@[b]naijaking[/b]
Your choice of words regarding others in this post may have been uncalled for. If you had said it nicely, ThiefOfHearts would not have needed to respond.

naijaking1:

@seun/nairaland: Michelin89

na wa-o for this thread. How come this child(MICHELIN) has been allowed to post ignorant, dangerous, false, and retarded write-ups in this thread despite all available indication that she is not qualified to render marriage advice to anybody!

There're other sections of nairaland she could be of much use, but having her spew her ignorance on the pages of this thread is unacceptable and a deservice to our intelligence.

The poster knowing fully well that this is a PUBLIC forum, asked for advice. Everyone is entitled to give theirs and i have seen some that should not have been given but to attack the person is not right.

That being said, we should all consider our line of reasoning before we contribute to delicate matters as such as this.

u caught him and then wat?

if u were giving him enough and u stop using sex as a weapon to deal with him , he wont cheat

go and correct ur own errors and leave the man alone

lmao so it is all down to sex? and the woman? this is just great . Poor man indeed

@all
sorry if i offended anyone. Not my intention, at all!
Like they say, "it's ok to be ignorant, just don't be too loud about it."
Is it ok to be loud about it in this forum?
Final peace!!!!!!!

@ naijaking1

you know where to put your insults. You won't be the one to stop me from speaking my mind. You can call me fool stupid ignorant undedicated and so on,  I bet I am even more educated than you are. Ignorant dropout.

You are just a stupid man who can only give stupid advice, why won't you tell her to go back to her husband when you yourself, are cheating or have the intention to cheat on your wife just like the dude. Just like you'd like that your wife to forgive you because you think she is so stupid to do so, you also want this to be stupid as well.

It seems somze is the only guy with brains here. Carry your "all men cheat" out of here. it has be proved that good and faithful ones still exist.

Coglione!

*Take a Deep breath girl* Similing

- is like u re a bini girl?

niceuzor:

*Take a Deep breath girl* Similing

- is like u re a bini girl?

I nor get any problem.

I admit I am replying from a personal point of view but who isn't here? There are some people who are willing to forgive certain things but I am not such. Trust is what matters in any relationship being it friendship, family, marriage and what so ever; even between business partner.

Just look at it in the perspective of business partnership, how would you feel if your partner betrays you by bringing in someone else to conclude a deal you both have been working on?

Unless you consider marriage to be an employer and employee type where the employee has to accept any decision the employer makes because he is the one making the major profits? Also in this case those who gives jobs is never so forgiving (man who catches his wife cheating) but we can see a lot of cases where a worker goes through a lot of agony just for the fear of not being able to survive without the job.

Marriage in my opinion is a 50-50 thing. We are business partners and my trust is the only thing that keeps us together. Betray me and I will never forgive you.

I am Ishan.

TOH and michelin lady

Kindly explain why you think this problem is trivially solved, and why you think those who believe it takes experience and expertise to solve marital disputes are people with no brains in their heads.

Also, do you really think 'Nigerian women are morons, plain and simple', as you said earlier?

Please don't repeat your views on the topic, I'm sure youve driven your points home. Just explain why you think those who do not consider this problem trivial are idiots.

@michelin89

i thou as much,so what part of edo state re u from?

@dakmanzero

Please give her a break Ok! let me finish my conversation with her 1st

its quite a pity abt that, but the fact still remains that u're married to him and the vow is for better for worse. maybe its the first time its happening, so why dnt u give him a benefit of doubt and hope it wldnt happen again.
do forgive your husband though its not going to be very easy but you have to try. i wish you all the best

dakmanzero:

TOH and michelin lady
Kindly explain why you think this problem is trivially solved,

This isn't a trivial issue and deserves no trivial solution. If she goes back that's when she'll make it trivial because she makes it seem it's something that can be condoned and easily justified. In my opinion cheating has no justification.

dakmanzero:

and why you think those who believe it takes experience and expertise to solve marital disputes are people with no brains in their heads.

Those people who keep on saying these are those who are giving ignorant posts. They think a woman out of wedlock is like a fish out of water without the possibility of surviving. Instead of them to give advice from a human perspective they are are giving advice from a societal point of view. That's what I call ignorance.

dakmanzero:

Also, do you really think 'Nigerian women are morons, plain and simple', as you said earlier?

This is TOH's. But I can kindly say that being too forgiving is synonym of being stupid.

dakmanzero:

Please don't repeat your views on the topic, I'm sure youve driven your points home. Just explain why you think those who do not consider this problem trivial are idiots.

As I have said earlier this problem isn't trivial and she ought to make her husband understand this. Forgiving him and moving on like nothing has happened (some people are suggesting this) won't make him understand the gravity of his actions.

niceuzor:

@michelin89
i thou as much,so what part of edo state re u from?

I don't know how you managed to think I was from edo state. I just hope the picture on my profile and my location had nothing to do with it.

I said I am from ishan west.

niceuzor:

@dakmanzero

Please give her a break Ok! let me finish my conversation with her 1st

Don't worry. I won't give him a break either.

madam wat i will tell u is dat jst 4giv n 4get ok bcus of d vow u tak 4 better 4 worst,alwyz pray 4 him 2 change notin is above prayer,we all knw wat he dd is prtty wrunk.

@michelin89 *So Curious*

Very intelligent fella!i'm impress by ur word's my dear.

I don't know how you managed to think I was from edo state. I just hope the picture on my profile and my location had nothing to do with it

I said I am from ishan west.

"Ishan west" ehn! then u re from Edo state.Anyway i just want to know u dat's all

if u dont mind can we be friends?

I'm from "Oredo" formerly in Benin Agbor Road but now in Oversea.

Hope dat's sound pleasant to you.

niceuzor:

@michelin89 *So Curious*

Very intelligent fella!i'm impress by your word's my dear.

"Ishan west" ehn! then u re from Edo state.Anyway i just want to know u that's all

if u don't mind can we be friends?

I'm from "Oredo" formerly in Benin Agbor Road but now in Oversea.

Hope that's sound pleasant to you.

Hearing someone wants to be my friend is always pleasant to me, unpleasant sometimes are the reasons why they want it.

Meaning we re friends now right?

niceuzor:

Meaning we re friends now right?

Before being friends don't you make friend?

Let's make friends. My yahoo ID is on my profile!

Oh Sorry i never knew there is a difference btw "Being friends" and "Make Friends"

Private message E-mail On Humble2g7@yahoo.com, .

@viewer's

Abeg make una no spam me!

na "michelin89" na me give Oh.

hmm, lol hehehe

Thank you jare somze. naijaking is a just a joke.

ThiefOfHearts:

Thank you jare somze. naijaking is a just a joke.

Meaning?

darkman, is that a joke?

Do you really think that I as a Nigerian female myself would think ALL Nigerian women were stupid?

I was being dramatic, either way I was agreeing with somze and since when is disrespect in the matrimonal home considered to be "trival"?

again, we have "advice" telling her to get revenge by cheating back/sleeping with a house boy, why arent you bothering those people?

abi n kan mi wa n gbe ni?

niceuzor:

Meaning?

meaning nothing he says makes sense thus shouldnt be taken seriously

dude, wetin be your own anyway? you name be naijaking?

TOH

He is just man-supporting him!

sh*t, banging and sawnging in ur room , thats craazy, just dont know why men cheat(what u a man MP007), LOL, maybe yall ladies stop making up,feeling less sexy and not doing as u used to do before marriage , a man wants his wife to be his "girlfriend", thats the secret married ladies, just be like a gurlfirend, make up and look good,

Sis, the answer is within you. Most of the posts you get here are from people who dont have girlfriends talk les of being married. Having a girlfriend is different from having a wife, really it's up to you, no one is going to take that decision for you. good luck

@TOH

So. You don't consider people of your nationality and gender to be morons. Good. Glad that's cleared up.

@both michelin and TOH

On triviality- I asked you why you consider the matters to be trivial. You both proceeded to explain to me why they are NOT trivial. So, you agree with me that the issues are non-trivial, is that correct?


@michelin

Societal and human perspectives- You consider advice to seek help from professionals or experienced peers as a 'societal perspective' which you consider 'ignorant'.

Before you go off on a tangent, please understand that I never talked about forgiving the man or going back to him. If you read my earlier post, I lumped these people together with you lot advising her to dump him. BOTH of you are advocating trivial solutions to a nontrivial problem.

I dont say she should forgive him. I dont say she should leave him. I say she should ask those in a better position to respond, either due to personal experience or professional expertise.

Please explain why that point of view classes me aming the ignorant, stupid, and empty-headed.


@niceuzor

I dont have to stop talking to her for her to pay attention to you. Forums are asynchronous media, we can talk to many people at once. Have fun toasting her and please in future don't put your email address on the forum where everyone can see- the things that will spam you are automated bots that dont care about your plea of 'dont spam me abeg'

ika is an ika ok, dont lsiten to him o

Michelin comes off as being 'I-too-sabi' or 'Na me sabi pass everybody', like I said before she is entitled to have strong opinions.

Hopefully she is smart and learning what she can from the considered responses on this forum.

However if Michelin is blindly fixed to this black and white view of marriage,  it may cost her and cost her very dearly in future.

Usually such people recognise their foolishness after having made a very expensive mistake - especially if children are involved.

It will be tragic if the poor girl ends up divorced in future because 'she-dey hear only her own voice'

Vitastraka:

Michelin comes off as being 'I-too-sabi' or 'Na me sabi pass everybody', like I said before she is entitled to have strong opinions.

Hopefully she is smart and learning what she can from the considered responses on this forum.

However if Michelin is blindly fixed to this black and white view of marriage, it may cost her and cost her very dearly in future.

Usually such people recognise their foolishness after having made a very expensive mistake - especially if children are involved.

It will be tragic if the poor girl ends up divorced in future because 'she-dey hear only her own voice'

Wetin i do you? why you nor dey persecute TOH? She also agrees with me. Or is because i be 18 yrs old? Please give me a break!

dakmanzero:

@both michelin and TOH

On triviality- I asked you why you consider the matters to be trivial. You both proceeded to explain to me why they are NOT trivial. So, you agree with me that the issues are non-trivial, is that correct?

Correct!

dakmanzero:

@michelin

Societal and human perspectives- You consider advice to seek help from professionals or experienced peers as a 'societal perspective' which you consider 'ignorant'.

The individual isn't always identified by the society. Issued like this shouldn't be dealt from a societal perspective as this is strictly a personal affair which occurred in a restricted area. Such as in a family.

We can bring the society into legal and few moral matters and this is not one. We are dealing of a case where an individual has been hurt and disrespected and the society offers a trivial solution which comports the view of the matter as an easily condoned and forgiven one.

dakmanzero:

Before you go off on a tangent, please understand that I never talked about forgiving the man or going back to him. If you read my earlier post, I lumped these people together with you lot advising her to dump him. BOTH of you are advocating trivial solutions to a nontrivial problem.

As someone has said seeing things either black or white can't help to give useful advice. Going back to him makes the matter trivial, leaving him makes the matter as the most nontrivial of all offenses. There might be higher offenses than this, but this isn't something that should be overlooked. When someone proposes a compromising solution I'll agree fully. All the solutions have been one sided (even mine).

dakmanzero:

I don't say she should forgive him. I don't say she should leave him. I say she should ask those in a better position to respond, either due to personal experience or professional expertise.

When did I address you as an ignorant? I was referring to those giving trivial solutions to a non-trivial issue. Mine isn't a trivial solution because for me to advice her to quite the marriage, the man must have dome something really unforgivable and this is it.

dakmanzero:

Please explain why that point of view classes me aming the ignorant, stupid, and empty-headed.

As I have said earlier, since you had never proposed a solution, my post wasn't addressed to you.

Michelin

It's not like that my dear, I wasn't trying to pile on you really.

Flowers to Michelin

Vitastraka:

Michelin

It's not like that my dear, I wasn't trying to pile on you really.

Flowers to Michelin

Flowers accepted!