diddy4dt:

@ ojd,

don't worry, you will get enough blows very soon. did you wash those boxers before putting them here.

U dey percieve the odour abi?

A gentleman who always kept his black shoes shiny said to a woman on a date, "I
bet I can guess what color your underwear is."

The woman replied, "You think so, huh? What color am I wearing?"

The man answered, "You're wearing red."

"Wow!" The lady responded in delight. "How did you know that?" she asked.

He replied, "Because I'm a genius."

On a second date with another woman, he said, "Hey, I bet I can guess what color
your underwear is!"

The lady responded, "You're crazy! Okay, what color is my underwear?"

The man replied with a smirk, "They are blue, of course."

The shocked lady asked, "There's no possible way you could know that!"

"I'm a genius, I'm telling you," he said.

On a third date with another woman, the man asked with fear, "Please tell me
you're not wearing any underwear!"

She replied, "Well, I'm not. You worried?"

"Whooo! I'm relieved!" he mentioned with a big gasp of air. "I thought I had a
crack in my shoes!"

Once at the time of the world war, the soldiers were looting all villages, of
food, wine and women. Before they could enter one such village, the villagers
decide to scoot, except for one young man, who had a 80-year-old grandmother. So
the soldiers found the one occupied house and tore inside. "Bring us some food!"
they demanded.

The young man said, "But I have only half a loaf of bread."

"War is War, bring us the food!"

So he gives his last morsel of food.

"Bring us some wine!"

"But I doubt if there is any in the house, you know how things are these days!"

"War is War, bring us the wine!"

So the young man manages half a bottle and gives it to them.

"Now, bring us a woman!"

"But everyone has left the village. The only female here is my 80 year old
grandmother!!"

"War is War, bring her to us!"

The old woman is brought and she's so frail and weak that the soldiers decide
against it and say, "We'll let you off this time.'"

Granny says, "The hell you will, War is War!"

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning boss".

Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.

I worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said

"You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday let's go to
lunch, just you and me."

I said, "Oh yeah, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country
to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day.

We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not."

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll
go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."

"Sure," I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big
birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all
singing Happy Birthday.

And there I sat, on the couch, naked

Today's Joke: HARLEY VS. GOD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to
heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man
and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out
with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with
God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah,
yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design
flaws in your invention.

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust. And finally,
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous."

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went
to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the
results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true
that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these
numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

NA wetin dem want see?

Baby girl, the picture in ur profile leaves more to be desired. Tell us wats dat trail for, was it the trail ur "EX" put in place not to get lost on his way to ur , ?

The way I see it, u seem the kind of "lady" who likes/loves attention.


Guys in the house, in case u've not seen it, she has another posted on a thread; "Would You Get A Tattoo?"

I don thief the picture come for una, so no look too far!!!

@ Maki

Dats a nice tattoo, u've got there, and I appreciate and love ur courage posting it on the forum, u've got it gal!

Oracle, you are right I forgot to uplaod the picture yesterday got around to doing it this , morning, sorry for any embarrasment.

PS: you sef see as u take stroke me, easy now!!!

Make your choice;                      ladies

Today's Joke: The 20 Year Old Headache
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a man who had had a headache for twenty years and was at the point
where he wanted to end his own life, but he decided to go to a specialist first.

No doctor could solve his problem, until finally one of them said "You have a
very rare problem, your testicles are pressed up against your spine causing your
headache. The only way to remedy it is to remove your testicles."

The man hesitantly agrees and gets them removed, and already he is feeling a
better the headache is gone!

On his way home he walks past a taylor shop with a sign saying "ALL SUITS HALF
PRICE"

Being in need of a new suit he walks in where a man greets him and says "Hello
Sir I see you want a suit, I would say that you are a 34 sleeve and a 24 pant."

"Wow! How did you know that?" said the man.

"Why Sir I've been in this business for 40 years. Would you like shoes to go
with that?"

"Sure" says the man. "Okay I'd say that you're a size 10 wide."

"Ok, now you're freaking me out, Thats a great talent" says the man.

"Thanks" replied the shopkeeper, "Now how about some undergarments?"

"Ok see if you can guess my size", said the man.

"Easy 36" said the shopkeeper.

"Nope 34" replied the man.

To which the shopkeeper exclaimed "Impossible size 34 would skwish your
testicles against your spine and you'de get a headache".

Saved by the lord

Junior's earth science class teacher was teaching "map reading". After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes she asked, "suppose I asked you to meet me for luch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?"

After a confused silence, Junior volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone"

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the
bell, the wife answers.

'Hi is Tony home?'

'No he went to the store.'

'Well, you mind if I wait?'

'No come in.'

They sit down and the friend says 'You know Nora,
you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen.
I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see
one.'

Nora thinks about this for a second an figures
what the hell - a hundred bucks.

She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly
thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says
'They are so beautiful I got to see the both of
them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could
just see the both of them together.'

Nora thinks about this and says what the hell,
opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look.
Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on
the table then says he can't wait any longer for
Tony and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home
and his wife says 'You know your weird friend
Chris came over.'

Tony thinks about this for a second and says
'Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?'

==============================================================

What is the difference between a woman and a
golf ball?

When you hit the golf ball, it doesn't come back.

A preist is in the middle of confession when a
man bursts in yelling, "Father, Father! There's
been a terrible accident out front and we need
you to help console the people." Father replies,
"But son I'm in the middle of confession, if you
can take over for me I'll go." Reluctantly the
man agrees after getting a list of sins and their
corresponding pennance. The first person he
encounters says, "Forgive me father for I have
sinned it has been 3 months since my last
confession, and I have stolen." After finding
stealing on the list the young man instructs him
to say three hail marys and light 2 candles. A
woman enters next and says, "forgive me father
for I have sinned it has been 6 months since my
last confession, and I have commited MouthAction."
After a slight chuckle the man checks the list
and tells her to say 1 hail mary, 3 our fathers
and light 4 candles. Another man enters and says,
"forgive me father for I have sinned it has been
1 month since my last confession, and I have had
anal sex." The man starts looking over the list,
page 1, page 2, page 3, but nowhere does it
mention anal sex. So he sticks his head out of
the booth and asks the nearsest altar boy,
"Whats the Father give for anal sex?" The altar
boy replies, "Two cookies and a glass of milk."

A man is driving down a deserted highway, and
notices a sign that reads, SISTERS OF MERCYHOUSE
OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES. He thinks it was a
figment of his imagination and drives on. Soon,
he sees another sign which says, SISTERS OF
MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 5 MILES Realizing
these signs are for real, he drives on, and sure
enough, there is a third, SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE
OF PROSTITUTION - NEXT RIGHT. His curiosity gets
the best of him, and he pulls into the driveway.
On the far side of the parking lot, is a somber
stone building with a signon the door that
reads, SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the steps,
rings the bell, and a nun answers the door in a
long black habit, who asks, "What may we do for
you, my son?" "I saw your signs along the
highway, and was interested in possibly doing
some business," he answers. Very well, my son.
Please follow me," says the nun. He is led
through many winding passages, and soon he is
very disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door
and tells the man, "Please, knock on this door"
and leaves. The man does as he is told, and this
door is opened by another nun in a long black
habit, holding a tin cup. This nun instructs
"Please place $50.00 in the cup, then go through
the large wooden door at the end of this
hallway." He places the money in this nuns tin
cup. He trots eagerly down the hallway, and slips
through the door, pulling it shut. As the door
locks behind him, he finds himself back in the
parking lot, facing another small sign Go In
Peace. You have just been screwed by the
Sisters Of Mercy.

Love the sleeveless and the black one most, nice job africanboy.


Na when you go launch for Nija?

SIBLI_06:

I love tattoo's, I have 3 and would love another. Will I love them when I'm old and wrinkly though that is the question. I always said I would never have a tattoo with a name on it until I met my wife. I now have a tattoo of a cherub pointing toward my heart with "Modupe" as on a nameplate.

Nice one, if you would love the tatto when old? I think if you like them now, you would love them in future {once MODUPE is still in 'ur HEART}

Ear rings on guys shouldn't be an issue. It depends on you, you either go with it or you don't, studs look cool on some guys and not so cool on some. Lets forget the issue of "our fore fathers, where we come from" and shit like that, if we are to talk in terms of culture, traditionally, our "FORE FATHERS" are known to have and in some places, still wearing earings or what do say to the sango male worshippers who weave their hair and use ear studs.

Even in Europe and America of old, wearing of ear studs marks you out as a gay, but the times have changed, so if you love it, go for it.

A man and his wife got into bed for the night.
The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the
husband put his bed lamp on to read a book.
As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to
his wife and started handling her pussy. He did
this only for a very short while then stopped and
went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of
him. The husband was confused and asked, "What
the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?"

The wife replied, "You were playing with my
pussy. I thought it was pre-intimacy for something a
bit heavier".

The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my
fingers so I could turn the pages.

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the
plane on the way to LA, when the American turned
to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of "-ese"
are you ?".

The Japanese, confused and replied, "Sorry but I
don't understand what you mean."

The American repeated, "What kind of "-ese" are
you ?".

Again, the Japanese was confused over the
question.

The American, now irritated, then yell, "What
kind of -ese are you ?? Are you a Chinese,
Japanese, Vietnamese, etc, "

The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I'm a Japanese!".

A while later, the Japanese turned to the American
and asked, "What kind of "-key" are you ?"

The American, frustrated, yelled, "What you mean
what kind of "-key" I am ?".

The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a
Yankee ?"

O my gawd

Nice one

A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new
sweetheart's birthday. As they had not been
dating very long, after careful consideration,
he decided that a pair of gloves would strike the
right note. Romantic but not too personal.

Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister,
he went to Sears and bought a pair of white
gloves. The younger sister purchased a pair of
panties for herself. During the wrapping, the
clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the
gloves and he got the panties. He mailed them to
his sweetheart with this note enclosed:

Darling,

I chose these because I noticed that you are not
in the habit of wearing any when we go out in
the evening. If it had not been for your sister,
I would have chosen the long ones with the
buttons, but she wears short ones that are easy
to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought
them from showed me the pair that she had been
wearing for the past three weeks, and they were
hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and
they looked really smart.

I wish that I was there to put them on for you
the first time, as no doubt, other hands will
come in contact with them before I have a chance
to see you again.

When you take them off, remember to blow in them
before putting them away as they will naturally
be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I will kiss them during
the coming year. I hope you will wear them for
me on Friday night.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded
down with a little fur showing.

As he was quietly watching television at home,
the chap hears a sound on the roof of his house
and rushes out to investigate. Seeing it was a
fair sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his
home he promptly calls up the local zoo
autorities to inform them one of their animals
had escaped. He is reassured that a gorilla
recovering units is on the way and to remain
calm.

A few minutes later, an old beat up truck,
displaying the Gorilla recovery unit logo on its
panels, pulls up to the house. The elderly driver
proceed to recover from the back of the truck, a
chihuahua dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a
baseball bat and a 12 gauge shotgun. Puzzled on
how this lone elderly was to solve the problem of
this gorilla who had by now torn half the roof
apart, the chap ask him how he will go about
doing this. As he hands him over the .12 gauge
shotgun, the zoo employee explains the plan:
'First I'll climb up there with the ladder, then
I approach the gorilla and knock him off the roof
using the baseball bat; As soon as the gorilla
hits the ground, the specially trained chihuahua
dog will attack its private parts.'

'When I get back on the ground, the gorilla will
have lowered it's hands to it's groin area to
protect itself thus making it easy for me to slip
on the handcuffs.' 'Then, I lead him to the
truck, lock him up and take him back to the zoo.'

Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled
house owner asks why he was handed the .12 gauge
shotgun?

'Well, ' explains the experienced gorilla
retriever, 'It's just a precaution should thing
not go exactly as planned. In the unlikely event
that once on the roof the gorilla knocks me off
with the baseball bat.

Shoot the dog, '

Nice one, he is one I've got -

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a
guy?

A. The blonde has more sperm in her body than
the guy.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says,Okay, give me a
million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

@ micklplus

Pls if u've got nothing else to say other than -

micklplus:

its been cracked before in this forum.

I guess you can just do with saying nothing and let the humour flow

There was once a single man who lived in the city.

Everyday he went to work and then came home. He
liked the single life, but sometimes he would get
lonely, and when that happened he would hire a
LovePeddler. As the years went by ,he eventually
started craving something a little different. One
day he saw an add in the newspaper: *Madam Zoe's -
We Cater To Every Taste*. So he went to Madam
Zoe's and informed her of his desire for something
different.

She said she had just the thing for him: a Rhode
Island Red Rooster that gave the best Mouth Action in
town. She led him into a private room and left
him alone with the rooster.

The man spent three hours trying to cajole the
rooster into giving him a Mouth Action, with no
success.

He left Madam Zoe's very dissatisfied. Several
months later he decided to give it a second
chance, and returned to Madam Zoe's. This time the
Madam said she KNEW she had just the thing for
him. She led him into a dark room where several
men were sitting around staring intently at a one
way mirror. On the other side of the mirror was a
woman in bed with a turkey.

"Wow! That's Nuts!" said the man.

The other men turned to him and one of them said
"Oh, that's nothing! You should have been here a
couple of months ago when the guy spent three
hours trying to get a Mouth Action from a rooster!

A guy found himself unable to satisfy his wife.
He tried hundreds of methods but just wasn’t able
to do the job. He finally went to his best friend
and asked for advice. His friend told him not to
worry because he knew a method that was a 100
percent successful. He says, “Hire a big strong
black man to stands near your bed and waving a
huge towel over both of you while you are having
sex. This way your wife will be stimulated an
have an orgasm.”

The guy hired the strong man, but all efforts
were in vain. He went back to his friend and
told him what happened. So his friend suggested
that they switch places. “Why don’t you wave the
towel while the strong man does the job in bed,”
says the friend.

He agreed and said that he would do anything to
satisfy his wife. He hires the same guy again
and this time they trade positions. Naturally,
the woman has a divine orgasm. The husband leans
over to the black guy and says, “You see!
That’s how you wave the towel.”

A father and son are fishing in a boat and the
father reaches over to a cooler and pulls out a
beer and starts drinking it. The son says, "Dad,
can I have one?" And the father says, "Well, can
your dick reach around your leg and touch your
asshole?" The son says, "Umm, no." So later on
the father reaches over and pulls out a cigarette
and starts smoking it. The son says, "Dad, can I
have one of those?" the father replies, "Can your
dick reach around your leg and touch your
asshole?" The son says, "No." The father says,
"Well too bad."

Later on they're driving down the road and they
stop at a gas station. The father goes in and
buys one hundred lotto tickets and gives his son
one. The father scratches off all ninety-nine of
them and he's a loser! His son scratches off his
and he won ten million dollars! The father says,
"Ok son, give me the ticket." the son replies,
"Well, can your dick reach around your leg and
touch your asshole?" The father says, "Yeah!"

The son says, "Then Go Bleep Yourself! This Money
Is Mine!!!"