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The Preacher's Son!!! - Literature (82) - Nairaland

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The Preacher's Son III: Diary Of A Player / The Preacher's Son II: The Other Side Of Life!!! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by skyscraperTM(m): 12:18pm On Oct 13, 2013
The rock5555:

Sorry, d change topic button is refusing to work on my phone, pls can you test the un-follow button on yours. Thank u

sαrcαsm¡
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by VickieZion(f): 12:40pm On Oct 13, 2013
happy Sunday Y'all on dis thread. Rock we're waiting.....grin
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Spactacle(m): 1:17pm On Oct 13, 2013
Happy Sunday to all da preacher's son family....both home and abroad,,,,,
Oga rock me no wan any post oo....
Wetin me need na your steady update cos uve got me glued to ya thread...
But sha ave ah want make me we talk for whatsapp...
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Therock5555(m): 3:40pm On Oct 13, 2013
WISE MEN
*********
"Helloooo, who is this?"

I shouted when specimen 2 called back, we had started trekking back home when the call came in, i looked at the screen and saw specimen 2 so i knew it was mine, i gave it to Solomon but he gave me back to answer and denial knowing her.

"Is your babe na, you told me to wait in Makarfa park for you and you did not come again? Why did you do that?" she asked, her sweet voice suddenly became croak like that of a frog, i guess its how you see someone that you rate him or her.

"Ehm, sorry, this is wrong number" i said.

"Uduak, you are mad, do you think you can disappoint me and run like that, i had set alot of things for us to do today and you refuse coming, i even rented a guest room for our later activities, i would have spoiled you good today, am disappointed" she said.

Ehh, room keh, this woman no well, so she wan use opiako kill small pickin like me, with all those how muscler body am not sure i would have survived it or so i thought.

"Ma,i be small boy, i no big, i dey short and very ugllllyyy", i stressed that part, but her reply shocked me.

"I dont mind that you are short, short men have larger diccks and stamina so please can you come there now, i would still be waiting" she urged.

"No ma, i no want again, thank you"

"Dont you even try it, because i would find you, i know you are in Northbank so dont even bother running from me" she threatened.

"Ma, na by force?"

"Yes, its by force" she said as the line went dead.

"Solomon na how those babes take know we dey Northbank?"

"Ehm, na mistake i do, i think say dem go dey fine" he aplogise.

If not that his blow was as painful as an elephant onw, i would have called him a mad man, like i have ever felt an elephant blow or so i thought. I told him all what the woman said but he laughed it off and told me not to worry.

"What is she be obanje?" i asked fearfully.

"Den your own don finish be that" he said nonchalantly.

"I dey respect you but you dey mad, infact we no go enter bus again, we must trekk till we reach North bank" i shouted at him but he just laughed loud and compound my miseries.

We walked till we reach the old bridge only to see a large crowd of people looking down into the water, our curiousity made us also go to look, what we saw suprised us.

The was a huge hippotamus swimming with two of its children, lots of camera were flahing and even the men of the Nigerian Television Authorities were filming evrything.

I was dragging Solomon lets go but he was going nearer to the NTA staffs because a female journalist was inyerviewing people, Solomon who was escaping from an ugly girl was already timing the journalist.

Before i could stop Solomon he had walked to the girls's side and she turned the mic on him and started interviewing him, damn the camera was also on him, the only thought that was on my mind was 7pm news.

"Guy, you don kill us" i said while we were leaving.

"How i take kill you, i get the girl number self, extra cool go suffer this night" he said foolishly.

"You no well, you know say pastor James like to dey watch 7.oclock news abi? Him go see you be that, and we don die since you say you dey go church programme, abi our church na for old bridge?" i said.

"Yeah, i be mumu o, so how we go do am now?" he asked, i was glad he finally agreed that he was truly mumu, i made it a point of deal not to name my child solomon in the future.

"Na to reach home sharp sharp before news start be that o" i said as we began jogging heavily home.

We reached there and was about entering when we percieved a stinking smell, i looked in time and dodged a big chunk of cement from a mad man, we quickly ran back. A mad man had taken refugge in our front door, there was no where we could enter without getting stoned.

"Yeah we don die, na how we go take enter house now?" i looked at Solomon who had suddenly developed brain tumor, he had no idea.

"Yeah, i get idea, i shouted and wispered in his ears of our plan. I left the dangerous plan for him to handle as we set to process our plan.

His was to steal the mad man sack of dirt while i sneak in to stop the news which was just 5minutes away. So we started.

To be continued...

Something is going to happen, are going to succed or not, are we going to be exposed, while the huge sugar mummy of mine catch up with me, watch out in the next update.

Sorry for the delaied update, na sunday yawo cause amgrin

1 Like

Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Spactacle(m): 4:04pm On Oct 13, 2013
Hmmmm,,,,dis wan wen u come leave Solomon make him tackle d madman by himself hope say dem no go fight ba?,,anyway ,i hope say una plan go work sha......

More******in oliva twist voice*******more****more
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Winnie1950(f): 4:23pm On Oct 13, 2013
Im be like say that your sugar mummy na ogbanje o. You don enter trouble, i pray make this one go expose you
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Therock5555(m): 6:09pm On Oct 13, 2013
Typing...
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by SexySapphire(f): 6:18pm On Oct 13, 2013
Kip up the good work. Still u rock
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Spactacle(m): 7:17pm On Oct 13, 2013
The rock5555: Typing...

waiting!!!!!
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Joizy(f): 7:21pm On Oct 13, 2013
Danpersie31:
@joizy no o.I no join o.They are my frnds,i refused 2join lyk rock did,bt 2 prevent mysef 4rm being called a 48,i was tot sumtinz 2 save me in times of trouble.
@rock,i hear say u dn dey cap as anoda man ba.Dnt impersonate o because in d book of odin"all impersonator must b thrown overboard 2 b feed 2d crocodiles".Xo abeg no cap o.Even me dat iz writing my 1st novel wit their slangs i dey fear o,cos i dnt want2 b drilled.
k na
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Therock5555(m): 7:47pm On Oct 13, 2013
WISE MEN 2
***********
"Guy the plan be say you go run jack this mad man bag make him pursue you den me i go follow the other side enter then off the control" i told Solomon what i thought.

"Nawao, for you, so na me you want make i die abi?"

"Why not, no be you cause all this kasala by now i for dey house dey sleep, oya do fast abeg e reamin one minute o" i said as i checked my time.

Solomon walked slowly to the man's side while i went to the other side when i reached i wistled for him to continue with his plan, i saw his shadow as he bent to the man's side, he was saying some gibbrish which made sense to him alone.

Suddenly Solomon grabbed his dirt sack but instead of running with the sack he threw it at my direction instead, the mad man shouted at his sack and began chasing me with all his might, i took to my heels while the man chased me.

He took his sack but the man was hell bent on making me pay for my crimes, i manurvured my way into a crowdy area and he left me alone.

I ran back through another road only to see Solomon waiting downstairs for me, only our house had no power supply in that area. He had put off the control meter.

"Guy na why you do me like this na? See as i don run tire"

"Haa, abeg Uduak no be my fault o, as i carry the bag the smel nearly choke me so i trowey am for you, na fear o" he explained.

"Oya wait here i dey come, no one this switch yet make i sneak up" i told him and began moving upstairs.

I bent down and crawled to my room and quickly changed my clothes then came back to the palour, suprise was written on everyone's face as the light came on.

"Uduak where are you coming from?" My mother enquired.

"Haa, mummy,i dey since na, i was sleeping self" i lied.

"So what of Solomon, where is he?" Pastor James fired.

"Ehm, he said flu was catching him so he went to buy tom tom" i lied again.

"Ow, ok, do you know they were about giving news of how hippotamus was seen in river Benue today before Nepa took the light, now we have missed" he said sadly.

"Ow, nawao, hippo for water, how wish i been dey there, Nepa na bas tards" i cursed.

Solomon came in with enough sweet to make my night food, his sharp ears really caught my lie, he was a wsie man afterall.

When i prayed finished and was about sleeping my phone began ringing, i just picked it without looking at it and said Helo.
"Helo darling" the voice said.

"Helo babe, how are you, am missing you o" i said.

"So you were missing me and you refused to come meet me at Makarfa abi, or are you testing my emotions" the voice said again.

I quickly looked at the caller and saw Specimen 2, yeah, i jumped up from the bed and started sweating heavily.

"I think i said i dont want you again, leave me na, you be witch?" i shouted.

"Witch uh, you did not know you were talking to witch since, its just now isnt it, am waiting for you outside now" she said firmly.

"Jesus" came out f my mouth as i scrambbled to the window and saw someone in white standing downstairs in front of the main road.

"Yeah,Solomon, i don die, obanje don catch me, see wetin you make me do, i no wan be player again o, i no wan die, na wetin i go do na?"

"Go meet her na, i tink say you be master fuccker, oya go prove yourself" he said and lied down.

I felt like slapping the shit out of his face that moment, i ran back to the window and the white clothed figure still stood there, my heart beat increased as i quickly jumped into the room, grab my bible and began my first personal night vigil/prayer programme.

Uduak Peter aka the troublemaker turned to christian one night because of an Obanje or so i thought.

To Be Continued...

2 Likes

Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Nobody: 7:56pm On Oct 13, 2013
Uduak the evangelist! Lmao grin grin grin
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by captainsinzu(m): 8:16pm On Oct 13, 2013
Lwkm....so d gal na witch...I feel ur fear bruv....
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Spactacle(m): 8:27pm On Oct 13, 2013
See wetin xtracool cause...u go scope witch.witch come love you...
Now witch don come make u bleep her and u come dey deny her even come turn Strong man of God for one night......na wa for u and dis witch oo,,,and d Solomon self no even send u...lols
*my advice to u isssss*****to be continue:: tongue
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by VickieZion(f): 8:29pm On Oct 13, 2013
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahaha
wetin girl no go make U do 4 dis ur lyf eh bt lyk seriously dis update's short
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by kingphilip(m): 8:31pm On Oct 13, 2013
U no complete this update o oga Rock....shey u say we go knw weda she catch up wit u or not for dis update wey jst pass but e no de
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Therock5555(m): 8:38pm On Oct 13, 2013
I be wan go sleep but una comments dey make me laf like mumu like say no be my story again. Cus of that i go break my sunday rule and hammer una one update againgrin
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by kingphilip(m): 8:42pm On Oct 13, 2013
The rock5555: I be wan go sleep but una comments dey make me laf like mumu like say no be my story again. Cus of that i go break my sunday rule and hammer una one update againgrin
k we de wait jare
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Spactacle(m): 8:54pm On Oct 13, 2013
The rock5555: I be wan go sleep but una comments dey make me laf like mumu like say no be my story again. Cus of that i go break my sunday rule and hammer una one update againgrin

na wetin ah wan hear be dat...


We dey wait oo
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Wizdray: 8:56pm On Oct 13, 2013
Lwkd!!! Preacher's s0n scared of witch
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Daniel2802(m): 8:58pm On Oct 13, 2013
Waiting.......
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by skyscraperTM(m): 9:00pm On Oct 13, 2013
[size=15pt]λη∂ the λ‏∂‏veηtυre coηtiηυes!!‏[/size] cool

-o∂υηaγo™
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by lolabridget(f): 9:08pm On Oct 13, 2013
Trouble sleep yanga go wake am
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by captainsinzu(m): 9:27pm On Oct 13, 2013
Naso correct man!!!
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by trendiitee(f): 9:35pm On Oct 13, 2013
Hahahahaha...laffin S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ loud....naso ogbanje trouble slip and uduak yanga go wake am...God no go answer ur prayer IJN tongue
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by s3nn2x(m): 10:18pm On Oct 13, 2013
The last post was really funny and soooo scary! O'boi you dey fear me ooo. When I born, I hope say my pickin no go stubborn like you sha.
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Therock5555(m): 10:57pm On Oct 13, 2013
DEDICATED TO TRENDII TEE

PRAYER WARRIOR
****************
I ran to the room to go grab my big goodnews bible which i rarely use except during devotions and church service, this time i used it by force, Solomon was busy chatting away with his new found journalist girl, he was bragging how his father saw him and TV and made him promise to marry the girl, that he was going to take her abroad, etc.

I wondered if the guy was using jazz or his own mouth was coated with sugar, the girl he disappionted at Makarfa called him to find out why he did not come and he gave her the same wrong number excuse i used, she insulted him all kind of insults before offing her phone. I dont know why my case would be different.

Maybe my sins had pile up too much and was blocking God's view so he sent angel Micheal to dash me one wahala as my punishment.

I looked at the time it was 12:45am,the person was still standing outside, my mind told me to wait, even if my prayer would not drive it, cold definetly would. So i set to my prayers.

I asked God to forgive my sins even the one i did not remember commiting i also prayed, i bind the person in white but it was like Devil was mocking my prayer.

1:30am and the person was still standing there without moving, i continued my prayer till sleep finally overcome me.

"Uduak, wetin be this one again, abi high fever don start?" my mother asked.

"Ooo, mummy na, person no fit do vigil again" i said.

"You vigil, abeg make una wake up come see my son don turn to pastor, him dey even do vigil sef, thank you Jesus" she exclaimed as my sisters ran out to see what their eyes had never seen before.

I went inside to drop my bible when i saw Solomon still snoring because of his late night slumber, then i remembered my lady in white, i ran to the window to go see how my prayer went, there i saw a very crude joke.

Suddenly my phone began rining, it was Specimen 2, one mind said i should throw the phone or put it off but i choosed to answer it but not after praying my last prayer and rubbing anoiting oil on the phone. I picked the phone and allowed the caller speak first.

"Peter are you there?" the voice said after she was tired of my silence.

"Em, wetin, i dey here" i replied rudely even though i was still shaking.

"Am sorry for what i did, i was not suppose to talk that way, its just that am desperate to have you, do you know i have not been laid for about six months now, my legs burned when i heard your voice on the phone, i was expecting you to fufil my innermost desires, please give me a chance, i would spoil you with enough money, what do you say" she said.

"Wow" came out of my mouth.

"What do you mean by wow" she countered back.

"Sorry ma, i dont want a sugar mummy" i said and cut the line then switch it off before she begins to threaten me again.

Truth was i loved the offer of money but one round of sex with that muscle full woman could rip my JT apart, maybe na my dead body sef they for carry come back or so i thought.

I put on the phone and flashed Anita immediately she called back for our morning jist, after about twenty minutes she broke what was on her mind.

"Uduak would you do me a favour?" she asked.

Not again, i hope its not another supermarket runs because i was tired of going were people were just throwing away their money without bargainig for goods, i hated Econs sha but that did not stop me from likeing bargaining but a lover boy had no choice.

"Anything for you babe" i said non chalantly.

"Would you go out on a date with me?" she asked kind of fearfully.

Ah tankGod its not supermarket but when we went on a date last to Mount saint Gabriel school i almost died so i had to be careful where i went to with Anita.

"So where is the place?" i asked.

"Mr Biggs, so are you in?" she said in a baby voice.

"Yes baby, just come to my house i would go with you" i said happily while dancing Makossa joyfully.

She was happy and gave me time that she would be coming. I was not happy because i had never entered mr Biggs, atleast not Makurdi own sha, i did enter in Jos but i did not have cash which i could use for playstation to go eat a plate of rice i could cook with half the amount i would pay there. Free food on my mind.

I turned to look at the window again to see what had made me do night vigil.

"Uduak you foolish o, so na wetin you been dey fear be that" Solomon laughed at me.

My so-called ghost was a dirty white gown which the useless mad man who chased me across the street was wearing. He had slept outside there while i was praying and meditating for the fake obanje spirit to disappear.

Foolish me or so i thought i laughed at my stupidity. Whats left now was my date with Anita

To Be Continued...

Goodnite all of una...

2 Likes

Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by trendiitee(f): 11:10pm On Oct 13, 2013
Imagine ooo na because ☀̤̣̈̇f mad man cloth u turn †̥̥☺ revrend peter..SMH
BTW tanx 4 dedicatin dat 1 †̥̥☺ M̶̲̅ε̲̣̣̣̥....Gudnyt cool
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by lekinz(m): 1:06am On Oct 14, 2013
ha!!!....Ave missed alot oooo...

well done man
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by VickieZion(f): 5:39am On Oct 14, 2013
Uduak so its because of d madman's cloth U turn pastor,@least I tnk GOD 4 ur lyf sey U repent small.
Gudmorning Y'all in d Preacher's son family.
Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by Therock5555(m): 6:21am On Oct 14, 2013
AJEBO VS KPACO
**************
The last time i tasted Mr Biggs product was when my kid sister was taken there by a church member of ours. She came back with a cup of ice cream, something like paper filled her ice cream so we ask her what was wrong she said that was how they bought it.

After licking and chewing the ice cream with the paper object, the person that took her to Mr Biggs told us how she removed her container label and used it to decorate her cup of ice cream.

"Victory!!! So you come give us paper chop abi? Make we catch you first" i screamed.

"Did you people eat it like that?" the visitor asked.

"No sir, we selected it out"my sister quickly said.

If only the visitor knew how we licked the ice cream and shared the paper like how we share meat, he would have fainted...

"Rrrrrrrrgggg" my chinese phone vibrated.

I quickly picked it up and check the caller very well before i answer another problematic call again, it was Anita who imformed me she was already downstairs, now what was left for me was to make my mother allow me go out.

I was about sneaking out when my kid sister suddenly came out and screamed when she saw me.

"Uduak were you dey go, see as you dress fine"

"See better shut up before i break your teeth o" i threatened.

"Ok na,i dey go tell mummy" she said while walking away.

"Ok, stop jor, abeg no tell i go give you ten naira"

"Eh ten naira, no give me 100naira or i go tell" she said.

"What, 100ghini for wetin, she children of now our days, when i was her age i was not concerned about cash but here was a primary school girl trying to milk my pocket.

We bargain till she finally agreed 40naira, i paid her reluctantly and told her to tell anyone that looked for me that i went to church.

"Ok na, no yawa, na me be the oga now" she said cheerfully after making easy 40naira through blackmail.

Anita was dressed to kill, i wondered if the girl was trying to show she was a rich girl but actually it was too much, she had high heel shoes which made me look like her son, if someone saw us on the road they would have thought i was her body guard.

I was just feeling over the moon and winking at everyone that looked at us, Anita held my hands till we entered bus, passengers eyes was not even affecting me, i was on excitement mood.

We reach Mr Biggs and i took a deep breath before climbing up the stairs, i strecthed my hands to open the door but it gave way itself,i was like wow but i turned back to see two guards opening the door, mtcheww foolish me.

We sat at the table as she beackoned on a waiter who brought our sulmountious meal, it was tantalizing, salad, fried rice and chicken lap.

"Obooy yeah" i said under my breath when a container of Galive was added to the table, i began rubbing my palms like tom and jerry in anticipation of what to eat next.

I controlled myself and waited as she began eating i just stared at her like a zombie, i was allowing her to eat alot before i pursue her because man must wack dont joke with food and i did not want to eat finish before her.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked smiling cheekily.

She was expecting me to say, em its because you are too beautiful, but am sorry to say this, am not romantic at all, am still learning sha.

"Em, sorry i wont look again" i said as i began plunging my rice with that their stupid fork which refuse to fetch alot.

She was dissapointed at my answer but continued hers while looking at me instead, she was waiting let me ask her my own question but man must wack dont have time for naija film style or so i thought.

A munch my rice like a terrorist and began nakkeding my lap of chicken, suddenly i forgot i was in an eatry, i cracked the bone.

The whole place became silent like a grave yard, people were turning to see if it was gun someone cracked, me too i pretended and look around. Anita was almost choking with laughter because she knew i was cuprit.

I munched my remaining meat and then look at the bones miserably, for me it was watse of money because my teeth needed excersise or so i thought.

A dude walked to our table and sat down.

"Helo baby" he touched Anita's arm.

I was mad at him but his bodyguards at the back of him made me silent. The look Anita gave him could put a goat underground, she was visibly angry.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Em, am called prince, i saw you seating with this ugly looking boy so i said i should come take you to my table let me spoil you" he bragged.

"You must be out of your mind, do you think he dont have money, infact he is the one that bought all this things for me" she said.

Yeah this girl done open my yansh, na how i go take pay if waiter come now, i began sweating.

"Oh, is that so, ok let me see what he's gat, maybe he is small but mighty, am going to call the waiter now" he said i turned around.

"Waiter, come and get your cash" he shouted.

All eyes was on me i was sweating, n50 was in my pocket..

TBC

3 Likes

Re: The Preacher's Son!!! by kingphilip(m): 7:11am On Oct 14, 2013
So u neva finish devotion abi

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