LilNetty:
Please I need your candid advice.
My wedding is coming up in some months and I need your advice. My fiancé and her family are insisting on court wedding which I don’t want to object to. I should have moved on but she pregnant. What can I do?

How old are you?

LilNetty:


Thanks for your advice… I can see the red flag as regards controlling me and also taking my stand at the same time am also trying to consider the condition of my Fiance… can you believe they want insist that they will the one to give us the wedding date when we went to for introduction? They got angry when my parent said they will get back to them.

You're the fiancé and she's your fiancée. Court wedding is mainly to help process japa..nothing else in Nigeria wrt losing properties to her. Nigerian system doesn't punish men much, even if you get another wife or side chick. Lastly, any union that won't allow you make or contribute to a decision should be avoided.

Oghene86:


Why are you afraid? Do it there's nothing there, they are only trying to protect their daughter from your family should anything happen to you, nothing more

Why should something happen to you ? What if their daughter starts misbehaving? What is the man's insurance too? Double standards?

Bigmouth3:

With the way nigeria is going and embracing any western culture, don't you think laws regarding that might be going through amendments? Let's say in 20 years time. Don't do it

Na our greedy politicians deh enact laws.
None of them go enact that kind law.
The thing no go even pass first reading.

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tiswell:
bigamy,in the same context with a guy?

You're welcome.

Bigmouth3:

Why should something happen to you ? What if their daughter starts misbehaving? What is the man's insurance too? Double standards?

Misbehave how, if you have proof of misbehave you take her back there are dissolve the marriage

LilNetty:
Please I need your candid advice.

My wedding is coming up in some months and I need your advice. My fiancé and her family are insisting on court wedding which I don’t want to object to. I should have moved on but she pregnant. What can I do?

So why are you scared? You want to abandon her tomorrow abi? That's even the recognised marriage

LilNetty:
At the moment there still a conflict between my family and theirs as regards wedding date. They are insisting that the family of the bride will be the one to pick the wedding date.

They are right

cutecommend:
Court wedding??

Registry

LilNetty:


Thanks for your advice… I can see the red flag as regards controlling me and also taking my stand at the same time am also trying to consider the condition of my Fiance… can you believe they want insist that they will the one to give us the wedding date when we went to for introduction? They got angry when my parent said they will get back to them.

That's a bad family to angry with your parents. That's very disrespectful, use your head 💯

LilNetty:


When they ask me I told them I will do it later after the marriage they said no that they must do all at once and they told me if we won’t be doing it that my wife to be won’t be changing her name.

They are right. What are you afraid of by going to court to legalize your union

LilNetty:


Thanks for your advice… I can see the red flag as regards controlling me and also taking my stand at the same time am also trying to consider the condition of my Fiance… can you believe they want insist that they will the one to give us the wedding date when we went to for introduction? They got angry when my parent said they will get back to them.

Introduction, yes

They are to give you the date and reason being that they will have to inform the elders and know when they will be available for it so as not to suggest date that will inconvenient them... no be them dey marry na you dey come to them...

Regarding this court marriage, guy if you don't stand your ground, I promise you, you go regret the marriage, because you will be controlled

Stand your ground, no marriage, do traditional and lock up if them insist on no traditional, tell them no marriage, or sue them to court, tell court say it's either they allow you marry in peace or they take their daughter and give you the baby

Taaa.. show strong head, with this moves wey you go put up, them go know say you be hard nut to Crack and see as them go hide voices when you marry... never dey soft on ur inlaws during marital periods, do them like say you dey do them a favor in marrying their daughter... no show the said lady love at all

Do like say you wan break up

Use your sense else them go use am for you

LilNetty:
Please I need your candid advice.

My wedding is coming up in some months and I need your advice. My fiancé and her family are insisting on court wedding which I don’t want to object to. I should have moved on but she pregnant. What can I do?

Stop Disturbing people with this . You already said you don't want to object to .. meaning you made your decision so what is the meaning of your questions again Oga..
Abeg shifts.

If you are a man you should be able to know say na inside Trap Dem wan put you as long as that Marriage dey.

Why Court is a must .

Na Court born u , abi wetin concern court with Marriage and Love.

Go for Church and traditional that is all.

Oga Simp U hear

Mikespecialone:
The last woman my popsy date, carry popsy go do court wedding even though she no born for popsy, now popsy die , she travel comot go another country , we won bury popsy for the house wey him build , she no gree , she say na only she wey be the legally married wife get the authority to bury popsy and that’s if she comes back in 5 months later from where she go , make we carry the dead body go mortuary. Court Dey tell us say we no get access to our popsy properties except that woman wey do court wedding with popsy .... Think twice brother , court wedding might favour and it might not favour you

It is well oOoOO, where's the property documents?

Dont you intend to love/marry/live with her forever

LilNetty:


Thanks for your advice… I can see the red flag as regards controlling me and also taking my stand at the same time am also trying to consider the condition of my Fiance… can you believe they want insist that they will the one to give us the wedding date when we went to for introduction? They got angry when my parent said they will get back to them.

Ideally it is the family of the bride that organises wedding and so they are right for choosing the date. However, you and your wife must be on the same page be agreeable to that date. Your family has little say on the date but for they can seek for compromise

Too much wahala on top what? Call their bluff. They don't trust you and that won't change. You are plunging into regrets.

Brother man, that court wedding shouldn't be a problem to you. If that is all that matters do it.

adamma24:


The bride family do not have the power to give u date for ur own introduction...there is no where its been done...these ones go show u wahala and shege promax when u finally get married....now the decision is what you are going to do deep down...within yourself...call your own family and tell them what is going on...better to have a sane marriage than the one full of regret..

I disagree with you. It is the bride's family that organises both introduction and wedding. In developed countries the bride's family bear the entire cost. So, if they now decide on a date, it is for your family to seek for a compromise as it is their right.

It's the family of bride that pick date and what's scaring you about court marriage. U have skeleton in your cupboard?

Mikespecialone:
The last woman my popsy date, carry popsy go do court wedding even though she no born for popsy, now popsy die , she travel comot go another country , we won bury popsy for the house wey him build , she no gree , she say na only she wey be the legally married wife get the authority to bury popsy and that’s if she comes back in 5 months later from where she go , make we carry the dead body go mortuary. Court Dey tell us say we no get access to our popsy properties except that woman wey do court wedding with popsy .... Think twice brother , court wedding might favour and it might not favour you

She is right in the eyes of the law. It is the spouse that has the say when it comes to the burial of their partner and not the children.

Confirmedzombie:
My brother court marriage isn't bad. Most parents insist court marriage to protect their daughter in her husbands home.

Most men marry and tend to marry more wives.

But with court marriage you can't marry another wife except you divorce the earlier one.

Also husband families can be wicked. In the event their son dies, they tend to take everything their son has from the wife but with court marriage no such access.

If you truly love the girl, I advice you do the court wedding, nothing to fear here at all.

My major worry here is the decision of her parents to pick a date fir you. I sense they have a mission.

Nobody has the power to pick a date for you. Only you have the powers.

My advice, is that you involve your family in the court wedding issue.

Let your family stand by you that you are not ready for it now so it won't be as if you are taken the decision alone.

Believe me, court wedding is very good. It makes marriage sweet. No matter what you do you can't marry another wife except you divorce this one first.

Fear not bro, if you love her and she loves you, go ahead.

Once you marry, try to live very far away from her family and your family too.

Shalom

Mumu dey worry you
Why should it always be incase the son dies,na you wan Kill am ? Why should an African man be tamed from having a second wife. What if the first wife becomes too comfortable and starts misbehaving because women tend to when they have any atom of power .okay let's say that's the woman's security and insurance, what about the man's insurance ? So he should go into a marriage with both hands tied, he can't have a second wife or have an affair ,he can't inherit the woman's property because obviously an average nigerian wife has nothing. He is required to die first too Haba .this western way of marriage will kill you all. What happened to our traditional marriage ? A woman that is loyal will get more than that from the husband but if she is disloyal, you throw her back to the street.

That is cool.
That makes the marriage legal by law.
Are you afraid of something?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aordaTsyy2M

LilNetty:
At the moment there still a conflict between my family and theirs as regards wedding date. They are insisting that the family of the bride will be the one to pick the wedding date.

of course na d bride family dey decide wedding dates

Backlinker01:
They simply want her security. Do the right thing bro.

What of the man's security

BeigJawnson:


Yes they have every right to say that. The birthed their daughter...

If you love your wife, whole heartedly, do the registry... By then, she is now your wife completely, however you have taken the bull by the horn.

Maybe later in the future, they want their daughter to come visit them, it is you that will tell them the time for her to go see them or not.

Stupid men everywhere
What do you mean by love wholeheartedly, those that continue yo divorce daily ,didn't they and they're wife love each other wholeheartedly?
What do you mean by take the bull by the horn.are you betting against you ?
Why should an African man be tamed against having a second wife ? If you bring g
Him peace, why should he look outside ?
What of the man's security if the woman starts misbehaving? Answer me ,what is the man's security if the woman starts misbehaving?

Smartgeek:
Why you no want court wedding? Do you plan on engaging in bigamy?

I can foresee authority from my wife and family … even for the wedding she insisting I will be the one to take care of her fathers outfit for the wedding

being:
What's so special about court marriage? Are u planning to elope after the marriage nii? Court marriage is what gives the most legal backing and protection to the marriage and to the woman.. If she is really the one you want to marry, I don't see any issues with it doing it b4 the trad and white wedding

What gives protection to the man too?have you ever thought of that ? Because most times the woman comes in with nothing and can divorce you anytime

TableLeg:


How old are you?

What does that have to do with anything?you want to size him up ?
What have your old age done for you ?even fools get old

Cmanforall:



Are you marrying her because of the pregnancy?

Please answer this question for further pieces of advice

You can also tell you'd age or estimated age

Am not marrying her because of pregnancy, she’s 28 and am 30. I got to know the parent’s behavior recently , it’s the bride mother that is insisting on everything,