Chubhie: Coincidentally, A very good friend of mine went to the hospital to check his genotype and that of his babe. He is AC while d babe is SC. Mind you theirs is a relationship of 3years+ and bout heading for the Altar. He was very scared and knowing the true love that they both shared, I had to first calm his mind. Will have to get them all the materials required in this issue for them to see and make an informed decision.

If you don't mind, you can show them my threads here on NL.
I have always maintained that Love is not enough reason to endanger the children you will have in future.
NB
Well we have stem cell transplant in Nigeria now. I think it goes for 2million naira (am not sure). So you can also tell them about that.

baralatie:
i hope d reason for this wedding cancelatn is not of bbm,facebuk chatting!

He is not the same person.

andromida:


Can he introduce her to these ladies? maybe they can build trust again.

This is a No-No. From experience some ladies don't mind. And they may even start scheming the more to push her away or cause trouble and take over.
Even if they don't take over, they will make sure to ruin his relationship.

Phema:

You know, at first, they might not seem to care, but when they see the relationship is getting serious and might lead to marriage, they have a rethink, come up with excuses or frustrate you till you separate.

I'm glad you didn't take this the wrong way. I sincerely wish you well in your endeavours.

In addition, they stay until they have gotten more than a 'little' goodies/help from me, and they take off.
So I have decide to keep additional 'friends' on the side, mainly online to activate if need be.

Phema: Abali1, I've been reading your posts and have tried so hard not to bring this up. . .

I'm sorry I had to. . . Don't you think those exes left cos of genotype incompatibility? Honestly, not many ladies, especially Nigerian, will want to even date an SS man, talk more marry him. Even if they would want to, what about their parents? Coupled with the poor awareness.

Please, in all honesty, I'm not trying to "rub it all in", just looking at things from another perspective.

what you said is true. But why leave after 'Wasting my time' so to speak. Even when they know about the Genotype stuff from the beginning and their parents and siblings equally know.
Common, I am not siding that guy cos of my exes/issues. But I believe somehow that the guy in this thread is not really that bad, as he is being portrayed...

cancerlib:
Honestly I don't know what's running through her head. I sent her a link so she read all the comments. She picked up a fresh fight with the guy. He said he only changed those ladies names cos he doesn't want her to see that they are still calling him. That most of them are only for chatting sake and he delete chats/call logs out of respect for her. He said he has cut them off and they'll b tired when he doesn't call them back. She said he's a liar et al and told him she's taking a walk can't stand him.
So he said before he was guilty but presently he's guilty of no sin and he said he can swear and all that. He said he's tired of defending himself cos it seems she wnt be trusting him again, she's made up her mind to quit, so she shd call both parents and tell them her decision since she's d one quitting not him (acting all macho IMO).
Meanwhile he called her bestie and narratted everythn, how he cheated but has quitted et al, that my sis has insisted she's leaving but she's d only one he truly love,was just playing around blah blah, the friend said he was almost crying on phone. The friend calld my sis and I believe their discussion has weakened her resolve.
For now, I really can't tell what's on her mind.

Hmmmmmm.
It's her decision to make. But, hope she doesn't take a walk and later regrets everything. Sometimes Life is not only Black and White, there are shades of gray.
A guy who is that caring and loving and deletes call logs and chats out of Respect for your sis may not be all that bad. And who says the 'faithful' guy may really be the Love Of Her of Life.
Like I will tell my girl, "Look before you leap", cos after leaping you may not have that initial chance of looking. You will then be battling with landing on your two feet.

baby_123: People, once there is a proposal please drop your first, second and third options. I personally don't think all is spoiled if the guy is a good guy. Good thing he has been caught now so they can work on that issue. If he is unwilling to change then she can take a walk. If the girl can honestly say throughout dating him she didn't have other options then maybe she should find someone like her. If she did, well na who dem catch be thief

Thank you. Many has been sounding like the 'Perfect' beings they are not.

@Cancerlib,
I can see you reading this thread. Hope things are still ok, with the two (your sis and fiance).
I have a feeling the guy is not all that bad, no matter what is said here.

andromida:

And if she is not sure he is cheating

Abeg, Is Chating, emails, phone calls, sms, Cheating?
I keep hearing cheating, cheating...... what exactly is the definition of cheating?

Ujujoan:




If she caught him in bed with another woman, it would have been a different thing entirely.

But she just saw messages, no concrete proof. All she has is his word and he swears they are just friends. Going by his actions, he's the perfect man.

Shebi this was my earlier stand and the women were calling for my head.
NB
"All she has is his word and he swears they are just friends".

Ujujoan:

The next thing he'll say naw is you are working out your anger issues on him

www.nairaland.com/1111612/how-much-reveal-partner
NB
Until marriage I am done being the Honest to God kind of guy in a relationship. Say what you like, I wear those shoes.

bukatyne:

And the vow contains a magical power?

I laugh in Spanish!

Don't worry, if she ok with you flirting before marriage, it will not such an issue afterwards.

I was Faithful first, before I became (partially) Unfaithful. It is in my nature to be good and stick to my words, not to talk of a vow I take before God and Man.
You can laugh all you want, but I know myself.

Ujujoan:

Angry ke? Not a chance, just a little irritated!

So you keep a number of girlfriends, big deal? Live your life the way you want, nobody's holding you to any standards. Just don't blame it on your exes. It sounds rather lame!

Thank You. I never blamed my Exes... I only learnt from them.

Ujujoan:

Except of course you guys are living in delusion . . .

Women cheat as much as men now . . . they just hide it better!

You can't eat your cake and have it, it's the law of mother nature.

Uju,
You are obviously angry at some thing else. Work on it.

andromida:

Don't worry you will get over this phase.

On that day I take my Marital Vows, is the day I am getting over it. Cos, I will stick to my vows since I made it in the Presence of God and Man.

Ujujoan:
It's a big bad world out there, you need to toughen up!

Beside the quoted part, I will say that you are sounding very angry. It may be a kind of Reverse Psychology, but work at your anger.
NB
I am not out to get back at the women folk. After all I have a lot of females as relations. But the truth is that it is a big bad world out there... And we all handle it differently.
You can decide to cry and blame everyone without taking precautionary measures. Or you could actually decide to protect yourself and do what has to be done.
Telling me to stick to one woman, who may take a walk any day she fancies it and leave me searching again is a NO-NO. I keep 'friends' on the side to move on as quick as possible when it happens. I have no Crystal glass to watch to know the events of the future.

andromida:
Honestly this guy is not all bad. He is just not ready for monogamy to blame him for the choice of the woman is wrong. He has not forced her to stay engaged to him though i know men with their sweet talks, plus emotional investment she has made and i feel for her but she is choosing to stay. She can take a break from the relationship and sort her feelings out,taking a break does not mean she has to go flirting around to prove a point she can just take a break and enjoy sanity, she does not even have to quit the relationship.
2)_[b]During the break she may even meet a better man[/b]. Instead of blaming the man she can ask herself "what am i doing here? The man is taking care of himself, enjoying his life, he is priority in his own life and her own life. Since he is doing what he likes its wisdom for her to put herself as priority in her life and do what she enjoys as well. Complaining and blaming him is a waste of time. If she decides to marry him she should not expect him to cherish her feelings until further notice when and if he chooses to retire from the game.

In one breath you advices she take a break from the relationship, but she doesn't need to quit. That means, she should string the man along, until she meets another man, 'better' than the present one.
You see what I find anoying. She should keep stringing the man, until someone better comes along. If she doesn't see anyone better than the present man..... she then goes ahead to marry him, and claim the 'long suffering' girlfriend cum wife.
If she finds someone better, she blames the man for 'cheating' on her and pushing her out into the 'loving' arms of her present prince charming.
#Brilliant.

bukatyne: Defender of the brethren,

I know you are viewing this thread

Something needs to be done about the quality of men been churned out daily

It is well

The same with the Character of the Ladies, who think they are too good for some men. It goes both ways.
You can't treat a guy as if he is stupid, and you will want his friends and brothers to treat the next female as if she is an Angel. Some people must pay for the sins commited by their kind, whether guys or ladies.
It's a Vicious Cycle. God for us all.

chaircover: Bro Abali, dont give up and dont change. You just haven't found the right one yet

My only concern is why are they all playing fast ones on you? Where are you meeting these girls? What are you flashing in front of them? What are they befriending? You or your assets? . . . . . . maybe that is the root cause of the matter.

The Bolded, is one of the reason that makes me behave as if I have changed.
When you are good to people (not just girls), the ride rough shod over you. But if you behave as if you are truely bad/evil you see people being careful and thinking things through before they offend you. Because they believe that you will not let the 'hurt' go unpunish and they will definitly lose your friendship.
Aunty CC, Change is constant. I try not to be too good or too bad.... At least I avoid both extremes. But I got to do what I got to do to protect heart from hurt.
I always have some ladies stand-by as friends incase my 'Angel' decides to chop winch over night.

Donxavier:

Right now, my mentality about marriage is that if you are married, honor your vows. Stick with your wife and care about your woman.

Good point.

taharqa: Thank you too..... Although, I heard from d NTA and that d actual total cost for this particular operation was #2.5million (although d UBTH would bear some of this cost). It seems the cost was increased this time around. The young boy in question was interviewed in that news item, and he has not been released cos he has not been able to fully pay his part of d cost... There has to be a Subsidy (Or rather a Susport System) that significantly reduces the associated costs for patients. Sickle Cell Ameania is a 'Black man' disease; and Nigeria has d largest carriers worldwide...

Be adviced that it is racially discriminatory to say that Sickle Cell is the 'Black Mans' disease. There are people of other races who suffer from Sickle Cell Anaemia.
Yes, Nigeria is arguably the largets carriers because we have a very large population..
NB
We have the Sickle Cell Center in Lagos, but I doubt that they will ever support this type of Initiative at UBTH.

FILEBE: Pls. Someone shuld pls educate us about stem cells transplant. Dnt tell me to check Google o. I prefer the the summary.

Ok. Since you won't consult google (I will also not consult google).
I believe that Stem Cell Transplant has to do with removing the bone marrow from a healhty individual and transplanting it (or putting it) in the marrow of the patient who needs it.
The bone marrow is where blood is manufatured. Before, stem cell transplant) was normally used to cure people with Lukeamia (cancer of the blood). But with advance in medical science it is being introduced in the cure of Sickle Cell patients. Also, there is another cure which is the transplanting of Umblical Cord Blood in babies.
NB
Most of these curative methods are done for children and adolecents.
A doctor can explain better or still try google.

Ujujoan:

Seriously, did you just say that

I wonder what we'll say to women who got married as virgins . . . is it also cool for them to 'rock life well' while married

Some are virgins only in a unbroken hymen. A virgin who indulges in all sorts, is no longer a virgin.

goodheart4God:

My only prayer for you that whatsoever you wished your girlfriends or wife-to-be to accept, may God give her the same heart to start doing what you are doing and give you the love with full portion to accept them. Amen. Before you swear for me just say Amen. I am just giggling as am typing this.

Why will I swear for you? I have come to accept that it's a dog eat dog 'relationship' world. I have been there, believe me.
I have been good and was hurt. I tried being bad, and couldn't. I went back to be good and was hurt severly again, and again and again.
Do you know that at each end of a relationship journey, I will call the lady on phone and pray for her to find the peace and happiness that she seeks. Early this year, I actually invited the last one and ask her to kneel while we pray. Cos I know that relationship journey is not always easy.
The funny thing is that all, even the married Ex, wants to keep being friends. I may sound like a bad boy, but..........
NB
I think I have found the one, but I am afraid to believe and trust again.

,

Donxavier:

I only wonder if everybody walks out of a relationship at the slightest hints of flirtation, how many people would be married today?

Abeg helep me 'axe' them ohh.

yellowpawpaw: The truth is this. The devil u know is better than d one u don't know. A lot of ladies c these signs in their r/ships and still enter. If he is gonna make her happy irrespective of the so called chats bluhaha, let her be.
We always want an idealistic husband and home but majority of us has to accept the reality on ground.
Armed robbers, ritualists, lazy bombom guys, yahoo guys r some ladies husbands and b4 marriage some of these ladies r aware.
Its still d same thing as knowing that ur lady is very extravagant,yet u chuk head or she was an aristo b4 she met u.
If the lady in question is the type that can handle such men(yes, each person has his or her match somewhere), by all means let her go ahead. Who knows she can use wisdom to turn him away from such acts. But if she is d type that is wiredd not to tolerate such men, its better she call it quit.
Then again, its her friends(assuming she told them)whom adviced her to run for her dear life that will still want to lure the guy their ways.

YPP,
abeg take e-five.
Chai! this your post pass any cool drink wey you wan buy for me. I already started doubting if I was making sense to only my self.
NB
OP, gather all these posts on this thread and dump it on your sisters lap. Let her read each carefully and make her choice.

amiraland:
I can bet my november salary that the ops sister will still go ahead with the marriage even with all the advice that has been dished out.

So because of your November Salary you want OP's sister to walk away from a man that makes her happy. Let me ask you, "Do You have a ''perfect man for her"?"
Nairaland is not REALITY LAND. A lot of ladies (and guys) are out there fasting and praying for a better half, some even complaining to the government and you want OP's sister to throw away the one she has.
NB
Only the lady in question can make that decision and no one else. November salary or not.

Chillisauce:

Hmmm....
Sweetheart

Chili,
No come pour sand sand for my garri ohh.
Phema is the only babe on NL that have called me such sweet sounding, endearing name.....
Who knows, it may be the beginning of a 'new thing.'

Phema:

Didn't you know the thread was not all you when you brought your relationship issues on here?

Phema dear,
I didn't bring in all me into this thread. i only answered Aunty Efe's last question. Read my previous posts, I was only trying to present another side of an arguement.
The guy's side of the story hasn't been heard and I decided to assume the role of a defendant on behalf of the guy based on solely assumptions.

Phema:

Correct Dude! You should just make it an open relationship then since you really don't care.

Please let's re-focus on the thread. If I need relationship advice, I will open a thread.

Phema:

The babe stayed out of your phone cos she does same exact Thing! Only that women are smarter.

Na today?

Good for her.
I learned a long time ago that one of the prevention of Hypertension is to 'mind your business' and know your boundaries.
If anything is so important to know, you will definitely know it one or another.
If I snoop on her and find her chating with other guys what do you expect me to do? Freak out?
I got better things to do than monitoring a girl am dating.