.

Are you looking for a way to dump her now that you have a job?

This is a non-issue IMHO.

Kulyie, that epistle long now I'm doing some drills today, now you added cluster to my day
do you actually believe the story for that matter .
Please let's play along.

Bros na Onila be that? Our very own resident virgin

armyofone: Kulyie, that epistle long now I'm doing some drills today, now you added cluster to my day
do you actually believe the story for that matter .
Please let's play along.

ok na

.

lola.luv:
Are you looking for a way to dump her now that you have a job?

This is a non-issue IMHO.

You know, now that you mentioned it, I think I agree with you. Guess OP suddenly feels they are not on the same level cos he got a job hence looking for every reason to bail.

.

maybe looking for ways to yab female students.

Phema:

You know, now that you mentioned it, I think I agree with you. Guess OP suddenly feels they are not on the same level cos he got a job hence looking for every reason to bail.

HotNaijaBabe:


. Nah! Op is just making a mountain out of a Mole hill. Wonder why he can't just talk to his girlfriend instead of coming here to post all these.

This thread smells of 10naira notes.

Stingy ppl everywia.

Hitting my back button

Phema:

May my God in heaven embarass you with many blessings!!!

Now Op, you wanted a "traditional" lady (as you mentioned in your first post) and you got one, now be a "traditional" man and do the needful! You think say to be man na beans?

Why on earth are you whining? If a girl is independent and refuses to cook, clean and wash for you, you say she is a feminist and not a wife material. Now she is being a "lady" and you are bitching about.

Relationship is not by force! You are a student, face your studies! When you "man up" you hook up, SIMPLE!

....i honestly couldnt fathom why he was getting so hot under the collar.A 26year old masters holder dating a poor 20year old student,what did he expect??....i know that girls can be overly materialistic and thats wrong..but common the whining on the part of this dude is pathetic!!... this girl can barely make ends meet and needs help financially as a student. The fact that she's still a virgin and have not messed herself up with other guys in exchange for money is clearly lost on this dude...the most unsettling thing is the way he ran to Nairaland screaming blue murder!......anyway he has gotten a job now so i guess level has changed...time to move to 'classier' chicks i suppose...smh!

@ OP

No mind all these babes screaming stingy, etc.

If you don't want to spend; you either go for the ones who don't need your money...or position yourself as someone who is not a patron. You are not her father.

On another note, 'virgin' no be bargaining chip. Don't let it cloud your judgement. A 20 year-old babe is still very fickle-minded and barely knows what she wants in men. Me thinks this your all-serious, marriage-marriage stuff is a little bit too early in her life.

And finally, don't be surprised that when you finally do decide to 'enter the place', that you will hear stories of them shoot bird im mama fly. Or how she rode horses or ran cross-country marathons...or was raped yesterday. I'd strongly advice that you give zero ratings to anyone's virginity status and screen based on other more important criteria.

Kai,see naija babes dey vex 4 this thread;poverty is really in nigeria.
@op,d "my mom told me to look for the remaining money" is a lie.
The "I will look for the remaining money elsewhere" is just a way of making you sympathetic.
Again most female response in this thread is still baffling and one thing you will notice abt d females for and against d lady d op mentioned I'd that the latter female are matured women in their 30s while the former females are girls who just want all 9ja men to behave and have the notion that we are mugus(instill the belief in us that occupying their father's role in their life is a norm).
For the umpteenth time "WE ARE NOT YOUR FATHERS NOR ARE WE YOUR UNCLEESSSS.It's a pity we are stuck with you guyz.Note I'm not saying it is wrong to give the money when you have it but when ladies start opening their wide greedy mouth to call a student who is still being financed by his parent stingy just because he did not give his gf money that he knows could affect him financially then truly there is high rate of poverty in nigeria and nigerian babes have a long way to go in understanding what a relationship is.

Jo

Guitarlife: Good morning all, thanks for your various inputs yesterday. I decided not to post so as to get good responses and do a thorough analysis in the mean time.
I am quite befuddled at the kind of responses I am getting here. It shows we are all humans after all, otherwise how would people from this same family section. People who are always singing that we single peeps should open our eyes wide and study every single detail about our partners before we get married now turn back to accuse me of overanalysing? Is that not close to speaking from both sides of the mouth if it's not exactly that?
For the records, I love this girl so much. I am friends with a few family section posters offline and there is no way I can tell a lie here. What would I stand to gain ? That transcript of text messages that I posted initially was directly copied from my mesages inbox and pasted here. Not a single word was altered so I am not trying to give a dog a bad name just so I can hang it like some people are already insinuating.
Neither am I stingy. Thrifty ? Maybe, but definitely not stingy but what I can tell you is that I am very much against spending on frivolities. I am a believer in saving for the rainy days.
I decided to table this issue at family section for balanced analysis because it had gotten to a heads.
If I begin to reel out some shocking incidents all bothering on unwholesome financial demands of my girl you will all conclude I am making up stories. But I am not, I am convinced her behaviour is as a result of a wrong orientation . Even before we started dating I had seen the red flag but I believed I could influence her cos we all know nobody is perfect but it seems It ain't as easy as I thought now and I may have to count my teeth with my tongue.
I will still give this another shot though. I will try to speak to her in a loving manner and make her see reasons why a lady should prize herself and not see her boyfriend as an ATM machine(AB05, 2013).
Thanks all once again for your inputs, I am also most greatful to the #EndTimeTinsCrew for gracing my thread with their presence.
Lest I forget, My girl has left school now since June for her home. When she was around there were times I personally cooked for her when she was sick. She is a reasonable girl too and I believe getting a decent girl like her will take a while so I want to give it another shot and hoping she will yeild. I do my little to make her see that I love her and want her for the long haul. Like I said initially, its easier for me to date her cos all the previous relationships I have had has been a challenge for me in the area of abstinence.
I love you all and have a great week ahead(Oops!!! Today is wednesday already.)

guitarlife no mind anyone wey dey call you stingy.even if you earn 100 billion every week,cater for her necessities not her frivolities.even if you love her make her know that it is not every of her frivolities that will be catered for.infact of its within your means give her money to establish a buisness for herself so she wont come and be asking money for this and that.as a matter of fact,she wont feel justified to ask you again because you have opened a buisness for her to help herself and her family.tell her to think of the kind of buisness she can do that she likes and will fetch her money.period! Because if you start giving her and her family money for a and b,c and end up marrying her.the day things are not too good and you tell them or your wife that you dont have money,she will take offence and trouble will start.she will assume that its because you eanted to marry her that you were giving her money,now that you are married,you cant give her money.she wont understand.moreover yorubas say the thing you dont want as a rich man,you start rejecting it as a poor man.draw a line and let everyone know your stand.love has brains o.

Frivolities are a part of life jare, not dat u shld indulge her all the time but.....anyway, u'll do what you'll still do, nothing we say here will make u change or anything.

also u said u thought u could influence her, this got me really smiling, this for me is a red flag. Once I hear a guy use that word, it's d opposite direction for me.
you can't influence /control anyone, maybe at first but seriously the other party will get tired of constantly being controlled.

pls find a chick dats a lot more to your specs because in d end, one of u will get frustrated.

I also couldn't help noticing u said u cooked for her when she was sick, so dats an achievement? Ow...kay, because u expected her to cook while Ill?

okay sha, I dnt really know why I bothered with replying sef, ita obvious u r set in ur ways and u'll do what u'll do.

@Guitarlife,

I will say again, shine your eyes and brain very well. Do not let "virginity" becloud your judgement, this is the period to add spiritual searchlight to your five senses.

If a person is given wholly to frivolities at her age, I wonder what will become of such a person tomorrow. The seed sown today will germinate to produce fruits in thousands/millions tomorrow.

Esteeming virginity of one shows the level of moral decadence in this our present age even with the geometric increase of religious houses. It was not this bad during the days of our fathers with no Christian nor Islamic convictions....

Do not be bullied to accepting you are stingy, if she doesn't fit in to your vision, let her go and focus on who will be of help to your destiny.

.

bellong: @Guitarlife,

I will say again, shine your eyes and brain very well. Do not let "virginity" becloud your judgement, this is the period to add spiritual searchlight to your five senses.

If a person is given wholly to frivolities at her age, I wonder what will become of such a person tomorrow. The seed sown today will germinate to produce fruits in thousands/millions tomorrow.

Esteeming virginity of one shows the level of moral decadence in this our present age even with the geometric increase of religious houses. It was not this bad during the days of our fathers with no Christian nor Islamic convictions....

Do not be bullied to accepting you are stingy, if she doesn't fit in to your vision, let her go and focus on who will be of help to your destiny.

exactly

chaircover: I'm seriously shaking my head.

If I talk now, people will say that I am talking from a privileged point and I dont know how half of Nigerians live

WHY OH WHY will a girl who lives under her parents direction be asking a man for aso ebi?

PARENTS, how are your kids surviving in school? In case you dont know, It is your responsibility to cater for ALL their needs . . .ALL

If a guy wants to buy his girlfriend a gift, take her out etc, then that is very different from someone EXPECTING another person to pick up their bills.

Many women are in abusive relationships (emotional, verbal and even physical) due to positions that they have placed themselves in with their partners and they are now trapped in these relationships.

This girl is 20, she is able bodied and and as a student, should be intelligent and full of ideas. when I was in school, I used to go to Lagos and buy "bosi koro" and come and sell to my mates in school. Some made hair for a fee, some sold household items, some sold shoes and bags. Nowadays there are so many ways to make money. You dont need to depend on a man for money. To me it seems the easy way out. Its easier to ask a man that is sleeping with you for money for a phone than it is to work hard for that same money.

If Guitalife wasn't a virgin freak, he would have easily slept with with this girl. Sadly she wont be the first and many many women have lost their virginity and self respect over cheap things. They become trapped in the relationships because they are enjoying the financial proceeds and before they know it they are married to the WRONG person and then trouble starts and no one rests.

gbam.that is the summary of my epistle.that is why men find it easy to take advantage of some girls.i have not seen a man taking advantage of a girl that exercises her brains

Stingy nicca want a beautiful princess but whines when she demands for a little token
Didn't you hear about the Brazilian chick that sold her virginity for million dollars.
You try see virgin, you no happy, keep looking for virgin that won't demand a dime from you.

You go wait tire. You think say u dey Yankee wey parents or government dey take care of their youth,
You know Nigeria society on pursuit of wealth,
U Berra give her some money before she meet someone who go pop her V status for aso Ebi money.

I don talk my own, after all you ain't a virgin no more so, clearly your perfect dating status won't work here.

Chillisauce: Stingy nicca want a beautiful princess but whines when she demands for a little token
Didn't you hear about the Brazilian chick that sold her virginity for million dollars.
You try see virgin, you no happy, keep looking for virgin that won't demand a dime from you.

You go wait tire. You think say u dey Yankee wey parents or government dey take care of their youth,
You know Nigeria society on pursuit of wealth,
U Berra give her some money before she meet someone who go pop her V status for aso Ebi money.

I don talk my own, after all you ain't a virgin no more so, clearly your perfect dating status won't work here.

I do not think that her virginity status is a license to turn the guy to her ATM.

If she wants to sell it, she's free.

She is not doing the guy a favor been a virgin.

@Guitarlife...maybe am wrong about your wanting to dump her now you have gotten a job,sorry about that..but i still maintain that running to Nairaland to complain and 'seek' for advice is not the way to go seriously.... ...what exactly did you want to hear?..how materialistic and irresponsible she is?...how bad her mother is?...na waoo!...you've just told us you knew she was like that yet you went ahead to date her so wetin be the issue now?....abeg if you really love her like you said,then give her the benefit of doubt as per she being a broke student,young and naive...in all,i pray for financial breakthrough for you so that 8k aso-ebi and other minor expenses wont be a big deal to you henceforth.Peace!!

bukatyne:

I do not think that her virginity status is a license to turn the guy to her ATM.

If she wants to sell it, she's free.

She is not doing the guy a favor been a virgin.

Tell that to the guy that has virginity as a criterion for choosing his spouse

Hh

@ op,

I understand you very well, but know that relationships have their peculiarity and sometimes it is a risk like every other thing in life.I have seen so many men that decided to sponsor their wives through school and it turn out good for them even though there are still otherwise. my point is apart from this constant demand of cash what of other areas like character,decency,beliefs,philosophy about life etc if you are okay with other things you can work this out.just know that whoever it is you are going to spend,lets assume you are dating a rich girl now are you saying you are not going to buy her gift on her birthday? are you not going to take her out sometimes? you see whichever way, somehow you will spend.Perhaps she is asking because she needs help.Are you saying if is your guy that needs help you wont help if you are capable? try and see it as if you are helping a needy that way you will not see yourself as an ATM machine.

However if you can't cope with her demands just let her go but know that the next person might not be about money but something else you see is all about looking for the lesser evil and try to manage it.

Guitarlife,stop whinning like a woman!
Haba!
Is this the same gal u plan to marry tomoro?
And u said some pple know u outside nairaland?
And I assume they will eventually c d two of u together?
A very bad foundation if I must say.

Either u waka front or u work on ur affair.
Its not a school debate.
And please close ur mouth.CLOSE YA MOUTH
Men act,not talk.


Infact tell mod to close this

Hmmmm, smh. I'm still sticking wit op is stingy.
u accused her unjustly because ur paranoid mind told u she checked ur balance , how so unfair.

like poster above said, u seriously need to change ur mindset. U have a really cool chick here or she wild have ported since.

Chillisauce: Stingy nicca want a beautiful princess but whines when she demands for a little token
Didn't you hear about the Brazilian chick that sold her virginity for million dollars.
You try see virgin, you no happy, keep looking for virgin that won't demand a dime from you.

You go wait tire. You think say u dey Yankee wey parents or government dey take care of their youth,
You know Nigeria society on pursuit of wealth,
U Berra give her some money before she meet someone who go pop her V status for aso Ebi money.

I don talk my own, after all you ain't a virgin no more so, clearly your perfect dating status won't work here.

obviously we know virginity has become a commercial entity and i feel sorry for the girls that exchanged it for a pack of fried rice and chicken at mr biggs but virginity is still one of the best gifts a girl can give a guy IF SHE HAS CHARACTER.the virginity thing will not have value if she doesnt have character,so if she needs the money that bad or her immidiate gratification is more important than her long term relationship,she can kiss the relationship good bye and pop it for any amount of money she needs.the point is that the beauty of virginity is CHARACTER.a virgin without CHARACTER is not better than a girl who sleeps with anything that has a tail between his legs for anything she wants and is not ready to work for,including grades in school.ill give an example.i have a close friend who told me that her brother married his wife as a virgin.shes hard working,takes care of the home and all,the only problem is that she talks too much about her private affairs especially to wrong people.like telling hair dresser,neighbours and her husbands friends about whatever happens in the bedroom.any time they have disagreement,she must tell her friends and her sisters.do you think such a man will still appreciate and value her virginity status.

Chillisauce:

Tell that to the guy that has virginity as a criterion for choosing his spouse

Is he one of the virgin finders?

Oh well!

She has something of interest to the guy then

I thought he was looking for a woman who would complement his vision in life.

Since he put a price tag on her, she is just following his foot steps na...

repogirl: Hmmmm, smh. I'm still sticking wit op is stingy.
u accused her unjustly because ur paranoid mind told u she checked ur balance , how so unfair.

like poster above said, u seriously need to change ur mindset. U have a really cool chick here or she wild have ported since.

the substance,beauty and maintenance of any relationship and even marriage is CHARACTER.Character maintains and sustains a marriage or relationship not virginity.i am not saying virginity is bad.its good but women need to have more value for themselves beyond their S3XUALITY