MzDarkSkin:

Well potato its you giving yourself the headache. i choose black men
for that very reason. i am not in the mood to fight to be accepted or to have to
explain to my kids why i am black and they are brown. i find compatibility with black men
and our race is diverse enough for me to choose amongst the different flavors and cultures.

i dont need to look elsewhere but i am not mad at those who do.
all i have to say is the moment you and your other race partner made it official that you guys were
a couple you should have made sure you were ready to handle the ridicule, the looks and the
hatred that comes from the outside because you love each other. Otherwise what was the point?

Tosinville:

***Tosinville kisses ms.potato***

Tosinville:

Ms.Potato
what kind of favor, baby boo?¿¿

Mrs.Chima:

I am mad at you Cousin! 

adamsrib:

I always find it ironic when people make decisions then expect everyone to fall in line just because they feel it's right. You have a right to love whoever you choose to, and your parents and family have a right to reject that choice. It's called freedom of choice.  Freedom of choice is a two edged sword. It allows you to make decisions based on your beliefs and it allows others to disagree with you based on theirs.

Anyone who makes a decision and then gets upset at someone disagreeing with that decision is the epitome of a hypocrite. Let your decision be yours and let others make theirs.

IMO there are too many fine chocolate and caramel colored brothas walking around for me to dip my toe in any other flavor.

MzDarkSkin:

@ms potato im not blaming you sis. All i am saying is you can't help who u like (supposedly   just kidding)
so follow your heart and let it go. There is no need to force and interracial relationship on everybody or question why
you are not accepted or why you are attracted to a certain type. Just go with the flow. That is all I can say.  

@Mr.BJ     (no pun intended) seriously i understand where u are coming from.
I have dated AA, Caribbean and African men. I happen to have a preference for Caribbean
men and African men but I find my attraction for African men to top all. With that having been said I realize
(and this very site has confirmed it) that I would probably be disliked by some Africans should I marry into their
family because I am not African despite my black skin but I am prepared to tell them where they can go.  

I wont lie it would devastate me to know my kids might experience wishy-washiness or total disregard because their father's
ppl might not like the fact that he married/impregnated a Jamo/Akata but at the end of the day my mentality is
"live and let live" and those who do not like me, i will avoid but i wont apologize for being me. bottom line. I am blessed to have
a Jamo mother who is very much intone with reality and humanity and welcomes the idea that her future son in-law may be African
(she actually believes he will be lol), from another island or even black American.

If i am in love with a man who is from another culture i know i would be foolish to enter that relationship timid and not
head strong because ppl are ppl and hate is every where but one should not let is stop them from living their lives.
It's just up to the strong ones to pay ignorant ppl little to no mind and follow their hearts.

I do think internal racial/ethnic prejudice is more devastating and interracial. As you noted and i see to be true, some blacks
are more prejudice against other blacks than other races.

Tosinville:

***Tosinville gives Ms.potato bunch of rose flowers***

Mrs.Chima:

I am mad at you Cousin!

Ms. Potato:

^^^ U are mean

HaveSense1:

I've once dated an Italian woman for a ripe 2 years. Even though she had her flaws, I still had love for her because she was one of the first to actually love me for me. We've long since broken up for personal reasons, but one of the many reasons was because her dad didn't like black people. And him being her dad, she was more or less forced to take his side. What bothered me is that she didn't stand up for herself, letting her dad and co. tell her lies. It was horrible, and it seriously put a dent in our relationship.

I don't think anyone should have to experience that, but hey.

That's life

I don't want to be insensitive and flat-out say 'that relationship was not meant to be' as I know you are still pained by that but I will say that in my honest and humble opinion, you deserved much better than that.

'It was ordained that man should leave his mother and flee to the woman he loves"  - Dennis Brown

meaning both man AND woman once they reach a certain age where they can make decisions as adults should be able to make a choice and stand by it. It takes a firm woman to keep a man strong, you just need(ed) a firm woman to have your back even if it means turning her back on family because at the end of the day as much as we'd like to make our parents happy, life is all about procreating and starting a faimly of our own. Bottom line.

I am sorry to hear that though. Pick your chin up and be proud that you were a man about it.
Better will come your way bro. Trust me. 


lmao! CHIMA! 

Ms. Potato:

Who be your cousin? 

Ladies! Ladies Ladies! Yeah its a free world to choose who you want to be with but do you honestly think that sticking to your choice and ignoring what your family has to say or do would do you any good? Like i said, you ladies have not been trough this so you obviously dont know how does it feels and how hard can it be. Being in an Asian family, one's parents can go to the extreme just to have you get married to my own kind. You can even see it on Jay's posts earlier on when his gf's parents wanted to kill him and got all the higher authorities involve just to get rid of him.

Just thank God that you have feelings for your own kind and pray it stays that way.

Mz Dark Sweety, So now even the discriminate people whom have the same skin tone colour but different country?  

MzDarkSkin:

[color=#0066ff]I don't want to be insensitive and flat-out say 'that relationship was not meant to be' as I know you are still pained by that but I will say that in my honest and humble opinion, you deserved much better than that.

'It was ordained that man should leave his mother and flee to the woman he loves"  - Dennis Brown

meaning both man AND woman once they reach a certain age where they can make decisions as adults should be able to make a choice and stand by it. It takes a firm woman to keep a man strong, you just need(ed) a firm woman to have your back even if it means turning her back on family because at the end of the day as much as we'd like to make our parents happy, life is all about procreating and starting a faimly of our own. Bottom line.

I am sorry to hear that though. Pick your chin up and be proud that you were a man about it.
Better will come your way bro. Trust me. 

Mrs.Chima:

Let keep it real, that trick didn't want you.  

Inked_Nerd:


Awwww

Sorry to hear that.

MzDarkSkin:

HaveSense1 I feel you bro.  

Tosinville:

Ms.potato
Its alright then, are you guys not on facebook to let him know you're back on nl?

Mrs.Chima:

I will leave them to you. I like looking up with my eyes open and feeling something precious.

HaveSense1:

I've once dated an Italian woman for a ripe 2 years. Even though she had her flaws, I still had love for her because she was one of the first to actually love me for me. We've long since broken up for personal reasons, but one of the many reasons was because her dad didn't like black people. And him being her dad, she was more or less forced to take his side. What bothered me is that she didn't stand up for herself, letting her dad and co. tell her lies. It was horrible, and it seriously put a dent in our relationship.

I don't think anyone should have to experience that, but hey.

That's life

adamsrib:

How would you know what I have been through? Don't discount other peoples experiences just because they are not your own.

I have a newsflash for you, your parents are never going to embrace your boyfriend with open arms. You can rebel, threaten and do whatever you deem necessary, but you are not going to change them. Just like they are not going to change you. You have CHOSEN to be in this situation, and yes I said CHOSEN, so you have to decide between your family and your boyfriend. That is the reality of the situation. Its it fair? No. Does it suck that you have choose? Yes. But we all know life isn't fair. And no matter how hard you try, you dont have the power to change other people. That's real.

FYI, I'm an African American woman who just married a Nigerian man and moved to Africa. We happen to be the same color but our cultures are very very different. I'm still learning the language, foods etc. It has not been easy, and I have a long way to go but everyday with him makes it all worth it. Good luck to you and may you find peace in your situation.

MzDarkSkin:

HaveSense1 I feel you bro.  

@Potato *sighs*     sis bottom line you say you are not happy right? here is what i want you to do before we further drag this out.

get a sheet a paper and jot down all of the good things and the bad things you have experienced with your Naija other half ok? (yes i got the idea from 'Why Did I Get Married'   that is my MOVIE!!!!!) so you do that and you dont have to share it on here but when u do, come back and then we will discuss how to get you to move on according to how you feel after having time to think and reminisce. Sound like a plan?

Also I have EVERY right to speak on this topic. I wasn't always proud of my blackness much less a fan of my own black men. I used to suffer self hatred and like white and light skinned men. It was only when a white guy who i thought liked me, denied having feelings for me amongst his friends that i got a bitter taste of the exploring elsewhere thing. I was 12 at the time and it hurt but I am glad it happened.   Now my only issue is black on black ignorance but that is a battle I'm not even going to dwell on cause I know how to handle and stand up for myself. I just want you to, aswell.