Caught My Hubby With His Sweetheart In Our Room! Advise Me Oo!


His people have notified me before but, I could not believe it until THE faithful day I caught him[size=14pt] RED HANDED [/size]

The worrisome side of it was that he could not even defend himself as he just kept on going around trivial issues. That was on VALS DAY !

Now, the confusing thing is that he wants me back to[i] my matrimonial home[/i]
Good Nairalandrs what do I do

what rubbish? go back 2 who? would he take u back if u cheated on him?
i don't know what u think of marriage but i know it is sacred and he has made nonsense of it.
he probably wants u cos the lady dumped his sorry ass or he misses the glorified house help in u.
women should place more value in themselves. i would never go back. living with him, under the same roof would be a lie on my life, each kiss, touch, and love making would be a torture as a constant reminder of how he touched the other woman.
and finally, he'll still cheat on u. as Oprah rightly said "when people show u who they r the 1st time, believe them, so u won't be surprised again"

Bone him - once bitten twice shy (in yo room!)!!!

Anyway, since its the first time he is catching on you, while not come back to him under some CONDITIONS to be set by you.

First time caught in the act in their matrimonious home and bed (that kinda tells me its been going on for sometime) - not cool 

i guess u have to go back to him since u guys are already married, but u would have given him some hot slaps when u caught, at list when u think of d slaps u gave him u will feel abit happy.{if u are not married to him yet pls do not go back to him}

he's ur husband,remember ur vows,its till death,so u hav 2go back and try2 work things out,if however u feel u wont be able to forgive him,i suggest u immediately file for a divorce.think this tru,cos all men are one and the same,(am sure he's soory &realy loves u pls reconsider )

Dont 4get the vows u made durin ur marriage to luv him 4 better 4 worse,4 richer ,4 richer, and d rest really its soooooo hard to do, i would like u to really 4give him n move on in life as his beloved wife becos the marriage vows matters alot, do not jus ignore it do not allow the devil to destroy ur HAPPINESS follow ur heart i know u stil luv him.

XTAR, GOD BLESS YOU!!!!!

MANY POEPLE HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE WORD 'FORGIVENESS'

AN EYE FOR AN EYE, - EVERY BODY GO TURN BAMBI-ALLAH

TOOTH FOR TOOTH, - NA ONLY MOIN-MOIN AND AKAMU UNA GO CHOP TILL UNA DIE,  

BLOOD FOR BLOOD, - TOTAL ANNIHILATION OF THE HUMA RACE!

[b][/b]NAIRALANDERS, FORGIVENESS IS DEVINE! MY DEAR LADY, FORGIVE YOUR HUSBAND, SHOW HIM MORE LOVE AND SAVE YOURSELF A LIFE OF HEARTACHE.

MY 0.02£ WORTH!

Ladyjini, I think you should give him another chance. I really do not want to believe that things went wrong between the two of you that is why he want seeing another lady. What i am saying is that you know the man you married, just like what Xstar had said do not allow the Devil destroy your happiness. I believe you still love him. Deep down inside him i know he is sorry for what he has done. Give him a chance.

xstar:

Dont forget the vows u made durin your marriage to love him 4 better 4 worse,4 richer ,4 richer, and d rest really its soooooo hard to do, i would like u to really 4give him n move on in life as his beloved wife because the marriage vows matters alot, do not jus ignore it do not allow the devil to destroy your HAPPINESS follow your heart i know u stil love him.

Ladyjini abeg - divorce him quick quick b4 he brings an unwanted gift into your house. The vows you made to him are valid yes but even the bible suggests divorce when one is cheated on, The same bible upon which these vows has been based.
I sympathize with you but if he would beg you now, he will go back to it. Leave him alone b4 you get something you are not bargaining for. For the bible to be strongly against adultery, God understands why.

@ xstar, don't blame the devil for anything it is not as the devil entered the man and asked him to cheat. The mere fact that he had the guts to do in their matrimonial bed shows 2 things: he doesn't care about the sacredness of that bed and he really doesn't care about the risks he was taking.

he should have remembered d vows when he was cheatin 2

You need to go back to him, just for you to creat peace between. But you make sure he apologise well and promise not to do that again. Thanks

If you love him then go back to him, if you run away then you will definately be running all your life unless if you want to be alone without a man. sometimes you just have to fight for waht is yours (including your husband). running away won't slove ur problem in any way, who told you that if u leave him and get another man there would'nt be a reoccurance? Men are very very unfaithful the world over and just know this the fact that a man sleeps around does'nt mean he loves his wife less am a man and am speaking from so many men's point of view. its hard but the awful truth is that men are like that and can hardly be stopped.

forgive but don't forget, forgive but leave him. he obvously did not take the marriage seriously, and hes shows little to no respect for you. by the way, all you men saying forgive forgive, will you forgive the wife if she did the same On other threads i hear these men saying they will throw the wife out,  whatever is good for the goose is also good for the gander. Its simple, if you don't want to be cheated on, don't cheat.

Sorry oooo , but is this make belief or real? i believe if it is the latter you would have closed this case the moment you caught them. get real girl. good riddance to bad rubbish abeg.

u shud go back to him, eventually. But make sure the process is so difficult and overwhelming for him that just the thot of going thru that process again shud be enuf to deter him future actions!

Driving away his mistress will not make him love you. Forcing him to be faithful will not make him adore you.

You have the right to divorce or to forgive. Each one totally right and understandable. Dont let anyone put you in a corner and force you to do what you do not want to. Even the bible (thats if you are a christian) supports divorce under marital infidelity. You however must forgive him - whether you get back together or not. So you can go on with life - with or without him.

I think you should stay away from him - his calls, texts, mails et al - for sometime, say a few weeks. Go away from everyone and think on your own what you decide to do. Personally I think it should be a holiday and your husband should foot the bill. You would then have the opportunity to think this through carefully.

If you do decide to stick with him, however, i think you two should sign some legal documents and review your vows. ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY!!!

Need I say more.

i can understand how u feel.its bad enuf catching ur bfriend in the act. how much more when its ur husband.
well, it all depends on you. if you really love him and he`s showing remorse for his crimes,then i think you should forgive him and try to forge ahead and at the same time,putting him in prayers.

but if you feel you cant live with the fact that he could actually cheat on you, then its best you take sometime off.
gives you both the space and time to think things over.

wether it will actually be for better or for worse.

I know its so difficult but its better if doesn't happen at all but since it has happened,you have no choice than to forgive him,you can as well give him some conditions but the most important bit(SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPENED) _{honestly,i still find it difficult to understand the reason why they claim that they luv u and still heat on u.Ao sad.hmmn}

Number 1, Cool jade you are so crazy, Why would you advise a lady not togo back to her matromonial home. What she deserves is respect, apology andmore love and good advise not the stupid things you are telling her. So she should what?marry another guy. it's so sad but she gotta go back if the husband is sorrry. Comeon learn to forgive so that you would be forgiven

You dont have to fight with your man, all u have to do is to just tell the woman to flush out of ur room then u can continue with ur life.because some girls can do anything to get another woman's husband.

Do you love the guy? Does he love you?
If you do, then you need to talk things over.
Perhaps he took you for granted.
Perhaps, he doesnt enjoy sex with you.

Or perhaps, like many guys, he did it cos he could.

Do you have any children? Think about them also.
I can tell you that many Nigerian husbands are guilty of sleeping around, albeit in guest houses, hotels and friends homes.

So please think about the future before you start 'bidding good riddance to bad rubbish' etc.

the game, would you forgive yours if the shoe was on your foot?

Grouppoint:

I can tell you that many Nigerian husbands are guilty of sleeping around, albeit in guest houses, hotels and friends homes.

So that makes it ok?

@thiefofhearts ,it does not make it okay but sadly its true.Almost all my married friends (in their 30s) are knocking boots with other babes like its going out of fashion.
The sad part is catching the guy in your own home.Ladies, please if you think you will divorce a guy in Nigeria for cheating,do not get married.
You will be married more times than Elizabeth Taylor otherwise.

honestly, if it was me, i'd forgive him(not instantly, definitely after a lot of begging and crawling ) but i'll have a few words for him.

I feel u ooooooooooo but, lets be frank its easier said than don most people given these advises (most especially the ladies) will not leave him because is a space 4 another woman. U said he is dump founded wot do u expect him 2 say " rubbish of course" 2 show d fear and remorse pls go back, there is nothing new under d sun but give him some conditions, check his friends love him d more i belif he is a man of conscience he will come on his knees. If he is like me i will do d same (cos Men we are bogus) but one on one i will beg her such will never happen even if its going 2 happen not in my home and not a slit insticnt will tell her.

I guess most of the folks telling you to call it a quit are not married.
I plead with you with the name of whatever you believe in to return to your matrimonial home.
There is no perfect man anywhere, I am sorry to say most ladies telling you to leave have at one point or the other dated married men. If you are not careful but heed to their advice they will surely take over your matrimonial home.
However to your man, I guess he went too far by bringing her mistress to your matrimonial home/bed.
Mr man, pls call your wife and apologize to her.
Madam, pls forgive him most especially for the sake of your/would be children.
May God grant you the heart to truly forgive and forget.

I'm sorry dear, but your marriage sounds like a joke to me. Obviously you don't respect each other at all.

The man went too far, But the choice is yours to make. If you think he can mend his ways (without the bullyboy tactic) you might consider going back to him. But ehm, ask him to change the re-furnish the bedroom before you return.

, he had the audacity to bring another woman to ur home na wah oh, truth is no one can tell u to accept him back or not, u know wat u've been through with him, but that fact above is a big minus.