Mrs.Oyibo:

Well said Davidylan!

i agree.

why anyone is calling me ignorant is beyond me - overstaying by 2 days, 5 years or 7 years is overstaying.

the point about the staff is funny - what so they should employ illegals so that they can treat u better as only they can understand ur plight.

sick stupid man - tomorrow he will say the 3 year old tempted him.

these men should be tortured b4 kiling them. sick of these stories

i truely believe that this is a miracle not doubting that as God obviously told this baby that he wasn't quite ready for him but there is an element of science that does explain it partially as well and i think its called the kangaroo effect - the whole skin to skin contact thing.

Anyway there is a reason why they call pregnancy and childbirth the miracle of life - COS IT REALLY IS!!

another "life abroad" bashing topic.

as much as i want to feel for you - i imagine deportation is not a nice thing to go thru - i don't really get the point of ur rant. U overstayed and ur shouting about human rights, maybe i'm not getting the connection and someone can correct me but if you committed an offence and found guilty then what is the complaint - 5 years or 7 years u overstayed.

Ur even lucky ur in the UK from what i have heard if u were arested in the states on th 27th of July u would be in MMA by the 29th of July.

sorry if i don't sound sympathetic and all the best.

the couple should be jailed for life, but please lets not let the parents or family of these children off scott free, why do people continue to have children they cannot feed only to love-vendor them out to better off families to be bona fide slaves,

as for the person making the sweeping comment about Anambra people - gosh are people still this thoughtless.

sorry i know its an old topic but can someone please help me understand why this goes on.

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/africa/08/25/nigeria.child.witches/index.html#fbid=WfRne1Es8Ao&wom=false

http://edition.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2010/08/26/purefoy.nigeria.child.witches.pt2.cnn

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/africa/08/25/nigeria.witches/index.html?hpt=C2#fbid=WfRne1Es8Ao&wom=false

mortgage of 99 years damn i missed out on that one b4 the credit crunch

people should not be insulted cos of where they choose to live. I'm still going to harp on about a system that enables all to access healthcare irrespective of the size of the pocket. I don't know why people think its ok to die simply cos they are poor and don't get me started on the modern day slavery of househelps and other help people seem to harp on about. The way these human beings are spoken to and treated is just pathetic to witness.

Congrats stages and congrats to ur sister arlington. labour is not easy o and i'm not looking forward to it. I have too many sisters also and they have already told me they will spoil my child - no problem at least I also have free baby sitters - lol!!

congrats again ladies, God is with us all

buzugee:

your attempt to distance yourself from the stark reality of life in england is laughingly comical. you dont know people like these ? you dont know nigerians who earn 250 pounds a week ? you have never met nigerians with no papers ? the only people you have met are locum doctors ? you are trying too hard and it makes me wonder if in fact you are hiding something. you tryna overcompensate 

i honestly don't know what your problem is - i did not grow up in nigeria - neither did my siblings or any of my friends. my non- nigerian friends all grew up here, if one has a professional job that is the circle of friends u will keep, i don't personally know people who don't have papers and i don't see why i should go out of my way to find them just to have the reality of life in england bestowed on me. yes i know there are people like this just as their are asians and other africans with these same problems.

trying to hide something really online is it so hard to believe that some of your fellow country men and women abroad are doing ok and have no desire to return to a country that stopped being home for them and their children years ago. Trust me adjusting to life in nigeria is not easy just like adjusting to life in any other country will not be easy - but if a nigerian says it then all many of abuse is rained down on them.

as defensive as I sound u also fail to address the poverty aspect of my post. picking on the fact that i only know doctors is also strange. the simple fact of the matter is just as u are trying to show us that people are enjoying back home people are also ok here. as someone has already noted here what exactly is your point. In america there are people who also die from lack of access to good healthcare just as there are people who have six 2010 SUVs parked outside their mansions - that is the way of the world - but u don't ant to face the reality of the fact that the majority of people are poor in nigeria  and no one is doing anything to develop a welfare system that ensure women do not die in childbirth - or u want to ignore the known fact that nigeria has the 2ND HIGHEST MATERNAL MORTALITY RATE IN THE WORLD but i guess this is ok cos u know people that earn N20million and live in gated communities.

this most nigerians that don't have papers and earn £1k a month - really cos i don't know people like this - although my circle of friends consists of few nigerians I do have african friends and they are all doing fairly well and have their papers in tact so honestly this song people are alwasy singing of everyone abroad is cleaning toilet is false.

My consultant is nigerian and one of the locum GP's in my doctors is nigerian i doubt they are cleaning toilets on the side to eat 3 times a day. I guess it just depends on what one is exposed to on a daily basis. If people don't want to go "home" why is that such a crime - no one crucifies those that choose to leave nigeria so why so much venom and insult for those that have a life elsewhere.

the fact that people keep talking of how the well off live in nigeria and choose to ignore the plight of the majority who live a life engulfed in poverty is truely sad.

Aloy+Emeka:

You don't get it, do you?. Apart from the North, other Nigerian cultures enjoy oppressing the poor and bullying them with their wealth. 2face's concert is not worth $125 and Beyonce's concert was not worth $700. They don't receive that amount per head anywhere in the world apart from a 3rd world country like Nigeria.
No, Nigerians don't have money. A country where about 20% of the population can afford to feed themselves 3x a day is not one where someone can claim[b] they have their money[/b]. The few priviledged ones are the ones over paying for concerts like this. That is why crime is on top of the chart in Nigeria.

I agree with you tho that we have no right to tell others how to spend their money even if na from 419 or govt treasuries.

abeg say it cos many people just don't get it.

typical,

i don tire for una

u all are right - naija is the best country in the world!! everyone is enjoying their life.

buzugee:

just because you lived in mushin when you were in naija doesn't make everyones experience the same as yours. if you ask sasha obama what her opinion of america is, she will have glowing things to say. but go to the hood and ask the kids their opinion of america then you will get a scathing report.
i think it all comes down to economic perspectives here. your negativity induced by your mushin outlook is very understandable. but rest assured that this is only your experience 

too funny - so cos i see poverty around me it means i live is mushin - don't even know where that is (almost got confused with the muslin squares i bought today- anyway i digress) - are u telling me that people living in lekki and ikoyi never see people hawking - u think obama's kids are not aware of ghettos in the states. u think when i was sitting in my AC'd car being driven around PH makes me blind to the plight of the poor, u make me laugh in french.

i'm sure the worse and best university's in this country can provide their students with taps to wash their hands and hostels where students can use the toilet and flush - we all know that many hostels in unis back home struggle to provide this - oh i forgot the private university again that the majority attend are up to world class standard hence we have the influx of foreign students killing themselves to get a degree here.

someone has a difference of opinion and as a typical Nigerian u try and insult someone on a monetary level. and then one wonders why i don't want my child exposed to this mentality.

gosh i'm sounding so defensive, anyway i know life is not fair and there will always be rich and poor in any society but I personally do not like the level of poverty in Nigeria it is disturbing on too many levels and has left the people open to all sorts of manipulation and frustrations and decay of morals. I really don't know why people seem happy to say that there are private unis/schools and top private hospitals and gated communities and the like and think its ok that people are dying of simple illnesses - come on people it is not right and deep down u know it.

salamsm:

wow ada24

there is no way in this world that my child will every see the inside of a classroom in nigeria world class or not
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sense a bit of naivety. Classroom in Nigeria? I can't help but laugh at such Generalization.

Nigeria has a lot of private schools which offer good education. There are a number of them in places like Abuja and Lagos to name a few.

Probably even safer than some American classroom where a boy comes in with a gun and hunts down his classmates like it was the name of the game.

did u read what i said - it is not just facilities. why the gun argument has to come into the equation is beyond me as if it happens on a daily basis- as if kids don't get kidnapped on their way to school in nigeria again - my bad - that doesn't happen to the kids that attend these private schools as most of the nigerian population send their kids to these schools.

anyway how and where people decide where to send their child goes is up to them if from  experiences they decide to not send their child to nigeria then that is up to the responsible parent. i don't want my child coming home one day asking me "mummy why are those children hawking on the street instead of attending school like me" or asking "why do people sneak in micro chips (sorry i'm telling my age here if people don't use this slang anymore) when they are taking exams" or "mummy why did that teacher fail me cos i didn't buy his book"

abeg like i have said good and bad in every country. as for those that are ok - God forbid u need specialist care and ur cash flow just happens to be a bit low at the same time - what then - are u people honestly saying its ok for poor people to die from malaria cos of money or women should die in childbirth cos of lack of funds to give birth in these top hospitals. i prefer a situation where when times are good and bad for a person i will not be turned away from A&E cos i don't have the funds to deposit for treatment.

nigerian education system is NOT world class - what the system in nigeria gives the youth is a sense of discipline and an appreciation of what education can do for you. please tell me who can get a job in an investment bank in the UK or US with their naija degree when they are faced with an competing applicant from good unis from the same countries, we all know that the majority come here to study for their masters after their first degree from the so called world class unis from back home - I have attended one of these and just the living conditions alone are not up to par for human beings to live in - or should students build hostels for themselves as well.

I don't know why people can't see that there is good and bad in every country and if one decides to live in a country that they are happy in then why insult those that are here. abeg - there is no way in this world that my child will every see the inside of a classroom in nigeria world class or not. Its not just facilities that worry me but a mentality that I have seen among people during my brief stay.

as for those that go on holiday and love naija to death - i used to feel the same until i lived there a while, i used to feel the same when i went to america - but holiday and living in a country are completely different things.

omo~fat:

^^^ This joker is actually writing from the UK o

LMAO

nairaland always making me laugh.

abeg - naija is not suited to everyone we should just try to understand that, those that like organisation and structure in their lives will not cope - those expats u talk of trust me they don't live like normal nigerians and cos of the colo mentality that some people have back home - a nobody in the west is made to feel like he is special in nigeria.

by the way people get treated for serious illnesses in england as well, not saying this place is heaven but the examples u use are not in proportion to what really goes on - lets not even start on the education one u used.

There are many reasons why people are reluctant to return home, for those with young children their reasons will differ to those who are single and starting out in life, to those who are nearing retirement.

Lets be honest Nigeria is only enjoyable if you have money - as someone who has grown up in a society where healthcare is free to all at the point of contact I find it very disturbing that people who do not have the financial means to good healthcare can die from very preventable health problems and people are not given information on how to prevent health problems cos hospitals both private and government don't provide free educational leaflets for patients but are more worried about ensuring you pay your deposit before treatment.

I find it disturbing that young children are selling all kinds of things on trays on their head from daybreak to sunset to help their parents feed them instead of spending time in school getting an education.

yes someone can be working for an oil company and earning N20million but that same person will still send their kids to school abroad, seek medical attention abroad even in India. I don't know about you but I find it a bit weird that if you live well in Nigeria u are fearful of armed robbers or kidnappers, and living with a massive security presence (mopo and electric fencing around your house).

Even this culture that people talk about and morals - don't make me laugh.

There are good things about Nigeria but please lets not forget we are approaching 2011, I don't know how people think things I am an
about to list are not important, like constant water and electricity, good roads, a society that gives all opportunity to progress no matter who u know or who ur father is, well equipped schools and hospitals, politicians working for the people and not what percentage their quaterly increase in salary should be, a society where women and children have rights and the police protect and serve.

Not all Nigerians who live abroad grew up in Nigeria and they have every right to complain about these things. Yes you can get all these things I have mentioned above but only if you have the money to provide it. Why everything has to boil down to money in naija is another topc for another day.

All I know is that one can live a safe comfortable life outside nigeria on an okay salary, send their kids to a good school not worried about anyone kidnapping them or their child(ren) cos they happen to have bought a 2010 model SUV and live in a nice house in a nice area. Like I have already mentioned u can also have these things in Nigeria but really how many people live like this out of an estimated 150million.

I'm not here trying to bash nigeria and i'm sure there will be many who will decide to insult or say that i'm talking crap but everybody is entitled to their opinion. Not everyone wants to return home especially if you have a life in another country - its not so easy.

spiritual - ummm so what is the reason for the non-nigerians that have miscarriage?

there are a number of (medical) reasons that are backed up by medical proffessionals such as,

Genetic, Hormonal, Structural, Blood clotting disorders and Infections.

Not that I will question anyone's belief system but this is part of the problem in Nigeria - instead of seeking medical aid people go to pastors when really it is a medical problem that can be sorted out with the right treatment and careful monitoring

i googled this topic yesterday and have to say that the reasons I have found from various sources cannot be solely attributed to the government alone.

i have posted this link so that others can read, i don't think its solely down to poverty as this article suggests but where u have a system of money b4 health this cannot be fair or right.

http://www.equityhealthj.com/content/7/1/11

http://www.consultancyafrica.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=358&Itemid=206

personally a country that has the wealth like nigeria should be very ashamed - 2nd highest in the world, just too sad.

hi all, i am here, had a couple of scares over the past week but I am grateful that the baby is fine its only mummy that feels horrible.

I find out the gender next week, can't wait. Pregnacare is an ante natel vitamin tablet, you have to take it with food thou cos it will upset ur stomach if u don't eat (i'm talking from experience).

I think i have spoken here about my issues but I want you ladies TTC to stay positive and prayful - like i have previous stated I have fibroids (multiple) and PCOS, both of which u know make it hard to conceive. It is only through God that I am pregnant cos i didn't take any medicine to help me conceive.

remained blessed all.

Arlington:

Hello hello,
My peace has said not to start the hunt looking for her she has gone to write exams i wish you good luck mypeace
Stages ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh update us i begggg.
Me today's update heart burn more heart burn and i am thankful to God

yes i have been getting that as well, not really bothering me for now as the stomach pain is just something else.

Baby is fine had a scare yesterday, but baby is fine and I thank God. 20 weeks tomorrow.

people are dying of hunger and lack of access to medicine in nigeria and ur concern here is how chickens are being transported. na wah o!

so what are boys meant to be doing in the house

na wah o - and this will be the same boy that will grow up and expect the wife to be joint breadwinner and not help her in the home.

if i have a son he will be taught to cook and tidy the house. wow i wonder - if in 2010 u are asking this that means parents are still rasing boys that do nothing in the home and have their sisters bring them water to wash their hands when they want to eat garri

Kobojunkie:

Dude . . . I responded to your Claims that even with our current track record, an increase would be in our good and this same government which has failed the day is to blame for the reason why Nigeria is yet to reach it's potential will suddenly wake up or something.

No, that is not rational in anyway. What we NEED right now is not look at what countries like Russia or Japan are doing in their own situation but look at our situation and create a taylor made solution for our own problem. We do not have the same problem Europe, russia, Japan etc have at this point. We fail to admit that China had at some point SOLVE it's Population issue, rather we want to compare ourselves with the final RESULT of that solution.

We cannot even maintain what we have now, I don't see how GROWING will make it all go away, or create opportunities(NOTE: these opportunities ALREADY EXIST and have been for decades now)as you claim. We ought to apply common sense to real life. If anything, we need NOW to drastically educate people on the benefits of having smaller family units, before this overtakes us. 75% of our population currently lives on less than $2 a day, and the figures have RISEN, with population increase, over the last decade. How can an INCREASE help improve that?

ABI!!!!!!!!!!!! just look at the decay of morals, crime and corruption embedded in Nigeria - u think that comes from access to basic human needs for all. when people are fighting to survive the day or try and find money to eat 1 meal a day is it 300 million that will improve this situation.

people are talking of foreign investment - u think these oil companies can go to a developed nation and do what they have done to the Niger delta and get away with it and u think the Chinese and Lebanese are the ones to treat Nigerians as human beings in their own country.

where a child can die of malaria cos the parents can't afford N500 tablets, kids are hawking on the street cos the parents don't have money to put them in school or worse still some people pump out these children with the sole aim of being child workers. I am not saying the poor should not have children but if you can't afford 2 meals a day let alone 3 u have no business bringing more than 1 child into this world to suffer.

Lady dee I seriously understand what you are saying about schooling in the UK but remember we grew up here and turned out well, i can speak the same for my siblings. I personally do not want my child that i am carrying now to grow up in London maybe a nice area outside London in one of the surrounding counties but definitely not London.

Like you said the rot in the society in this country is so bad that i am scared that no matter how good my parenting skills might be the rif raf they meet at school will have a negative effect on their education and behaviour. If my child was to spend anytime in Nigeria (which will probably happen as my husband lives there and has so far been a bit too adamant on this topic for my liking - anyway different topic) they would def not be a boarding school pupil and i must be in Nigeria with them.

I would love to emigrate to another country not quite sure were thou - that promotes the family more than the individual.

ah my school days - i remember being very good at sport and my PE teacher always putting me forward to represent the school - trust typical Nigerian parents - they actually wrote a letter to the teacher saying that the time i will use to run is meant for studying and they didn't send me to school to run and throw a netball in a hoop - LOL.

the careers one was just too funny cos i was actually smart enough to see thru the nonsense - my parents always instilled in me "u gotta work twice as hard as oyinbo to get to the same level as them". When I was picking my degree course it had to be either one of the good old naija parents standard, law, engineering or accounting for me. (They knew I was too lazy for medicine!!)

only the future can tell if my stay will have a negative effect - but my experience was not pleasant and have no idea why people were so jealous especially the girls.

chaircover:

Ok Mr Brown J,  I hear you but please can I say it again one more time . . . .I have never said that the wife is more important than the mother.

What I am saying is that there is no comparsm between the 2 relationships,  and the guy saying what he said just opened up a Pandora’s box and as the man of the house I think he could have been a little more tactful in his choice of words and wifey too should have been a little more understanding & looked at the wider picture and not to take much offence at the words of a grieving man.

was going to comment but u took the words right out of my mouth. I don't even know how a wife can even start this kind of arguement when the man has just lost the mum. Most wise women know that their husband love their mother and wife but albeit differently anyone fighting for number one position in such an obvious manner is only looking for trouble.

Outstrip:

Which childlessness biko. Didn't she just get married yesterday

abi my sister - its not everyone that drops 9 months after honeymoon. abeg give her at least 2 years b4 people start talking about childlessness. women - we don suffer

luvly:

@ divab
thank u so much & dont worry,just relax your mind and it will happen soon.
@ ada24,babe u dey very serious wit dis pregnancy o.lucky child.

my dear this pregnancy has taken over my life and the baby has hijacked my body - LOL!!!!!!!. But seriously its really nice to watch the fetal development and watch videos cos it really is the miracle of life.

For those who are TTC have hope my dears - 2 years ago one doctor told me here that with all my issues it would be hard for me to conceive - i left it to God and here I am at 18weeks plus expecting a healthy baby, so it will happen for you, I was even told last year that even if i did get pregnant i may not carry past 12 weeks - God is the only one with that power.

hmmmmm i don tire

on to better things.

anyway baby is fine almost 5 months and no more travelling for me for now - it will be born here in the UK and for those that know it doesn't bestow anything to the child - i would just like to be around my friends and family, I have a wonderful midwife who has agreed to deliver my baby on the day.

for those of u i have offended with the hospital comment i am deeply sorry i am not above saying sorry for any personal hurt and physiological trauma i may have caused - it was not my intention to rub u all up the wrong way. for those that are annoyed by women having anchor babies its a shame people do it but i guess people will do what they feel will benefit their child the most. a lot of pregnant women travel while they are pregnant some for work some try to get a last minute holiday in cos talk to any new mum the first 4 months after the baby is born u kind of lose ur social life. Gosh I am still trying to let the thought sink in that i am not going anyway until at least next summer,

remain blessed all.

yeah i think it depends on who meet on the day - my friend travelled to Dubai for her birthday last year and her doctor almost didn't give her the letter she needed to travel to as her return date was at 31 weeks - i remember how she was shouting down the phone (i allowed that cos she was pregnant but was like excuse me - isn't ur husband meant to be the recipient of this ear bashing) anyway she got the letter in the end and travelled but she told me she saw hell on the flight back to london- she was in so much pain crying throughout the flight back and throwing up.

on trips back from nigeria i see heavily pregnant women on the flights and now that i am pregnant i have no idea how they manage on that 6 hour flight cos at 13/14 weeks i experienced a long haul journey like never before - gosh i felt so sick on that plane it was something else.

@hackney - that woman could have been stopped cos she was going via london - i have come to realise that even if ur final destination is not the UK they don't like pregnant women flying via the uk.