Ab025:
@poster...that's normal with women sha, they can't stand being shared with anyone else but in this case, it's quite surprising it's her daughter!!

Anyway, you just have to let her know she is the best thing that ever happened to you, make her feel secured and tell her u luv her more than you guy's daughter (even if it means lying about that for now)

At the end of the day, she is still just a woman, so don't be surprised by her Q!!

And the bolded means what ?

You just started looking for a job in March, 3 months ago and you have already given up because no job is forth coming. Like seriously ! Abeg you need to be persistent. Of course, nobody prays for a prolonged job hunting, but I mean 3 months is too short to start complaining.

If you are having financial challenges with 2 kids, how much more four kids. Bearing kids and working can be combined, it is not a must you must sit at home to have kids. Mind you, a pregnant woman looking for a job has slimmer chances of securing a job as most employers will be considering 3 months maternity for a very new staff. That is just the reality except it is a government job. So it is advisable to secure a job first and continue with child bearing.

Another thing you may also consider is if you have plans to work (I mean paid employment) but decided to put off working till you are done with child bearing, you will be about 36years+ without any work experience. Nothing bad with this if you plan to be self employed but most HR will think twice before employing such but again except for government agencies.

It is well.

Hian , nobody owns him, he owns himself . Is a man commodity that must be owned by someone. If at all anyone wants to claim ownership, then leave that ownership position to God.

I recall one of the flights I had with my daughter when she was about 18 months old. The journey to Lagos was very smooth but coming back to Abuja was something else . I know she doesnt like to be restricted as she loves exploring her environment. Immediately we boarded and was seated she started throwing tantrums. This developed into serious crying and she refused to be consoled. All efforts to pacify her failed i.e music, pictures, games, snacks etc People were just giving us this funny look. The only time she kept quiet was when I strolled down with her to the restroom. At some point an hostess had to tell me to be seated and fasten my seat belt when she noticed I was standing up to pacify a wailing baby

Was I able to do anything about it? No, at least not while we were still on board! However, immediately we alighted her mood changed and she became the charming baby once again.

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

crazysaint:
I know a good numbers of men don't have time for this shit.

I can't but shudder at some people's thought process. Bathing your own baby 'poo /shi.t'.
Seriously, you need prayers. And one day this one too will marry and have kids. Kai, abeg women should shine their eyes o.

MarvellousGod:
Your first paragraph makes no sense to me... who told the public about the incidence if not those involved?? .. Abi the media na witch?? What you don't tell the public, they won't have a glimpse of... but once you bring your issue to the public, be ready for whatever you get because these bloggers yearning for news to spice up their platform will help you take it to the world...i only pity the lil gal in question..


Being at the award giving ceremony together would have been an avenue to maybe rekindle their love.. The woman should have given her husband the honor too. The organizers also didn't play their part well, they should have only allowed a representative with the father's consent.

If you actually read what I wrote very well, you will understand I was directing my statement to the father who spoke to Encomium. Please read again

And why bring this to Nairaland ? Must we publicize all family issues with pictures and full names? For heaven's sake spare the little girl of this unwarranted negative publicity. The father speaking to Encomium self speaks volume. Nobody is denying you as the father. Instead of ironing out issues with the mother he took to media. It is like destroying one another via social media and the likes is in vogue now.

Although the woman should have informed the baby father all the same. That he turned down making the video at some point does not necessarily mean he will turn down attending the grand finale. I am only wondering that since he registered her, why wasn't he following the competition stages.

HerexG:



Why didn't the lady park into her matrimonial home after the traditional marriage, she gave room for temptation by waiting for the unnecessary White wedding.

So for him waiting for six months is an impossible task. You are even blaming the lady for the man's indiscipline and stoo.pidity. What a life! Don't you know patience is a virtue. It is this type of mentality that supports infidelity. So if d wife travels for six months, the man will go ahead and impregnate another lady because she gave room for temptation. Nawa o

mutter:
Previous properties are in both names so what rainy day are you saving for?
He has already provided for the rainy day.
You are about to remove the mantel and both of you will eventually get wet.

I am not keeping any secret from him, he is aware of my plans. Rainy day because my plan is to sell it later if and when the need arises. The previous one I purchased was in our names cos the plan is to develop that.

Hi, I just saw this thread https://www.nairaland.com/2134481/hypocrisy-marriage/1#30541054 and it got me wondering if it is wrong for a married woman to own a property in her name.

I know of couples who have joint properties and at the same time properties in their individual names. E.g you hear people saying my car, my hubby's car, my wife's car etc Is this actually wrong or does it mean hypocrisy? This issue has been on my mind for a while and I will like to have people's opinions on this.

I want to cite my own case as an example. I work for a private organisation and by June my current contract will expire. We are not really sure if our project will be renewed as this depends on donor funding. I have been thinking about using the loose fund I have now to buy a landed property incase of a rainy day (considering the uncertainty of job continuity). Going by that thread, I am wondering if it is wrong to do this. My intention has been discussed with hubby though and he seemed to support the idea but I know he prefers it to be in the name of Mr and Mrs. Of note is that previous assets acquired are in both names but does being married deny you of buying some things in your own name?

I will need your candid opinion please.

At any given opportunity, commend and praise her for what she is doing right. Even when she has made a mistake, gently and lovingly point this out and never compare her with her peers. Try to make her feel good about herself. Tell her regularly that she is pretty and smart.Some parent think that by condemning or criticizing a child frequently, they are motivated to do better. Well, for some children this may work but for many, it may break their spirit and make them feel inferior with the mindset that they can never match up with others.

And why do you think the mother is contributing to this?

Cutehector4u:
Buy her attractiv clothes nd shoes and thinhs dah wil mk her frnds envious.

This may not be the best way to go. It is not only about what she wears i.e cloth and shoes, self esteem comes from within. That is why some adult can only feel good with materials things. They keep buying shoes, bags, cars etc to feel good with themselves but inwardly they are empty.

@ poster, please watch this, maybe you'll learn something from the little girl

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=858960624161909&set=vb.386149218109721&type=2&theater

Cheers.

Different strokes for different folks. I remember the day that I was having this discussion with my hubby, we recently just got married then, somehow sha, he implied that he was working because of me. I said no, I did not agree that he was working to make himself a better person. Till date, he still makes reference to that statement cos he felt hurt. I wish I didn't say that though. To me, I felt that was the truth but no, he was hurt in the process.

People's psyche are different. Your wife might feel diminished by your statement. Apologize o.

No bikini parties for my kids, call me local if you want, but that is me. What arrant nonsense! With deranged people everywhere I wont expose my kids unnecessarily to danger. With full dress on self, my little girl gets attention from people because of her cute looks. God help me to raise well behaved children with a good dose of morals. Amen

I can't really type epistle now but going by all your posts especially this last one, this is what I have to say:

1. If I were you, I will take hubby's word with a pinch of salt. All this seems like a calculated attempt to cover up his tracks. He has really messed up and surely knows how to wrap you around his fingers.
2. He needs to pick up a paid employment immediately. Let him know his been idle is not helping matters, with his kind of personality he needs to be fully engaged.
3. Let him know that if he refuses to go for paid employment, then you guys don't need a nanny. He should be ready to take care and babysit since he has much time on his hands. You need to cut costs and stop footing avoidable bills.
4. The last thing you should agree to is him hand-picking the next maid.

I am really pissed sha. May God teach you how to handle this you really need a big dose of wisdom. I also think you may need to talk to your maid's sister. She seems to have guts and I think its likely she comes out with the true situation.

Do take care.

Good morning to you all!

Please I need an advice on this issue. If your hubby had a disagreement with an elderly neighbour although if most of the exchange was through text messages and it was obvious your hubby went overboard and was using rude languages. Is it proper for the wife to call the elderly neighbour and apologise. This scenario happened to me, I witnessed the hot phone conversation and later hubby showed me the series of messages exchanged. I felt very bad because his choice of words were rather uncalled for. He gets angry very easily and I didn't want him to transfer the aggression to me. Telling him to apologize to the woman will definitely meet a brick wall and I don't want him to go moody on me which may last for days. I am thinking of doing it myself but I if he knows that may be another issue.

Is it okay to go ahead and apologize myself?

(Sorry if the question sounds silly )

Godmystrength: @OP- i feel your pains.

What you need to do is win your wife back.
woo her all over again, take her out for shopping, help with the house chores and the kids, make her breakfast in bed, spoil her silly with so much love and affection, ignore the uk guy and her other numerous male friends. in fact, you can invite some of them over to the house for dinner. try to take care of yourself and look good for her. but good perfumes and use them so you can smell nice. make sure you go to have your hair cut regularly. improve on your bedroom skills and give it to her so much that she won't have energy for the outside men....wake her up one of the nights, prostrate flat, hold her legs, cry ocean and BEG her to come back to you and that you are sorry for whatever you might have done to hurt her, don't forget to promise never to do them again. My fingers are paining me now. will be back for the remaining part...

jeez, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. You only left out the red pant and bra aspect, possibly blue briefs or something . And the table turns.....

Eh ya, meeting a lady a virgin doesn't guarantee happy home or good character. There is more to a marriage than "I met her a virgin". 6 months only and he is fed up, I wonder how he will cope for 5yrs, 10yrs, 20yrs. He should also tell her what he wants from the marriage and they both should reach a reasonable compromise.

Kai, the man has married "gobe", see rules o. Her rules are annoying and very unreasonable. If he can't cope he should go for trial separation until she comes to her senses.

See question I leave for work everyday by 6am and come back 7 or 8pm, I have several commitments that occupy my weekends and I still have to create time to bond with my family. So must I hand wash his cloth or mine myself? Op tell me o, what does it cost to get a washing machine or get someone to do the laundry? You need to understand that to many women out there, time is money, time is precious and hand washing for hours is time wasting when there are better options. If you have all the time to hand wash, all good but don't raise your eyebrow if others don't.

I can imagine the kind of people the op associate with, it tells a lot about you. Road side food indeed. Abeg, as Pickabeau said, step up.

I will blame myself for being careless with such a document knowing fully well what I went through to secure the visa. It is very easy for parents to vent their anger on their wards but really in this case the parent must also share in the blame. At certain stage in children's lives, you will need to do the reasoning for them, especially when they are still toddlers- you put some things away beyond their reach. If my 2years old baby does that to my passport, I have no one but myself to blame because she has no idea the importance of the document. But for a grown child, he/she won't find it funny.

Symphony007: it's their tradition. Every year, hundreds of topless virgins dance before the king and he picks a wife amongs them.

Every what? . So if he lives for 20 - 30 years on the throne he would have acquired the same number of wives!!! This is barbaric. No wonder the HIV/AIDS Prevalence rate is so high (26.5%).

udumosam23:



I understand your sentiments dear, have been following your line of argument. Its not that I can't do it or I resent her, no. Intact I desire her at every turn, just that I feel that we are abusing the act, I have always considered sex to be special and should be approached respectfully, (my opinion anyway).

But I've heard you, if it will put her in harms way, then I'll brace up, just that atimes her timing conflicts with other activity, and she can will always want me to delegate them and stay at home, and I'm considering that as been lazy for a man of my age. I'll try.

Thanks to you all. Just want to know if my case is different anyway. Would have been glad if I had friends that I can discuss such issues with freely. Thank God for this forum.

Exactly what Efe was saying.

@op how are you abusing the act ? for heavens sake is she not your wife? How do you approach sex respectfully?- by reading psalms and praying before the act I guess . Abeg, loosen up and don't be so uptight.

packman: hello this question goes to the men would you allow your wife drive your car to work, market, or any where
a friend of mine was actually saying he would never allow his wife drive his car he would instead get a car for her than allowing her drive his car
i asked the reason and he said and i quote " A CAR IS A PERSONAL ITEM AND ARE NOT TO BE SHARED"
ME NOT GIVING MY WIFE MY CAR DOES MEAN I DON'T LOVE HER"
so i am throwing the question out would you allow your wife ride your car....
ehn..... please i never get motor oooo and i never marry ooooooo
[size=20pt]so my own answer would be lets wait till then [/size]
#teamlovewarriors abeg make una no attack me oooo

0

And if it's the wife that first bought a car, I wonder how your friend will feel if his wife gives that same response. I tire with all this mentality self.

kinharold:
Thanks my Aunty. @Bolded; this morning I took my Daddy's BB phone from where he left it and I was "eating" the thing but it wasnt going. I soaked the damn thing with my saliva until it stopped working. Daddy had to remove and dry the battery; it took him about two hours before he got his phone back on again.

Wow! Well done big boy but easy o and don't let daddy start keeping his mobiles away from u.

Daddy- well come to d world of exploring baby.

Just wondering how close is Abakaliki to Abagana and is Abagana known to many people? The girl in question may not mean any harm at all, you just find out why she didnt tell you the exact place she is from. For example, when people ask me where I am from, I usually mention the main & popular town that is close to my hometown to avoid further unnecessary question especially people that is not too familiar with the state.

This issue is nothing at all except you have something else against her.

@op, great tips u have there. I currently have a help that is leaving this december ending. That I will miss her is an understatement cos she is good and has a likeable spirit. I took to her the very first time I met her but she too has to move on.

I have a 10month old baby and how I wish I close earlier from work. I am still on my way home as I am writing this. Which creche will take care of my baby till dis time? - the main reason why I think I need an help. Before our baby arrived, there was no need for any but now..... Most times I am already fagged out by the time I get home to start preparing dinner so I usually cook over the weekend while my help defrost and prepare whatever that will go with it.

For me, going by my current schedule, it may be a bit challenging without an help. But I make sure I treat them well and no underage help for me.

It is normal for you to feel this way being that it's the first time she is driving alone. At least it's a good way for her to learn fast and practice what she has learnt without anyone critisizing her.
Don't worry, she will be fine. Most women will not go out with a car if they are not sure of driving it to safety.

I pray my husband will trust me with our car sha. I've been begging him to teach me for months but he has not been forthcoming. He thinks I should have known how to drive by sitting beside him while he drives. I had to register in a driving school a couple of weeks ago.

It is well.

Like seriously? An actor indeed. Basking in the euphoria of ignorance

Congrats Phema. It shall be well with your marriage.

Concerning the catering aspect, why not hire a caterer that will come with all her serving dishes, waiters, spoons, cups, coolers etc You will be the one to buy the food items and ingredients as u wish and she will cook at your desired location, transport it to the venue and serve your guests with all her things. And of course she will organise how to pack her plates and other items at d end of the event. This way u will avoid the disappointments associated with per plate and u will also save yourself d stress of hiring, counting,washing and returning plates.

This is what I did, I paid 70k for d service (in lagos) and it was really worth it.

As for buying ur gown online, pls don't try it biko. See what u want to buy and try it on.

All the best.