why the hell would you want to quarrel with your wifes mother....??
you will always loose....

you dont know that....

better go apologize to her mother,even if the mother was wrong,than comin on nairaland talkin rubbish....

can you fight your own mother and win....??

Story, I know men who put their feet down after 10 years of this and still triumph. It's never too late, just make sure you maintain the energy, they will bow last last.

superCleanworks:


You want to start mixing the cement after it has turned to a rock. good luck with that.

iamjavadem:
Story, I know men who put their feet down after 10 years of this and still triumph. It's never too late, just make sure you maintain the energy, they will bow last last.

life is not always only about winnin or who is right....

their are situations you just have to let slide....

iamjavadem:
Story, I know men who put their feet down after 10 years of this and still triumph. It's never too late, just make sure you maintain the energy, they will bow last last.

i have already wished him GOOD LUCK.

That a man , first she should go to her sons house ,one woman is enough IED to defuse , having another, a mother inlaw is like defusing a redundant IED with a Mercury switch mixed witha gravity switch

CondenseMilk:


Does her Mom also control her when una wan do?

of cause she does, such women usually teaches thier daughters how to use sec as a weapon against men.

madridguy:
So this is spiritual problem?

No one can really tell.but It can turn out to be spiritually orchestrated.. Grow up sir.

Good morning in the evening of your marriage.

Pray, pray, pray. Prayer changes things especially in this kind of matter.

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

Ur mother-in-law don't have a house of her own? 😏

Na see finish dey cause all these things... A strong man will never be at mercy of any woman, get another wife or gf and focus on your hustle. no let woman stress you for these life.

Wodu89:
You managed to spin the narrative that the mother in law is evil. Share the core details of what happened and stop trying to tell the tale with you as the victim in it


Watch fools begin to vilify the woman and her family.

Hypocrite

You are looking like the fool now.. already jumping into conclusion with insults without waiting to hear even the "complete one side" of the story talk more of the complete picture.

Are you saying there no bad people?
Is it impossible fir a mother inlaw to be bad?

bantilosha:
Don't ever call that kid you call wife to return. If she does, fine. If she doesn't, let her remain with her domineering mother. I won't even have anything to do with a woman that dumb. Even if she returns, stand your masculine ground and tell her you won't tolerate that nonsense ever again. Men are the price.

My man I pity the guy I'm in same dillema but mine is sister in-law,my wife left my house 4 months now,me beg her Lue lie,I can't beg cos I no do anything but coming back my house is after 2 years.thats the penalty for cheating bro I no lie you I'm cheating now,from consolation to romance

TrainPark:
You are looking like the fool now.. already jumping into conclusion with insults without waiting to hear even the "complete one side" of the story talk more of the complete picture.

Are you saying there no bad people?
Is it impossible fir a mother inlaw to be bad?

Go to page 4 to find OP'S confession that he acted irrationally in this.

If you have read at least 5 of these sort of stories on Nairaland you should at least be able to spot the general pattern, almost fixed, of many of these sob stories. When an OP comes in claiming victim and lampooning others, know right there and then something is amiss and it is almost always that the storyteller is not being honest. If computer programs are intelligently able to identify these patterns why not human beings?

akpunda86:
■ My man I pity the guy I'm in same dillema but mine is sister in-law,my wife left my house 4 months now,me beg her Lue lie,I can't beg cos I no do anything but coming back my house is after 2 years. thats the penalty for cheating bro I no lie you I'm cheating now,from consolation to romance

You cheated on your wife and she left you and you continued with your cheating?

purehustle101:
Na see finish dey cause all these things... A strong man will never be at mercy of any woman, get another wife or gf and focus on your hustle. no let woman stress you for these life.

.confirm man I don move on wify begging to come back now islate till after 2 years,if my girl friend carry belle she will become the second wife cos she left house on her own

I set the boundaries from the very first day my wife entered my house, cos I notice that same family domineering attitude of her family. Till date they dont get involved in any of my issues...

22rockbottom:
I was really rude about the confrontation. I was angry and below is why I was angry.

Both my in-laws came to our house, though I knew they were coming but I wasn't cool with it because they were with us last year December/January this year then now. My wife knew I wasn't cool with it but she never cares. We were both sleeping on the same bed but weren't talking. We had an issue one night and she went to report me to her parents, but her parents never call me to ask for my side of the story. That made me more angry so I left the house in the middle of the night. Guess what, I was away for 2nights and both my wife and my in-laws were not bother. They didn't even call. That made me more furious. So I spoke to her rudely.

You are also wrong to have spoken rudely to them.

I think she feels you have no regard for her parents so she sees no reason to regard you!

Two wrongs don't make a right. You owe them an apology the same way she owes you an apology.

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

Good riddance to bad rubbish. You never had a wife for 11 past years. You were just a prisoner in one of the embassies of some crooked in-laws. Embrace your freedom or kiss it goodbye - the choice is yours..

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

You mean after 11 years your wife still thinks more about her mother than you? Then she can stay where she went to.

Karemarealty288:
I set the boundaries from the very first day my wife entered my house, cos I notice that same family domineering attitude of her family. Till date they dont get involved in any of my issues...

The Kain women wey dey marry your kind, na wa!

Exceed15:


Beg who

The bitter truth is that OP lacks human management if he marries 1000 babes it will always result in this. And this matter doesn't worth a divorce

I have same challenges after a year of my marriage, my wife sis start detailing for my wife telling her how to runs her home negatively , as a guy man I firstly challenge her in spiritual aspects before take it in physical rhymes, at the end she gave up and left us alone till now she’s scared of me like a beasts.

#Modify where u dey wen the thing first dey happen? You act fact immediately u smell a rat cos marriage na everlasting school institution, no lose guard.

What you can't confront,you will never conquer . You have done the needful and surely the woman and her daughter will see the reality. Never bother your mind for telling the truth . It may be bitter but that is what we all need to be freed from bondage .Enjoy your life as you await their next reaction. If your wife chooses to remain with her mother forever ,then see it as a deliverance and enjoy your peace . Don't let marriage become a land of bondage for you. Our lives on earth are too short to be wasted on needless troubles

Let her go and don't beg her. Though you waited too long in holding your ground. Las las she will be someone else baby mama

udemzyudex:


So he should continue tolerating it since it had turn to rock?

Abi oh. Wen excavator dey ....

22rockbottom:
Good Evening,

I got married 11years ago, my mother in-law has always in the picture of everything in our home and has total control of my wife. My wife cannot object anything she says even when I, as her husband challenged it. 90% of the major issues we had as a couple were caused by my mother in-law. After 11years, I decided to confront her to stop controlling her daughter and stop interfering in our marriage and home. I confronted her and my wife left the house. Her reason for leaving the house is that I disrespected her family.

more details later

Don't bother yourself, you're on your way to your freedom. Don't chicken out easily it'sany be a little bumpy but surely your freedom is just some days or week ahead. It's very painful foe a man of over 11 years of marriage not to be able to control his family. Don't call her , let her be and send her message never to return to your house again. They will be the ones to beg you. Let your ego be a little bit refreshed.

Meanwhile for every true man here in this platform we have all passed through that stage one way or the other and that's how we got our respect from our inlaws. That's when you're called a man.

Shut whatever person you need to shut up on the other side to gain your freedom. I got mine after telling my brother in-law not to step my house again. I called my mother inlaw and told her that " when you give someone a goat, you also give him the rope" so mama I have married your daughter pls allow her to concentrate otherwise you will see her next week in your house. She didn't like it and she doesn't have to like it but she got the message and since then things changed. Abegi relax yourself

Perhaps the next criteria will be for men and women to marry from families that actually have things doing.

Can't imagine anyone who has a job, profession or business that will have the time to snoop around his or her married children consistently.

Most will be glad to rid themselves of the children that have bothered them for decades and perhaps inhibited their personal aspirations to certain degrees.

Don't marry from indolent families. It rubs off.

Kobojunkie:
The Kain women wey dey marry your kind, na wa!

Well it cuts both ways. Will any woman like to marry the in-laws, the man's 'domineering' family as well.....

Lol.. 11 years toto still de do guy? Na wa

ThatCEO:


After 11 years, he has more than earned d right to say whatever.

Those so called elderly, wen dem don fok up n u put them in their places, dey will never address what u said, they will say u insulted fhem.

I have been there too many times, anybody go collect. No b me n u go dey do diplomacy.

Na d guy mumu, I for than scatter that table tey tey.

if u never had the right or balls b4 u can never earn the right just because u think her daughter has lived with u for 11 years.

Her daughter obviously lives with him because of her mum not because of he was in control of the situation like he wants to change now. He will only rock boat and the peaceful situation or system his family has been in.

Did he not envisaged his wife would revolt against his attacks on her mum?

some men think it's my house my rules bt when ur married its our house not ur house.

22rockbottom:
I was actually rude about the confrontation. I was angry and below is why I was angry.

Both my in-laws came to our house, though I knew they were coming but I wasn't cool with it because they were with us last year December/January this year then now. My wife knew I wasn't cool with it but she never cares. We were both sleeping on the same bed but weren't talking. We had an issue one night and she went to report me to her parents, but her parents never call me to ask for my side of the story. That made me more angry so I left the house in the middle of the night. Guess what, I was away for 2nights and both my wife and my in-laws were not bother. They didn't even call. That made me more furious. So I spoke to her rudely.

Note: My wife is a sweet soul without the influence of her mother.

ur inlaws can't come and stay in ur house for 1cmonth or 2 without ur consent and ur wife must respect ur decision after both of u discuss issues and come to an agreement on this. it also shouldn't be a unilateral decision that u make cos ure the man, hear her views and reason with her.

Now after doing this and they want to come again which isn't ok with u and there is no special ir important reason for this visit ur wife has to understand the reason for why u need less intrusion. However if they must vist to please her then u could agree on a lesser duration of their stay or smtn.

Basically ur wife isn't a sweet soul if she can't agree on issues with her husband and communicate this to her parents bt it all depends on how u communicate these issues with ur wife. as it stands she doesn't agree with u on any of ur decisions so how is she a sweet soul?

22rockbottom:
I have the balls from day one. I was just trying to avoid this kind of issue. I'm also an introvert and I respect people a lot.

One thing with people like you and me is that we act after much thought.
Sometime its best to react as e dey hot.
My wife sister that came around just for 5 weeks destroy the marriage we both managing though we're still together but we will obvious separate soon.
My mistake is same as yours, I tolerated the sister(s) for sometime before I change am for them but its too late now and my kids would have to experience staying without their mother.
I will be taking the custody which we've both agreed on.
So I'm indirectly saying whatever I said to you to myself also.