jennykadry:

Actually I am getting to you hence your replies. Sorry it must hurt so much you know, I know I have a way of stepping on people's toes, so pardon me if I have stepped on yours enough for you to keep coming back and quoting me

Carry ya smelly self comot hiaaaaa, ashi of the highest level

Insults from faceless people do not get to me.
Curse me,i curse u.no strings attached. .
Anyway since u have begged for pardon,i pardon u so dat ur hubby and kids can have a good night rest.i know u r already nagging and whining all around d house cos u had a fight with reinedamse online poor family.
I will say no more.have fun at my expense.d field is all urs now.cheers.

reinedamse:
Insults from faceless people do not get to me.
Curse me,i curse u.no strings attached. .
Anyway since u have begged for pardon,i pardon u so dat ur hubby and kids can have a good night rest.i know u r already nagging and whining all around d house cos u had a fight with reinedamse online poor family.
I will say no more.have fun at my expense.d field is all urs now.cheers.

Buahahahahahah, she dey run? I think say you get mouth oya come back now, fcking retaard My husband and kids are out camping for 2 days so don't worry they must be chopping one nice rabbit they caught in the bush whilst I am here drinking vitamalt Thank you again for leaving the field for me cos once again, I won the field where is my medal Busy_Body

Oya go and sh@g that tricycle of a man you kept in the bedroom, maybe then your post menopausal hormones will not be kicking me from across the WWW. Hey I ain't forty yet and I ain't even close to that so don't blame me that you have lost all your sex appeal to the younger generation like me. Don't blame me, blame the eediot that saw you fit to throw you inside his face me I face you hut

Oh yes, I love you too

It is the husband I blame. He should have told his sister off immediately. Unfortunately Now that his sister has seen that both of you are not united, she will still try so much rubbish I tell you. You will need a healthy dose of tolerant and patience for that one.
Just talk to your husband poster and if he is adamant, invite your own sister to your home for the duration of the girl's visit, don't do agidi at all,that she has to go etc just invite ur own sister to come and look after baby as well, make it look as innocent as possible, if you have a sister slightly younger than your sis in-law, by the time your sis talks to her every time she does something wrong, with time, shame go dey catch her and trust me she will learn manners
One thing that made me happy in this ur situation is that your parent is aware, when it start getting to man handling and dropping you on the bed unceremoniously, u need to watch that man.
Take care of your baby as well. It is well

debby999: Dear married women and men,pls I need your advice on this issue. I just had a baby boy and still on recovery, my sister inlaw came and Since then my peaceful home has turn to war zone. As am writting this I feel like runing away with my little boy.This lady has never talked to me since she came into the house.she is type that does my "brother's house I don't send anybody".Big war started the day I finished cooking and was about dishing food this lady went to pot and started taking her own. After she finished the eating, I called her and explain to her as I should to my younger ones, that it was not right for her to take the food I just finished cooking without letting me knw. Most times they will take all the meat in the food. The next day my husband called me that her siSter reported me to him. So I told him and he to said it was right. I didn't knw they have tabled the matter with their other sisters and all of them called me and saying I must allow their sis. To go the pot anything anytime she wants which I refused,she was just calling me names. I was suprised when she said my husband supported that the lady should be allowed. My husband came in I told him all that happened,he couldn't stand on his ground to defened his wife infront of his sisters. I felt unprotected. The last one that happened that made me write this was the day my husband brought up dat issue again,bcose he noticed his sister has not been eaten the food in the house. He said I have to treat his sisters with care and piortity and if I don't treat them dat way, bcose a always insist on the right thing, dat anything I see I should take.I told him since you cannot give me protection I have to let my parents knw about incase anything happens to me.called my parents to let them. My baby started crying I bathed him and gave him the baby so I can prepare his food. On bringing the food to feed him,my husband pushed me out, took the food frm me and gave his sister to feed him. Carried me up and threw me on the bed, my hand hit the wardrobe, I was carrying. I dressed up to get a recharge card to let my people knw, he carried me up again and threw me on thE bed. I have to sneaked out late at night when he was sleeping. I called them and I was scared to go back again, I remebered my baby I had to go back. When I got back he has gone out to look for me, I opend my room to sleep, I found his sisters sleeping on my bed, I left them and slept on the couch. I asked the little girl he said my husband told them to sleep there. Am no longer feel protected with him. Since he can humulaite his wife in the presence of his sisters. Waiting for advice. Sorry for the errors, typed it in hurry so I can attend to my baby. ThAnks all.

Neither you or your family can fight your in-laws in that house and win.

No women tries such at this age.

LEAVE THAT HOUSE NOW TO YOUR PARENTS PLACE, IF YOUR HUSBAND WANT YOU BACK HE WILL COME AND NEGOTIATE.

jennykadry,am suprised at u.u are one person i ve high regard for here.but wit ur display here,am really disappointed in u.cant someone ve different oppinion frm urs?abeg kul down for jesus.i want u to emulate d likes of cc.stay blessd

your husband is a bloody wimp. If i had a sister and she went and took food from my wife's pot without letting her know, she would have to find a hotel that night. Regardless of how you feel about your wife, She must ALWAYS come first before extended family.

^^^^What he said!!

Debby, I would suggest you thread softly and deal with each individual separately. If you did you wedding in a church or court then you have advantage over the sister. My mum applied it with my dad's younger sister though that was over 35years ago but it can still work. I think the challange here is that the sisters really don't like you and they feel you took their brother away from them. All you need do is to call the sister and ask her where she was when the pastor asked whoever has a reason why you should not be joined to your husband should indicate and since she did not, she has no stay in your house as such, she has over stepped her boundaries and if it is court remind her the advert was on the board for 21days and since she said nothing, you have every right to the man before her. As for your husband, remind him he married you as such, he has to respect you and your opinions. More so, ensure you treat the domestic violence involved in this case which is possible he did just to be diplomatic and let him know you would appreciate verbal cues to the non-verbal cues if he claims that was why he did it. Above all, please since the sister has abused the priviledge you once accorded her in your home, henceforth, she has to live by your rules or she moves out of your house and tell your husband he has to respect this decision although it could be hard but it is one of the responsibilities he signed to. Should his family want to intervene, please tell them it is your decision and nothing is reversing it since they all chose to support her silly acts.

emmatok:

Neither you or your family can fight your in-laws in that house and win.

No women tries such at this age.

LEAVE THAT HOUSE NOW TO YOUR PARENTS PLACE, IF YOUR HUSBAND WANT YOU BACK HE WILL COME AND NEGOTIATE.

Please do not leave the house. By law, you have rights above your in-laws in your house.

vanitty: It is the husband I blame. He should have told his sister off immediately. Unfortunately Now that his sister has seen that both of you are not united, she will still try so much rubbish I tell you. You will need a healthy dose of tolerant and patience for that one.
Just talk to your husband poster and if he is adamant, invite your own sister to your home for the duration of the girl's visit, don't do agidi at all,that she has to go etc just invite ur own sister to come and look after baby as well, make it look as innocent as possible, if you have a sister slightly younger than your sis in-law, by the time your sis talks to her every time she does something wrong, with time, shame go dey catch her and trust me she will learn manners
One thing that made me happy in this ur situation is that your parent is aware, when it start getting to man handling and dropping you on the bed unceremoniously, u need to watch that man.
Take care of your baby as well. It is well

Don't you feel bringing her younger sister would only make the issue more complicated as if care is not taken, if a fight should come up between the sisters then she would take the blame and may lead to the husband's family having a leverage to insult her family? It is unfortunate the sister in law lacks proper home training and the mistake she is making is she would be getting married in the near future and when such challenges come she wouldn't remember it is the repercussion of the seed she is sowing now.

auspey: jennykadry,am suprised at u.u are one person i ve high regard for here.but wit ur display here,am really disappointed in u.cant someone ve different oppinion frm urs?abeg kul down for jesus.i want u to emulate d likes of cc.stay blessd

Emulate who? Be like who? Them send you? Must we all be chair cover? Infact thats an insult to my person.Thunder fire you there for even suggesting that I act fake. better be disappointed ooo, cos I am not here to make friends

@ Op your hubby really let you down this time. Well I think you need to talk to him and express your feelings to him. You just had a baby and you dont need all the stress.

why not seek advice from counsellors and other women from www.issuesandwomen.com

GboyegaD:

Don't you feel bringing her younger sister would only make the issue more complicated as if care is not taken, if a fight should come up between the sisters then she would take the blame and may lead to the husband's family having a leverage to insult her family? It is unfortunate the sister in law lacks proper home training and the mistake she is making is she would be getting married in the near future and when such challenges come she wouldn't remember it is the repercussion of the seed she is sowing now.

Who said anything about fighting? It needs not reach that stage at all. There are ways you talk to people that makes them think! I am not suggesting fire to fire scenario. A well mannered slightly younger gril will put that silly girl to shame. Trust me.
God is a forgiving God I tell you, who is to say she will reap anything in the future?!
Poster, if the girl is coming for a short visit, healthy dose of tolerance but if you have agreed for her to stay with you longer, get something doing. It is your HOME.

Shame on husbands that cannot take control of their homes. Shame on husbands that cannot put down the rules for their sibblings (younger ones at that!) in their own homes! Shame on husbands that cannot protect their wives but will rather take sides with their sisters! Shame on husbands that will prefer their sisters to feed their babies while rough-handling their wives! Shame on husbands that will physically abuse their wives and allow their sisters to control their homes! Shame! Shame !! Shame!!!

What sort of husbands do we have these days? Instead of putting the sisters where they belong, he is busy acting like a whimp. So spineless. It's his (and his wife's home). You don't go to my wife's kitchen and pot to start dishing food for yourself if she didn't give you the permission to do so. The dishing was not even the problem, it's the attitude displayed.

You don't want to obey the rules and respect my wife in her home, you stay far away! It's as simple as that.

auspey: jennykadry,am suprised at u.u are one person i ve high regard for here.but wit ur display here,am really disappointed in u.cant someone ve different oppinion frm urs?abeg kul down for jesus.i want u to emulate d likes of cc.stay blessd

Hey Jenny! No not you.

I would advise you to apply wisdom. You can strike a balance...

About the issue of 'finding happiness in your kitchen' ... I find that bit funny tho ... What about dishing your husbands food into a flask immediately after cooking, also dishing yours into another flask. Leave hers in the pot so that when she comes in, she can happily scrape the remaining in the pot. This way she's happy she dished from the pot and you're happy you' dished yours first. If I were you, I'll totally ignore her and find a way round her immaturity without reducing my self to her level, but then again it's your call.

About the abuse, handle that VERY well now! Let your husband know you will NEVER condone it. Tell the world, even the dead and threaten thunder and brimstone if it ever happens again.

All the best

vanitty:
Who said anything about fighting? It needs not reach that stage at all. There are ways you talk to people that makes them think! I am not suggesting fire to fire scenario. A well mannered slightly younger gril will put that silly girl to shame. Trust me.
God is a forgiving God I tell you, who is to say she will reap anything in the future?!
Poster, if the girl is coming for a short visit, healthy dose of tolerance but if you have agreed for her to stay with you longer, get something doing. It is your HOME.

davidylan: your husband is a bloody wimp. If i had a sister and she went and took food from my wife's pot without letting her know, she would have to find a hotel that night. Regardless of how you feel about your wife, She must ALWAYS come first before extended family.

vanitty:
Who said anything about fighting? It needs not reach that stage at all. There are ways you talk to people that makes them think! I am not suggesting fire to fire scenario. A well mannered slightly younger gril will put that silly girl to shame. Trust me.
God is a forgiving God I tell you, who is to say she will reap anything in the future?!
Poster, if the girl is coming for a short visit, healthy dose of tolerance but if you have agreed for her to stay with you longer, get something doing. It is your HOME.

Hear!!! Hear!!!

The MEN are talking. . . . I so agree with you guys! Analytical, May God continue to bless your home . . . .Davidylan, God go give you better wife

Much ado about nothing. What is wrong with his sister going to dish food for herself? Nawa for all these useless afrivan 'respect' practices with no head or tail. If you had ignored and let it slide ,this whole situation wouldn't have started in the first place.

Op, leaving the house is not advisable.
There is nothing patience cannot rebuild. Ur sister in laws are shameless people dt took to fightin over deir brodas stuff wen dey ought to be in deir own hubbys house. But diaz nothin u can really do about it, TALK to ur husband. Let him knw that u were hurt by d way he manhandled u, and the way he stands to support his sisters... Den just be cool and patient.
Bone the kitchen. Cook ur food, take urs, husband and that of the kids leave the rest for the sisters. U can even tell dem dt deir food is dia. Do not engage in a silent battle with them, prove that u re more matured and experienced.
If they are people that has a conscience, dey wld back off with time n den u can deal wt ur husband d 'woman way'.
Note, a woman that tinks shez wise always has problems in her marital home, its the wise woman that acts like shez dumb that takes control of everything easily

All the best

Op, leaving the house is not advisable.
There is nothing patience cannot rebuild. Ur sister in laws are shameless people dt took to fightin over deir brodas stuff wen dey ought to be in deir own hubbys house. But diaz nothin u can really do about it, TALK to ur husband. Let him knw that u were hurt by d way he manhandled u, and the way he stands to support his sisters, let him know how bad you feel... Den just be cool and patient.
Bone the kitchen. Cook ur food, take urs, husband and that of ur kid leave the rest for the sisters. U can even tell dem dt deir food is dia. Do not engage in a silent battle with them, prove that u re more matured and experienced.
If they are people that has a conscience, dey wld back off with time n den u can deal wt ur husband d 'woman way'.
Note, a woman that tinks shez wise always has problems in her marital home, its the wise woman that acts like shez dumb that takes control of everything easily

All the best

Yes True I am 100% agree with Scash. There is nothing patience cannot rebuild.

Scash: Op, leaving the house is not advisable.
There is nothing patience cannot rebuild. Ur sister in laws are shameless people dt took to fightin over deir brodas stuff wen dey ought to be in deir own hubbys house. But diaz nothin u can really do about it, TALK to ur husband. Let him knw that u were hurt by d way he manhandled u, and the way he stands to support his sisters, let him know how bad you feel... Den just be cool and patient.
Bone the kitchen. Cook ur food, take urs, husband and that of ur kid leave the rest for the sisters. U can even tell dem dt deir food is dia. Do not engage in a silent battle with them, prove that u re more matured and experienced.
If they are people that has a conscience, dey wld back off with time n den u can deal wt ur husband d 'woman way'.
Note, a woman that tinks shez wise always has problems in her marital home, its the wise woman that acts like shez dumb that takes control of everything easily

All the best

@ op. I have been married before but now divorce with a son. I know no matter how good you are to your husband people and him, what will happen must happen, still that continue to be good because there is a great reward for it. MY ADVISE to you which I know it must quench that fire in house is simple, as for now your husband's mind is poisoned that you don't love any member of his family. Please just call your husband and his sister together *TOGETHER* tell them this please I don't like how devil wants to destroy this happy home because of food or something else. If food is the problem, chioma or whatever your sister inlaws name eat and honey depending on what you call your husband please we don't have to destroy our own home or generation pls we are all one. I am part of your family *you are now answering there name* I am chioma's elder sister if she wants to respect me let her do but if she doesn't want to respect me your wife and you are in support of it so be it. Please all I want in my home is peace. Honey I love you so much and also your family we are all one please. N/B: make sure you talk to them together. I promise you this must restore your joy and respect in your home more especially your hubby love for you. I believe the have sense. Please don't you ever revenge. IF REVENGE IS SWEET, WHY DOES IT LEAVE A BITTER TASTE.

Who knw weda she bring juju.....madam,pls pray abt ur home..be very prayerful 4rm nw on...he might not be in his right mind.that ur sista inlaw s a devil,and a home braker...cover ur home wit the blood of JESUS CHRIST.treat dem well wenever they come arrnd but,always pray God take control.nobi small thin oo.she no go marry wen she wan brake others home nawa.

jennykadry:

You are an eediot. May me and my "cabals" continue to give you stoopid people night mares. Tell me now, who here has even mentioned divorce except you? who here has told the OP to leave her husband? you are a certified slowpoke f00l. Just because I told her not to apologise you have already concluded like those daft colleagues of yours that we want her to get a divorce. This is why you could not pass simple WAEC AND JAMB in Nigeria, because they ask a question and you answered something completely different from what was asked. Born f00l

I thought you were just a f00l but you have proved me wrong, you are worst than an imbec1le

Don't even mention my kids here if you don't want sickness to visit you and your smelly nyash in your bed tomorrow morning bast@rd

Shameless woman married to an azzhole. May both of you continue to live a frustrated and dumb life till thy kingdom come. ANu ofia. Devil fart on your empty brain. fcking ashew0 two kobo.

Let me go and drink my VitaMalt first. ODE

only a dumbbb man can put this kind of mad woman at home and call wife, SMDH

Buahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

poster, am disappointed with, why should your sister in law sick permission before accessing the pot soup you are not tolerant and you've got attitude, secondly, u even called your parent, to do what?? arrest your husband i think you are still a baby, hence u need to mature and learn to tolerate your inlaws. goodluck

Na wa for marriage issues, the squabbles, hate, dominion.. I can go on and on.. Marraige sef is no longer interesting . May God change the heart of people to sincerely love and appreciate one another. I thank God, am still Single.

reinedamse:
madam, was all that really necessary?u don't share an individuals point of view so the next thing is to curse out the person's soul?i fear for ur kids.They must really find it shameful and frustrating to cope with an uncouth mother on a daily basis.i hope their dad is more refined.
@OP,be wary of the kind of advice u receive here on nairaland.Many of these women are internet warriors.They tell u to do this and that to your husband but when you get to their homes,you would be shocked to see that they dare not cough when their husband is speaking(I'm sure your mother must have warned you against this kind of women when you were getting married).
I'm a Lady like u,i agree ur husband crossed a line but two wrongs can never make a right.protect ur home.There are ways you can correct him.Fight in love,correct in love.
DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO INITIATE YOU INTO THE DIVORCEES CLUB.

Matured advice.Every married lady shd be wary of anybody that says 'leave d damn home for d useless husb' as first line of action,either dey aint married or want others who are to join in d league of divorcees.This is however not excusing d incidents dat av taken place,partcularly ur husb sisters who obviuosly dnt understand what it means to b married& think its a plaything where d husb is d all in all& can dictate like a lord what& what shd happen,dey are obviously enjoying d childlike euphoria of being able to do anything dey like in ur MATRIMONIAL home.
Dnt run away,gud thing ur family are aware,its better resolvd wt boundaries set as to d limits of ur nlaws activities,though u shd still try ur best to endure some of their immature behaviours,down d road,some of dem do tend to see d folly& immaturity of their actions particularly when dey also start husb hunting.

It's like some people still don't get it. Here is a sister displaying such irritating attitude of "it's my brother's property, you might as well go to hell and I can do whatever I choose, afterall you are just a wife" and some expect the wife to just swallow it and be tolerant? It doesn't end there. I am almost 100% sure wife does all the dishes after they all must have eaten! Afterall, she is 'our wife', expected to worship her in-laws and take loads of rubbish in her own home. Which responsible husband beats his wife, right in front of his sisters? It's even annoying that he has a sister living under his roof that refuses to talk to his wife from the day she came.

We've seen such types countless times. That is why I don't blame the girls, but the spineless husband whose wife's dignity means nothing to him. To those saying what is the big deal, you have to realise this is the wife's territory. Aside from the bedroom, wives guard their kitchens (pots especially) jealously. To this particular husband, both actually mean nothing to him. That is why the sisters can be sleeping on her bed shortly after her sneaking out. To think these sisters will one day become wives too!

The husband refused to take charge of his home. From day one, you make your people know whoever 'touches' your wife touches the apple of your eyes! You don't give people the opportunity to disrespect her. The way they see you treat her will send a message to everyone to behave. It's not the wife that should do that. That is why I am angry with the husband. It's his duty to protect the wife before his sisters turned her to a garbage.

During the early years of my marriage when one of my younger ones was around and left plates for my wife to pack after eating, nobody told him to pack them when he saw me carrying my own plates to the kitchen. In fact, he rushed to collect the plates from me and came back to clear the remaining. And that was the last time it ever happened! Now, it wasn't my wife that did that so she didn't even come into the picture. But it sent the message down.

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Oh, the advice to the OP? I have none right now as I am still angry with the husband.

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@nikkygal, Amen.

@OP, so what u want is dat everytime d girls want to eat they should take permission from u? And you will now escort dem to the pot? C'mon! What is a pot of stew? After cooking separate the soups, keep urs and hubby in the freezer or better let them cook their own meals. it is absolutely unreasonable, mean and malicious for you to expect the girls to wait for u to serve food before they eat. Is it a prison camp? Remember dat ur husbands sisters have a hold on him too, back down gracefully and leave ur parents out of this. Cook five pots of soup and let them feast, it's a small price to pay for peace.

victorian: Na wa for marriage issues, the squabbles, hate, dominion.. I can go on and on.. Marraige sef is no longer interesting . May God change the heart of people to sincerely love and appreciate one another. I thank God, am still Single.

SMDH