There really isn't a "Perfect" Right Time, because everybody is different. A person could be ready to be married at 18yrs, 30yrs or even 40yrs, it really depends.
But then again because a person "feels" like its the "right time" to get ready doesn't necessarily mean the person is fit for marriage. Some people get caught up in the fantasy of  having a wedding and being married, but once their expectations fall short, they want to bail out, that's where real maturity should come in.

I noticed some ppl stated that their grandparents/parents got married at a young age, my mother got married when she was 23, which till today I feel she was too young, but hey, that's my opinion. My parents are still married and going strong. The difference between our grandparents/parents generation and ours is that our generation is a "Microwave" generation, We want things FAST, FAST, FAST! There's lack of patience, understanding and tolerance. We want what we see on TV, but don't want to work hard or long for it, Unfortunately our generation seems to get married later into our 20's and 30's when we're done we school and are top of our career goals. It's not a bad thing, but i honestly think along the way you should "shine your eyes" and look for a life partner, so that you don't end up being married to you job/business.

The longer you wait to get a life partner, the more you'll be set in your ways and  the less tolerant, understanding and patient you'll be, that's just the fact.

Its better to be with someone that you can build an empire with, than someone who already has an empire and you're more or less another trophy on their shelf/ another notch on their belt. When you build together, you tend to appreciate each other better. Both parties should always have something to bring to the table. Even if you're not making that  million bucks salary you've been dreaming of, doesn't mean that you're not ready to get married, but if you're financially comfortable and you can live withing your means you should be fine, pls don't get me wrong o both parties should be financially stable enough that when both your resources are put together it amounts to something substantial

The right time to get married will have to be when an individual is willing to let someone into their life, be responsible (emotionally, spiritually, financially) for that person and be willing to tolerate that person come rain or shine. Now the fact of the matter is that when a person reaches that level of thinking varies,

BIG UPS! TO Bella Naija for this article, its a good reminder of the hardwork of our mothers, sisters, wives, etc in our society on a daily basis!

God has blessed the woman to come up with different ways to make a living, what our men cannot do because of pride or whatever, women will do without thinking twice, just to support their family,


All you others that have negative comments on this can GO AND HUG A TRANSFORMER and GON'PA BI OLOONGBO, HISSSSSSS!

My dear, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I did, had a grand celebration and all, didn't feel guilty about it. Everything na turn my turn, NO LE LE.

My dear, so far i think chaircover's advice is the best, its quite unfortunate that there are no family members around to advice him. But you got married at such a young age, why so young? I can only imagine the pain and hurt you feel all these years. Please take heart, don't divorce your husband just yet, until you have tried everything possible to make it work. I think a seperation will work in this case, his eyes will open when he sees nobody to give him money. Also maybe its time to let them know what's  going on in nigeria, and i don't mean telling your family, but report him to his family so they can scold him.


That's by own two cents about the matter,

The benefit of living in a "developing" country is that there are tremendous opportunities to come up with new ideas/business to make things better. Versus living in a "developed" country where the markets have pretty much capped.  People in developed countries, tend to get comfortable because the system works for them, but once you see the system break down, they start running helter skelter. Which is being displayed daily in the news these days. In Nigeria we don't have a dependable system, therefore, "hunder begat talet", that's just what it is.

I'm really not surprised that Nigeria is on the list at all, we are born hustlers. In my years of working with people from all walks of life, they seem not to get the idea of starting a business or doing something else to sustain them. They are comfortable with their 9-5, waiting for a pension check that will not sustain them for more than a year after they retire, smh. I thank God for where I'm from, I don't care what ppl say or think about Nigeria, but to me its NUMBER ONE!!!

Bros if this is your justification of marrying more than one wife, then please go ahead, So are you trying to tell me that polygamy is better? 'cos as far as i know it comes with its own share of problems. The problem is us as human beings, we are not satisfied with what we have or who we are, we have no respect for the vows we take before God. That's where the issue is not monogamy vs polygamy, either situation can work out, depending on the individuals involved, shikena!

Ofido:

She still cannot understand what He meant but i think its very very simple and its even the best thing to do this days,
'Hello sweetheart,i love you so much but plz i dont do marriage thing,can you please have my 1st child for me?' make a choice of the country you want to go to deliver the baby.
This was the exact word my cousin's boyfriend of six months told her yesternigth.
Reason's is dat He doesn't like the stress & trouble of women in the name of Wife.
But sincerely,i have been thinking about this since morning and am like this is the best option if some1 really wants to live long.
For we Men,Whatz even good about marriage after hearing the turmoil of those who are in it?,
After all the wahala we have to go thru to make money,you bring her in and the next thing she starts dictating to you.
Two of my closest pals that got married last december confided in me that immediately after the wedding ther went to a babalawo to break ther wifes wings so that she cannot fly away.
But the question is,if your guy(well to do with all the good things of life) asked you for only a child what will be your reaction?

The babe in question needs to ask herself what she wants, ifshe's down with just having a kid, that's fine but she better embrace all the consequences that come with it. (1) She will forever only be a baby mama to him, she should not expect any kind special treatment (2) there's a possibility that he might try to take the child away from you, so he can have full custody (3) you will forever be bound to him; good, bad and ugly (4) after having a kid, your options for marriage potentials are reduced, and the list goes on and on. Personally i wouldn't do it, because only one person is really gaining here, how about what she wants

Hello peoples! Its so funny i was having this same discussion with a friend that's an RN and she basically told me that the reason most doctors push for C sections is because they get more money from doing that procedure and you stay a bit longer in the hospital, which means even more money, its crazy. I would opt for Natural, God help me sha.

Have you guys heard of LIPO-C? Basically a lot of celebrities get this procedure done, its a C-section and Liposuction procedure. They take the baby out when its due and then do the Lipo right afterwards. I always wondered why their stomachs were so flat after birth, msccccccheeewwwww. Hollywood is terrible!

Did you sleep with the other lady Cos if you didn't then you might still have a chance, if not, you're on your own,

RUN!!!![color=#990000][/color][b][/b]

Bros no go make the biggest mistake of your life!

Just reading the list of assests makes me weak. How could they be so greedy? After building all that fortune on money that is not yours, everything comes crashing down in one day, its not worth it!

Please can we just stop the madness, must we always copy ideas from the US? This is not part of our culture. Do something innovative that will appeal to us, not some foolish dramatic reality series that you everyone there is only in it for the money! Msssscccccheeeewwwww!

MOBO444:

^^^ You should be apologizing for the bad way of fellow bad sister, you have seen all the male comment and you can see the average Nigeria man is not happy with the Nigeria woman, yu should apologise for you black sister and not try some cheap defence.

I know it ain't me you talking to? I guess you must not have recieved manners when they were giving it out. I cannot apologize for all the actions of all women, are you in your right mind? to quote your words "the "average" Nigeria man is not happy with the Nigerian woman", Right there, an "average" person gets "average" things, "average" gets what "average" gives. I ain't apologising for nothing, everybody needs to take responsibility for their own actions, Go to bed mehn!

MOBO444:

Really i am so surprise and disgusted at some of the comment from the Nigeria women online here, only GOD will save Nigeria men from your hands.

I'm sorry Mr MOBO444, why are you suprised again? Please stop generalizing all Nigerian women. It makes you sound like and IDI T.  Never knew that such ignorance was on NL,

President Obama is Left-handed, just leave it be,

MOBO444:

^^^ Omamukun how can you say such, why cant you women be women, this is the problem with Black women always choking the BLACK AND AND GIVING HIM NO SPACE OR REST.

Please bros no dey yan nonsense for here. If he doesn't trust her why is he marrying her? Its sheer stupidity! I'm not saying all women are perfect, but if you're gonna marry, marry right. From the get go there's no trust so whats the point. Can you imagine if you had a sister or daughter that had to deal with such BS?! Its just no a fair deal! Shikena!

Please the bros the yan BS. He probably has a wife in california that she doesn't know about. All dat one na story, what's the guys name? I have heavy connections in California, North through South. Mscheeew!So if she's gonna be monitored, who will be monitoring him?Thats a dumb deal.

There are there, but people just don't really pay any mind to them. Compared to a nigerian man with and AA woman, you see them at Naija functions, but its not the same for a Nigerian woman and AA man, its very very rare, Its almost as if they are like shadows that fade away, God forgive me. Technically speaking its the man that leads and the woman follows, so in the case of a nigerian woman and AA man, na AA functions you go find them at,

fantababy:

@Michelin89 & Funkebaby,

your kinda right.
Am fat in the wrong place. 
my tommy refused to go down.

Babes, keep your head up and keep trying. I cannot advice you to call off the wedding, but you seriously need to have a heart to heart conversation with your fiance. The fact that he said his friends and family members are saying this and that and then he opens his mouth and tells you is just down-right disrespectful. That means he allows them to talk smack about you, which is not fair, he is suppose to protect you, even if they are right, they have no right to insult you at anytime. Doesn't he realize that it also brings disrespect to himself by allowing them to to that? There's a yoruba proverb that says (in translation), "The way you carry/treat your load, is the way people will also carry/treat your load" That is to say if you carry something highly, people will also carry it highly. In your case, if you fiance regards you with high esteem and everyone around him knows that, no one will have the audacity to be running their mouth anyhow.
But anyways, keep eating healty and excercisingm, you have nothing to lose but the pounds. But when you start doing it because of the pressure around you, you will surely gain it back.

In my own home state? This is just a disgrace! E be like say these people wan die early death. Mi o sepe o, mo'kan so, e go happen like play, like joke, mscheeeeeew! Mindless human beings

My sister you also need to let him know himslef that he  ain't God's gift to women, since you said that he's not your preference physically. You decided to over look that and still be with him. If he's so worried about the way you look now, he will keep pestering you for the rest of your married life! I'm not saying that its bad for a man to let his woman know that she should trim up here and there, but if it becomes a constant battle and he keeps saying his friends are saying this and that, then whats the point? Does he want  you to be ANOREXIC? If he's looking for a skinny chick, then why did he talk to you then?
My sister this is too much pressure on you, please don't go and kill yourself. Just for your own health, keep on excercising and eating right like you've been doing. Weight loss ain't easy, but all this pressure before the marriage is too much,. You need to warn him, either he accepts it or steps away, My question now is what is he going to say when you get pregnant?

Abeg warn am o!

AGBAYA! HA! 15Yr old gurl, are you ret@arded? U sef e be like say you slow o! What does she know at 15, freaking cradle-robber! Please go and finD someone around your age that is mature enough for marriage! You even had the guts to put this on NL, AGBAYA - OSHI!

Omo forget o! this story is SWEEEEETTTT! Give us more Abeg!

Are retarded What is wrong with you, if both of you want to galavant like dat why don't you just break up, WTH? You always practive "safe sex" abeg go and sit down somewhere my friend!!!!mscheeewwwwwww! What is this world turning into? There's absolutely no love in your relationship stop fooling yourselves, its LUST!

Here's my own two cents:

I think the reason why so many Marriages fail is because people go into for the wrong reasons, mostly selfish reason. For example for a lady it might be the financial security and for her to boast among her single friends. For a guy it could be because he wants to be taken care of without necessarily giving anything in return. Another problem i've seen is when married couples don't have mutual friends that are married too, u'll be suprised at how much strength you can draw just by hanging out with other married couples, it'll make you want to stay together. Another issue i've noticed is that a lot of people think that the counseling the do before marriage is enough, i think it should definitely be an ongoing thing, whether or not there's a problem. It will only strengthen your bond, especially when you see examples all around you.

That just my thoughts, Marriage is not for the weak minded, its not an easy road, but it can be done! Marriage is not old fashioned, people just don't want to deal with what it comes with because they think they have options,

Pls the song is about reality, whats the big deal? And the video was pretty decent, I don't get their basis for banning this song at all!

Sagamite:

Greet?

For what?

Bros you too blunt! lol! I dey feel you though

whoever wakes up first or whatever, are we back to the master & slave era, it really shouldn't be a big deal, AT ALL!

MRbrownJAY:



5. Bringing Up Weight:
there is nothing better than to be fully honest and communicating in relationship. if her weight is a concern to me then i will talk about it until the issue gets resolve. i will say it once and if she doesnt do anything  about it then i will say it again and again until she understands that it is a serious issue. . . . . . . . to me.

nobody should let this kind of problem linger because its easier to combat/deal with it at the beginning than later when it will be harder to "remove".

on the other hand, if i am growing a pot belly then she has all the rights to bring up the issue and let me know that she doesnt like my outlook which should tell me that there is a problem that needs to be dealt with.

women have to understand that we fall in love with a "package"(mind, body etc) and if something about this package is not right then the whole"package" aint right. if she was 60kg and now is 120kg then we need to talk and resolve that issue ASAP!!!!
bringing up the weight is NOT what will affect the relationship that may lead to breaking up, THE extra WEIGHT IS.

there is nothing better than honesty in relationship so if weight is a worry to you and nothing is being done about it then say it.

Honest communication is god but:

I have a major issue when a lot of guys think you can talk about a woman's weight till it goes away, in most cases all men do is point fingers, they reallly do not support their woman to lose wieght all they do is TALK. Funny thing is if the tables a turned the woman will ensure that the man drops the weight by not only talking to him about it, but following him to the gym, cooking the right food for him, and packing his lunch so he doesn't eat outside.

But if its the woman that has weight issues, how often do you see the man saying "baby lets go to the gym together" to show his support or even encourage her to make healthier meals even if he may not necessarily like it,

A lot of men just TALK, whatever happened to real SUPPORT? ***************hisssss*****************