Goldieluks:

This bros will never stop.

Like my brother from another mother.... Never gives up ...

Efemena_xy: ^^

Na your church mind you use take type that thing coogar??

*** Desperately tries to surpress the overwhelming urge to giggle uncontrollably***

mosque mind!

jidegirl12: @ cooger pls leave them alone ! They just don't get it!

they have been left alone!

coogar:

shut up missy and take your polluted air out of here - whoever lied to you your air is pure must be a fraud! one month or one year, what fücking difference does it make?



hogwash!
why don't you just pretend my cöck is a balloon n blow it....

Young "Girl" I will treat u d way i treated the last classless person on NL with social and communication deficiencies that thinks the only way to communicate is by being abusive. Really sad.

Consider urself ignored till ur learn some social n communication skills cos not everyone has to tolerate the result of bad upbringing n messed up mind.

Airpure:
Young "Girl" I will treat u d way i treated the last classless person on NL with social and communication deficiencies that thinks the only way to communicate is by being abusive. Really sad.

miss jackson won't learn to keep her mouth shut - are you suffering from diarrhoea of the mouth? anything to get noticed from all these leprechauns who lacked parental love as kids. kindly fück off - please! i never noticed you until you dipped your freckled nose in an issue that had nothing to do with you. bloody attention seeker.....

Consider urself ignored till ur learn some social n communication skills cos not everyone has to tolerate the result of bad upbringing n messed up mind.

consider myself ignored? i am heartbroken - not talking to you would take off loads of pounds from my bank and leave me destitute. you miserable cünt - who are you by the way that ignoring me would cause me so much grief?

i need to strut across the street to the cash machine so i can buy you some artificial intelligence. this is the outcome when a foetus fails to get the necessary nutrients via the placenta. in the punditry of hard currency, your intelligence at best would be the somalian shillings!

coogar:

nah, that's not it
majority said she should look for another man and never ever consider taking her ex back! go back to page 1 and read over again. i now know why most topic starters lie about the incidents they are reporting - nigerians are too judgemental!



you have overstayed @ yaba left
go and ask for your certificate of attendance cos there are eligible bachelors who are interested in you!

I reckon its the moral angle and homewrecker tag causing the hullabaloo, but then some Scientists recently discovered that the frontal cortex part of the brain that controls rational thinking shuts down when someone is in love, hence explanation for the reason people doing foolish things in love...


Asides this, how many Naija men, especially players play it by one rule? Men are majorly the ones who proposes marriage in Nigeria, and it is a common phenomenon to see a guy - dating several girls concurrently - decides he is ready to marry, then ...asks Girl A (the main girl) whom he loves most to marry him, if she says yes, it is only a matter of time until he dumps Girl B (the back up girl)... If Girl A she says no, he asks Girl B (the back up girl), some even have girl C, D, etc...


Now you see Girl B,C,D going round town, delirious with joy, flashing an engagement ring, posting pictures on facebook, Twitter, BBM, etc... unbeknown to her that she was second fiddle...(and i know loads of girls like this and all i just do is mutter "if only you knew"... I am sure you have even read stories to that effect on Nairaland about girls coming to lament that their boyfriend whom had been refusing to discuss marriage with them...broke up with them and was getting married to someone else in a fortnight!!!


How does one know if this is not one of such stories, especially considering the fact that the ex forgave the OP after she cheated on him and was still willing to marry her, but she wasn't interested due to pride!


And how many times do we read stories here of "Daddy just left home and abandoned us and moved in with another woman, and we typical Nigerians blame it on juju, huh!!!


All i know is that any single lady who wants to know the inner working of a man, especially a badt Maija man berra start following Coogar's posts, because you are one of the few peeps on this forum who keeps it real. Keep it up bredrin

This dumb OP is being mind fu*cked and taunted. When will these gullible chicks ever learn? You are a baby mama, not wife. Know thy place. Don't know why baby mama's always dreaming they can be wifey.hahahahaha.

2mch: This dumb OP is being mind fu*cked and taunted. When will these gullible chicks ever learn? You are a baby mama, not wife. Know thy place. Don't know why baby mama's always dreaming they can be wifey.hahahahaha.

Sad truth!

Busy_body:
I reckon its the moral angle and homewrecker tag causing the hullabaloo, but then some Scientists recently discovered that the frontal cortex part of the brain that controls rational thinking shuts down when someone is in love, hence explanation for the reason people doing foolish things in love...

Asides this, how many Naija men, especially players play it by one rule? Men are majorly the ones who proposes marriage in Nigeria, and it is a common phenomenon to see a guy - dating several girls concurrently - decides he is ready to marry, then ...asks Girl A (the main girl) whom he loves most to marry him, if she says yes, it is only a matter of time until he dumps Girl B (the back up girl)... If Girl A she says no, he asks Girl B (the back up girl), some even have girl C, D, etc...

Now you see Girl B,C,D going round town, delirious with joy, flashing an engagement ring, posting pictures on facebook, Twitter, BBM, etc... unbeknown to her that she was second fiddle...(and i know loads of girls like this and all i just do is mutter "if only you knew"... I am sure you have even read stories to that effect on Nairaland about girls coming to lament that their boyfriend whom had been refusing to discuss marriage with them...broke up with them and was getting married to someone else in a fortnight!!!

How does one know if this is not one of such stories, especially considering the fact that the ex forgave the OP after she cheated on him and was still willing to marry her, but she wasn't interested due to pride!

And how many times do we read stories here of "Daddy just left home and abandoned us and moved in with another woman, and we typical Nigerians blame it on juju, huh!!!

hammer collides with the head of the nail........
you killed it!!!!

All i know is that any single lady who wants to know the inner working of a man, especially a badt Maija man berra start following Coogar's posts, because you are one of the few peeps on this forum who keeps it real. Keep it up bredrin

what can i say?
thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!

coogar:

hammer collides with the head of the nail........
you killed it!!!!




what can i say?
thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!

Seriously speaking, the gems you come up with when it comes to issues like this, is stuffs bestsellers are made of... I just hope those who have ears would learn and those who have eyes would see, but women like being lied to...why...Lord knows... ^{sighs and throws hands up in the air dejectedly}...

Thanks for all ur advice ( the good n the bad) ( though which , will I deem good , hmmmm I wonder !

but thanks all the same

@ op this is a common story. Don't fall for it. He will not leave his wife he is just bored or something.

Annie1: Thanks for all ur advice ( the good n the bad) ( though which , will I deem good , hmmmm I wonder !

but thanks all the same

I really don't think you did anything bad by wanting your man back. Yes, I call him your man cos that's exactly what he is. He might be married to someone else, but he was yours first.

You made a mistake when you let him go, a mistake that many women make. Some have lost 'the one' cos of their silly pride; some others were luck enough to get extra paitient men who are also very matured. I say this because it's obvious your ex is very immature. It doen't make his a bad person, it doesn't make him unfit for you or anyone else .. . it just makes him fickle. Something he's bound to outgrow eventually when life begins to come hard at him.

That being said, I think you need to come to terms with the fact that he's gone for good. I know it seems impossible, but you'll love again, and then you'll see why this man you love so much now was never meant to be your husband!

No, you are not going after someone else's man, no you are not silly or crazy . . . you are a perfectly normal young woman who made a mistake. A mistake that cost her a lot, but NOT everything. You have a bright future ahead of you, please don't lose sight of that.

Let your ex go . . . .

2mch: This dumb OP is being mind fu*cked and taunted. When will these gullible chicks ever learn? You are a baby mama, not wife. Know thy place. Don't know why baby mama's always dreaming they can be wifey.hahahahaha.

Very very uncalled for . . . and honestly sounds stup1d!

UJu

^would you call your ex "your man"?

jennykadry: UJu

^would you call your ex "your man"?

No . . .

But then I didnt plan a wedding with him, or have a child for him!

^^^Cool. So you did not marry him right? Secondly, OP did not state anywhere that she planned a wedding with him and if I remember correctly, she wasn't interested in the relationship. Thirdly, you said he "was" hers first before he got married? "Was" meaning, he is no longer hers but hers

Ok, so it is okay for tuface' baby mamas to call him "their man" cos they have kids for him eh kwa? So having kids for a man who is not married to you automatically makes him your man? Even when he is married to someone else?

If you call him her man, why did you end up calling him an ex in your last comment( first post)?

Ujujoan:

I really don't think you did anything bad by wanting your man back. Yes, I call him your man cos that's exactly what he is. He might be married to someone else, but he was yours first.

You made a mistake when you let him go, a mistake that many women make. Some have lost 'the one' cos of their silly pride; some others were luck enough to get extra paitient men who are also very matured. I say this because it's obvious your ex is very immature. It doen't make his a bad person, it doesn't make him unfit for you or anyone else .. . it just makes him fickle. Something he's bound to outgrow eventually when life begins to come hard at him.

That being said, I think you need to come to terms with the fact that he's gone for good. I know it seems impossible, but you'll love again, and then you'll see why this man you love so much now was never meant to be your husband!

No, you are not going after someone else's man, no you are not silly or crazy . . . you are a perfectly normal young woman who made a mistake. A mistake that cost her a lot, but NOT everything. You have a bright future ahead of you, please don't lose sight of that.

Let your ex go . . . .

Thanks Jenny for this post , u r so spot on with this post !

( yes we were planning to get married , we were about to buy those package weddings (my idea), cos I was already pregnant n I didn't want any naija long shindig... )

Yes Immaturity played a big part n being very fickle .... I can still see some immaturity traits even now ..

I told him , yes I caused most of it , but he left despite a child been there n he got soooooooo upset , like how can I say he left , that I told him to leave , I said yeah but u didn't stay , u left n we just went back n forth again ..

I really don't think he's moved on cos these things upset him so much ....

We havent spoken since Friday , when I told him , it's best we move on , which I think it's for the best , though I'm not going to lie , I do wish he will say something ..

I think , the thing with me is the loneliness , I soo hate been lonely . I've met a lot of ppl , some have even told me , they will wholeheartedly adopt my boy n we should get married n all , but they r just not my type n I know they won't make him happy , I will rather stay home , than go out with ppl that I find it tedious to hang out with! I crash my Sis n her husbands dates every time ..lol
Don't get me wrong , I've met some that I like , but they r after that one thing n it's so glaring to see , I ve been tempted yeah n regretted it n vow not to make the mistake anymore .

I just feel , I've made so much of a mess

@ Jenny . . . .

Annie1:
And he actually proposed to me , gave me a ring , we started planning a quick simple wedding , but the argument didn't stop , so what did I do , I composed a long letter n told him , it's best we break up despite expecting a child ( stupid me , I thought it will making him stop arguing with me n actually start over pampering me ) .. Oh I was so naive ! Even when I realised it had backfired , should I have stopped and begged ? No I didn't ..

I'm sure Tuface didn't propose to any of his baby mamas or give them a ring.

We all make mistakes, sometimes we are too proud to say how we really feel. She lost her man, not entirely a fault of hers because she was hormonal (early pregnancy) and the guy didnt know how to handle that!

They had a strong relationship for a long time and only fell apart when things got a little rough.

Actually, the person I blame is the wife who jumped in at the little opportunity she got. Didn't she know her hubby was still in love with his child's mother? Didn't she know they had unresolved feelings for each other? It's not the op's fault that the woman jumped into a marriage she probably knew was a lie!

The guy married the first woman who came along . . . doesn't mean his heart is not still with the op.

I call him her ex now because I think she needs to let him go. Not because he's someone else' husband, but because everything happens for a reason.

The fact that they are not married today means they are not meant to be married. There's someone else for her, someone she will lose if she keeps looking back!

jennykadry: ^^^Cool. So you did not marry him right? Secondly, OP did not state anywhere that she planned a wedding with him and if I remember correctly, she wasn't interested in the relationship. Thirdly, you said he "was" hers first before he got married? "Was" meaning, he is no longer hers but hers

Ok, so it is okay for tuface' baby mamas to call him "their man" cos they have kids for him eh kwa? So having kids for a man who is not married to you automatically makes him your man? Even when he is married to someone else?

If you call him her man, why did you end up calling him an ex in your last comment( first post)?

YOu ask very good questions. I was going to question that pile of CONTRADICTIONS but I decided it not worth the waste of time it will probably end up as.

Ok I missed that part.

Wow you blame the wife who you are assuming jumped into a marriage? Wow UJu wow, is she the first person to marry a baby daddy

You are sure tuface did not propose to any of them, were you there?

Women.

Annie1:


Thanks Jenny for this post , u r so spot on with this post !

Yes Immaturity played a big part n being very fickle .... I can still see some immaturity traits even now ..

I told him , yes I caused most of it , but he left despite a child been there n he got soooooooo upset , like how can I say he left , that I told him to leave , I said yeah but u didn't stay , u left n we just went back n forth again ..

I really don't think he's moved on cos these things upset him so much ....

We havent spoken since Friday , when I told him , it's best we move on , which I think it's for the best , though I'm not going to lie , I do wish he will say something ..

I think , the thing with me is the loneliness , I soo hate been lonely . I've met a lot of ppl , some have even told me , they will wholeheartedly adopt my boy n we should get married n all , but they r just not my type n I know they won't make him happy , I will rather stay home , than go out with ppl that I find it tedious to hang out with! I crash my Sis n her husbands dates every time ..lol
Don't get me wrong , I've met some that I like , but they r after that one thing n it's so glaring to see , I ve been tempted yeah n regretted it n vow not to make the mistake anymore .

I just feel , I've made so much of a mess

Lol @ the 'mess' . . .

It's okay to make a mess . . that way you'll know how NOT to make a mess next time!

He might not feel very strongly for his wife now because he still has feelings for you. That's why you need to move on yourself so he can concentrate and face his marrige.

He's just not the one for you and when you meet that person, you'll see why!

How can you be lonely when you have a big (3-year old ) man all to yourself! hahahah I tire for you oh!

I can't type long now.

jennykadry: Ok I missed that part.

Wow you blame the wife who you are assuming jumped into a marriage? Wow UJu wow, is she the first person to marry a baby daddy

You are sure tuface did not propose to any of them, were you there?

Women.

no I wasn't there, but I can bet my last kobo he didn't.

Yes I blame the wife cos she obviously rushed into the marriage. I bet they didnt even know each other for up to a year before they got married. It's obvious to know when a man still has unresolved feelings for his ex . . . I bet she just played dumb!

Of course she's not the first to marry a baby daddy but here she is, having these kind of problems in her first year of marriage. I wonder how she feels about things now!

I know marrige is a sacred institution and it's supposed to be respected. But those that go into it blindly should expect it to backfire like this.

Kobojunkie:

YOu ask very good questions. I was going to question that pile of CONTRADICTIONS but I decided it not worth the waste of time it will probably end up as.

GOOD! move along now . . .

Ujujoan:

no I wasn't there, but I can bet my last kobo he didn't.

Yes I blame the wife cos she obviously rushed into the marriage. I bet they didnt even know each other for up to a year before they got married. It's obvious to know when a man still has unresolved feelings for his ex . . . I bet she just played dumb!

Of course she's not the first to marry a baby daddy but here she is, having problems in her first year of marriage. I wonder how she feels about things now!

I know marrige is a sacred institution and it's supposed to be respected. But those that go into it blindly should expect it to backfire like this.

UJu you weren't there so stop it. You can bet from now till tomorrow, you were not there

Do you know what caused the problems? Do you know why they are having issues in their marriage? do you even know what caused the marital issues? Why are you judging and blaming a woman who we don't know might have been innocent in all of these?

@Annie has been asked many times what caused the issues in their marriage and she has refused to answer.

jennykadry:

UJu you weren't there so stop it. You can bet from now till tomorrow, you were not there

Do you know what caused the problems? Do you know why they are having issues in their marriage? do you even know what caused the marital issues? Why are you judging and blaming a woman who we don't know might have been innocent in all of these?

@Annie has been asked many times what caused the issues in their marriage and she has refused to answer.

But you were also not there to know if he proposed. I'm betting cos I know tuface is a celibrity and if he proposed to a woman, it's going to be on the news!

I find it difficult to belive that a woman will be completely unaware of the fact that her b/f or husband has his heart elsewhere.

What could be causing the problems in op's husband's marriage if not that he's still in love with someone else. People fight in their marriages but how many have their husbands moving out and running back to his ex?

Obviously he could have made things work with his ex if he wasn't immature and impatient . . . . But he didn't and he married someone else.

Someone's got to take the blame here but I'm not giving it to the OP!

I have so many lines I wanna dissect but I can't cos I am mobile

nwayo nwayo . . . . you can disect away when you land.
KJ pls stay away . . thank you!

Annie1:


Thanks Jenny for this post , u r so spot on with this post !

( yes we were planning to get married , we were about to buy those package weddings (my idea), cos I was already pregnant n I didn't want any naija long shindig... )

Yes Immaturity played a big part n being very fickle .... I can still see some immaturity traits even now ..

I told him , yes I caused most of it , but he left despite a child been there n he got soooooooo upset , like how can I say he left , that I told him to leave , I said yeah but u didn't stay , u left n we just went back n forth again ..

I really don't think he's moved on cos these things upset him so much ....

We havent spoken since Friday , when I told him , it's best we move on , which I think it's for the best , though I'm not going to lie , I do wish he will say something ..

I think , the thing with me is the loneliness , I soo hate been lonely . I've met a lot of ppl , some have even told me , they will wholeheartedly adopt my boy n we should get married n all , but they r just not my type n I know they won't make him happy , I will rather stay home , than go out with ppl that I find it tedious to hang out with! I crash my Sis n her husbands dates every time ..lol
Don't get me wrong , I've met some that I like , but they r after that one thing n it's so glaring to see , I ve been tempted yeah n regretted it n vow not to make the mistake anymore .

I just feel , I've made so much of a mess

You really need to stop being so hard on yourself and feeling like you didn't do enough. The responsibility to work out the relationship was not yours alone. You got pregnant and had the child and what did he do? he went on to get married to someone else despite the fact that you guys had something good going to the point of planning a wedding. You both were immature but all these are in the past. Now the present -you are here with your kid while he is married to someone else and wants you back as?? and the truth is some day you will meet someone you'll like and will like you too, it may take a while but rest assured it will happen. Babe let him go he isn't yours. While sorting out his marital problems he shouldn't be messing up your own life. He didn't look back before he got married and now he is looking back when its too late.

Kobojunkie:

YOu ask very good questions. I was going to question that pile of CONTRADICTIONS but I decided it not worth the waste of time it will probably end up as.

Sme people are not meant to be. My husband wasn't the one I had in mind to marry at the very beginning. Things happen for a reason, OP called itl pride and I can call it "maybe it is not the will of God" .

chaircover: "They are in love" . . . . what a reason!!!!!!

. . . . . . na wa o! So if my husband suddenly wakes up one morning and meets an ex girlfriend who he was in love with in 1932 on the road, its okay for him to go back to her and dump me . . . . afterall who knows all the bad things I did before in my life and it is Karma catching up with me abi . . . . .(or was i the only women he has ever loved in his life)

This is why marriages are 2 for one kobo these days. No one seems to know the importance of what marriage means any more. Easy in and easy out. No commitment and no respect for the marriage institution.

Look lets call a spade a spade here. The man is married full stop. You are liaising with a married man full stop. If anyone thought about the baby having a father and living in a 1+1 family, all the egos and silly games wouldn't have got in the way, but it did and the plane has taken off leaving some people at the departure lounge.

Yeah lessons may have been learnt on some sides, but that the whole idea of life and that is to teach us lessons and not all mistakes are rectifiable. . . . . .certainly you dont build your home on a marshy or sandy foundation.

This is NOT a mills and boons happy ending love story as some people think, This is a very messy and sinful situation and even if you get back together it is unlikely that your relationship stands the test of time cos there are too many jagged edges.

This man is no longer yours. He stopped being yours the day he said I do to his wife; baby or not and if anyone tells you otherwise they are just misleading you.

I am sure that there is a man out there worth of your love . . . . .mindset & self esteem my dear. Go get it and leave this poor womans husband alone and give him space to fix his marriage.

You are right on this madam CC . . . I agree that the man should be left alone to face his marrigae . . . I also agree that there's no guarantee that the relationship will work out.

But like you said, life is NOT mills and boons. Not everybody meet their prince charming, marry them and settle down to live happily after.

Some lose their prince charming along the way, meet someone else, marry them, fall in love with them and realize prince charming could maybe not have been the one to begin with.

There are no hard and fast rules to these things!

What guarantee do you have that if (God forbid) you break up with your hubby and he gets back with an ex, they wont have a happy life together

Anything is possible!

I believe poster has her own husband waiting for her, probably why things didnt work out in the first place.

But I dont consider her stupid for loving this man . . . .

Ujujoan: nwayo nwayo . . . . you can disect away when you land.
KJ pls stay away . . thank you!

It's just sad reading your post. You chose to assume and judge people at your own free will for why? To drive your points home? Or make people reason with you? How many married women have come on nairaland to seek for help? Didn't I post here a few months ago about;

1. An African here who met and fell in love with a Nigerian guy that got her preggers but married someone else-because she refused to travel down to naija? This girl has sent her daughter back home and just recently, her ex was trying to add her on Facebook. She ignored his request. He called and she warned him to stay away from her, gave him her mothers phone number and ask him to ring his daughter there anytime he wants to speak to her. Tis is a woman that knows what marriage is and is not ready interfere.

2. A divorced Zimbabwean whose ex husbands wife had no idea that this man was an abuser whose marriage went down the drain cos he cheated on his wife with a married woman?

It is oka for you to sit down and judge a fellow woman for what gain?

Ps I'm mobile pardon my error