Whatever you do just make sure you don't overdo it. If Ur conscience is clear that with the way you confronted her mum, it's still within order and not outrightly rude then stand Ur ground. But if u don overvex and spoil things, beg her.
Just that whenever u don't like something, don't keep quiet.

MrBrownJay1:
you should have done that the FIRST time the mother interfered in your family matters...11yrs of letting her mother believe she was in charge, is way too long and now a waste of energy to try to correct it.

Better late than never.

superCleanworks:


You want to start mixing the cement after it has turned to a rock. good luck with that.

So he should continue tolerating it since it had turn to rock?

Receive sense and leave her for a while
She believed in feeding you
Leave her mother to talk to her.
Later talk to your wife because she will always give you feedback

Who is the wife and who is the husband? Today, in the western world, these roles are becoming extinct.

You didn't tell us your own fault or mistake, let's hear from your wife or mother's in-law before I give my judgement.

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,
I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.
more details later

For 11 years?

Where is the detail explaining what really went down abeg?

sisisioge:
How did you confront your mil? Would you be fine if your wife used same style on your mother? She said you disrespected her family...there are a million and one ways to politely ask in laws not to meddle in your affairs without being offensive fa.

Anyways, on a brighter note, the message has been passed across and mama wont be meddling in the future even when you need her to meddle...if there is a future. All of una go dey alright.

The fact that she left the house because he confronted her says a lot oga.
That's it.

GindoX:
You didn't tell us your own fault or mistake, let's hear from your wife or mother's in-law before I give my judgement.

Good one!

Her mother might be single mother

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

I think you have done what a real man should do and at the right time. But if only what you said about your mother inlaw interference in your marriage is true. As for your wife, agaracha must come back. In Igbo language, runner away or walkaholic wife must come back.

sisisioge:
How did you confront your mil? Would you be fine if your wife used same style on your mother? She said you disrespected her family...there are a million and one ways to politely ask in laws not to meddle in your affairs without being offensive fa.

Anyways, on a brighter note, the message has been passed across and mama wont be meddling in the future even when you need her to meddle...if there is a future. All of una go dey alright.

Would it be right if his mother also controls the husband?

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

Let her go and marry her mother. If u allow her back in without her coming on her knees with family members, one Goat and black label jonny Walker whiskey with pepper meat and pomo to appease the gods, then u fuxk up. She will do something stronger next time. Trust me I'm talking out of experience.

Personally, your story is not complete, i think i need an instance or 2 how your mother in law interfered.... sometimes what we think is interference may not be, also how and what did you tell or do to your mother in law...? This would help make proper judgement.

Kobojunkie:
For 11 years?

Where is the detail explaining what really went down abeg?

Aproko what details u dey find again. How they had sex?

Dear OP, you have no choice but to call your wife and beg her don't take the red pillars approach beg her mom and start taking your wife out, buy gifts for her, gist her as you will do to your friends, give her good s*x, and take her on vacations. All these will make her too clingy that she won't want to live you or do anything that will hurt you, though no 1 is perfect.
The problem with most married men is that they see their wives as housewives. The attached image speaks volumes if a human being can make friends with a lion how much more are a man and his wife? The bottom line is your wife isn't confiding in you because you lack human management the common problem of we men

7arrows:
■ Aproko what details u dey find again. How they had sex?

You are joking with this silly ask, right? Or are you one of those who desire my attention that badly?

Immature response everywhere. Obviously na kids full this platform... Bro if you are a church person involved your spiritual head now. To me don't bother your wife. If she realized what she has done she go find her home. Never you go begging. I repeat never. You stop the devil from broking your home. Your wife vex. No right thinking man would allow a woman to control him no matter what. It's good you took such step. Maintain it.

I don't see what your problem is though.

You're missing her or what?

You tried to have waited for whole 11 years. Such things are better corrected immediately after wedding. Good luck sha.

thesicilian:

Maybe you shouldn't have waited for 11 years before challenging her. It's always best to set the proper foundation from the beginning, otherwise whatever happens you just have to find a way to tolerate it. As it stands now you either go and apologize to them or wait and see if your wife will come to her senses

He's a weakling speaking up after 11 years, may we not have such unfortunate children

What you wouldn't eat, you shouldn't bother smelling it out in the first place.
Your MIL believes she's doing right by her daughter, you should have been firm from the beginning.
All the same it's your wife that's your primary target. You tell her what you want in your family.

Allow her go until she get sense....
If she never gets her sense back... Then she's not for u...

U sef ehn.... If no be say you be senior man... I for like whip you oraimo cord for neck....
How u go endure such nonsense for 11 good years on top woman wen u use your money marry abi them borrow you money take marry the woman

Stop there,those saying you goofed....
MARRIEDs.....talk sense here...
Unmarrieds, excuse....
It's your family here.....
Mama, pls eat some shit once awhile......

Even if she served Queen Elizabeth, it's your wife, and if your wife feels the intimacy is waning and want to trade places, let her try.....
Don't tell me that your wife has been this super daughter....or else that's a red flag which I think the guys may have been right....

However, as shit hits the fan, remember that a man lived through the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings....
Yours is small fry

iHateFraudsters:
If my wife dares leave my house for 24hrs, then she'll stay out permanently.

Cos she'll have a hard time explaining the man she went to visit.

I doubt you are married.

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

I have been in Marriage officially for 14yrs now, I can categorically tell you the negative effect of external interference... Stand ur grand

Say Enough is Enough o to get!!

If she wants to follow her mother so be it .. before dey plan bad coup for you... Talking from experience that almost scattered my cousins home... Those mother-in-law sometimes r evil.

Way to go bro, fire her better warning then apologies later. If she dears again, make the firing harder.
If she no get manners, make she find another man for daughter wey no know where to place respect of common sense.
If I was in your shoes, they will have been begging by now.

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

My brother, don't beat yourself up.You are the head of your home and should be in charge of everything that happens there,so nobody should try to take control of your home.
Not even your family members or in-laws.You didn't do anything wrong in trying to take back authority over your home.
As for your wife,she must be very sick in the head, to allow her mother run your home from the background.
Who does that? A sensible wife runs and guards her home jealously,not allowing or tolerating any form of interference from family members and in-laws.
Since she has decided to leave, just ignore her completely,no calls or texts.She is trying to blackmail you emotionally, and you must not fall for it.
Ignore her,as if she doesn't exist.
Nobody will tell her to advise herself and return and be a sensible wife.

I hope you have kids.... Let her remain with her mum