coogar:

hahahaha
she's the one with the child and most importantly, there's a mutual feeling!
op is the number one favourite!

Okay, I'm sorry dude for the outburst but this your premise makes a comedy of the marriage vows. Don't they count for anything again ? I don't get it. If OP is still in the forefront of those who has express right to that guy then where does the rightful wife stand.
So becos the legitimate wife ain't got no kid yet she is disposable right ? You see this kinda suggestion coming from an exposed and educated fellow is just traumatising.
Op is a pest in that mans home and she adequately needs to be isolated, quaratined and fumigated.
SIMPLES.

oga coogar, its only a fishy brain woman that will melt seeing her Ex lover, so many women dont know what they want, i wil never allow any ex lover becoming a friend 2 my wife, never, except she wants problem in d house, only God knows when these ladies wil wake up, its just all about sex, that what a man thinks abt, may be this one rib thing is what is causing the fish brain mentality i dont knw. what is d assurrance that d Op wil nt sleep wit this guy even when she is married 2 someone else.

In fact i have to modify my post because the guy is probably anti-condom, in addition to everything else i noticed.

Wbb

Guitarlife: Okay, I'm sorry dude for the outburst but this your premise makes a comedy of the marriage vows. Don't they count for anything again ? I don't get it. If OP is still in the forefront of those who has express right to that guy then where does the rightful wife stand.

sadly, the "rightful" wife is the fall-guy in this case. she was never loved - she was just the available babe used to spite the op! men do this a lot.....the moment they break up with a babe, they are already digging another to spite the ex....girls who allow themselves to be used as a second fiddle should have themselves to blame!

So becos the legitimate wife ain't got no kid yet she is disposable right ? You see this kinda suggestion coming from an exposed and educated fellow is just traumatising.

even if she has 20 kids, she was never loved - she was just an experiment to spite the op!
lessons have been learnt by both parties now and they want to get back together....too bad for the rightful wife. she took someone else's man in the first instance! the question begs: why would any woman marry a babyfather and not expect this type of situation to develop? marrying a widower is a better option!

Op is a pest in that mans home and she adequately needs to be isolated, quaratined and fumigated.
SIMPLES.

lmao @ op is a pest!
there's a kid attached and as long as that son lives - the op and her ex would always be together. shyte is yet to even hit the fan......let the son start school with pta meetings, children events, etc that is when you would know women who marry babyfathers open themselves to fat risks!

bjcole: oga coogar, its only a fishy brain woman that will melt seeing her Ex lover, so many women dont know what they want, i wil never allow any ex lover becoming a friend 2 my wife, never, except she wants problem in d house, only God knows when these ladies wil wake up, its just all about sex, that what a man thinks abt, may be this one rib thing is what is causing the fish brain mentality i dont knw. what is d assurrance that d Op wil nt sleep wit this guy even when she is married 2 someone else.

if you marry a babymomma - her ex(the father of the child) would always come around - and there's nothing you can do about it! did you just say sex is what all men think about?

coogar:
.....let the son start school with pta meetings, children events, etc that is when you would know women who marry babyfathers open themselves to fat risks!

Words on the marble I'd say. But, what should women do. We all know there is not enough men to go round ?

...

There are enough men to go around but maybe not enough marriageable men to go around.

Guitarlife: Words on the marble I'd say. But, what should women do. We all know there is not enough men to go round ?

they should always insist on condoms.....or abstain from sex like my tpia.....tpia and i have been dating for a decade now: no sex! every of my advances have been resisted by her....that's the only solution. the ones who have already fallen to that pit should take heart!

chaircover: coogar for all we know the wife at home may not even know that he man has a baby momma or kid.

ignorance is not an excuse in court! women shouldn't just jump into marriage and take what men say. whose fault is it that she didn't do her due diligence to dig the history of the man she married?

Some men are very good at hiding things like this if they want and he wont be the first to do this.

some women are very good at hiding things too....
so many of them especially in this london left babies in naija and they are still wearing miniskirts n doing tattoos hoping to nail oblivious gullible men. the moral of the story is - find out about your spouse before you walk the aisle!

OP,
If you like, open your thing for the mumu again. Let him deposit 2 and 3 and then go and give wifey 1,2,3. Na today? The problem is yours will be illegitimate while his will be legal. You shortchanged yourself by not getting married to him if that was so important to you. You have a kid for him, that means what exactly? Omo don't dull o, he kept his wedding and engagement from you. Wedding and engagement if in the naija context is not a small deal. Odds are what he is doing with you is a secret too. Anyway, na you get your life. Give yourself brain and RUN, time waits for no man. People never learn from Tuface, you have kids for a man means nada. Matter of fact, the more kids out of wedlock the more likely you would be left holding the bag. . He won't leave his wife, wanna bet? When she has 1child he will disappear.

Coogar you really are a phenomenom. You mean the legitimate wife is at fault while this 'funky' (for want of better words) poster is a saint ? There is no doubt about it, you must be one of the top contenders for the first black Mister bean character.
And thank you baby123, you just saved my life.

tpia1: There are enough men to go around but maybe not enough marriageable men to go around.

define marriageable...

Guitarlife: Coogar you really are a phenomenom. You mean the legitimate wife is at fault while this 'funky' (for want of better words) poster is a saint ? There is no doubt about it, you must be one of the top contenders for the first black Mister bean character.
And thank you baby123, you just saved my life.

she's not a saint - she admitted that in her opening post -something that is very rare in this section so she's honest! the legitimate wife is not necessarily at fault - she's just the fall guy. there's an african adage that says the grass bears the brunt when 2 angry elephants fight! the wife is the grass.

@

@

Guitarlife: Coogar you really are a phenomenom. You mean the legitimate wife is at fault while this 'funky' (for want of better words) poster is a saint ? There is no doubt about it, you must be one of the top contenders for the first black Mister bean character.
And thank you baby123, you just saved my life.

Don't mind her, her eye never clear. She will soon hear that wifey has 5kids ready to knock her son out when the time for property comes. But all through that time she will be listening to stories about "oh, my wife is a witch she jazzed me, its you I love" (wifey will drop 2). "Oh my wife smells I don't even sleep with her again"(wifey will drop another 2). "Oh, I don't think those kids are mine don't mind her, we are getting divorced"(another3). Lol. Like I said, she's got hee life to live.

chaircover:
neither is deliberately withholding such important information - my gut feeling tells me this man and his wife are at loggerheads is because wifey found about about the baby & baby momma.

people would forever keep secrets of their dark patches.....that's a natural phenomenon. if i go on to make a whöre a housewife then the blame is on my wife? of course, she knows if she told me such there's a tendency i would not marry her - and that's life for you!

Easier for a man to hide a baby momma than it is for a woman to hide a baby

fair enough but still - every woman should dig the history of her spouse.....same applies to men. it's a competitive world out there and no one wants to be left out. prostitutës would mask themselves like nuns. drug addicts would pretend to be gentlemen...

Annie1:


Thank you for the advice , I know it sounds typical , but it's not the typical man leaves woman n want to get back story

I actually left him , I've not told u all the full story .. I cheated on him (covers face) , not physically but emotionally , I was chatting with this dude at work ( it wasn't explicit stuffs but more romantic ( if u didn't have a boyfriend , I would love u to be mine n i fed into it )

Me Ex read all the text message n e confronted me , and did I apologise ? No ! I said well I didn't physically cheat , so what the biggie ... My arrogance was beyond level and he still stayed , but obviously we started arguing ( unknown to me , I was pregnant ) , when I realise I was , my first reaction was to get rid of it , but I couldn't , cos I knew it was a bigger sin .. And he actually proposed to me , gave me a ring , we started planning a quick simple wedding , but the argument didn't stop , so what did I do , I composed a long letter n told him , it's best we break up despite expecting a child ( stupid me , I thought it will making him stop arguing with me n actually start over pampering me ) .. Oh I was so naive ! Even when I realised it had backfired , should I have stopped and begged ? No I didn't ..

Agreed he wasn't a saint , but I was mean n vicious with my words , now I look back n say , who was that lady ?

Honestly , it was more of a reality check , because if that didn't happen , I will still be a monster

I'm not excusing him for leaving me though , he probably should have tried harder ...or Not .. Hmmm

Immature games, games, games and more games.

They're both as bad as each other.

I bet Annie knows the reason behind her ex's separation from his wife. She needs to throw further light on this story...

Efemena_xy:

Immature games, games, games and more games.

They're both as bad as each other.

I bet Annie knows the reason behind her ex's separation from his wife. She needs to throw further light on this story...

Efe abeg leave matter for martha jare. You no see say OP don run away. As we ever dependable detective don beam light for her nyansh now she don run comot.
This is just too obvious , OP only needs people to help her go about smearing her conciense with a hot iron so she can set about her infamous mission of tearing a happy family apart.
OP, I say shame on you *claps over her head*

^^ Abeg modify your last sentence jor!

You be woman? Why you wan clap over her head like that?

Efemena_xy: Immature games, games games.
They're both as bad as each other.
I bet Annie knows the reason behind her ex's separation from his wife. She needs to throw further light on this story...

she's probably casting a spell on them.......
you know - voodoo dolls, pins and fasteners!

efe - you should be working for efcc/sss in nigeria!

coogar:

she's probably casting a spell on them.......
you know - voodoo dolls, pins and fasteners!

efe - you should be working for efcc/sss in nigeria!

Thanks, but no thanks!

Efemena_xy: ^^ Abeg modify your last sentence jor!

You be woman? Why you wan clap over her head like that?

A dose of melodrama wouldn't hurt would it ? Infact it's significant in order to drive home the point. *gives her an empty tin of bournvita and a stone* here you can beat that so you won't be left out.

There is a kid between both of you right? Ask him for upkeep or to increase what he is currently paying and see if he will come near you.

Girl, shine ya eyes and don't allow him eat cakes from both side.

@ Coogar .. Thank you so much , u put a big smile on my face. Thank you

To the ppl that , that have called me names .aka fish brains , hmmmmm if only u knew

No , i havent slept With him and I'm not trying to break up their home ..if I was , I won't have started this thread

I m very sure the wife knows about his son , he calls him most evenings to speak to him, even before he got married . He skypes him , when he's out of town , he set up a monthly direct debit , I really don't think he's trying to hide anything .. But then who knows

Annie1: @ Coogar .. Thank you so much , u put a big smile on my face. Thank you

To the ppl that , that have called me names .aka fish brains , hmmmmm if only u knew

No , i havent slept With him and I'm not trying to break up their home ..if I was , I won't have started this thread

I m very sure the wife knows about his son , he calls him most evenings to speak to him, even before he got married . He skypes him , when he's out of town , he set up a monthly direct debit , I really don't think he's trying to hide anything .. But then who knows

Heheheee you sef go fear nah. After e don use you shine finish you go talk say dem warn you for NL.
The man obviously has no values, he has no ethics, his moral sense of responsibility is nill. How can a man be asking another woman to warm his bed a year into his marriage when he should still be in honeymoon ?
He obviously does not have respect for the institution of marriage, he is depraved.
The fact that you are attracted to such a skunk shows just how deficient your value system is. Well, marry him. You both deserve each other.

Guitarlife:
Heheheee you sef go fear nah. After e don use you shine finish you go talk say dem warn you for NL.
The man obviously has no values, he has no ethics, his moral sense of responsibility is nill. How can a man be asking another woman to warm his bed a year into his marriage when he should still be in honeymoon ?
He obviously does not have respect for the institution of marriage, he is depraved.
The fact that you are attracted to such a skunk shows just how deficient your value system is. Well, marry him. You both deserve each other.

you are taking this rather too personal - why are you so passionate about this story? look around you, this shyte happens all the time! the institution of marriage has been devalued many many moons ago......it's just a piece of paper these days! it's not the op's fault her ex wants to get back with her....

Annie1: @ Coogar .. Thank you so much , u put a big smile on my face. Thank you

To the ppl that , that have called me names .aka fish brains , hmmmmm if only u knew

No , i havent slept With him and I'm not trying to break up their home ..if I was , I won't have started this thread

I m very sure the wife knows about his son , he calls him most evenings to speak to him, even before he got married . He skypes him , when he's out of town , he set up a monthly direct debit , I really don't think he's trying to hide anything .. But then who knows

don't mind the fish-brains brigade.......
it's the way we roll here......batter the posters that are honest enough to admit their guilt and sympathise with the ones who come here to lie!

test your ex's loyalty - if he passes the acid tests and he goes ahead to divorce his wife, kindly take the offer for the sake of your child. kids are more balanced with 2 parents in their lives......

@OP
You are a woman just like his wife. Never and I repeat never tell him to go get a divorce. If he wants a divorce, he knows how to go about it. Do not get involved.

May it not be recorded in a book one day that you asked a married man to divorce his wife. As a Christian, I am against such. He is asking you to give him the go ahead do not give it to him. He has to be responsible for his own actions and make his own decision.

Listen, your ex is scared of ending up alone. A man who really wants to divorce his wife will do so because he has to for reasons best known to them and not because You told him to. He wants to eat his cake and have it and its so unfair. Look at him trying to secure a woman before divorcing his wife that is why he is waiting for your go ahead.

Stay away from a married man. You have a child. The life I live, I live for God, myself and my kids. The lives my parents live they did for us lest we suffer for their own sins. You have a child, do not rope him into this and if you were my sister, I would be very cross with you.

You are not the first to have a child out of wedlock and you will not be the last. You MUST not marry your baby daddy. Stay away from that married man and this coming from a married woman

The biggest mistake you will make is marry for the sake of your child. Don't ever make that mistake, marry because you are ready for it, get married because you can handle the challenges that comes with marriage physically mentally emotionally and what not. Marry because you really love the man, no child should grow up in a home where mum and dad despise each other. No child should grow up in a home where peace is lacking. A child deserves a home filled with love and affection.

Marry because you see the person worthy enough to be a father to your child. Your child cannot make that decision for you, you've got to make it for you and your son

I wish you all the best.

debrief08: Okay, more complicated than I imagined, hmmmm, I feel sorry for the poor woman you people brought into this mess.
Talk to him. Sort your selves out, act like adults in future, stop being childish and expecting begging. I am just sorry for the lady caught in the middle, [b]he just married her to piss you off for pissing on him. You both gr[/b]ow uo

Aiyaiya!!! Debrief you are too much! Muah muah muah ....that's the cut short story...poor woman in the middle but who knows ? It might be karma for her too.... Orisirisi!!! Mind games!!

Annie1: My baby daddy more like .

We broke up 3 yrs ago ( my fault) , we have a beautiful 3 yr old son that has been a constant source of joy to both of us .

We were constantly at each others throat when we broke up , but we agreed to get along for our boy sake . To cut long story short , he got married last year June , to say I was stunned is an understatement , but then I didn't make any effort to get back with him all thru , so I had no one to blame but me

Last month , he started getting very friendly , sending funny jokes , reminding me of some funny stuffs we did when we were together , I didn't really think much about it , but it became frequent .. And we just started chatting like old days ,one day he came to see his boy , I was in the kitchen n he pulled me n kissed me ( I'm blushing even saying this ) .. Anyhow , I pushed him away ( after a brief kiss) n I asked what about his wife ? .. He said they were separated . It just wasnt working ..

I asked y did he rush into it ? , if it was not solid ! cos it's was too soon to break up . He said he was at that point in his life where he wanted to settle down and I didn't give any inkling I still liked him , I was wrong n I didn't even apologise or act like I cared ( which is true).. But now he wants us back n as a family ..

The dilemma now is , is it right for me to go back ? One he still married n I feel marriage should hold more weight than a baby mama , but friends r like , didn't she know he had a child before getting involved . .. And my child should be my main focus , to raise him up as a family

I want that , but is it right ?

This is a good example of why mothers of Africa(blacks especially) need to wake up and start teaching their daughters right.

How can any sane individual, raised well by a good mother, post this nonsense? How can any self-respecting individual even consider getting back with someone who is ALREADY MARRIED AND MOVED ON? How can someone be so brainless, and so wicked at the same time, as to consider getting back with someone who dumped her like a piece of dirty rag, went as far as to get married, and now pretends she is the only reason he has to contemplate divorce from a marriage that is not even **3 days old?

For all you women who think men get married to get back at you, I say you get off that space dust you are on. No man goes to marry another woman to piss you off. Mentality stable Women don't do it so why would a mentally stable man do it?

@kobo you sounded bery judgmental and very sure of what you are talking about....first of all ..do you know how she was raised? second of all.... he did not dump her...these two idiots are in love, still in love and always in love...I am sorry for the lady caught in this web(who know what she has done in the past...what you sow you reap my people say))

but let all of una just be honest ...I know this is a family forum and everybody is on the married side cos thats the right thing to do blah blah BUT OP is human too...sorry it is what it is...I'd say go get your man and its your choice...My 2cents...Be sure! I repeat be sure the divorce is final before you take this to the next level.

I know some people will be very disappointed with this post BUT I am just being realistic!

Some people just need to CHILL!! Like for real!! Give her a break joor