Tell her the truth and tell her your reason for lying. be sincere, and promse on something you love that you wont lie again, it'll hurt, and you'll have to work your ass off to build her trust, but if she's worth it, you can do it.

harakiri:

My greatest fear is having to deal with a woman for the rest of my natural life all because i was convinced that she was the "right one" and after childbirth, she changes into Medusa. Being single and being free is priceless. I see a lot of my buddies who used to be gladiators being transformed into slaves to their wives over a few years. They are constantly hen pecked and nagged 24/7. They can't do anything without consulting their wives first. They have to plead and beg their wives to permit them a few hours to hang out with the guys. Even when there's an argument, the man must always succumb to her wishes for peace to reign in the house. It's always about her, her, her, the kids and her, her ,her. SeXxx that used to be excessive during the dating period is now irregular or non-existent. Some of them consider themselves lucky if they get some once every 2 weeks. What their's is hers and what's her's remains hers.

That is not a life i'm eager to get into anytime soon.

I hear you guys talking about the dreadful parts of marriage & fatherhood. But what about the joys of it? Just think, can anyone name any?

manni:

hi pejubaby and iice ,you guys are right,to be honest,its not easy - cos you might just be caught up in a relationship that might last for a life time(marriage).your partner might just be really hurt to find out that you had a hidden past that never came out till after marriage-trust me i have seen it happen

So very true, I know my lover is hiding something, and it will come out one day. but I'm preparing myself for it cause i do love him.

He's a horrible liar, but to leave church for outside nookie?! I would have busted a cap really deep in his ass, if he wants to Bleep, he can get bleeped!

WOW!! Personally cannot tolerate lies. But some of you have your standards too high. No one is perfect, everyone has a flaw. When you see no flaws, thats when you should run away fast. Anyhow, thats boring.

ok, i can see why your confused. theres an order the info. should be in.

it wasnt suddenly, she just saw something tht made her wonder and curious. before now, she was only dating him out of curiosity. now shes really in love with him

materil gain and emotional security, i want it all!

^^ Ok, well what if the relationship started with him telling lies such as his age, or past history, therefore it's hard for her to believe anything he tells her.

How and why do you stay with someone who you can't trust?

If your gf out of the sudden started going through your things and accusing you of cheating due to her insecurities, and trust issues, then apologized, what would you do? (This sin't the first time she's done it, although she promises it will be the last.)

i see, Thank you.

Can anyone tell me what: "pelu omo pupa" means? An what tribe is it?

Be honest of why you want it to be over, if your an asshole, let her see that. Honesty and truth is always the best policy for anything.

Can anyone tell me what: "pelu omo pupa"? means?

Uhm, clearly you don't want to give up on her, have you called out her behavior and shown her examples of ways she's displayed faulty character and made you confused? Because if you've communicated this to her, she's not gong to change. If you haven't, then she's technically innocent because she's unaware.

I'd explore the ideas on here, but ultimately I know is best. If you can handle continuing to go on like this, go for it! If your heart can't take it, let her go.

I think anything left undealt with will only follow you. SO whether I choose to stay or leave, for myself, I'd seek counseling. If I stayed I wouldn't trust him anymore, if I left, I'd have some issues trusting the next man, or even getting seriously involved.

She's insecure, doesn't know what she wants in a man, and playing games, RUN! FAST & FAR! I agree, time will heal. You sound like a dynamic guy, and deserve better, God has the perfect woman for you, and you'll know when u meet her, it's different feeling. But you must commit to letting go and put it in God's hands.

Be persistent and consistent with you love, show her no other man can offer her what you can, after about 6 months, let her ass go.

I find this interesting. I met my companion at 18. It was the first time I'd even spoken to a "real-life African" LOL! But there was a sense of curiosity that provoked me to allow him to have my number, although ultimately over time, my love for him grew, and my reason for staying with him has nothing at all to do with his race or nationality.

@MEN: You shouldn't have to choose. But if she's "lacking" in any area, you should communicate to her how you feel on the subject.

im light skinned, medium-sized (thick), and I LOVE my dark nigerian men!

A real woman will not judge you and accept you no matter what, so if you feel the need to lie to keep the relationship alive, you dont need to be together.

Hm,

@Shy-One
Indeed, I completely understand the feeling intimidated. He and his friends sometimes speak in their language, so I'm like, huh? But I wish you the best as well. I've noticed my 9ja man's friends are always vouching for him, telling me how much of a great man he is, and how much he loves me, and how I better not let him go, this raises my eyebrows slightly, also, they're offended at times because I really don't like the food, it's not THAT great. LOL!

@New Emblem: Well said, Thank you.

@I. Chinoye: Indeed, I try to everyday. LOL!

@s.ohiemi: Yes. Im very passionate about it. My companion is Nigerian, so he should be willing to meet me halfway on some things. (although we do plan to start a family one day). Some of his cultural beliefs I don't agree with, such as, he told me of how they believe anyone can spank your children. (the concept of it takes a village to raise a child) I disagree with that but I see how it could be effective so I'd be willing to get an understanding, but only with his NIgerian friends and familly because Americans take it too far.

Yes creamish: "rily"

Exactly: u just wanna have sex with her. if so, be open. DO NOT! DO NOT, string her along.

Honestly, I do love my 9jaman. We're both in college, broke. have nothing but each other. We support and make each other laugh, and have AMAZING sex and we plan to live comfortably in a couple of years. My plan is to keep our life simple due to the fact that I know how money can destroy relationships. Money is not an issue, because I support myself, he supports himself, and even after marriage we intend for that to be the rule, until we have children and our whole priorities in life will change because all our money will go toward raising a healthy family. So no, money does not matter when two people love each other and want to build and share a life together. Simple as that.