adonisgold: @OP, so what u want is dat everytime d girls want to eat they should take permission from u? And you will now escort dem to the pot? C'mon! What is a pot of stew? After cooking separate the soups, keep urs and hubby in the freezer or better let them cook their own meals. it is absolutely unreasonable, mean and malicious for you to expect the girls to wait for u to serve food before they eat. Is it a prison camp? Remember dat ur husbands sisters have a hold on him too, back down gracefully and leave ur parents out of this. Cook five pots of soup and let them feast, it's a small price to pay for peace.

i tire o, our girls of nowadays are with fish brain and only know how to put on makeup, she want d poor girl to come knee b4 she can eat, nonsense, infact d guy suppose give ha dirty slap

jennykadry: let me tell you that the bedroom and the kitchen are the two most important places to a woman in her husbands house. Those two places literally are the best ways to a man's heart. . .

Jenny, you are soo right. I didn't even know you wrote this when I typed mine. So right.

Analytical: . . .To those saying what is the big deal, you have to realise this is the wife's territory. Aside from the bedroom, wives guard their kitchens (pots especially) jealously. To this particular husband, both actually mean nothing to him. That is why the sisters can be sleeping on her bed shortly after her sneaking out...

GboyegaD:

Please do not leave the house. By law, you have rights above your in-laws in your house.

What right are you talking about, if the man kick her out on the order of her family, will she still claim right to the House?

When your In-laws and Husband gang up against you, you are staying in that house at you own risk.

Laila Ikeji: wooowww. am speechless. but am a woman dat looks out for my safety first.

if i were in ur shoes, heres wat i would do.

1. calm down n act along.

2. take dem unawares, and run away to where i will be very safe wt my baby.

3. they o, their brother, the marriage can bloody go to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wat rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


omg i fear for you, deariee!!! plzzzzzzz be safe for dat baby abeg. Haba!!!

.my dear,runin away wil nt solve d mata on ground o.she has 2 take it easy cos only her knws d type of husband she maried.

Hi @ Poster u no what thank God 4 making u to v a save delivery. Let mi tell u dis
1.This is ur home n ur marrig.
2.Ppl will give u ill advice
3. With wat u said i no u still want to b apy
u just v to let go of hw u suppose tings r to b done n dance to some tune so as to get ''dem'' right.U no wat just play along
After cooking let dem do as dey pls, but make sure u v stylishly dished out ur husbnd n ur food.

Ur life is presiou to us all n so also ur marriage keep it safe, but open UR EYES

NOTE> Tis is ur life Nairalanders will not live it 4 u. God help u, dear.

reinedamse:
In my own opinion,u did not exercise enough patience and tolerance towards ur in-laws.ur hubby was trying to be diplomatic initially.it wasn't dat he couldn't protect u but he obviously didn't want to take sides initially but u weren't patient enough.
Two wrongs can never make a right.communication is the key.try to talk to him like a virtuous woman should.state reasons for Ur actions and let him state his.Let him understand some of the things you would not tolerate from guests(even if it they were ur own siblings).
Apologize and warn him seriously never to lay hands on u else you will get a divorce.this should put him in check next time he thinks of beating u.
Pele OP,it is well with ur marriage.

I agree with u totally. This lady the OP must have been a very stubborn lady as a single girl and does not know that d[b]oes not work in marriage[/b]. OP u made a very grave mistake.
Number 1 rule, ladies pls listen, never directly accuse ur husbands sister(s) of thievery (whether she stole or not). Pls incase u are asking where thievery came in this thread, once u say she went 2 take food without asking u and they would take all the meat. U have accuse her of stealing (that is how husband's sister will see it). Once she reports u 2 all the other sisters, u are in deep soup cos ur husband can't protect u again. U have taken the matter out of his hands. Ur hubby tried 2 be neutral in this issue but u didn't allow him. U felt it was ur house and so u can do and undo right, well u where wrong. There is something they call Umu ada in my place. They are the toughest group of women in the family. Once a wife of the brothers get in2 their matter, they would deal with the wife.
Number 2 rule, ur husband is ur ally. No matter how bad a situation looks ur husband will always be ur ally. Cos its his family and only he can press them 2 allow u or leave u alone or ask them what should be done 2 let bygones be bygones.
Number 3 rule, never bring ur own family in2 the issue. Once u do that, u have just escalated the issue beyond proportion. Ur family is only allowed 2 come in, if and once ur hubby has tried and his family and sisters insist on dealing with u and actually start doing so.

jennykadry:

You are an eediot. May me and my "cabals" continue to give you stoopid people night mares. Tell me now, who here has even mentioned divorce except you? who here has told the OP to leave her husband? you are a certified slowpoke f00l. Just because I told her not to apologise you have already concluded like those daft colleagues of yours that we want her to get a divorce. This is why you could not pass simple WAEC AND JAMB in Nigeria, because they ask a question and you answered something completely different from what was asked. Born f00l

I thought you were just a f00l but you have proved me wrong, you are worst than an imbec1le

Don't even mention my kids here if you don't want sickness to visit you and your smelly nyash in your bed tomorrow morning bast@rd

Shameless woman married to an azzhole. May both of you continue to live a frustrated and dumb life till thy kingdom come. ANu ofia. Devil fart on your empty brain. fcking ashew0 two kobo.

Let me go and drink my VitaMalt first. ODE

Haba! Madam, has it gotten to dat, i initially like ur advice but wen seeing de previous two, i ve to go back and confirm if is really u dat wrote dose first ones. Pls try delete many bad words in ur mouth.

Eh OP you say wetin?

In which house?my own baby?my pot of food wey i cook with my own hands?

Mba nu,it cannot happen na,kama kwa anyi etinye ukwu na ofu trouser,nna mehn for what na?abeg stories like this one annoys me,who is that one asking her to apologize to a man that beat her up and embarrassed her in the presence of his siblings?you need your head checked for reals,what nansense.

my questions to poster, where those ur sister inlaw living wit u initially or did they come visiting?

If she was living wit u b4 sometin is wrong b/w both of dat u re not telling us and dat was wat lead for her to be takin de food herself.

Secondly if she came visiting, she will still go.

But wateva way let bygone be bygone, is ur marriage u re tryin to break up. Two wrongs cant make a right.

Na wa o! So I shud be taking permission from my grandmum b4 entering the kitchen, any way to each, his /her own. My uncles wives enter my grand mum kitchen and dish food without taking permission. When their house is a few metres away.thing is she always cooks excess and they are 1 big family. Infact they spend most of the time at my gmum's place.
While a friend of mine complained seriously about this same issue, what she was angry about was her in-law finishing all the food in the house, so her husband didn't have enuf to eat.Abeg OP's husband should give her more upkeep money when inlaws are arnd. And the inlaws shouldn't eat as if they've not seen food.

my belle dey hot as i dey read ur mails am a man and i cant support all this any way i trust my mum and my sis they have good xter. hope you have a good xter too, if u feel unsafe its better to take your babey and runa to your parent house and dnt return until his sister leave the house. wen i was younger and my uncle was not married wen i go to his house i enter any room at y disposal, but now that he is married i dnt pass the sitting room, eat wat ever they giv me and will wash my plate wen i finish eating.

for the sake of the future of young baby, please n please leave that environment 4 awhile,its safer that way because,am telling,it not easy seeing things not happening in your own way,especially in this case that its your home.pls do get a job,n move on.we live to learn,and don't forget to put God ist in everythn u do.He wil surely deliver u frm the hands of your enemy.

obasijoy: @ op. I have been married before but now divorce with a son. I know no matter how good you are to your husband people and him, what will happen must happen, still that continue to be good because there is a great reward for it. MY ADVISE to you which I know it must quench that fire in house is simple, as for now your husband's mind is poisoned that you don't love any member of his family. Please just call your husband and his sister together *TOGETHER* tell them this please I don't like how devil wants to destroy this happy home because of food or something else. If food is the problem, chioma or whatever your sister inlaws name eat and honey depending on what you call your husband please we don't have to destroy our own home or generation pls we are all one. I am part of your family *you are now answering there name* I am chioma's elder sister if she wants to respect me let her do but if she doesn't want to respect me your wife and you are in support of it so be it. Please all I want in my home is peace. Honey I love you so much and also your family we are all one please. N/B: make sure you talk to them together. I promise you this must restore your joy and respect in your home more especially your hubby love for you. I believe the have sense. Please don't you ever revenge. IF REVENGE IS SWEET, WHY DOES IT LEAVE A BITTER TASTE.

Smart woman
with real life experiences

jennykadry: ^^You are crazy. Infact devil punish you the next time you mention "apologise". A man physically hurt his wife who just put to bed recently and you are here telling her she wasn't diplomatic. Thunder blend your nyash like cray fish diaaaaa. EEDIOT oshi, ewu ocha, anu mpam.

Chai, see no nonsense woman! This one go hard o

Hin and her husband na wrestlemania either in bed or during argument

jennykadry: Listen to me(I still need your answers to my questions) but sit your husband down and talk to him, order him to stop being silly else the next time he handles you the way he handled you the previous night, he will have to eat sand and garri to see his child again.

Don't you have sisters that can come to your house and throw those girls out? what is this? why are you acting so soft? they declared war on you the minute they decided to wanno take over your child. FIGHT BACK DAMMIT >:(

This is why women need to be doing something that brings them income, I don't know what you do for a living but step up your game cos right now? it's You and God against the world

Advices her to start a war?
Good O

sweetcocoa: Eh OP you say wetin?

In which house?my own baby?my pot of food wey i cook with my own hands?

Mba nu,it cannot happen na,kama kwa anyi etinye ukwu na ofu trouser,nna mehn for what na?abeg stories like this one annoys me,who is that one asking her to apologize to a man that beat her up and embarrassed her in the presence of his siblings?you need your head checked for reals,what nansense.

Reading this, I asked myself, 'Is this girl married?'

If I am mistaken, which I am sure I am not, are you married?

One thing, you can't solve violence with violence,and in Nigeria, a man is the head of the family. Lots of woman that do not exchange blow for blow with their husbands are not obtuse, you know?

Don't mba nu me, OK?

I wish some kids would just see how their 'godly' mum rant here. Its very shameful and pathetic.

All the nagging n bragging ladies, do u realise she is stil healing?

Sis Ur hubby fall my hand, am married and frankly my wifey is secons to God in my world. dem no born my sis.

talk to ur hubby wen just d 2 of u r at home. remind him of d promises xpecially to protect u.

if he prove impossible tell him u need a break in the marriage.

Go to ur parents n DONT COME BACK until he truly kiss ur feets n sign a note promising NEVER to raise his hand on.ANY lady again.

Be wise deary.

All d best

Its beta u find how 2go bke 2ur pple,bcoz frm wat u said,he might hit u wit sumtin one of dis days. But frm ur story,i'm not sure if d girl is her sis. Bcareful dnt b cut on aware b smart run @any opp u get. Ur life will b safe wit ur ple dan 2stay there wit dem, n dnt 4get 2pray,comit all dats is happenin 2Gods hands.

debby999: Dear married women and men,pls I need your advice on this issue. I just had a baby boy and still on recovery, my sister inlaw came and Since then my peaceful home has turn to war zone. The next day my husband called me that her siSter reported me to him. So I told him and he to said it was right. I didn't knw they have tabled the matter with their other sisters and all of them called me and saying I must allow their sis. My husband came in I told him all that happened,he couldn't stand on his ground to defened his wife infront of his sisters. I felt unprotected. The last one that happened that made me write this was the day my husband brought up dat issue again,bcose[b] he noticed his sister has not been eaten the food in the house. [/b]He said I have to treat his sisters with care and piortity [/b]my husband pushed me out, took the food frm me and gave his sister to feed him. [b]Carried me up and threw me on the bed, my hand hit the wardrobe, I was carrying. I dressed up to get a recharge card to let my people knw, he carried me up again and threw me on thE bed. I found his sisters sleeping on my bed, I left them and slept on the couch. I asked the little girl he said my husband told them to sleep there.

This story is very sickening.

How insensitive can people be?? These sisters are too cruel and immature.They reason childishly,have no respect for their brother's marriage and have perfected teh act of throwing tantrums to get ur husband's attention.I feel sorry for you.
What are they doing camping in your house by the way For heavens sake! Is he married to his sisters or you? The soooner he makes up his mind the better.
The marriage vows are very clear.Will protect and yaketi shmaketi blablabla.
Blood is thicker than water they say,but a mature man knows how to properly take care of his sisters without allowing them to ruin his marriage.
But this one is choosing to destroy it at the expense of his sisters.
Its sad but his act of throwing you on bed yet you just delivered is a sign of future domestic abuse.It only gets worse if it doesnt stop now.
I dont care about the food or wht.My stand is,they must go to their home and get the hell out of your house for that marriage to stand cz they are not helpful at all.
If they should stay for a short while(jeez how many are they) then they should be offering you support not break you.

That marriage is going down not because of you but because of those women and your husbands stand.You two must talk as one.That way you remain strong.
Please dont fight physically. Let ur family know of the developments(just in case) but stand firm.
Is there a way you can bring a mature relative to stay with you while that inlaw camps? You need somebody on ur side to keep watch and help you till that inlaw goes,cz it's kinda scary.

@OP different strokes for different folks. I grew up in a home where we serve ourselves food. If that's the same kind of home your hubby is from, your not allowing her serve herself may be strange to them even though you might not have been wrong wanting her to seek permission. As for your hubby. I think your hubby should man-up!

This is how abuse starts and the result is either you survive or die in the home.

Though we only heard only your own side of the story, no matter what you did, your husband should be ashamed of himself. This is scary by his actions. You need not to die rather seek the most important person to let them now. The worst thing your husband did was to have allowed his sisters to come and stay in the same house with you.

I pray that God steps in here as you need prayers to be alive in this family because there is nothing EVER you can do to have peace in that house unless God is involved.

In fact I am beginning to ask ladies to watch the kind husband and their immediate families that you intend to marry before you jump in. Ladies should try to be careful to understudy the family of their would be husbands before jumping in. Where you get a guy having several sisters following him, be careful because you might end up having problems at the end. If the guy is from poor background, you will face opposition and might end up being thrown away from the home as they see him as their only store house.

If your husband loves you and they find out, they will go to extra mile to break up the relationship at all cost even jazzing the home with fetish things as Africans. We are wicked in this part of the world.

Poster well, if you are the cause of the problem, you carry your cross, but if not, ONLY God can help you. To me in my house, my wife cooks food and we allow anybody in my house to take the quantity of food they want. We do not dish food in my house, unless you are below the age of 8yrs. Food is nothing than what goes into your mouth and after some hours, it turns to sheath. If they are adult, allow them have their way as they will not stay with you for the rest of their lives. For your own case, where I am afraid, is your husband beating you and your in-laws hating you along with your husband. Death is knocking at your door. So think fast and report this issue of beating.

Ladies, be careful and learn from this kind of homes whereby your husband is the bread winner of their family if you want to be alive.

Listen, 'LOVE IS NOT BLIND' That slogan is gone in the sixties. Not these days. Shine your eyes very well because men these days are something else.

Handling in laws are delicate and complex. When my mother in law do anything wrong I normal send my wife to her. You would have send your husband to your sister in law. Note this in case of next time. However, when my mother was giving my wife much trouble after arrival of my twins I have to quickly send my mother back home. This was drastic but what should I have done, knowing fully well that I got married because my mother can no longer feel that natural vaccum. The position your huband places you matters a lot. From your naration, your husband sees you as a junior person to eveybody in their family and this is where I hate that culture and tradition.

May I let every husband in the house know that no woman allows another hand into her pot without an express approval. WOMEN HATE THIS AND TO THEM IT IS ABOMINABLE ACT. By the way, why will a nursing mother cook when there are sister in law in house? I think the family do treat wives likes slaves. May they reap whatever they sow!

In these days of husband killing wife, I suggest you move out to safety especially if you can fend for yourself and kid rather than being died.

When he comes for reconciliation, you can table conditions for your going back which includes: He must vow never to lay hand on you again. He must see you as second in command in your matrimonial home but I hope you are properly married to him. If not, the battle is going to be fierce and I cannot guarantee you victory.

I just had to login to state how steewpid i think the OP is. All this trouble because your inlaw went to take food from the pot? What if she sat down and waited for you to serve her and bring it to the table. Another complaint abi? You are not mature enough for marriage. This is a very steewpid and unnecessary fight. Just tell the truth, you are the kind of sister in law that doesnt want their inlaws around.Does your sister come and beg you that they want to eat and you should come and serve their food before they eat? What if you are not around, they should starve to death? What a very crazy topic. Are you and your husband suffering so much that you cant afford the food? Abi wetin be the problem. Stop complaining about trivial issues. huh

If a man cannot protect his woman in his own house then who'll? If we say she's stup0id for questioning her sister in-law, then what will you say about the man and his brothers in-law? Would you as a man stand and watch another man take your thing without seeking your permission even if it was your own brother? Lets say the truth and give good advice.

2mch: I just had to login to state how steewpid i think the OP is. All this trouble because your inlaw went to take food from the pot? What if she sat down and waited for you to serve her and bring it to the table. Another complaint abi? You are not mature enough for marriage. This is a very steewpid and unnecessary fight. Just tell the truth, you are the kind of sister in law that doesnt want their inlaws around.Does your sister come and beg you that they want to eat and you should come and serve their food before they eat? What if you are not around, they should starve to death? What a very crazy topic. Are you and your husband suffering so much that you cant afford the food? Abi wetin be the problem. Stop complaining about trivial issues. huh

Unlike others here you have a good brain.

What Nigerian women fail to know is what's called Maturity and Adaptation.

However, her husband is not being mature as well. A role of a man is to maintain peace in his family

I wouldn't allow one wife or one family to be controlling me like a pet

DONT WORRY THANK GOD SHE IS ALSO A WOMAN SHE WILL EAT THE FRUIT OF HER LABOR, AND FOR YOU THERE IS NOTHING PRAYER CAN NOT DO, KEEP ON PRAYING FOR YOU HUSBAND HE SURELY COME BACK TO HIS SENSES... BUILD YOUR HOME THE LORD WILL SEE YOU THROUGH.

jennykadry: ^^You are crazy. Infact devil punish you the next time you mention "apologise". A man physically hurt his wife who just put to bed recently and you are here telling her she wasn't diplomatic. Thunder blend your nyash like cray fish diaaaaa. EEDIOT oshi, ewu ocha, anu mpam.

My name is Afam and i endorse this message.

@OP
Any marriage that a husband cannot defend his wife in front of his siblings is a no no. I don't even know the advise to give you right now but things can only get worse except you allow your husband's sisters to do as they like in your matrimonial home. Why are some men like this? It reminds me of the role Tony Umez plays in most of his movies.

^^I hope know that members not in your immediate family belongs to a set called VISITORS? Be it your mum or dad or relatives. They're all GUESTS and so should be treated as GUESTS!

obasijoy: @ op. I have been married before but now divorce with a son. I know no matter how good you are to your husband people and him, what will happen must happen, still that continue to be good because there is a great reward for it. MY ADVISE to you which I know it must quench that fire in house is simple, as for now your husband's mind is poisoned that you don't love any member of his family. Please just call your husband and his sister together *TOGETHER* tell them this please I don't like how devil wants to destroy this happy home because of food or something else. If food is the problem, chioma or whatever your sister inlaws name eat and honey depending on what you call your husband please we don't have to destroy our own home or generation pls we are all one. I am part of your family *you are now answering there name* I am chioma's elder sister if she wants to respect me let her do but if she doesn't want to respect me your wife and you are in support of it so be it. Please all I want in my home is peace. Honey I love you so much and also your family we are all one please. N/B: make sure you talk to them together. I promise you this must restore your joy and respect in your home more especially your hubby love for you. I believe the have sense. Please don't you ever revenge. IF REVENGE IS SWEET, WHY DOES IT LEAVE A BITTER TASTE.

Smart Woman
with real life experiences
At the end of the day
it is about having a happy home

2mch: I just had to login to state how steewpid i think the OP is. All this trouble because your inlaw went to take food from the pot? What if she sat down and waited for you to serve her and bring it to the table. Another complaint abi? You are not mature enough for marriage. This is a very steewpid and unnecessary fight. Just tell the truth, you are the kind of sister in law that doesnt want their inlaws around.Does your sister come and beg you that they want to eat and you should come and serve their food before they eat? What if you are not around, they should starve to death? What a very crazy topic. Are you and your husband suffering so much that you cant afford the food? Abi wetin be the problem. Stop complaining about trivial issues. huh

It's not that there's anything wrong with her sister in-law taking food from the pot, but there has to be courtesy and the relationship they have also comes into play here. It's disrespectful to open someone's pot and take food. That's the height of it.

[quote author=pendo89]

This story is very sickening.
How insensitive can people be?? These sisters are too cruel and immature.They reason childishly,have no respect for their brother's marriage and have perfected teh act of throwing tantrums to get ur husband's attention.I feel sorry for you.
What are they doing camping in your house by the way For heavens sake! Is he married to his sisters or you? The soooner he makes up his mind the better.
The marriage vows are very clear.Will protect and yaketi shmaketi blablabla.
Blood is thicker than water they say,but a mature man knows how to properly take care of his sisters without allowing them to ruin his marriage.
But this one is choosing to destroy it at the expense of his sisters.
Its sad but his act of throwing you on bed yet you just delivered is a sign of future domestic abuse.It only gets worse if it doesnt stop now.
I dont care about the food or wht.My stand is,they must go to their home and get the hell out of your house for that marriage to stand cz they are not helpful at all.
If they should stay for a short while(jeez how many are they) then they should be offering you support not break you.

That marriage is going down not because of you but because of those women and your husbands stand.You two must talk as one.That way you remain strong.
Please dont fight physically. Let ur family know of the developments(just in case) but stand firm.
Is there a way you can bring a mature relative to stay with you while that inlaw camps? You need somebody on ur side to keep watch and help you till that inlaw goes,cz it's kinda scary.
{quote]

In Life you have to be diplomatic
You use force for lot of men
force go meet force