wisdomkid:


Never say ever.
The perfect time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the next best time is, NOW.

If the next best time for him is now, then there's no need for him asking us for advice. He's a slow poke to be planting a tree after 20years. He probably will wait for another 20yrs to water it, then another 20yrs to add fertilizers. His actions will come every 20yrs.

His problem is probably spiritual. They've put "horse reins" all over him. The strap probably broken after 11years. They will now use a chain and Tinnubu logo to shacked him for the next 20yrs.

Guyman01:
If una don taya to marry make una scatter the marriage haba🤧
From morning to night we dey busy dey settle Marital crisis on Nairaland while those in the outgoing government are busy signing concessioning agreements and awarding contracts to their cronies while we are being distracted by people failinginmarriage

Guy, there's a thread that has been running for long on this platform called Red Pillers you can get some few insights on how to handle and treat women with love while putting them in their place and getting the desired respect from them as an alpha male without simping

I know how

Elewokun:
It's not as easy as you think. Seems you're not married. If you are, you will know the power of "3P's"
Prayer, patience and perseverance

in my world, its the power of the 3 Ms ...My house, My family, My rules... and mother in law is irrelevant to these rules!

linearity:
I agreed that he should have done that and assert his authority from the start, but it is never too last to start.

wisdomkid:
Never say ever.
The perfect time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the next best time is, NOW.

drsibz66:
"Any time you decide to wake up is your morning". Its better late than never. Its not too late as it was something that needed to be done eventually.

IMHO it is too late... if wifey left the family home and sided with her mother, after letting this madness go for so long, then there is not much that can be done. you cant let someone run loose for so long and after 11 yrs (of being broken) try to change that person's ways. she is more comfortable (in that marriage) listening to her mother than listen to you, thus why she left. if after 11yrs together, your wife puts more value on what her MOTHER says than what you say, then you might as well move on! this woman obvioulsy has no respect for her man or what he says/stands for.

sisisioge:
How did you confront your mil? Would you be fine if your wife used same style on your mother? She said you disrespected her family...there are a million and one ways to politely ask in laws not to meddle in your affairs without being offensive fa.

Anyways, on a brighter note, the message has been passed across and mama wont be meddling in the future even when you need her to meddle...if there is a future. All of una go dey alright.

After 11 years, he has more than earned d right to say whatever.

Those so called elderly, wen dem don fok up n u put them in their places, dey will never address what u said, they will say u insulted fhem.

I have been there too many times, anybody go collect. No b me n u go dey do diplomacy.

Na d guy mumu, I for than scatter that table tey tey.

22rockbottom:
■ I was really rude about the confrontation. I was angry and below is why I was angry.

Both my in-laws came to our house, though I knew they were coming but I wasn't cool with it because they were with us last year December/January this year then now. My wife knew I wasn't cool with it but she never cares. We were both sleeping on the same bed but weren't talking. We had an issue one night and she went to report me to her parents, but her parents never call me to ask for my side of the story. That made me more angry so I left the house in the middle of the night. Guess what, I was away for 2nights and both my wife and my in-laws were not bother. They didn't even call. That made me more furious. So I spoke to her rudely.

22rockbottom:
I was actually rude about the confrontation. I was angry and below is why I was angry.

Both my in-laws came to our house, though I knew they were coming but I wasn't cool with it because they were with us last year December/January this year then now. My wife knew I wasn't cool with it but she never cares. We were both sleeping on the same bed but weren't talking. We had an issue one night and she went to report me to her parents, but her parents never call me to ask for my side of the story. That made me more angry so I left the house in the middle of the night. Guess what, I was away for 2nights and both my wife and my in-laws were not bother. They didn't even call. That made me more furious. So I spoke to her rudely.

Note: My wife is a sweet soul without the influence of her mother.

YOUR AN IDIOT.


YOU LEFT YOUR WIFE TO BE CHALLENGING YOUR PARENTS.



I TELL YOU NOW, YOUR WIFE IS THE MAIN PROBLEM.



ALSO, MARRIAGE IS SHARING, LEARN TO ENDURE YOUR WIFE FAMILY IN YOUR HOUSE AS YOU WOULD YOUR OWN PARENTS.



PROVIDE THEM WITH SPACE AND CREATE A SPACE FOR YOURSELF AWAY FROM THEM, SO YOU GET TO SEE THEM ON YOUR OWN TERMS.

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

Bro,

I ended a relationship with a nice lady in the US because her mum was domineering, I just knew she would want to control my home and I sadly walked away, it was a painful decision.

Pally, you shouldn't have waited for 11 years, but better late than never; don't expect it easy, she and her mum would fight back and either of two things might happen. 1. Your marriage crashes or 2. Your wife and her mum become estranged. Whatever the outcome, may it be in your favor.

Best wishes.

Kobojunkie:
For 11 years?

Where is the detail explaining what really went down abeg?

He won't answer you , they're always painting themselves as the saint in any failed relationships . He's the Saint Michael in this story .

isabi2lof:


He won't answer you , they're always painting themselves as the saint in any failed relationships . He's the Saint Michael in this story .

HE SIAD HIS WIFE IS SWEET SOUL, AS IF NA ONLY HIM GET HER.



IS IT ANIMALS THAT RAISE SWEET SOUL THAT YOU MARRY?



JEALOUSY, WICKEDNESS AND GREED.



HE DONT WANT TO SHARE ATTENTION.

hammerT:


YOUR AN IDIOT.


YOU LEFT YOUR WIFE TO BE CHALLENGING YOUR PARENTS.



I TELL YOU NOW, YOUR WIFE IS THE MAIN PROBLEM.



ALSO, MARRIAGE IS SHARING, LEARN TO ENDURE YOUR WIFE FAMILY IN YOUR HOUSE AS YOU WOULD YOUR OWN PARENTS.



PROVIDE THEM WITH SPACE AND CREATE A SPACE FOR YOURSELF AWAY FROM THEM, SO YOU GET TO SEE THEM ON YOUR OWN TERMS.

You are the bigger idiot for insulting some1

westlius:

You are the bigger idiot for insulting some1

VAGABOND, WAS I TALKING TO YOU?

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

Well I don't know if you have the balls to go the whole mile like I do.
If you do have the balls, I'd tell you to call their bluff.
If your so-called wife doesn't return, to hell with her.
That's me.

prophetfire:
Well I don't know if you have the balls to go the whole mile like I do.
If you do have the balls, I'd tell you to call their bluff.
If your so-called wife doesn't return, to hell with her.
That's me.

REHEARSED MADNESS!


THIS IS WHAT I WAS REFERING TO EARLIER.


DEM DONE DEY PRESS HIS MUGU BUTTON

Okealaaye:
Allow her go! That's one less burden for you. The mother-in-law cannot be Mistress in her own house and be Madam in yours! Do not panic, because she's coming back and when does, it'll be on your terms. Do not bother about what people say - their opinions and whatever they say count for nothing in your marriage. If you lose your grip on your destiny now, for your destiny is at stake here, then the man in you has become impotent.

and what if she doesnt come back? cos she may not come back.

Truth is in marriage u don't take decisions like a dictator. U have to carry everybody along and respect those that should be respected.

u must are ur mother inlaw as ur mother b4 u confront her or else u will address her like a total stranger. this applies to ur wife confronting or addressing ur own mum also.

anything aside this will lead to problems unless ur wife has been carried along or is helpless under u.

hammerT:


VAGABOND, WAS I TALKING TO YOU?

Biggest foool

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

When you suppose to stop it you over look it now it will generate a very big issue

hammerT:



HE SIAD HIS WIFE IS SWEET SOUL, AS IF NA ONLY HIM GET HER.



IS IT ANIMALS THAT RAISE SWEET SOUL THAT YOU MARRY?



JEALOUSY, WICKEDNESS AND GREED.



HE DONT WANT TO SHARE ATTENTION.

Don't mind him , I can't watch anybody talking down on my mom, if there's anything my mom is doing and you don't like it , you can tell me about it , I will be the one to find a way to go about it .

The kind of complaints coming from married couples these days , it's not encouraging at all , can't people filter what they read online . People like creating problems where there's none.

hammerT:



REHEARSED MADNESS!


THIS IS WHAT I WAS REFERING TO EARLIER.


DEM DONE DEY PRESS HIS MUGU BUTTON

Using emotional blackmail on him. Nonsense.

taylor89:
marry the mom as second wife


Na why some guys dey like marry babe wey their parents don die

11yrs relationship and the mom is still acting like you guys are dating

Mother way die better . Women are wahala by nature

westlius:

Biggest foool

Y U NO JUST SAY BABA BLESS ME, MAKE I TAKE SCHNAP BLIND BOTH YOUR EYES?


ABI U NO WAN SEE BETTER THING?

sisisioge:
How did you confront your mil? Would you be fine if your wife used same style on your mother? She said you disrespected her family...there are a million and one ways to politely ask in laws not to meddle in your affairs without being offensive fa.

Anyways, on a brighter note, the message has been passed across and mama wont be meddling in the future even when you need her to meddle...if there is a future. All of una go dey alright.

Why are you talking nonsense? The woman is destroying to their marriage He need to tell her the truth, if his mum do the same thing she will be cautioned

hammerT:



Y U NO JUST SAY BABA BLESS ME, MAKE I TAKE SCHNAP BLIND BOTH YOUR EYES?


ABI U NO WAN SEE BETTER THING?

Abeg grow up

Wawelexy:
You goofed up from the start, but never too late tho, allow her go, pretend to be nonchalant about her absence, fake a close relationship with a female friend or random girl, only send money for your child/children's upkeep, and make sure you look happy always...


Her brain will come back to reset and she will realise she's giving out her food to the dogs by herself.... Please don't cheat on her

Me no go send 1 naira. Send waitin!!! Make she come use me shine

MrBrownJay1:
you should have done that the FIRST time the mother interfered in your family matters...11yrs of letting her mother believe she was in charge, is way too long and now a waste of energy to try to correct it.

Better late than never

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

leave her. Let her go. Wife like that can't never change again. Her eyes will soon open. Her mama is her husband. Does she has a father?

Nebes:
Such holds are first broken spiritually. Attempts at just physical correction is an exercise in futility.

I remember the beating I gave my inlaw in a dream as they were instigating quarrels in my home. The next day after the beating, they called their daughter for a meeting and advised her to go live in peace in her home. You could actually feel they were forced to call for that meeting.

This here is the very reason Africa is a Sh1thole..
No body got sense to solve issues..
Everything na spiritual..

[quote author=22rockbottom post=123386212]Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

That's what am facing right now.
My mother in law scattered my marriage. It really pains me

Okealaaye:
Allow her go! That's one less burden for you. The mother-in-law cannot be Mistress in her own house and be Madam in yours! Do not panic, because she's coming back and when does, it'll be on your terms. Do not bother about what people say - their opinions and whatever they say count for nothing in your marriage. If you lose your grip on your destiny now, for your destiny is at stake here, then the man in you has become impotent.

It's not easy to let go I know of things like this he should just use wisdom on matters on ground

MrBrownJay1:
you should have done that the FIRST time the mother interfered in your family matters...11yrs of letting her mother believe she was in charge, is way too long and now a waste of energy to try to correct it.

Means What? He should let it be Forever?

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

My brother have personally handled issues like this some yrs past and all went well. Please just apply wisdom and you'll be alright last last

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

Why waiting for 11 years before doing the needful?

bantilosha:
Don't ever call that kid you call wife to return. If she does, fine. If she doesn't, let her remain with her domineering mother. I won't even have anything to do with a woman that dumb. Even if she returns, stand your masculine ground and tell her you won't tolerate that nonsense ever again. Men are the price.

You are right bro.