engrsyer:
The girl is the greatest fool of this century.

May be she is comfortable in her parents house and her parents are happy seeing her.

By the time you get to 50 years and no husband, pls don't disturb my dear Father in Heaven with your foolish prayer point for husband.

Go and marry Pope John Paul because you will wait forever if you're looking for a man who has not or will never cheat on their partner

divinelove: Op ur man is a financial illiterate, he needs to b educated abt hw money works.
Since u ve some financial discipline, given ur saving culture, then teach him some.its shockin to kw he has no savin culture. Besides saving u guys shld also think abt investin too

bluuu: ^^ exactly my tot.y would he make sure he finishes ur savings.looks lik he doesnt want u being financially independent so as not to feel u r a 'challenge' to him which implies domineering. evaluate ur relatiinship if he s bossy or not

jaz: the question is do u want to marry him cos if so, ur pastor is not obligated to deny both of u saying healing must come first. its not biblical nor is it godly. if the church is the issue go to another church or do court and traditional wedding.
both of u have to decide if u want eachother regardless of the health issues and go to God in prayers. don't reveal his status to anybody not even his family. its not necessary and no good can come from it

ifegy:

At some point, both of you will have to tell the truth either as you keep on waiting, or when you break up. What has he been saying to the people asking questions? How do you really feel about this whole thing? It sounds like he rushed things because he didn't want to lose you, and was somehow hoping things would work out. You are not obligated to keep waiting, you know.

bukatyne: You are welcome

Is he the firstborn/son?Do they have a closely knit family? Did they pull resources together to train him?

As for reason for not assisting you, takehis word for it and don't assume till proven otherwise

Have you both started planning your home?

bukatyne:

I can see your answers in my post

next time, just type after

Ask him why did not give you the money as promised, it would help you understand his view regarding money

As for the no saving part, when do you both plan to marry? Is there a house and other thingsin place?

If the spending is the only issue, it is your duty to encourage him on how to spend/save. Everyone is a rough diamond and that might be his own area of weakness. When he offers to buy stuffs that are not necessary or can wait, lovingly remind him that you have a home to build and there is till timefor future spoiling. You can also research about investments he can go into depending on his income.

Depending on the type of relationship you run, yoy can offer to shop for him (with the aim of getting quality things at cheaper rate). Find out the avenue he spends money and try to curtail it.

This is also an opportunity for you to discuss how finances will be run in your home and the model you will adopt.

Above all, ensure the issue is orted out before you wed.

Goodluck

torkaka: initially we found it difficlut to deal with it but as time went on every one accepted it (infact we hardly remember her health condition) and now she is happily married. LET YOUR FAMILY KNOW! EVERY OTHER THING WILL FALL IN PLACE.

bukatyne: @OP:

One of the qualities of a quality husband is one who help you to grow and such a quality is not developed overnight.

You did not state what you needed money for however, I expected you to use part of your savings for it.

Permit me not to disclose what the money was for, so he doesn't stumble on this and know its him.


Have you been asking him for money before he knew your savings or this is the first time?
He's known all the while. I don't hide anything from him.

Does he have a plan for your future? has he proposed marriage to you or are you just stringing yourself along with him?
Yes, he has proposed.

Did you confirm he has no savings/investments or is it just the word of his mouth?
I have confirmed. He just squanders his money. He's the fun loving type. Loves to party and wear expensive(good)things.
Please answer and we will take it from there

Stay calm

lareine: Is it true that most guys don't like it when their women have more money than they do? This is my observation. I told my fiancé about my savings. Something cropped up which he had promised to help me with financially. Suddenly he declined. When I asked why he said I should use my savings. This is money I have saved for 2 years. He doesn't have any savings even though his salary is 6times mine. He made sure he helped me spend the money and was even asking for more just to be sure I had nothing left. I feel so bad, that he should be encouraging me to save. Besides. He wants to know when I'm paid salary and how much? How I spend money etc. I have decided not to let him know about my finances any more. Hope I'm doing the right thing?

byvan: @Op,you sound like my friends when I was dating my hubby.They kept hammering on how I don't ask him for anything and how he can't even offer to give.Mehn I was one proud lady,I can't beg because am too proud to.I was so in love with my man that their criticisms about him makes me laugh.Seeing the way he helps his friends and family was all I needed to know that my guy was just using his head.

As the marriage plans gathered momemtum,there emerged a brand new man.He started spending like crazy,apologising for seeming tight fisted,who cares?His love was enough for me.He started giving me steady cash despite the fact that he knows my parents always update my pocket.

My friends who tried to discourage me,now borrow from me,mind you that they are still single till now.The Man they so hated is actually generous to a fault,I am actually his finacial secretary now lol.I don't have a job yet but Mehn I can't complain cash wise.

The essence of this tori is to advise you,let your friend be.Every girl must not disgrace her parents by begging and expecting a man to be your messiah.I just gave you some bits of my story to let you know that you can't judge a book by its cover.Love naturally will come with giving.

chikeorji123: This friend of urs what's she into? meaning a student or workingclass?..and how old is she?....

belabela: @ Poster

You may find help here
http://frankviola.org/rethinkingthewill.pdf