or deny you of that which they lack but long to have.
If I were you poster I would avoid reading any of the comments here. You need to tackle your issues in the real world not cyber space; speak with real people, their faces which are identifiable.
it would also be nice to hear the husbands side of th story. obviously people are are making judgments based on wife complaint.
there are always too sides to a coin.

bravo 2U!

How long have yuou both been dating? May be he's under pressure. From your tone it seems he's a brute.

U both should talk about it. Living in London is no child's play. It could be rough when one has to pay alot of bills. Some times it's better of in Naija except u want to be a footballer earnin millions p.a. On the other hand, why should he complain about ur accent ?

nat138:

And I wonder where the poster has gone to, you bring up a sensitive issue obviously looking for help and you don't even come back to respond to questions being asked so that you could be further advised na wa ooo *smh*

I completely agree with you.

This life sef. Each to man to his own problem.

It's not easy over here. I haven't read through the entire post but her stay-at-home position could be causing the brouhaha between them. Before she arrived in London, when hubby goes out to work, the light is off, gas is off, television is off. Now, all these things are on when wifey is at home adding to the bills. The telephone is probably also been used more. Internet is hopefully broadband and not pay-as-you-go (dial up).

Once she starts working and contributing to the household, things will calm down but I do agree that her hubby is an ar5e-hole though as he shouldn't take his frustrations out on his wife.

My tuppence worth

It is not unexpected for a newly united couple, But the nagging shouldnt be excessive or escalate to physical abuse,
The poster might be a graduate with poor communication skills while the guy on the other hand expects much more from her.
She'll need patience,lots of it and and English self-help to cross the bridge.
She will also need to pay serious attention to the guy's complaints and make amendments where neccessary,
This whole issue will phase out sooner than later

One of the disadvantages or advantages of bringing people abroad
After few months,shes now planning how to join the normal circle
DUMP him,get another person and the sufferings cont,
Settle the matter with him and keep your man
To work,save and allow you to come over,may not be all that easy
At the end of the day,you have started towards the normal routine  .
i do NOT believe all your emotional presentations-Hidden Agenda
Always Fear GOD and think well
Better to send ££££ home than sponsor a babe?

simpleseyi:

have you forgotten "TILL DEATH DO US PATH"
Divorce is a sin.
Pray for him, call him and have a deep discussion with him. Let him know that he is making you sad. Remind him that he promised before and during wedding to make you happy forever.
Finally, turn him to a small god and worship him, since that sems to be what he wants. Anything he says or do, just say "yes sir", "sorry sir", "forgive me sir".
If you can manage to try this for just a week, I am sure he will call you and apologise, except if he is not human.

Na wah for you

Well,i must tell you this, most guys that comes home(naija)to pick wife ends up loosing dem when the ladies eye don sharp up. I guess he just wants 2intimidate u&make u feel less and not fitted in the society. Am sure ur prity and a loving person,do u think a man can be so foolish to spend so much bringing you to london and now starts to behave funny? I think ur man is insure,try and make him realise that u aint goin no where and that u will continue to love him. Also i must confess that try go outside and window shop, talk to people when ur out alone so that ur tongue can be better. Thats the best way to speak like oyinbo,if u keep quiet u no go sabi am o. Good luck. Hummm! Do not argue with ur hubby just listen and disregard insult u will find his weak point.

@OP,I'm going to tell u what i wud tell my sister and also pretend ur hubby is my brother.
This man endured alot,deprieved himself alot of things to be able to get u over there.Perharps he never envisaged things wud get rough this way,maybe he had dreams and visions of u coming over and somehow,getting a "miracle job",could it be that things got rough at work for him?Don't go yet,pls this is a phase that wud pass away,biko.
What do u do spend all ur day doing?when he gets back from work do u care enough to ask how his day went?His food ready and warm,house well kept?
You are not his slave honey but such lil' gestures goes a long way.
Make a joke out of the accent ish,when he walks through the door,meet him with a deep kiss,take his briefcase and in ur best thick "igbotic-americana" accent go "love of my life hope u had a good day".Give him body massages at bed,talk abt ur unemploymed state with him often and remind him daily to check out openings for you.

This phase too shall pass,stay and tame him!

ifyalways:

@OP,I'm going to tell u what i wud tell my sister and also pretend your hubby is my brother.
This man endured alot,deprieved himself alot of things to be able to get u over there.Perharps he never envisaged things wud get rough this way,maybe he had dreams and visions of u coming over and somehow,getting a "miracle job",could it be that things got rough at work for him?Don't go yet,pls this is a phase that wud pass away,biko.
What do u do spend all your day doing?when he gets back from work do u care enough to ask how his day went?His food ready and warm,house well kept?
You are not his slave honey but such lil' gestures goes a long way.
Make a joke out of the accent ish,when he walks through the door,meet him with a deep kiss,take his briefcase and in your best thick "igbotic-americana" accent go "love of my life hope u had a good day".Give him body massages at bed,talk abt your unemploymed state with him often and remind him daily to check out openings for you.

This phase too shall pass,stay and tame him!

Impressive.

Please, this is what the elders in Africa tell  women in marriages and next thing you know 1 partner is dead the other in jail. . .

Could this lady be sick, and asking for help? We all have varying capacities of copying with stress. Please, I beg you get help through your GP!!!! British justice would not recognise naging as a defence.

ifyalways:


@OP,I'm going to tell u what i wud tell my sister and also pretend your hubby is my brother.

This man endured alot,deprieved himself alot of things to be able to get u over there.Perharps he never envisaged things wud get rough this way,maybe he had dreams and visions of u coming over and somehow,getting a "miracle job",could it be that things got rough at work for him?Don't go yet,pls this is a phase that wud pass away,biko.

What do u do spend all your day doing?when he gets back from work do u care enough to ask how his day went?His food ready and warm,house well kept?

You are not his slave honey but such lil' gestures goes a long way.

Make a joke out of the accent ish,when he walks through the door,meet him with a deep kiss,take his briefcase and in your best thick "igbotic-americana" accent go "love of my life hope u had a good day".Give him body massages at bed,talk abt your unemploymed state with him often and remind him daily to check out openings for you.



This phase too shall pass,stay and tame him!

**rubs his eyes to make sure he's not dreaming** Well. . .I'll be damned!

Someone has made a whole lot of changes to their post.

Lets hope the strides continues.

OP where you now, bia you dey do all dis one so? if not oya change your style and foolow dis strategy.

ifyalways:

@OP,I'm going to tell u what i wud tell my sister and also pretend your hubby is my brother.
This man endured alot,deprieved himself alot of things to be able to get u over there.Perharps he never envisaged things wud get rough this way,maybe he had dreams and visions of u coming over and somehow,getting a "miracle job",could it be that things got rough at work for him?Don't go yet,pls this is a phase that wud pass away,biko.
What do u do spend all your day doing?when he gets back from work do u care enough to ask how his day went?His food ready and warm,house well kept?
You are not his slave honey but such lil' gestures goes a long way.
Make a joke out of the accent ish,when he walks through the door,meet him with a deep kiss,take his briefcase and in your best thick "igbotic-americana" accent go "love of my life hope u had a good day".Give him body massages at bed,talk abt your unemploymed state with him often and remind him daily to check out openings for you.

This phase too shall pass,stay and tame him!

even call him the creator of your universe and maker of the ground you are standing on. help am cut him toenails (eww) sef and run bath for am.
do anything o, naija for obodo likes to be worshipped.

^^^^ .

ifyalways:

@OP,I'm going to tell u what i wud tell my sister and also pretend your hubby is my brother.
This man endured alot,deprieved himself alot of things to be able to get u over there.Perharps he never envisaged things wud get rough this way,maybe he had dreams and visions of u coming over and somehow,getting a "miracle job",could it be that things got rough at work for him?Don't go yet,pls this is a phase that wud pass away,biko.
What do u do spend all your day doing?when he gets back from work do u care enough to ask how his day went?His food ready and warm,house well kept?
You are not his slave honey but such lil' gestures goes a long way.
Make a joke out of the accent ish,when he walks through the door,meet him with a deep kiss,take his briefcase and in your best thick "igbotic-americana" accent go "love of my life hope u had a good day".Give him body massages at bed,talk abt your unemploymed state with him often and remind him daily to check out openings for you.

This phase too shall pass,stay and tame him!

Now give me one good reason why I shouldnt marry you this summer?

armyofone:

OP where you now, bia you dey do all dis one so? if not oya change your style and foolow dis strategy.
even call him the creator of your universe and maker of the ground you are standing on. help am cut him toenails (eww) sef and run bath for am.
do anything o, naija for obodo likes to be worshipped.

Why dont you do all these for me?

you think Ify or myself will ever clip that your cornish toenail or cook for you, you no no road to the kitchen abt witlow chop your hands ni, wishful thinking 

Actually Ify would be doing the cooking while you would be doing the non-stop phocking

my dear i dnt kn what to say but u need to call him seat him dawn and kn what is the problem. believe me is nt easy to carry on a family over here seriously, am single but this is one of the problem i have with my man he told me time with out number that am nt going to st,ay over here so u see he kn is not gonna be easy abroad stress is three much

I wonder why people complain about a union when they werent forced into it, even marriage has divorce as an option!!!!!! we blacks and our sentiments!!!

and also u need to get ur self a job try to do that. trust me u will nt regret it, men are like that sometimes ' ((killing him will nt solve it there is no perfect man i tell u all same one way or the other they are same God will see you throug

cantell:

**rubs his eyes to make sure he's not dreaming** Well. . .I'll be damned!

Someone has made a whole lot of changes to their post.

Lets hope the strides continues.

Enwe, Im in a good mood . . . .thanks to the man you so envy but can NEVER be
I won't pay you no mind,just gafere,I choose my playground and who to play with and definietly it ain't here and you today
Ije oma

@Dayo,so na me good to tanda for kitchen?Na bicos i no be Amelika soja?

ifyalways:

Enwe, Im in a good mood . . . .thanks to the man you so envy but can NEVER be
I won't pay you no mind,just gafere,I choose my playground and who to play with and definietly it ain't here and you today
Ije oma

@Dayo,so na me good to tanda for kitchen?Na bicos i no be Amelika soja?

Nne gi enwe!
if you think i'll banter words with you, then you're more foolish than i thought.
The leopard can never change its spots - Ashi wey change base na still ashi.

^Mr butthole scavenger,notice me or i die . . . .move over I say.
Going abt quoting me and sniffing around for my dead toenail to mAsTurbate with.
Dolt!
Adaka Idoma.

cantell:

Nne gi enwe!
if you think i'll banter words with you, then you're more foolish than i thought.
The leopard can never change its spots - Ashi wey change base na still ashi.

What is wrong with this deranged cretin!

Bloody cretin!