Marriage made a lot of sense once upon a time


Mostly when women didn’t have the same roles and rights as men, and were effectively private property (a societal legacy that still influences our oddly-upheld traditions of a bride being “walked down the aisle” and taking her husband’s last name.)

Women didn’t have access to the workplace, so needed financial security. Men had income, but needed heirs. The exchange was simple. (And during the Victorian era, we prettied it up a bit by convincing ourselves it was about “love,” too.)

We’ve come a long way. Women have equal rights and roles in the workforce, so they don’t need financial security anymore. And while folks might still be interested in reproduction, does marriage still play a role?

Please note: we aren’t comparing “marriage” to “bachelorhood” or “single parents,” and we aren’t using “marriage” as synonymous with “monogamy.”

This post is about longterm, monogamous, cohabiting couples — why are we still getting married?

There’s a difference between what we say — and why we actually do.

Because it is emotion-based — but the emotion isn’t “love.”

To be honest ,- the future of marriage in the next 20 years is blurred.

Ireneidiva,crackhaus your contributions will be appreciated.

The idea of marriage has been defeated ever since Eve betrayed Adam in the garden of Eden.

Marriage is a scam designed to keep men in perpetual slavery. There is no incentive to get married as a man. It is a high risk low reward investment .

To all bachelors out there, I'll say this:

Do not get married
Do not cohabitate with a women
There is no special one(AWALT- all women are like that)
She is not yours, its just your turn.

Lalasticlala this is a promising thread.

Doughboysss:
Marriage is a scam designed to keep men in perpetual slavery. There is no incentive to get married as a man. It is a high risk low reward investment .

To all bachelors out there, I'll say this:

Do not get married
Do not cohabitate with a women
There is no special one(AWALT- all women are like that)
She is not yours, its just your turn.

Emotional enslavement. I agree.

Marriage is a scam to take advantage of women. I have been saying this on Nairaland for years, see this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1265450/why-men-think-womens-lives#15355649

How can society expect women to be breadwinners like their husbands and at the same time be subjected to the husband's authority and and obey him and even bear his name as if her father that raised her his own name is useless. Big scam.
If a woman starts taking care of her husband financially then they are now equal partners but Nigerian men will never agree.
They want a housemaid and baby machine and ATM
They want a woman that will ignore their cheating and pray for them
Some sef don't lift hand to do housework at all but would go berserk if their wives decide to leave job of breadwinning to them.

Let marriage go obsolete, it's better for oppressed women.
If only men can stop shaming spinsters that are old and unmarried maybe more people will be more comfortable with the idea that marriage isn't a do or die affair

You mentioned me on a duplicate thread.

Does marriage still make sense?
well,i cant give answer to your question because i'm yet to married.but from my observation;marriage these days is something else.There's no more regards for the institution.most wives are doing under g runs likewise majority of husbands still keeps concubines.Love in most homes is no more grounded unlike in the past.husband and wife living under the same roof pretending pseudo love for each other.Most homes are operating like a government establishment.
The day i read the book "manipulated man" that was the day my view about marriage and women changed completely.
Finally,i think marriage doesnt make lots of sense to men these days.The few who are enjoying it are the onces God purposely connected them to their better-half.

Doughboysss:
Marriage is a scam designed to keep men in perpetual slavery. There is no incentive to get married as a man. It is a high risk low reward investment .

To all bachelors out there, I'll say this:

Do not get married
Do not cohabitate with a women
There is no special one(AWALT- all women are like that)
She is not yours, its just your turn.

In a modified definition..., Marriage is a SCAM designed to keep the men in perpetual slavery of mental, emotional and physical torments of hard labour in emotional and psychological prison

Marriage is a societal excuse of weakness called love...

CHoccolaTE:
Marriage is a scam to take advantage of women. I have been saying this on Nairaland for years, see this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1265450/why-men-think-womens-lives#15355649

How can society expect women to be breadwinners like their husbands and at the same time be subjected to the husband's authority and and obey him and even bear his name as if her father that raised her his own name is useless. Big scam.
If a woman starts taking care of her husband financially then they are now equal partners but Nigerian men will never agree.
They want a housemaid and baby machine and ATM
They want a woman that will ignore their cheating and pray for them
Some sef don't lift hand to do housework at all but would go berserk if their wives decide to leave job of breadwinning to them.

Let marriage go obsolete, it's better for women.
If only men can stop shaming spinsters that are old and unmarried maybe more people will be more comfortable with the idea that marriage isn't a do or die affair

Women need marriage more than men need marriage.

Women gain more from marriage.

olatuneji:
Does marriage still make sense?
well,i cant give answer to your question because i'm yet to married.but from my observation;marriage these days is something else.There's no more regards for the institution.most wives are doing under g runs likewise majority of husbands still keeps concubines.Love in most homes is no more grounded unlike in the past.husband and wife living under the same roof pretending pseudo love for each other.Most homes are operating like a government establishment.
The day i read the book "manipulated man" that was the day my view about marriage and women changed completely.
Finally,i think marriage doesnt make lots of sense to men these days.The few who are enjoying it are the onces God purposely connected them to their better-half.

Patriarchy has advantages and disadvantages.

Elder0001:


Women need marriage more than men need marriage.

Women gain more from marriage.

Keep lying to yourself.
What exactly do women gain?
Men gain a wife that bears children that carry his family name.
In misogynistic societies like Nigeria he has basically gotten himself a slave that must submit and obey him. His word is law whether wife likes it or not.
He can cheat and marriage continues.
All he needs to do is go to work and come back, and provide any little he can, society expects women to also provide and do 80% of all that holds a marriage.
Do you know how many women gave up their dreams to get married and bear kids because society expects them to be married at a certain age?

Stop making silly comments because you want me to prolong your thread with replies.

Doughboysss:
Marriage is a scam designed to keep men in perpetual slavery. There is no incentive to get married as a man. It is a high risk low reward investment .

To all bachelors out there, I'll say this:

Do not get married
Do not cohabitate with a women
There is no special one(AWALT- all women are like that)
She is not yours, its just your turn.

Bro im a MGTOW fan but you need a good woman to share ur life with if not ul be alone and sad

Elder0001:


Women need marriage more than men need marriage.

Women gain more from marriage.

Not in Nigeria, men gain a whole lot more in marriage than women especially in this present day where majority of the wives are also pulling financial weight of the home. I would have loved to butress this but I have my hands are tied with other stuff at the moment.

CHoccolaTE:

Keep lying to yourself.
What exactly do women gain?
Men gain a wife that bears children that carry his family name.
In misogynistic societies like Nigeria he has basically gotten himself a slave that must submit and obey him. His word is law whether wife likes it or not.
He can cheat and marriage continues.
All he needs to do is go to work and come back, and provide any little he can, society expects women to also provide and do 80% of all that holds a marriage.
Do you know how many women gave up their dreams to get married and bear kids because society expects them to be married at a certain age?

Stop making silly comments because you want me to prolong your thread with replies.

Women gain a lot from marriage - physically and financially,something you can't deny.
In as much as women now contribute financially and otherwise in marriage even the blind and dumb knows that women still gain more from marriage.


For the other part ,women need marriage more than men do ,you and I know this unless you're only trying to deceive yourself.

dominique:


Not in Nigeria, men gain a whole lot more in marriage than women especially in this present day where majority of the wives are also pulling financial weight of the home. I would have loved to butress this but I have my hands are tied with other stuff at the moment.

I won't reply you yet. When you're done with what you're doing ,you can complete your post on why you think women don't gain more than men in marriage.

dominique:


Not in Nigeria, men gain a whole lot more in marriage than women especially in this present day where majority of the wives are also pulling financial weight of the home. I would have loved to butress this but I have my hands are tied with other stuff at the moment.

Vilar claims that women can control their emotional reactions whereas men cannot, and that women create overly-dramatized emotional reactions to get their way: they "blackmail" men emotionally. Women also use sex as a tool of manipulation and control but also traditional concepts of love and romance, which are seen more positively than sex, to control men's sexual lives. Vilar writes that men gain nothing from marriage and that women coerce them into it under the pretense that it fulfills their romantic desires. - Excerpt from the manipulated man.

Is Vilar a man?

Elder0001:


Women gain a lot from marriage - physically and financially,something you can't deny.
In as much as women now contribute financially and otherwise in marriage even the blind and dumb knows that women still gain more from marriage.


For the other part ,women need marriage more than men do ,you and I know this unless you're only trying to deceive yourself.


I won't reply you yet. When you're done with what you're doing ,you can complete your post on why you think women don't gain more than men in marriage.

YOU YOURSELF, ELDER,
HOW EXACTLY DO WOMEN GAIN MORE FROM MARRIAGE?
Stop quoting me to write nonsense, if you have a counter opinion then state it and explain it, all you did was disagree with the post without explaining yourself,
explain how exactly women gain more from marriage, don't make me annoyed this morning.

Why did I even enter this thread? I told myself I would henceforth avoid threads started by mentally ret@rded people.

CHoccolaTE:


YOU YOURSELF, ELDER,
HOW EXACTLY DO WOMEN GAIN MORE FROM MARRIAGE?
Stop quoting me to write nonsense, if you have a counter opinion then state it and explain it, all you did was disagree with the post without explaining yourself,
explain how exactly women gain more from marriage, don't make me annoyed this morning.

Why did I even enter this thread? I told myself I would henceforth avoid threads started by mentally ret@rded people.

I don't understand. Why are you insulting me and spewing emotional outbursts?

Elder0001:


Vilar claims that women can control their emotional reactions whereas men cannot, and that women create overly-dramatized emotional reactions to get their way: they "blackmail" men emotionally. Women also use sex as a tool of manipulation and control but also traditional concepts of love and romance, which are seen more positively than sex, to control men's sexual lives. Vilar writes that men gain nothing from marriage and that women coerce them into it under the pretense that it fulfills their romantic desires. - Excerpt from the manipulated man.

Is Vilar a man?

I don't know who this Vilar is, whoever she is, she has a right to her opinion.

Saying that women are more advantaged in marriages in Nigeria is laughable and incredulous. While growing up, an average Nigerian female is being raised to conduct herself in ways that will be acceptable in her "husband's house. Are boys raised same way? Has any boy ever been told to act or not to act in a certain way because of his future wife? If this is not a sign that one party is going into marriages to please the other, I don't know what is.
A distressed woman will come online to post that her husband has been cheating on her. What kind of replies will you see? Keep praying, cook his favourite meals, satisfy him sexually etc. Let a man come and post same, will you see same replies? Send her back to her father's house will be the common anthem.
She gets beaten up by her husband, then she's at fault, she was not submissive enough, she must have used her sharp tongue to provoke him etc
One came to post that her husband raped a minor and his family is begging her not to expose him. Of course she was advised to keep shut and keep praying for the paedophile because a wise woman keeps her marriage no matter what.
So many bullshit a lot of Nigerian women has to stomach in the name of keeping a marriage yet you say they gain more?

dominique:


I don't know who this Vilar is, whoever she is, she has a right to her opinion.

Saying that women are more advantaged in marriages in Nigeria is laughable and incredulous. While growing up, an average Nigerian female is being raised to conduct herself in ways that will be acceptable in her "husband's house. Are boys raised same way? Has any boy ever been told to act or not to act in a certain way because of his future wife? If this is not a sign that one party is going into marriages to please the other, I don't know what is.
A distressed woman will come online to post that her husband has been cheating on her. What kind of replies will you see? Keep praying, cook his favourite meals, satisfy him sexually etc. Let a man come and post same, will you see same replies? Send her back to her father's house will be the common anthem.
She gets beaten up by her husband, then she's at fault, she was not submissive enough, she must have used her sharp tongue to provoke him etc
One came to post that her husband raped a minor and his family is begging her not to expose him. Of course she was advised to keep shut and keep praying for the paedophile because a wise woman keeps her marriage no matter what.
So many bullshit a lot of Nigerian women has to stomach in the name of keeping a marriage yet you say they gain more?

Trust me ,Nigerian women take all those bullshît because of what they gain from marriage.
Ask yourself why women don't leave abusive ,cheating and paedophilia partners?
It's not necessarily because of what people say but because of what they tend to gain from the marriage and what they'll lose if they leave.

The average man is trained right from his youth to be the saviour of the woman , physically, spiritually and financially . Men are advised to be this and that before entering into marriage but the only things women are told is to be beautiful and respectful ,am I from another planet?

Marriage is a total bullshit nowadays.


talking about the future of marriage? it has no future. which means it is dead already...



Prostitution and fornication will be more considered than marriage in the next five years. #MarkMyWord#

is has started already.

Elder0001:


Trust me ,Nigerian women take all those bullshît because of what they gain from marriage.
Ask yourself why women don't leave abusive ,cheating and paedophilia partners?
It's not necessarily because of what people say but because of what they tend to gain from the marriage and what they'll lose if they leave.

The average man is trained right from his youth to be the saviour of the woman , physically, spiritually and financially . Men are advised to be this and that before entering into marriage but the only things women are told is to be beautiful and respectful ,am I from another planet?

Wrong! Most women remain in miserable marriages not because of any spectacular gain other than being addressed as a Mrs. They know how unkind the society is to single mothers and divorcess that they'd rather stay back and face the abuse than the stigma. Men are expected to make money before marriage, that's all. No one mounts pressure on him to act in certain ways to please his wife.

dominique:


Wrong! Most women remain in miserable marriages not because of any spectacular gain other than being addressed as a Mrs. They know how unkind the society is to single mothers and divorcess that they'd rather stay back and face the abuse than the stigma. Men are expected to make money before marriage, that's all. No one mounts pressure on him to act in certain ways to please his wife.

Men benefit more from marriage.

CHoccolaTE:
Marriage is a scam to take advantage of women. I have been saying this on Nairaland for years, see this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1265450/why-men-think-womens-lives#15355649

How can society expect women to be breadwinners like their husbands and at the same time be subjected to the husband's authority and and obey him and even bear his name as if her father that raised her his own name is useless. Big scam.
If a woman starts taking care of her husband financially then they are now equal partners but Nigerian men will never agree.
They want a housemaid and baby machine and ATM
They want a woman that will ignore their cheating and pray for them
Some sef don't lift hand to do housework at all but would go berserk if their wives decide to leave job of breadwinning to them.

Let marriage go obsolete, it's better for women.
If only men can stop shaming spinsters that are old and unmarried maybe more people will be more comfortable with the idea that marriage isn't a do or die affair

gbammmmmmmm

I don't know about others but for me,i actually think I am the one gaining. The bulk of things my wife has to give up to be Mrs Me certainly deserve every bit of my appreciation. You see this mentality of one party doing the other party a favour in marriage is what has brought us to where we are with the marriages of this day. That I am providing for the home doesn't make me the only authority in the home, for heaven's sake that's my responsibility and she also has her responsibility as the 'honourable minister of Interior' as I love to call her. It breaks my heart when I see young men 2-3yrs in marriage drawing boundaries and acting all traditional. Does this exempt the young girls who a majority are clueless as to what marriage is,who understanding ends at fairytale wedding page of the book called marriage?
Marriage and what it stands for will continue to depreciate in this day and age;
Until no one feels he/she is doing the other party a favour
Until young men begin to realise that the wife is not a trophy but a 'help meet'
Until 'some' young girls stop seeing men as a means to financial freedom and status upgrade.
Until love and respect is clearly understood as a fundamental foundation for a successful union.

DaGeneral:
I don't know about others but for me,i actually think I am the one gaining. The bulk of things my wife has to give up to be Mrs Me certainly deserve every bit of my appreciation. You see this mentality of one party doing the other party a favour in marriage is what has brought us to where we are with the marriages of this day. [s]That I am providing for the home doesn't make me the only authority in the home, for heaven's sake that's my responsibility and she also has her responsibility as the 'honourable minister of Interior' as I love to call her[/s]. It breaks my heart when I see young men 2-3yrs in marriage drawing boundaries and acting all traditional. Does this exempt the young girls who a majority are clueless as to what marriage is,who understanding ends at fairytale wedding page of the book called marriage?
Marriage and what it stands for will continue to depreciate in this day and age;
Until no one feels he/she is doing the other party a favour
Until young men begin to realise that the wife is not a trophy but a 'help meet'
Until 'some' young girls stop seeing men as a means to financial freedom and status upgrade.
Until love and respect is clearly understood as a fundamental foundation for a successful union.

Dear Dageneral ,I hope you know that it's her responsibility to also respect and see you as the head as long as provision is also your responsibility.

Women work and get to keep their money TO THEMSELVES. Whereas, you as the "man of the house" must:

1. Pay the rent/mortgage
2. Pay bills
3. Give her money for food shopping
4. Pay for childrens school fees
5. Pay for her personal shopping, hair and nails
6. Take her on holidays

On top of it they act like sex is a favour they give to men.. you are expected to LICK that disgusting wound in between their legs during the act. some men even take it a step further and eat Assss.

On top of it, they expect you SHARE IN HOUSEHOLD CHORES (all in the name of equality).

In our world today, men have become nothing but mere slaves to women. And thats a fact!

genq:
Women work and get to keep their money TO THEMSELVES. Whereas, you as the "man of the house" must:

1. Pay the rent/mortgage
2. Pay bills
3. Give her money for food shopping
4. Pay for childrens school fees
5. Pay for her personal shopping, hair and nails
6. Take her on holidays

On top of it they act like sex is a favour they give to men.. you are expected to LICK that disgusting wound in between their legs during the act. some men even take it a step further and eat Assss.

On top of it, they expect you SHARE IN HOUSEHOLD CHORES (all in the name of equality).

In our world today, men have become nothing but mere slaves to women. And thats a fact!

There's sense in every nonsense.

I'm here for the comments.

This topic has been overflogged on nairaland

it makes sense to those that want it

you can't force yourself to like something forever

leave it to those who believe in it