No one is being harsh. Maybe a few people

Seriously though on a normal day I would be the one hitting Annie's head onthe wall but the one thing that has kept me in check is -her smartness. She is smart and I read where she wrote about friends and family members that advsed her on what to do,which sounded like the obvious - go back to him but she opened this thread to ask for other people's opinion as well. She has a conscience and she is smart. Nothing stopped her from doing what her family members have advised her, nothing whatsoever but she chose to come here cos deep down, she knows what is right and what isn't

jennykadry: No one is being harsh. Maybe a few people

Seriously though on a normal day I would be the one hitting Annie's head onthe wall but the one thing that has kept me in check is -her smartness. She is smart and I read where she wrote about friends and family members that advsed her on what to do,which sounded like the obvious - go back to him but she opened this thread to ask for other people's opinion as well. She has a conscience and she is smart. Nothing stopped her from doing what her family members have advised her, nothing whatsoever but she chose to come here cos deep down, she knows what is right and what isn't

Gbam ! Exactly

I know , I can never break up a home

Yes everyone around me tells me to go for it , and I know it's not right ( even though I still like him) ,

I started this thread to see other views n to make sure I'm not just been placid .

What gets to me is how he can just move , meet someone else , get married n I'm still here , not even in a relationship! I honestly thought the reverse will be the case ... It's seriously humbled me .

Annie,demand for money to put your child in an expensive daycare or expensive private school. Tell him there is this private school you saw and loved. Tell him the cost and see babydaddy zoom off like fly.

Annie1:


Gbam ! Exactly

I know , I can never break up a home

Yes everyone around me tells me to go for it , and I know it's not right ( even though I still like him) ,

I started this thread to see other views n to make sure I'm not just been placid .

What gets to me is how he can just move , meet someone else , get married n I'm still here , not even in a relationship! I honestly thought the reverse will be the case ... It's seriously humbled me .

Not in a relationship, maybe because you still love and got feelings for him?
don't give him this chance because he is still legally married. If he was divorced before coming on you, one can understand.
The guy doesn't know what he want and you don't want to hang around such kind of people.
Take care.

Annie1:


Gbam ! Exactly

I know , I can never break up a home

Yes everyone around me tells me to go for it , and I know it's not right ( even though I still like him) ,

I started this thread to see other views n to make sure I'm not just been placid .

What gets to me is how he can just move , meet someone else , get married n I'm still here , not even in a relationship! I honestly thought the reverse will be the case ... It's seriously humbled me .

that someone else has always been in the pipeline as planB in case you send him packing....when you showed him the door, planB became the planA. in this day and age, you won't find a stranded man after a break up - there's always a planB somewhere.......

Ujujoan:

[/b]Not just men, women too! A lot of women marry to spite who they really want[b]. Like you said, people marry what's available, not what is desirable.
When the desirable is not available, the available becomes desirable!
But what makes a family is beyond having feelings or even babies for each other.
I strongly beleive the OP's ex can make it work with his wife. He just needs to really let go of her (OP) first!

Whoa this is new.ve heard of some1 sleeping with some1 to spite another but marrying to Spite some1. who says we don't learn everyday

Ujujoan:

I'm only highlighting the [b][/b]ex's wife's [b][/b]fault because everybody seemed to ignore that aspect.
Granted that there is a (slim) possibility that she's unaware of the fact that her husband had unresolved feelings for his ex, but there's also the possibility that she was aware of it but decided to turn a blind eye.
People have called the OP all sorts of names . . . baby momma, husband snatcher e.t.c. I just think it's unfair. She shouldnt be made to take the blame alone.
Just because she said 'I do' doesn't entirely absolve her of the blame! They are ALL in this mess together. The OP, the ex and the wife.
Haven't we all, together, condemend women who go into marriges expecting their husbands to 'change' along the line only to turn around and cry foul when things backfire

Did i miss something when did the wife turn EX.wat God has Joined together NL has put asunder. na wa oh. oya Annie go n marry we r waiting.

ifyalways: Lool Uju

Nwanne m, do you really, on account of what the guy told the OP believe for a second that this guy is having serious issues in his marriage?

Are you saying you don't know the type of lies some men fabricate just to "hit it" ? Wow

Unless the OP does an independent investigation to confirm, the man is just cooking up stories to get into her head, colonise her body and waste her time.

True. It's a huuuuger possibility. But this OP doesn't look that stupid to me.
But then I could be wrong!

Airpure:

Whoa this is new.ve heard of some1 sleeping with some1 to spite another but marrying to Spite some1. who says we don't learn everyday

looool, abi o. I have never heard such a thing before. marriage lohun lohun. Someone that wanted to spite will throw it in your face and not hide it from you, and even request his son to be at the wedding, which he did not do. And who says he was not dating his wife before he met the OP . Who says this OP is not the intruder? She may not know it, but the games people play.loool.

jennykadry: No one is being harsh. Maybe a few people

Seriously though on a normal day I would be the one hitting Annie's head onthe wall but the one thing that has kept me in check is -her smartness. She is smart and I read where she wrote about friends and family members that advsed her on what to do,which sounded like the obvious - go back to him but she opened this thread to ask for other people's opinion as well. She has a conscience and she is smart. Nothing stopped her from doing what her family members have advised her, nothing whatsoever but she chose to come here cos deep down, she knows what is right and what isn't

A few people gini People have almost crucified the poor girl.

Like she needed to open the thread? She could be banging the guy right now and nobody here would be any wiser. But she's seeking for advise cos she wants to do the right thing. I can't help but sympathize with her!

Airpure:

Whoa this is new.ve heard of some1 sleeping with some1 to spite another but marrying to Spite some1. who says we don't learn everyday

You obviosuly live in a small small world.

Is it wrong, YES. Does it happen, HELL YES!

To ppl saying he will run , if I tell him to pay expensive school fees , or pay more money.. I can tell u he won't !

We discuss this all the time ( what we want for our son) and and as we both want what's best for him, we ensure that happens !
Money is not even the issue here , so pls let move away from that .

Also , I don't think it's about sex , we live in a society where u can get sex from black./White /Asian/ e.t.c
So he can get it anywhere , he's a goodlooking dude with a lot of confidence .. So sex won't be a problem

Obviously he could miss our time together n probably just wants to ... Hmmmm , but I doubt if it's only about that ..

Annie1: To ppl saying he will run , if I tell him to pay expensive school fees , or pay more money.. I can tell u he won't !

We discuss this all the time ( what we want for our son) and and as we both want what's best for him, we ensure that happens !
Money is not even the issue here , so pls let move away from that .

Also , I don't think it's about sex , we live in a society where u can get sex from black./White /Asian/ e.t.c
So he can get it anywhere , he's a goodlooking dude with a lot of confidence .. So sex won't be a problem

Obviously he could miss our time together n probably just wants to ... Hmmmm , but I doubt if it's only about that ..

Ok Annie, lets try this. Go for it, and update us. I sense you want this badly enough, so go for it. You are going to do it anyway, all this one na ogboju. Do it, but make sure your truthfully update us on all the ups and downs. I think this may be a great learning experience for you, or even your path to happiness. Who knows.

baby_123:

Ok Annie, lets try this. Go for it, and update us. I sense you want this badly enough, so go for it. You are going to do it anyway, all this one na ogboju. Do it, but make sure your truthfully update us on all the ups and downs. I think this may be a great learning experience for you, or even your path to happiness. Who knows.

Loool , if u know me , u will know I won't do it ! I'm so timid .. It's all mouth n no actions !

I always go by 'what will be , will be '

Its all this M&B novels jor n too much pretty woman n like movies ... , like a prince charming will just roar down on his white horse n say ' Oh my love , where have u been ' and I'll go .. ' My prince '

Lool , seriously though ... The best will come out of this .

Annie1:

Loool , if u know me , u will know I won't do it ! I'm so timid .. It's all mouth n no actions !

I always go by 'what will be , will be '

Its all this M&B novels jor n too much pretty woman n like movies ... , like a prince charming will just roar down on his white horse n say ' Oh my love , where have u been ' and I'll go .. ' My prince '

No seriously, test him and see what he does. Hey, if you dont try, you will never know. But be prepared for him to tell his wife at some point if he is just messing with you, which will create so much drama for you in the end. But you know what, you took the leap of faith. Just update us. hey, no one here knows you. I think some other girls may learn from it too.

Yeah Annie, go ahead and test him and his marriage.

Afterall, Christ was tempted by the devil in the wilderness...

*** Talk about persuasion...***

Efemena_xy: Yeah Annie, go ahead and test him and his marriage.

Afterall, Christ was tempted by the devil in the wilderness...

*** Talk about persuasion...***

What she says here is not what she will do in real life. She is already cheering those supporting what her friends are supporting. She is going to try her luck either way. Hey, i want to know what happens. Shes an honest girl, so i know she will be truthful about it.

baby_123:

What she says here is not what she will do in real life. She is already cheering those supporting what her friends are supporting. She is going to try her luck either way. Hey, i want to know what happens. Shes an honest girl, so i know she will be truthful about it.

Why the contradiction?

If you know (I wonder how) she's not going to do it, then why ask her to?

If on the other hand, you know she's not going to do it - then what exactly is your point?

Efemena_xy:

Why the contradiction?

If you know (I wonder how) she's not going to do it, then why ask her to?

If on the other hand, you know she's not going to do it - then what exactly is your point?

Read the post again, you are clearly running on emotions here. The girl came here for support and she got it and cheered the people supporting her on. She will do it.

I don't have to.

Efemena_xy: I don't have to.

Then dont comment on it. Abi

Why ever not?

Anyway, that's beside the point. Annie, you're just as bad as your ex. 10 pages on and you don't know whether to commit adultry or not.

Make up your mind girl!

baby_123:

No seriously, test him and see what he does. Hey, if you dont try, you will never know. But be prepared for him to tell his wife at some point if he is just messing with you, which will create so much drama for you in the end. But you know what, you took the leap of faith. Just update us. hey, no one here knows you. I think some other girls may learn from it too.

Naaahhh .... I know I can have him , if I want him .. But my conscience will not let me , and most especially my God .. If he wasn't married , i won't even open this thread .. But the marriage makes it a sin !

Few days ago , I wasn't so sure , cos I was interpreting the signs how I wanted to ..

Yes I still blush thinking bout some memories , but that's what they r .

I honestly don't blame the girl he married , she met a guy she liked/loved n they got married ( n most of us will do the same) .. Did he tell her ? I'm sure he did , but how many of us don't have a bad relationship story ? When I use to tell my dates then about him , by the time I finish the story , I'm sure most of them would have strangled him given the chance , cos I told them things ( from my view point ) , so imagine him telling a girl that thinks she's found her prince charming about me , u think she will say go back to her ? Nah , most girls will say thank God I found u , I ll take away ur pain blah blah ..

So it ain't her fault n I'm not mad at her ..

I take the sole blame (I'm not been hard on myself o ) , but the truth be told , I caused most of it ..

I know the man I'll marry by God's grace , will reap the benefit of this growth ..

Can I get an Amen ...? Amen

Ujujoan:

You obviosuly live in a small small world.

Is it wrong, YES. Does it happen, HELL YES!

Whoa I am so so glad people don't think this way in my small small world. No wonder divorce rate is high with people getting married to spite each other.

Efemena_xy: Yeah Annie, go ahead and test him and his marriage.

Afterall, Christ was tempted by the devil in the wilderness...

*** Talk about persuasion...***

Christ was tempted in the wilderness so . . . . ? Is Annie now the devil to test this man and his marriage? What the frell? Abeg make me leave Jesus out of this yucky mess . . . one of the 10 commandments clearly says "THOU SHALL NOT COVET" . . . once a person commits one sin, the roller-coaster ride that ensues should not in anyway be compared to what Jesus experienced abeg.

ifyalways: Lool Uju

Nwanne m, do you really, on account of what the guy told the OP believe for a second that this guy is having serious issues in his marriage?

Are you saying you don't know the type of lies some men fabricate just to "hit it" ? Wow

Unless the OP does an independent investigation to confirm, the man is just cooking up stories to get into her head, colonise her body and waste her time.

You dey talk . . . . I have been trying to figure out if she is some NAIVE kid, who got married way young, and has absolutely no clue how men and even women go as far as they can to get laid, even after marriage.

Annie God Bless u for this post? U will surely get u heart desire .

Those of u that said she should do otherwise change ur ways ohhhhhhh. God is watching on 4D

Annie1:


Naaahhh .... I know I can have him , if I want him .. But my conscience will not let me , and most especially my God .. If he wasn't married , i won't even open this thread .. But the marriage makes it a sin !

Few days ago , I wasn't so sure , cos I was interpreting the signs how I wanted to ..

Yes I still blush thinking bout some memories , but that's what they r .

I honestly don't blame the girl he married , she met a guy she liked/loved n they got married ( n most of us will do the same) .. Did he tell her ? I'm sure he did , but how many of us don't have a bad relationship story ? When I use to tell my dates then about him , by the time I finish the story , I'm sure most of them would have strangled him given the chance , cos I told them things ( from my view point ) , so imagine him telling a girl that thinks she's found her prince charming about me , u think she will say go back to her ? Nah , most girls will say thank God I found u , I ll take away ur pain blah blah ..

So it ain't her fault n I'm not mad at her ..

I take the sole blame (I'm not been hard on myself o ) , but the truth be told , I caused most of it ..

I know the man I'll marry by God's grace , will reap the benefit of this growth ..

Can I get an Amen ...? Amen

Double post.

Annie1:


Naaahhh .... I know I can have him , if I want him .. But my conscience will not let me , and most especially my God .. If he wasn't married , i won't even open this thread .. But the marriage makes it a sin !

Few days ago , I wasn't so sure , cos I was interpreting the signs how I wanted to ..

Yes I still blush thinking bout some memories , but that's what they r .

I honestly don't blame the girl he married , she met a guy she liked/loved n they got married ( n most of us will do the same) .. Did he tell her ? I'm sure he did , but how many of us don't have a bad relationship story ? When I use to tell my dates then about him , by the time I finish the story , I'm sure most of them would have strangled him given the chance , cos I told them things ( from my view point ) , so imagine him telling a girl that thinks she's found her prince charming about me , u think she will say go back to her ? Nah , most girls will say thank God I found u , I ll take away ur pain blah blah ..

So it ain't her fault n I'm not mad at her ..

I take the sole blame (I'm not been hard on myself o ) , but the truth be told , I caused most of it ..

I know the man I'll marry by God's grace , will reap the benefit of this growth ..

Can I get an Amen ...? Amen

Amen! I wish you the very best, and hope you have learned from your past mistakes. That is what life is all about, learning. Not saying your son is a mistake, every child is a blessing. Goodluck.

Airpure: Annie God Bless u for this post? U will surely get u heart desire .

Those of u that said she should do otherwise change ur ways ohhhhhhh. God is watching on 4D

Looool ... Thanks babe

I still love @Coogar though

Kobojunkie:

Christ was tempted in the wilderness so . . . . ? Is Annie now the devil to test this man and his marriage? What the frell? Abeg make me leave Jesus out of this yucky mess . . . one of the 10 commandments clearly says "THOU SHALL NOT COVET" . . . once a person commits one sin, the roller-coaster ride that ensues should not in anyway be compared to what Jesus experienced abeg.

Learn to appreciate sarcasm when you see it!

Re the bolded: What more can one say to her? The fact that she's been dithering for the last 9 pages or so, on whether to do or not to do spoke volumes. So she might as well get it over and done with, then maybe she'll invite us all to join her in church to give "thanksgiving" for getting "her man" back from a "loveless" marriage.

And finally, I don't need you to quote the scriptures / Ten Commandments to me. I'm well versed on them, thank you very much.

Efemena_xy:

Learn to appreciate sarcasm when you see it!

Re the bolded: What more can one say to her? The fact that she's been dithering for the last 9 pages or so, on whether to do or not to do spoke volumes. So she might as well get it over and done with, then maybe she'll invite us all to join her in church to give "thanksgiving" for getting "her man" back from a "loveless" marriage.

And finally, I don't need you to quote the scriptures / Ten Commandments to me. I'm well versed on them, thank you very much.

Sarcasm that goes as far as to compare a woman in LUST after another woman's husband with of all people, Jesus Christ is sure to get to those who hold him higher than your average sinner. Sorry, I can not simply bear this kind without making sure it is understand that I do so with some difficulty.

Annie1:


Naaahhh .... I know I can have him , if I want him .. But my conscience will not let me , and most especially my God .. If he wasn't married , i won't even open this thread .. But the marriage makes it a sin !

Few days ago , I wasn't so sure , cos I was interpreting the signs how I wanted to ..

Yes I still blush thinking bout some memories , but that's what they r .

I honestly don't blame the girl he married , she met a guy she liked/loved n they got married ( n most of us will do the same) .. Did he tell her ? I'm sure he did , but how many of us don't have a bad relationship story ? When I use to tell my dates then about him , by the time I finish the story , I'm sure most of them would have strangled him given the chance , cos I told them things ( from my view point ) , so imagine him telling a girl that thinks she's found her prince charming about me , u think she will say go back to her ? Nah , most girls will say thank God I found u , I ll take away ur pain blah blah ..

So it ain't her fault n I'm not mad at her ..

I take the sole blame (I'm not been hard on myself o ) , but the truth be told , I caused most of it ..

I know the man I'll marry by God's grace , will reap the benefit of this growth ..

Can I get an Amen ...? Amen

Why are you gloating over your "powers" to have him at your will?

Based on that, I don't believe your write-up. You're only saying the right thing - not that you mean it. Now tell me, what would you do in this scenario:

***********************

It was a cold, wet and grey November evening. The winds howled eerily as the rainstorm gathered force. Annie was in her living room, relaxing on her sofa, as she watched her three year old toddler junior, on the floor play with his toys. She looked at her watch - 7:30 pm. Her ex (Richard) was meant to have been there 30 mins ago. She checked her phone for any missed calls or text messages from him...nothing. What was keeping him so late? She wondered.

BUZZ..BUZZ.. went her doorbell.

Getting off the sofa, she walked barefooted to the windows to see who it was. Richard!

"What took you so long?" She asked irritably, as she slid the safety chain back and opened the door.

"Annie, I'm sorry. I got caught up in traffic and would have called to let you know but my phone's battery is down", he said looking crestfallen. He was completely drenched and Annie couldn't help feeling sorry for him.

"You could have called me from a pay phone", she said accusingly at him.

"A pay phone? Baby, who uses those archaic artefact these days anyway?" He asked incredulously.

"Some people do", she responded. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. You're here now. You might want to take off those wet clothes while I pop them in the tumble dryer for you", she added.

"Would you do that for me?" he asked, giving her one of his slow, sensual smiles. Annie could feel her heart flip-flopping in her chest as they both looked at each other.

"Yes. Yes, I would. Now please go change in the bathroom while I get you a set of clean, dry clothes", she added.

Three minutes later, with an armful of fresh clothes, she knocked on the bathroom door. The door swung open, with Richard standing unashamedly in his birthday suit. Annie gasped in surprise.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked in a strangled voice, unable to tear her eyes away from his well toned, Adonis god-like physic.

"What do you think I'm doing?", he countered staring back at her, daring her to look lower. "You don't expect me to sit in my wet undies, do you?" he asked, as he stretched his arms to take the clothes from her. Wordlessly, Annie passed them over to him.

I shouldn't be here, she told herself half-heartedly. [i]I should go back to Junior and just let Richard get on with it...[/i]Her thoughts were interrupted by the feel of Richard's warm hands on her arms, pulling her closer to him. She let the clothes drop to the floor as Richard bent his handsome head down to hers and covered her lips with his in a long, slow sensual kiss...She could feel the room spinning around her as Richard pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. She could feel the full outline of his need as his body pressed against hers, while he gently caressed the small of her back...

*************************

Annie, need I continue?

Now tell me that didn't get to you? Talk true and shame the devil o!

Kobojunkie:

Sarcasm that goes as far as to compare a woman in LUST after another woman's husband with of all people, Jesus Christ is sure to get to those who hold him higher than your average sinner. Sorry, I can not simply bear this kind without making sure it is understand that I do so with some difficulty.

Ah Kobo! But to err is human na!

She is afterall, just a mere mortal.