queensmith: I really pity Nigerian women living in Nigeria, look at the men you have to marry. . . . . its a dem shame *smh*

Ghana isn't that far. . . . . . .

acidtalk: This is currently a hot gist at a particular new generation bank on the Island.

A female staff of the bank came in yesterday (Thursday) all sweaty, sad and completely weighed down. Initially her friend thought that her disheveled look was due to the traffic she faced while coming to work and thought that she would get over it after getting a rest before resumption of office duties.

By 1p.m it was even worse as the said lady kept on crying, vomiting and complaining of headache and stomach pain. With much inquiries and persuasion from her close colleagues, she bursted out in tears and said "he has impregnated her".

This sent confusion to her colleagues who were consoling her but with further findings, it was learnt madam's husband has impregnated their 20years old maid (house girl).

The lady was sober because she claimed her husband threw the whole fault on her saying his actions were as a result of are not being home always and neglected him to concentrate on her banking career.

Saddest part of the story is due to the bank's policy, she can't get pregnant until after 2years of confirmation. She has only been confirmed 9months ago and only got married 11months (exactly a year next month).

Is this kind of situation what's the best advice for both the man and woman?

Mature Contributions only or else make use of the "BACK" button to return to previews page.

egoldman: I do not support the man , but let me say this : if the woman does not have time for the man for a very long time and the maid is always the one "available" for him , then she has some level of blame on her side .
every man is not the same , the sex drive and control of all men are not the same ,my wife sometimes does this too , it doesn't make me to desire another woman , but as i said some men cant keep up with such for prolong period of time .
As i type this my wife has gone to bed , its 11pm and we have not jived since Monday or Tuesday, if i tell her about it now , she would say she is tired, i can deal with this and wait for her , but some men can not .

2buff:

Business, my friend.
It doesn't do well for business to have someone on an important case and then have them go on mat leave half way through.
It stresses any business (and the team involved who also have lives of their own) out.

A way to look at it is, as a new recruit in the army who has to go through some bootcamp tings, do you go and get yourself pregnant and take mat leave?
It means you really don't care about your military career.

Some things require you to make certain sacrifices per time. As long as it is not forever, it's a perfectly reasonable request.
There needs to be communication and understanding between spouses about these things, as I'm sure they did.

NOW THAT BEING SAID...

That doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun with your hubby. Contraception is great for family planning and will come in nicely here.
Hopefully she didn't "turn off" all together, otherwise she would have contributed to the situation a bit.

NOW THAT ALSO BEING SAID...

Her husband is selfish

goldenboi:

Accept another womans child?? SMH for you ooo....

technically, they both need to sit down n figure out how this is goin to work out...

would quitting her job mean the man wouldnt cheat on her again?? what happens to the child?

All depends on this lady now and what she wants...

She's not yet pregnant, so she can call the marriage quits n concentrate on her career or sumtin else.

Let her jst pick up the pieces of her life n move on....the guy is showing no remorse, so its not worth it.

Tyche: The man fuc.ked up big time, did he 4got she was a banker before they got married?
The lady should not be too quick to divorce him; the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.
The hubby failed the eleventh commandment; thou shall not be caught.

sosoluv: He wasn't man enough for her

Lexoria:


imagine that?The Bunch of boffons.I pity my sister and cousins who might end up with these dimwit heads of men.It really sad.;(

Lexoria:


imagine that?The Bunch of boffons.I pity my sister and cousins who might end up with these dimwit heads of men.It really sad.;(

omega25red: Divorce is the only option here. she has a career and she is making money. she doesn't need this looser. was she sleeping at the bank? did she bank for 24 hour 7 days a week? hi s excuse is ridiculos and she would be a fool if she stays.

Also she can't blame the house help because its not her fault. All blame shoud squarly be on that usless man who knew that she is a banker and agreed to marry her and cheated on her without even wearing a condom (he cheated and a condom will at least protect his wife if he got a disease).

United_abby: ahan!and what the hell makes you think the banker wife hasnt being opening her legs for prospective clients of the bank in which she works?let us not play naive to the fact that most banks use virtually every female staff of theirs to attract new investors.infact,most of them give huge financial targets to these girls coupled with conditions/agreement prior to employment that they wont marry or give birth to their own kids for a fixed period of time(usualy years)so as not to lose/reduce their market value.i'm not in anyway trying to justify what the dude did.i condem his act but at the same time,it'l be unfair to throw all the fault on him i.e. For inpregnating their maid because it only takes two to tangle in which ever angle we look at it.you girls,from all indication appears to be bias and feministic to a significant extent in your verdicts.you also adviced her to quit the marriage.i dont advocate that at all because its for better or worse isnt it?she should prayerfully find a way to patch up things.have you all forgotn the marriage vows?telling her to exit her marriage have grave consequences.as a saying goes,"look before you leap"

But_one_day: What a Zap? The woman don't fuk up big time, so what is the essence of getting married. All dis bankers sef, may be dey (managers) want to take their turn b/4 she would took in. Who knows? Banker ke, banker ni.

But_one_day: Angry listener? Case closed, let the man marry the maid and let the wife go for a divorce, if she can't bear it simple.

omosexy1: A made up story. No bank in Nigeria has such policy else you are referring to a bank outside the country.

breegal :
dis is a two way tin B.T.W.....dis is wre crious communication comes in you dont xpct d woman 2 just give in 2 divorce lik dat...buh if i wre in her shoe i wuld accept d child..........get back 2 my job.....send d girl parkn.......and work on my mariage.

2buff:

Business, my friend.
It doesn't do well for business to have someone on an important case and then have them go on mat leave half way through.
It stresses any business (and the team involved who also have lives of their own) out.

A way to look at it is, as a new recruit in the army who has to go through some bootcamp tings, do you go and get yourself pregnant and take mat leave?
It means you really don't care about your military career.

Some things require you to make certain sacrifices per time. As long as it is not forever, it's a perfectly reasonable request.
There needs to be communication and understanding between spouses about these things, as I'm sure they did.

NOW THAT BEING SAID...

That doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun with your hubby. Contraception is great for family planning and will come in nicely here.
Hopefully she didn't "turn off" all together, otherwise she would have contributed to the situation a bit.

NOW THAT ALSO BEING SAID...

Her husband is selfish

chuksbogus: do u guys know what it is dat some one is fulfilling,ur needs?wen the man is hungry ,who gives him food the maid,wen the man is thirsty who give him food the maid,when the mans cloth is dirty who washes them,the maid,who irons them, the maid,who help the man chose cloths to wear out,the maid,who makes his bed the maid,who does he jist with at home,themaid. 70 or more percent of this mans life is run by d maid.can anybody tell me why dis man wonth have affection for here and d matter may have made worse if the maid is a dilligent,respectful one.i have an aunt this type of thing would have ruined but my dad caught iton time and warned her,she has to resigne and went into business.guys dis people leaves house by 5.30,or 6 and come back by 9,the day they balance their transactions on time and some days 11pm,who knows in the ladys bid not to get preg she must have been avoiding d man sexuall.anyway,she have to correct her errors ,if not ,even if she marries another man it will still happen

amnesty7:
YOu are really and agent of Satan.