Yinkade:

blu malam the show is over with nd uti has won it af finish na

While NLers were spending their time & resources to see Uti win, u brought ur anti UFC/pro mufc stuff to a thread so sold out to Uti. U worked intently at building the reputation u have on this thread of being a snitch & traitor. How do u expect anyone to celebrate with u now?
I bet u'd have been here taunting if munya had won.

YAY, we made it!!!!!!


Hearty congrats to all UFC/MNC and to our FRUITILICIOUS UTI.

what's happening now? i'm shaking here. oh God, UTI!!!

^^^ amen!!!

please where can i watch it live online?

too many

chris tomlin - everlasting God
iyaz - so big
tokio hotel - darkside of the sun
adam lambert - if i had you, for your entertainment, whataya want from me
miley cyrus - the climb
katy perry - teenage dream
one republic - all the right moves
lady gaga - boysboysboys

bossiness, jealousy, nagging

u don't have to propose to the guy, but u should tell him in clear terms how u feel. and if he refuses to give a relationship a try, u should work towards getting over him.

if i'm going crazy with anger, i guess i'd slap him back. if i'm able to keep my calm and think clearly i won't, because i'm not a good fighter and i'd be better off if things don't get very physical. it'd be nearly impossible for me to get over the issue, and might eventually end the relationship.

i won't say 'yes' to save him from embarrassment, cos he'd have embarrassed me already by proposing publicly. but then, any guy that i'd be considering saying 'YES' to would know me well enough to not propose in public.

sirvick:

it doesn't matter were u are, all u need is will u marry me, u will just hear a loud yes, with current ratio of man and woman non will say no

SMH

why is everyone harping on the tribe issue? the OP didn't imply that the girl's dirtiness is a yoruba problem.


@ topic,

i think lack of proper hygiene is a problem of upbringing. my kid cousins tell me about their schoolmates with body odour, those who come to school looking dirty, those who smell of urine etc. for the most part, these are kids under 12 years; kids in primary school and junior secondary school. no matter how poor or busy parents are, hygiene should be an important part of a child's upbringing. if little or no importance is given to hygiene in a family, children may not even realize when they violate hygiene rules. then they grow up that way to become confidently dirty adults.

i've come across a number of adults who don't wash their hands after using the toilet, it's disgusting! public toilets are usually in such a deplorable state, even though there should be cleaners in employment. you have to wonder who would leave their house to the airport or a fast food outlet to mess up the toilet.

i dont think you have to tell God when you're ready, he'll know before you do. it's never too early (or too late) to pray about your future partner.

there's no 1-size-fits-all appproach to courtship; the long ones work for some relationships and vice versa. 5 years would be quite a long courtship. even if you decide to put off getting into a committed relationship, it's important that you dont close your mind to any serious relationship possibilities that may arise in the meantime. sometimes the best things come when we least expect.

try to be the best person you can be. and dont put up a front for any man's benefit do it for yourself. identify your preferences concerning a husband. decide which ones are really important and which ones are trivial. i dont think you can have all he wants b4 you meet him, but that's the purpose of the courtship.

chidi-marc:

I am a 23 yr old under G, i can rightly say i've got  a fair share of natural endowments, relatively popular and easily known wherever I find myself, but recently found out to my dismay that i have nobody that i can call FRIEND in the true sense of the word.  I believe am not in anyway selfish because I go out of my way to help people who need it around me (strangers inclusive) even when doing so atimes amount to self deprivation.
I dont ask for much from people, and humble (i dont just say it, people do) I have often found myself a confidant of others and dont hide my feelings from people. But even with all these i still do not have someone to call friend, could it be something I have yet to notice about myself ? Please help !

what exactly do you mean by you have no one you can call a friend? you are popular and are easily recognized everywhere you go, people confide in you and you do the same. what is it you would like in a friend that you don't already have in these people around you? is it that they avoid you, or that they aren't friendly enough, or that you don't think of them as your ideal friends?

could it be that you're harsh or blunt with people. are you standoffish or bossy or too opinionated? do you react badly to criticism? people tend to avoid confrontational people, and if you react badly to criticsm it's unlikely that people would want to give you helpful advice.

i think the best way to know what the problem is would be talking to the people around you. one of those who confide in you but aren't real friends. ask them if there's something about you that keeps them away from you. sometimes we need other people to point out our flaws, so you need to really listen to what they say. even if you don't agree, the fact is you're probably giving out some negative vibes (or people are feeling something different from what you're giving out), and you need them to point it out.

it's hard to pick a favourite,

Ecclesiastes 12: 13 - Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

Micah 6: 8 - He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

mama-gee:

My favourite quote is:

"A soul that sinneth must die but the righteous shall obtain eternal life"

there's a similar one "all souls are mine, the soul that sinneth it shall die". i used to like it as a kid after reading it in one of the african literature series books.

@ jennykadry,

u say "feminist" like it's an accusation; i don't see myself as one, i don't care for the whole political movement but i'm very concerned about my happiness and rights and all that. i'm sure that even u would agree that women were so much more submissive in the past and that it's impractical to expect such from today's woman. so maybe it's not so much me, as the society and the way girls are raised that is feministic.


@ chaircover,

i understand your point, and like i said b4, i'm all for submission. i'm quite a submissive person naturally. i generally have no problem with leaders or following rules, and i'm all for the husband being in charge. just that there should be enough room for self-expression and individuality for the woman. i'm all for being answerable to the husband as long as i'm allowed some autonomy.

i know women don't have to surrender to abusive relationships, still i worry about it because i know several young girls who are enduring some form of abuse so early in life. many won't even agree that they are being abused until things get too bad, and the ones that agree keep making excuses, like they'll win the guys over eventually. of course God can do anything, but what happened to self-preservation? even more worrisome is that just about all these friends were really strong willed girls (and they still are in matters outside their marriages).

tolutara:

^^^^^^^^^^

From what you wrote above, yes, u Ma'am don't understand the true meaning of submission and also maybe partly based on you past experience. I am Married and i submit to my truly loving husband, however me being in submission does not require all those you listed above.

you're married and i can't argue with your experience, so maybe i really don't know what submission truly means. afterall i've not had any personal experience as yet. but i've been hearing the word "submission" long enough to know people generally mean different things when they speak about it. obviously, some have more positive meanings and for others it's quite negative. i have some married friends (still in their 20s) who live under all sorts of restrictions, and they justify everything their husbands put them through with "submission". however, i'm not anti-submission. i'm simply against the kind of submission that strips a woman of her will and individuality.  

of course, i know that there are many women for whom submission is not a burden. odd thing though, is that most of the girls who i think are victims of "submission" always justify things, and tell stories of other women who have it worse. maybe marriage somehow changes a woman's expectations and perceptions. well, i can only hope when i personally experience submission in marriage, i would see it in an absolutely positive light.

as for the question on why the resistance to submission, i'd say it's because times have changed a great deal and some traditional ideas about submission have become impractical, yet people still hold on to them.

nowadays girls are raised as equal to boys, even more pampered in some families. they are encouraged to excel academically, and otherwise, and are increasingly outperforming guys. parents and teachers spend 20+ years pushing girls to be the best, to learn to stand their ground, to fight their way through to the top. the main focus of young girls' lives is expected to be academic excellence, and a successful career afterwards.

yet, it is expected that they would one day get married and all of a sudden start playing second fiddle. after all the time and resources spent on ensuring that she attains competence and independence, it's understandable that a woman would be dissatisfied with an arrangement that has her will constantly being bent to another's.

i'm not married, and i'm quite ambivalent about marriage partly because of this submission issue. i don't have a problem with submission in itself; i'm okay with the man being in charge of the marriage. what i find hard to accept is letting someone else (it doesn't matter that i love this person) be in charge of my life.

i really can't understand why i should need permission to do my own stuff as an adult. i'm not against a man throwing in suggestions every now and then, i would both expect and welcome that. he should be concerned enough to have opinions about my hair, dressing, whereabouts, friends, career etc. but i think i should be the boss of me.

and NO, this isn't pride. humility is when a woman willingly allows a man (who really isn't any more capable than she is) to take the reins of their marriage, and happily supports his leadership. humility is not reducing a woman to a child, while still leaving her burdened with the responsibilites of an adult.

nowadays, we frown at parents who are too strict, parents are expected to give even their adolescents a measure of autonomy. many university students only have to inform their parents that they plan to travel out of state, but their mothers need permission to do the same. it's disheartening to think that as a 45-year old woman, i might be denied permission to do things that my 20 year old kids don't need permission for (things i didn't need permission for as a young adult). all because of my gender!

i know more than one family where the parents give the kids a fixed amount of pocket money without asking for a breakdown of the expenses, yet in these same families the women have to present lists of their expenditures to their husbands. and some men even cut down the costs, like slash tomatoes from 2000 naira to 1500. IMO, this is one of the most demeaning "submissions" ever, and is one reason why i must be financially independent.

honestly, NO!

I'd rather wait a few more years for him to become financially stable, before thinking of marriage. except of course if i were rich, in which case [i]he [/i]would move into my house instead.

there's small choice between the OP's "guy with reservations" and the "all over guys". why would any girl want to be with a guy who doesn't give a crap about her, a guy who would rather not be with her?

i can't stand "all over guys" (actually, "all over" people). people usually make them out to be the victims, but i feel victimized by them. i don't see them as doormats; the clinginess, near-obsession, over-attentiveness feels like a heavy burden on me. it makes me very uncomfortable and irritable, then i react badly and feel guilty afterwards.

ideally, the "guy with reservations" should truly care, love and enjoy his girl's presence, like any other guy. his reservations should be with the way he expresses his feelings, and not with the feelings themselves.

MRbrownJAY:

i was shocked to read that the GAGA CIRCUS earned 62milla this past financial yr?!
i guess being EXTREMELY different pays off.

i was shocked that she wasn't in the top 3, considering she's been the biggest thing in music for well over a year now. i guess it's because the others have been around much longer.

^^^

i was typing quite a long reply till i saw this:

Iceugwa:

With due respect I CAN'T, but i expect her to watch my boxers. Though its voluntary. Just as i can do it only wen she is not capable like after giving birth or she's sick

then i realized it was pointless; can't argue with crazy.

i'm also not 'phone friendly'. i really suck at telephone conversations, it's almost always stifled conversation and several periods of silence. i find it hard to make small talk even with 'close' friends, much less ordinary acquaintances.

however, there have been times when i gave my number because i couldn't think of a polite way of refusing to give it to a nice guy. and each time i would find myself dreading phone calls.

Ujujoan:

Story story . . if sth like that ever happens, then odds are he's F**king her!

exactly!



i'll accept his explanation, but i'll be suspicious for a while.

@ poster. you can tell her the truth, or simply change your SIM card,



** i hope all those guys who profess love after a few IM sessions would see this thread**

Ujujoan:

You are even still hanging around waiting to be chosen!

i wonder

if you're willing to give your all to a guy, you shouldn't settle for less than that. don't shortchange yourself cos of your age, being single in mid- or late-twenties isn't a crime/shame. take your time to find someone who loves you well

i love Twilight, and i'm also Team Edward.

i've not watched any of the movies though, except the trailers and a few clips from New Moon. i'm not much of a movie person anyway. besides, i had (and prolly still have) such a perfect image of Edward, that i doubt any twilight movie can live up to the book for me. but i think i'll watch the Breaking Dawn film; Breaking Dawn was my favourite book in the series, next was Twilight, then Eclipse and finally New Moon.

i agree, the guy was silly. i don't know why guys try to woo girls with gifts, it's so bad that they give in hopes that the gifts would persuade the girls to love them. if i were a guy, i wouldn't want to be with a girl who only started to become receptive to my advances after receiving gifts from me.

@ poster,

so guys scam girls all the time, that doesn't make this right. you knew that the guy gave you a phone expecting something in return. the honest thing to do would be to reject the phone, and maintain that you had no interest in him. but because you were about to travel, you took the gift, happy that you would escape having to fulfil the guy's expectations. i don't feel sorry for the guy at all. in fact, i think it serves him right for thinking a BB can buy love. but it's just not right to take gifts from guys and give them false hope when you know you aren't going to date them.


@ cyntlating,

ill-gotten 30,000 naira is TOO much. but the problem's not the cost of the phone, it's the deception and dishonesty shown to a guy who showed interest in her. they say a good name is better than riches, and it's unfortunate that the phone was tempting enough to make her trick the guy so. however, i feel that if someone would soil his/her name for material gain, s/he might as well aim really high. in that sense, 30,000 naira is nothing. i respect those ladies who sleep with politicians to get contracts worth millions a lot more than those ones who follow men for phones, recharge cards, edibles.

all guys are nice when they approach women, everyone likes to put up a good front. that's why this issue of good/bad choices keeps coming up; we have to look beyond the exterior, into guys' pasts, habits, associations etc when we choose. even with all this there's still a risk of things going wrong, and it's everyone's responsibility to protect themselves from abuse. i understand how some women feel tied down to abusive relationships, but in your case, i agree that you tolerate what you can permit.

growing up with your dad must have taught you a lot about these sorts of relationships. one personal experience with a nice guy who turned abusive should have made you even more wary. yet, you repeated the pattern of getting into abusive relationships. from all you've said there's no indication that you had a child with any of these guys, and you even said that you are financially independent. so what could have been tying you down, making you hang on long enough for any guy to hit you a second time? i actually find it surprising that you didn't call the cops, or move out the day after the guy in your post sexually assaulted you. surely, the first assault must have brought forth strong, painful memories of your childhood. that you endured several assaults from more than one man might indicate that, on some level, you rationalized abuse as inevitable.

Gabry:

One of my housemate is a playah. He is jobless and he depends on his gf's to give him money. He has Ms Monday to ms Sunday and changes each girl whom complains or finds out he is a playah. he always say, Each Ms Day's can always be replace with a nother.

he love sleeping with multiple women because he like to see different shapes, sizes and colour of a woman's thing down there.

i wouldn't call him a player, he's probably just good in bed and surrounded by either sex-starved women or women with low self-esteem. like others have said, players need money to play. it's the money (or the idea that he's got money) that attracts most of the girls you see around players. this is so even with the poor ones, except they are sweet talkers (and even scammers). they also 'play' with money, they borrow stuff from their friends and family to impress girls. they promise heaven and earth and usually end up getting what they want from the girls before they are expected to deliver on their promises. some even spend money on girls, but they get the money from other women. they tell pitiful tales of business woes and somehow scam money off rich, unsuspecting girls.

very embarrassed, and scared as hell! i was way too young (11 years), painfully shy, and really naive, even for my age. the guy was in university; he must have been about 20 yrs then, so he felt quite ancient to me. i really don't know exactly what i was scared of though.