Both of you are pretty messed up

jennykadry: Both of you are pretty messed up

I know .. Me more !

That is why I'm trying not to make any more mistakes , especially with a kid involved ( I never thought of him then , but now I am )

Annie1:


I know .. Me more !

That is why I'm trying not to make any more mistakes , especially with a kid involved ( I never thought of him then , but now I am )

Let it go babes.

There are more important things in life, than succumbing to the Tickle in your Congo.

Annie1:


Thank you for the advice , I know it sounds typical , but it's not the typical man leaves woman n want to get back story

I actually left him , I've not told u all the full story .. I cheated on him (covers face) , not physically but emotionally , I was chatting with this dude at work ( it wasn't explicit stuffs but more romantic ( if u didn't have a boyfriend , I would love u to be mine n i fed into it )

Me Ex read all the text message n e confronted me , and did I apologise ? No ! I said well I didn't physically cheat , so what the biggie ... My arrogance was beyond level and he still stayed , but obviously we started arguing ( unknown to me , I was pregnant ) , when I realise I was , my first reaction was to get rid of it , but I couldn't , cos I knew it was a bigger sin .. And he actually proposed to me , gave me a ring , we started planning a quick simple wedding , but the argument didn't stop , so what did I do , I composed a long letter n told him , it's best we break up despite expecting a child ( stupid me , I thought it will making him stop arguing with me n actually start over pampering me ) .. Oh I was so naive ! Even when I realised it had backfired , should I have stopped and begged ? No I didn't ..

Agreed he wasn't a saint , but I was mean n vicious with my words , now I look back n say , who was that lady ?

Honestly , it was more of a reality check , because if that didn't happen , I will still be a monster

I'm not excusing him for leaving me though , he probably should have tried harder ...or Not .. Hmmm

Sweetheart, just let it go. I can imagine how painful it is not having your ideal life, but he can easily suck you in with those promises. Before you know you would be 60, miserable, trying to fight everyone, and depressed. We are all adults and responsible for our actions and inactions. All over this thread you have made excuses for him and tried to absolve him. You still clearly love this guy and he is feeding on it. My dear, you made a wrong choice in boyfriend, baby daddy, but a smart choice not marrying him. I hope you know this. Can you imagine what the wife is now going through, that could have been you for potentially a life time. Be cordial and friends with him for your child's sake, that is it. Live your life, and meet other people. Forget that guy. Your own man will come and he won't find you if you are so wrapped up in this guy. Is it not the other thread where someone is marrying a girl already pregnant for another man? You think it is over for you that you don't mind settling as mistress? Forget that he is contacting your own family, some women have been second wives without knowing it and probably live in the same state. Some men have wives in every continent. Any low down useless man can meet your family and marry you sef while married. I have met these kind of men twice. They were proposing marriage, lying about their age, forcing themselves to meet my family. But I wasn't stupid now. Keep to your principles my dear, you will find your own. Focus on your child and do the best you can for him while he still has you as a single mum. If that guy wanted you, he would have fought and waited. Even if he gets a divorce, I don't think you want to marry someone that can lie about his marriage and engagement to his baby mom. Meaning his son was something to hide from his new wife, and from the people present at the wedding. You really escaped from getting married to a liar, a cheat, and a deceiver. You think he wasn't dating that girl all while you guys were engaged and fighting? Tell yourself the truth always, you will never go wrong in life. If he is serious, let him get a divorce, see the papers and maybe you guys can date for some 2-5yrs.

This is a big lesson to everyone. people need to put pride aside sometimes and just live life. u had a son for some1. u loved him but was too full of pride to show ur true feelings now he is someone else's he seems appealing to u. i always say life is too short.wats old to u is new to d next person.please advice ur baby daddy to go mend things with his wife my dear cos if he marries u he wont treat u right.

Okay, more complicated than I imagined, hmmmm, I feel sorry for the poor woman you people brought into this mess.
Talk to him. Sort your selves out, act like adults in future, stop being childish and expecting begging. I am just sorry for the lady caught in the middle, he just married her to piss you off for pissing on him. You both grow uo

Annie1:
I know .. Me more !

That is why I'm trying not to make any more mistakes , especially with a kid involved ( I never thought of him then , but now I am )

i cannot see any major mistake here........

obviously, the two of you still have feelings for each other - this is why you could still blush after telling us about the kiss......the only snag is his wife at home! if he sends his wife packing, i see no reason why you can't get back with him(at least for the sake of your son)

mistakes were made in the past but for fück's sake, none of us here is perfect! he doesn't have a kid with the new wife yet so if he were to seek a divorce, there is no baggage of ex wife or ex husband visiting. tell him to start the divorce process if he still wants you......

baby_123:

Sweetheart, just let it go. I can imagine how painful it is not having your ideal life, but he can easily suck you in with those promises. Before you know you would be 60, miserable, trying to fight everyone, and depressed. We are all adults and responsible for our actions and inactions. All over this thread you have made excuses for him and tried to absolve him. You still clearly love this guy and he is feeding on it. My dear, you made a wrong choice in boyfriend, baby daddy, but a smart choice not marrying him. I hope you know this. Can you imagine what the wife is now going through, that could have been you for potentially a life time. Be cordial and friends with him for your child's sake, that is it. Live your life, and meet other people. Forget that guy. Your own man will come and he won't find you if you are so wrapped up in this guy. Is it not the other thread where someone is marrying a girl already pregnant for another man? You think it is over for you that you don't mind settling as mistress? Forget that he is contacting your own family, some women have been second wives without knowing it and probably live in the same state. Some men have wives in every continent. Any low down useless man can meet your family and marry you sef while married. I have met these kind of men twice. They were proposing marriage, lying about their age, forcing themselves to meet my family. But I wasn't stupid now. Keep to your principles my dear, you will find your own. Focus on your child and do the best you can for him while he still has you as a single mum. If that guy wanted you, he would have fought and waited. Even if he gets a divorce, I don't think you want to marry someone that can lie about his marriage and engagement to his baby mom. Meaning his son was something to hide from his new wife, and from the people present at the wedding. You really escaped from getting married to a liar, a cheat, and a deceiver. You think he wasn't dating that girl all while you guys were engaged and fighting? Tell yourself the truth always, you will never go wrong in life. If he is serious, let him get a divorce, see the papers and maybe you guys can date for some 2-5yrs.

I'll try and let go .. Thanks

coogar:

i cannot see any major mistake here........

obviously, the two of you still have feelings for each other - this is why you could still blush after telling us about the kiss......the only snag is his wife at home! if he sends his wife packing, i see no reason why you can't get back with him(at least for the sake of your son)

mistakes were made in the past but for fück's sake, none of us here is perfect! he doesn't have a kid with the new wife yet so if he were to seek a divorce, there is no baggage of ex wife or ex husband visiting. tell him to start the divorce process if he still wants you......

Im still blushing , thinking about it , i just didnt think me and him could be here ( we ve threatened each other , effing n cussing ), ....so for us to even think about each other romantically , I don't know why , it came out of nowhere ..
I know I'll stop the thoughts , he's someone else's man , hard but I'll try.

N u r right .. we r not all perfect !
But If only it was that simple ....Sigh !

Airpure: This is a big lesson to everyone. people need to put pride aside sometimes and just live life. u had a son for some1. u loved him but was too full of pride to show ur true feelings now he is someone else's he seems appealing to u. i always say life is too short.wats old to u is new to d next person.please advice ur baby daddy to go mend things with his wife my dear cos if he marries u he wont treat u right.

Yes o , Pride was the major factor ..

N I've learnt my lessons.

Annie1:

Im still blushing , thinking about it , i just didnt think me and him could be here ( we ve threatened each other , effing n cussing ), ....so for us to even think about each other romantically , I don't know why , it came out of nowhere ..
I know I'll stop the thoughts , he's someone else's man , hard but I'll try.

N u r right .. we r not all perfect !
But If only it was that simple ....Sigh !

personally, i don't think the thoughts can be stopped.....there's a kid attached and he would always come around to check on the kid - which means you would always have to see him. it's only a matter of time before you guys start kissing again.......

this is why i feel you should get back together if the feeling is mutual. it's natural to feel sorry for his wife but if he truly loves her, why is he sniffing around you? besides, did this woman feel sorry for you when she walked the aisle with the dude? did she feel sorry for the heartbroken, lonely single mother?

and when wont the man go back to his wife (or another woman) anyway?

you believe all the blue jazz he's feeding you, you're OYO o.

of course you can choose to give him the benefit of the doubt, but its your choice.

tpia1: and when wont the man go back to his wife (or another woman) anyway?
you believe all the blue jazz he's feeding you, you're OYO o.

of course you can choose to give him the benefit of the doubt, but its your choice.

why would he go back to the wife after divorce?

,,,

chaircover:

. . . because they are not yet divorced. Coogar na wa o! must have been a long week

lemme ask again....why would he go back to the wife after divorce? chaircover, the cold must be really biting you in that scottish village of yours.....

...

jennykadry: Both of you are pretty messed up

Never knew this day would come. Well, it's here can't believe I'd ever agree with aunt jenny in this life. Hi aunt Jenny *waves*.
The OP is decided. She wants the man so badly she can't even hide her nostalgia for the 'good' times.
You see , she is a perfect example of the kind of person that makes people conclude women are fish brained.
Another womans husband kissed you and you didn't have enough dignity on you to slap him. There is no doubt about it, this generation will soon implode itself.
I hope you all are noting it o. She also has a record of cheating on her man. Believe me, this woman stinks and even if she were to get together with her man they'll soon be estranged sooner than you could expect.
OP, I advice you stay away from another mans husband and probably learn to keep your legs together next time. You might be lucky to find a man who is willing to marry a baby momma.
I do hope you don't live in Nigeria sha cos if you do then Goodluck o cos you'll need lots of it.
The best you may get with a kid out of wedlock is a divorcee or widower. I'm trying to be realistic here really. I hope nobody shoots me for this candid opinion sha.

chaircover:
scotland ke?? you want mr cc to be wearing skirt abi?

skirt is good for men - it ventilates the chocolate factory.

ermmmmm oga coogar I repeat . . . . annies ex-boyfriend is still married. He is NOT divorced.

i know that for a fact - i said annie should tell the ex-boyfriend to seek for a divorce if he's really serious about getting back together with her and the son! tpia1 asked a question that what stops the man from cheating on annie after getting her back.....get it now?

. . . .or should we switch to youruba if that will be any easier for you

nah - i prefer latin or swahili!

Oh!, And I aslso have this gut feeling OP is already sleeping with the man. You see some people on here are a lil psychic so don't be too surprised I Know the dude is already drilling you.
Dude is a cold blooded mofo, having his cake and eating it too, Damn!

Guitarlife: Oh!, And I aslso have this gut feeling OP is already sleeping with the man. You see some people on here are a lil psychic so don't be too surprised I Know the dude is already drilling you.
Dude is a cold blooded mofo, having his cake and eating it too, Damn!

stop making daft assumptions......
there's no reason to believe she's sleeping with the babypoppa...even if she's doing it - how's it your headache? that's the father of her son not just a random bloke and she admitted it was entirely her fault she let him slip away because of her oversized ego......how do you know your own wife is not sleeping with her ex as we speak? siddon there......

coogar:

why would he go back to the wife after divorce?

the guy is a drifter, end of.

doesnt show seriousness at all.

cant make up his mind either, thats never a good sign.

impregnate someone (ok, assume it wasnt intentional although he didnt use a condom)

marry someone else very quickly (also a mistake?)

leaves the other person at top speed (error?)

comes back to other lady, quickly kisses her in the twinkling of an eye (hormones?)

the presence of one of the above could be a mistake and room for "making up", presence of all of the above show a drifter.

not saying the op is better, its just the child who has to bear the brunt of all of this.

tpia1:
the guy is a drifter, end of.
doesnt show seriousness at all.
cant make up his mind either, thats never a good sign.

how did you come to the conclusion he cannot make his mind? he was dating the op, got her knocked up, there was a small tiff, the dude tried to reconcile, the op let the small issue degenerate into a massive issue. guy tried to get back, op resisted and he was ready to marry.....the op didn't make herself available and the man married his second fiddle - which is the most natural thing to do!

impregnate someone (ok, assume it wasnt intentional)
marry someone else very quickly (also a mistake?)
leaves the other person at top speed (error?)

he married somene else out of frustration - not because he was in love. look around you, far majority of the married couple you know married what was available when they were ready to marry - not because of love. the men most women wanted to marry were not ready for marriage......you think the man would wait forever?

comes back to other lady, quickly kisses her in the twinkling of an eye (hormones?)
the presence of one of the above could be a mistake and room for "making up", presence of all of the above show a drifter.

not saying the op is better, its just the child who has to bear the brunt of all of this.

he's not a drifter.......he wants to be with the mother of his child!

coogar:

stop making daft assumptions......
there's no reason to believe she's sleeping with the op, even if she's doing it - how's it your headache? that's the father of her son not just a random bloke and she admitted it was entirely her fault she let him slip away because of her oversized ego......how do you know your own wife is not sleeping with her ex as we speak? siddon there......

I'm not married. Hehehe lobatan.
On a serious note, it seems you've been away from Nigeris for too long. Our women have now become not only daring but clinical in the matter they exhibit their infidelity
Imagine OP does not even have any feeling of guilt for making a home unstable. It's apparent it's cos she is in the picture that the mans home is about to crash.
Stop endorsing rubbish and read beyond what she has posted. Some people are psychic so respect that .
And stop using abusive words on a public forum. If your son read those would he be proud of you as a father ? Learn to communicate your convictions in a more refined manner.
I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt this time. Please Don't disappoint me.

Now this thread is hotting up nicely

Guitarlife: I'm not married. Hehehe lobatan.
On a serious note, it seems you've been away from Nigeris for too long. Our women have now become not only daring but clinical in the matter they exhibit their infidelity
Imagine OP does not even have any feeling of guilt for making a home unstable. It's apparent it's cos she is in the picture that the mans home is about to crash.

what guilt are we talking about? how many women would see the man they once loved and not melt in their hearts? why do you think people trumpet okafor's law as a universal law? i have not been away from nigeria too long - you are being too judgemental, you are letting your emotions cloud your vision!

Stop endorsing rubbish and read beyond what she has posted. Some people are psychic so respect that .

i am not endorsing rubbish - from what i can gather from her story, she still loves her ex - big deal!!! of course, the ex is now married to another woman but she forced him to make that rash decision. if the ex does not love his wife, what stops the op from marrying her ex? which law prohibits her from marrying her ex?

And stop using abusive words on a public forum. If your son read those would he be proud of you as a father ? Learn to communicate your convictions in a more refined manner. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt this time. Please Don't disappoint me.

what abusive words have i used - do you have double vision?
how can you chart this route after telling me i am endorsing rubbish? you need to quit being hypersensitive! mistakes were made by both parties and there's no reason they cannot get back together and erase that mistake.......the son is better off with his father and his mum living under the same roof!

Erase the mistake at whose cost? I agree with JK. This is a mess. I don't know how the other oman would be feeling now.


What of the baby involved. Poor kid.

kitty kat: Erase the mistake at whose cost? I agree with JK. This is a mess. I don't know how the other woman would be feeling now.

What of the baby involved. Poor kid.

life is all about winners and losers.
who lost when the man married the other woman? no one is asking that question but you want to know at whose expense if the mistake is erased?

just so you know, the last time you got your job, someone out there was heartbroken, sad and thought of suicide! when you laugh, someone else is crying for the same situation!

women who marry baby-fathers should think deep before making rash decisions cos moments like this can spring up!

coogar:

life is all about winners and losers.
who lost when the man married the other woman? no one is asking that question but you want to know at whose expense if the mistake is erased?

just so you know, the last time you got your job, someone out there was heartbroken, sad and thought of suicide! when you laugh, someone else is crying for the same situation!

women who marry baby-fathers should think deep before making rash decisions cos moments like this can spring up!

Its a complicated world. The funny thing is that some of the women are even aware that the man still loves the baby momma and do their best to get a ring. Forgetting that these sort of complications will arise.

Anyway human beinGs will keep beinG selfish. To each his own. I don't have anythinG to advise aGain cos I have seen a lady fiGht with another lady over a baby daddy. Infact she prayed daily for the baby momma to die just to wear a ring. At the end of the day, she wore the ring but baby daddy decided he wanted his ex back.

Who we go blame now. Now Mrs is runnninG allover the place crying to who will help her chase away the Jezebel baby momma away forgettinG she stole d man at first.
Women!!!!

kitty kat:
Its a complicated world. The funny thing is that some of the women are even aware that the man still loves the baby momma and do their best to get a ring. Forgetting that these sort of complications will arise.

Anyway human beinGs will keep beinG selfish. To each his own. I don't have anythinG to advise aGain cos I have seen a lady fiGht with another lady over a baby daddy. Infact she prayed daily for the baby momma to die just to wear a ring. At the end of the day, she wore the ring but baby daddy decided he wanted his ex back.

Who we go blame now. Now Mrs is runnninG allover the place crying to who will help her chase away the Jezebel baby momma away forgettinG she stole d man at first.
Women!!!!

you won't get far in life if you are not selfish - i dunno why people think being selfish is necessarily a bad thing. so this op should be sad for life and wear the mark of a baby momma forever so the wife can be happy?

@ op, i read ur story earlier, i didnt feel like commenting becos i felt it is just nothing, Truth is bitter & u wil never like those that tell u, i m trying not 2 jugde u here but ur action is just not it, & i m nt surprise becos lots of our ladies do this. Every thing u had wit him s null & void since u he got married, so go look 4 ur own husband. Ur action was one reason why i didnt want my wife close 2 her Ex of so many years. I just dnt knw where dis idea of fishy brain of u women came from

Coogar, from a man's perspective, tell us honestly: Are this guy's (her ex's) intentions honourable?

Or is it that you know for a fact, this ex of her's sees her as "easy picking" and is simply taking advantage? If this is the case, then why are you leading the poor girl astray?

The guy has moved on with his life, and she should too. No need for long story abeg.

bjcole: @ op, i read ur story earlier, i didnt feel like commenting becos i felt it is just nothing, Truth is bitter & u wil never like those that tell u, i m trying not 2 jugde u here but ur action is just not it, & i m nt surprise becos lots of our ladies do this. Every thing u had wit him s null & void since he got married, so go look 4 ur own husband. Ur action was one reason why i didnt want my wife close 2 her Ex of so many years. I just dnt knw where dis idea of fishy brain of u women came from

hahahaha
she's the one with the child and most importantly, there's a mutual feeling!
op is the number one favourite!

Efemena_xy: Coogar, from a man's perspective, tell us honestly: Are this guy's (her ex's) intentions honourable?

nobody knows what his intentions are......but we can find out. this is why i said the op should ask him to seek a divorce to test his seriousness and his intentions. if he does that then she's free to get back with him. if he shies away from seeking divorce, then the op should kick him out of her life like polio....

Or is it that you know for a fact, this ex of her's sees her as "easy picking" and is simply taking advantage? If this is the case, then why are you leading the poor girl astray?

"easy pickings, taking advantage"....i don't like these phrases. the op is not a minor - she's a full grown adult - old enough to take care of a child! i am not asking her to start sleeping with him - i simply said she should get the man to seek divorce before they make any other sëxual contact....

The guy has moved on with his life, and she should too. No need for long story abeg.

if the guy really moved on, what was he doing in the op's house french-kissing her? in saner climes, he could be charged for affray, sëxual harassment, adultery, etc....