1) She is African American. And no, she is not a Nigerian with an American name. He did not bring her to America from Nigeria.
2) She was killed at her mother’s house. That means she already left the marital home. That means she did not file to “ take over his hard earned house”
3) They did not have any child(ren) together. So no court ordered child support.
4) looking at his Facebook profile, that man did not have a pot to piss in. There was no financial gain for this woman. He was a “rapper” and a security guard.
5) He was 10 years older than her. Current ages (34 &24) He was probably 30, when he met her, and she was an impressionable 20 year old.
He deliberately sought a young girl he could control. She probably ran back to her mother’s house due to his abusive behavior.
6) His fragile ego was bruised when she left & he realized he no longer had control over her.
He killed this young girl & her mother.
Defending this evil behavior, speaks a lot about your character.

Dottore:
Same gruesome gory tale. Dude must have suffered to bring the babe over and the babe being a typical Nigerian woman suddenly becomes "wise and arrogant" after having a stable income and feeling liberated then most likely took advantage of the justice system that favours women in the western world to humiliate the guyman. The marriage fails and dude feels at a loss.

When you have nothing to live for you have everything to die for.
My own poor analysis. What do I know sef

*modified*
For those that concluded that the victims are Americans because of their names, here's my simple advice.
Forget name o. Some Nigerian girls and their mothers who have never gone near any airport bear names that are more American than black Americans.

Finstar:


You guys are bloody hepocrites.. Tell me you've never lay your hands on a younger sibling before.. Mitcheew..

You guys should mind the kind of comments you leave on FP.. All you guys end up exhibiting is nothing but sheer ignorance. God help you all.

Please do no project, you obviously use your fist to resolve conflict. Others have better anger management skills.

Mariangeles:
How could you hit your baby little sister? for you to admit that you slapped her means you beat her real bad...MY GOD!
Better you take her to the hospital for proper checkup before something worse happens...I feel sorry for the little girl for the kind of sister she has...

You are correct. She physically assaulted her sister & is trying to downplay it by saying she “slapped” her. Probably venting her frustrations on a younger, prettier sister. Take her to the hospital ASAP & learn to deal with your frustrations in a less aggressive manner. Ruined Christmas for the young lady

@op, you came to a forum comprised of people from different ethnic groups and even different national and racial groups and used a derogatory word. That my dear shows: your poor thought process and lack of filter.

You can re-decorate your flat with horchow furniture if you want, but you are still a tenant, so you need to rearrange your thought process and figure out who should really be jealous of whom.

You need an attitude adjustment before the o$$$$$nu madam at the top makes you a homeless woman

dayokanu: Let the woman too go make her own money

He won the lottery,he did not make the money

OT: SWEET as in in a trailer load of sugar: women bashing and bigotry will not make it go away.

The closet door is wide open.

Your “friend” has already made up her mind. Apart from the fact that she is a witch (how else can you describe this level of evil and wickedness) she is also ignorant.
'
She thinks kidney transplant is Brazilian hair you can sew in and go about your business? Does she have any idea that her daughter with one kidney can live a normal life?

Once her daughter receives the kidney(s) she will have to be on immunosuppressive drugs (not cheap and not readily available in Nigeria o) and/or her body could reject the kidney and then that wonderful precious daughter of hers will be a goner.

Will she also pay for her slave’s immunosuppressive drugs?

If two young lives are not at stake, I would let this ogbanje dig her own grave and fall into it.

What of the prenatal visits fees? Baby formula receipts? diaper receipts? Yeye dey smell.
For financial accountability purposes such as taxes, yes. But to harass YOUR OWN child, no way.

Babyosisi has made valid contributions and has given good advices. Ogugua88 (year of birth, 88? So a fresh perspective,no? ) has made good points too.
Yes when you come over here, everyone will push healthcare. But even that is getting saturated don’t believe me. Well just take your time and click on this links. http://allnurses.com/nursing-career-advice/rn-bsn-cant-881771.html
http://allnurses.com/nursing-job-search/experienced-rn-cant-808352.html
http://allnurses.com/nursing-career-advice/new-grad-not-834218.html

Dayo is right, most stations and companies would rather hire a young blonde, blue eyed female/male. But many mass.comm graduates can still work behind the scenes. Some get a master’s degree and teach in high school/cc/colleges. Some work with Multinational companies as events coordinators.

Some Engineering Graduates are doing way better than the nurses, even if it means working offshore in oil rigs.


IT, is a great sector especially if you are willing to work full time and enroll in your local CC and continue to advance your knowledge/skills by getting certifications (4-16 weeks for about $1500).

For the science majors, clinical research careers are available.

For business graduates. Yes an MBA from an ivy league will open doors but even public university graduates can make it. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505125_162-44441221/want-to-become-a-wildly-rich-ceo-dont-go-to-harvard/

To move up, you must have a good work ethic ,a great can do attitude and leave whatever bias you have.(buy baby gifts for your gay boss that just adopted a baby)

48 pages is too long to read. I know you must have gotten some really good advice. I noticed your post in the first page and you mentioned you were 30 with 2 kids and feel hopeless. I know the naija factor but I am the same age with you and have three kids. 30 is not too old to start over.

1)Your career: During his lovey dovey months, invest in work wears, get your hair done(work on your appearance in general, it will help with the self-esteem issues) and reconnect with your former classmates, colleagues, boss, friends ,church members etc, and start applying for any job. Please drop your swag and accept any professional job you get even if the pay is below your standard. Just see it as stepping stone to the next level.

2) Your husband is a cheat and an abuser, the ball is in your court. “Second hand merchandise” will find “second hand buyer”. Do not be afraid of the future. You are 30 not 80. No one will love you if you can’t love yourself. Your self-worth should never be placed on another human being. You never know what is around the corner.

Keep your head up. It can only get better.

@Byvan the association of “mrs I did at 23” is in support of dropping this subject.

Marriage has become so twisted for so many. People date in college irrespective of age. Some want to take it to the next level (without belle and desperation or with belle ).why knock it because you didn’t try it. It can’t be your way or the highway.

YOLO so “do you”. (1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruth_Bader_Ginsburg this woman was married with a child in law school (and yes she took her baby to class, IVY LEAGUE, no less) and still become a supreme court judge. (2) Oprah Winfrey did her thing with no husband or kid. (3) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marissa_Mayer had her career set before getting married and having a kid. So the world has enough space for everyone.

Why I go fear to tell my parents that I am ready to get married to a gorgeous, smart hard working man (3 years older than me, no be sugar daddy). My marriage is not hell on earth; it is stable, loving, trusting, and supportive and I am glad to have found my partner early. If it happens for you at a different time it is all good.

Off topic: people need therapy and Jesus/Allah/whatever you believe in. Spewing so much hate and anger on a faceless forum!!!!!!.

I believe in staying in your lane and the topic clearly states “getting married as an undergraduate”. Let those who have lived it, tell it (The good, the bad and the ugly). I don’t go trolling on the thread below because I have nothing of value to add it. https://www.nairaland.com/1164806/single-nairaland

@Byvan, why flog a dead horse? Have you not heard? we married as undergrads because we were wretched and knocked up and begged the men to have mercy on us and marry us. We are also liabilities to our husband!!!!!!.

You did not take a car, house and swizz bank account to your husband’s house. What a Failure!!!!

Some even said you can’t try this in the USA, lies!!!!! Exhibit A. Plus single mothers who work full time and still do it.

If I make a sweeping generalization that “80% of my single independent ladies”( all CEO”s by the way ) are frustrated, jealous, bitter, regretful and the “true love of their lives” went on to marry an undergrad #prettyyoungthings.

A hit dog will always holler

There is no marriage without trust and commitment.
My eyes don open for NL. Couples claiming to be married with no commitment and trust. Joint account now leads to murder. Which begs the question, exactly how much is in the bank account? I guess making your spouse your life insurance beneficiary will get you assassinated in one week or less.
I better inspect this warm Theraflu my husband just gave me, before he sends me to the great beyond.

°°°mixedchic°°°:
it takes an[b] incredible level of trust and commitment [/b]for a couple to have a joint a/c.

I mean whats d guarantee that either spouse will not secretly open a personal acct and start syphoning common funds there.
and also giving acct of money spent will likely cause suspicions or dissatisfaction of individual spending patterns. hussy will be like:

"Sade are you sure d 20k you withdrew was used to buy yet another pink bag?," while Sade goes " thats selfish of you Chidi to complain of only 20k I spent, while you gave your sister 50k last week for some frivolous reason. and by the way how do I know its really her you gave d moni?"

ideally its the right thing to do but realistically I dont see feasible.

as for me o, keep yours while I keep mine. we can only operate the joint acct for certain projects or expenses e.g sch fees or building.

marriage as it is is already laden with so much frictions that adding finances to it will compound the problems.

You can get married as an undergraduate: graduate go on to graduate school and land a lucrative job (gasp).

The women in troubled marriages that come to lament on NL do not represent all married women. You don’t expect wives to log in and start typing about their happy marriages and life.

Do not take what you read online and run with it. Not all men are cheaters or abusers. There are plenty of good men out there. My relationship with my husband is nearing the 10 years mark and I have never been abused (he is actually my cheerleader and my true support system). He has never been a cheat (and if I am proven wrong tomorrow, I will go ahead and give him an Oscar award as a superb actor).

When I hit 50 years by the grace of God, and my husband decides to abscond with a 21 years old woman. (Our youngest child would be 23yrs old at the point by the way) He would be leaving with half his net worth and pay alimony thanks to divorce laws in a community property state.

dasparrow: @Post

This is how you Nigerian women rush into marriage. Couple of years down the line, you begin to disturb our ears in the Nairaland family section about how the husband cheats on you, beats you, blah-blah-blah. A man who truly loves you will be considerate and wait for you to at least finish school. What's the rush? By the time you hit 50 years, he must have found himself another 21 year old lady with a tight vargina after your own vargina has slacked due to child bearing and years upon years of sex. Focus on your education because if the man were to change in attitude like the weather, you will be stuck in the union because you have no degree yet, probably no job and no income of your own. When he starts giving you slaps, don't come here asking us on what you should do about a situation that you decided to get yourself into.

I did and had my first child at age 23. No regrets. Go for it. I am more worried about the distance, but it will only be for a few years. I don't think 23 is too young. My honey is only 3yrs older than me, but we are still stable and going strong. Some marry at 35 and divorce by 40, so age does not always equal emotional and mental maturity.

Nairaland and their yeye censor. I wrote C..o..pul...ate and it changed to reproduce. Reproduce kwa!!!

,EWO oo, Your mum had an affair with her brother-in-law and was f***ing him while you slept on the bed at the ripe old age of 6-8 years!!!!!!!! Yet you are afraid to confront her!!!!!!.

See I used to be timid like that, naija where parents rule with an iron fist and are always right. But am a grown independent woman, and for every trifling “older adult” in my life I have respectfully and not so respectfully called them out on their shenanigans. I too just like you,saw these “older adults” commit so many atrocities and live as they please, living me with so much hurt and pain. The only way to free myself was to LET IT OUT. And guess what? It caused some rift in the beginning, but now we all interact as the adults we are, no eye service on my part.

My husband and I will NEVER copulate in the same room with our kids but your “mom and uncle” did, how disrespectful and inappropriate. Yet you want to give them all the highest honors, why?What are you afraid of? Are you truly an independent adult? Why would you mortgage your happiness for trifling adults? No son, MAN UP. Call them out and put them on blast if you wish.

What sane dignified woman f**ks her bil and what sane dignified man f**ks his sil. @ileobatojo has given you great advice. You are damaged and don’t even know it!!!!!. And the adults responsible for this are walking around scot free. Mba nu.
I am not trying to be harsh bros, but I ve been there (not the same circumstances) and you are in a place of deep hurt and you need to get out of there and if you have to burst the doors wide open, then so be it.

The teachers must have skipped child development classes. I would like to “drink the tap water” back in naija cos the kids go from the sensorimotor stage, skip the preoperational stage and land between concrete operational and formal operational stages.

Some posters mentioned all day drilling: these kids are learning by repetition. “Educated educators” know that a cognitive approach is best for young learners. An 18 years old 4th year medical student is impressive, but can she think outside the box? (Think, dr. hank in the TV show Royal pain and all the alternatives he comes up with during a life threating emergency). Can she think on her feet when familiar therapy and equipment are unavailable? I have seen barely vocal two year old's dragged to nursery school, when the parents should have been seeking for an early childhood intervention program and consulting with speech therapist etc.

Babies are entering universities at the age of 15 and by 30 all they have to show for their “outstanding early achievement” is a 9-5 job. No new invention, ground breaking research, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

The poor baby was just hungry. This “mother” just transferred her anger and frustration on the poor boy. Poverty has eaten this woman’s brain cell. Many are praying/fasting, spending tons of money to be a parent and this one is torturing this precious child.
My heart breaks for this child, cos he will continue to live with this crazed woman.

Technically yes. But In this case #babyfactorythings

God save us from backward mentality. It is the parents DUTY and OBLIGATION. If you don’t want to pay tuition don’t have kids, simple.
It is not the child’s privilege, it’s their BASIC RIGHT.

On Sunday she will come and dedicate “her baby” and gullible folks will believe a post-menopausal woman was able to conceive and deliver a child. (Without assisted reproductive technology/ surrogacy involved).
It will even make front page: 55 years old woman gives birth to a bouncing baby girl. Thank God she was caught.[i][/i]

That is not their baby, they have conspired with those “missionary ladies” that prey on desperate couples.

They are the only ones that can see and feel the baby, yet all blood tests and ultrasounds will be negative.
It is a baby mill, where the “missionary ladies” harbor pregnant teenagers and when they give birth, they call the “expectant” mother and tell her she is in labor and she needs to come over and deliver immediately!!!!!

When the woman gets there, “they deliver” the baby by giving the woman an episiotomy or even perform a “ C-section” to convince the woman she gave birth.

A simple DNA test will reveal that the baby is not theirs. But see how people are calling it a miracle and claiming it as their portion. These couple is perpetuating a fraud and everyone is falling for it.

Nigeria and the UAE discovered oil around the same time ,1950’s. The difference is like 7up.
our shameless useless looters will not emulate their counterparts but rather go there and enjoy their loot.

Kini big deal. Granted I don’t live in naija, but I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill.
I have young kids and on val day all the kids in each classroom bring candy/treats and cards. There is no pairing , you have to give all your classmates the same thing. My kids also made cards for my husband and I.
At hospitals (the children’s hospital) the sick kids all receive a big bag filled with treats ,toys, books, pencils, stickers , teddy bears and personalized valentine cards. Volunteers also go from room to room with cupcakes.

My life is complete without him. But with him it is pure perfection.
7+ years and three kids. He is still the one I yearn for. He never ceases to amaze me and yesterday for valentine he made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

These stories are far more common than we care to admit. I know a girl in uni, whose mother conspired with a doctor to induce a 7-8 months pregnancy and then killed the baby on delivery!!!!!.
She was back in school three weeks later acting all brand new. She got married about two years ago and has a son and am sure her husband is none the wiser. How they sleep at night I will never know.

I went to a Nigerian university before transferring to an American university. College life is full of debauchery. Young adults leaving the confines of their parents’ home may choose to go buck wild. Bros the thing my eye see for naija university, my mouth no fit talk: sugar daddies + campus bobo + within campus away match + home based match.. Some use abortion as a means of birth control, starting from secondary school here in naija .The lady and the man you are using are terrible examples. And I do have those “a+++” friends in the areas you mentioned . Bad market dey for naija and America. Exes are a part of life unless you marry a virgin.


[quote author=payless]@thatchic

With what I've seen in New Jersey, New York and beyond about most Nigerian ladies, it is a no for me. Most Nigerian ladies in the U.S are just not wife materials. I don't care about your A++. I am not saying all Nigerian ladies in the US or western countries are bad, but more than 90% are not worth marrying. When I was in college, I saw so many things. Ladies getting ears pierced, tongues pierced, nibbles and nipples pierced and bleaching their skin. Even wearing skimping dresses. Go to college campuses and see what Nigerian ladies are doing.

Imagine a man having a party and at that party seeing 3 to 5 former boyfriends of his wife there. I know of a guy who was introduced to a lady in 1997 by a friend and his friend advised him to use and dump her because she's been around a lot. The guy ended up impregnating her to the extent of going to Courthouse and marry her. As the relationship progressed, the sister of the guy knew the lady to have been with so many Nigerian guys including some of the people the guy knows. Guess what! After they got married, the guy found out about the lady's past including the number of abortions she's had for Nigerian guys in the past. The two of them can't go to social gathering because of her past and the guy harmmers her at home everyday calling her slut and all sorts of names. They have a 13 years old son together. The family and relatives don't even want the woman at their social gathering. What a disgrace!

You started a thread in 2009 that you had doubts about your son’s paternity. Twenty two months later you were making enquiries about a sperm boosting drug. So from your previous threads I can deduce that you have male factor infertility (I may be completely off). Are you grasping on because you truly love your wife and son/stepson or you are just desperate and want to maintain the status quo. This is the second separation within months and it seems your wife already put your business out there: self-preservation or she wanted to shame/humiliate/embarrass you. Her actions have spoken louder than words and you need time alone to think, do not make/take decisions based on emotions and fear. If you can, go and see a urologist and a fertility specialist and sort your medical issues out. Life is too short and should not be spent, begging undeserving people to remain in your life. Your marriage may be over and your wife holds the entire cards, if the boy is not yours, visitation may not be possible. And that might be your greatest pain/fear, your child (you have been there since day one) taken away, my prayers are with you.

Used and dumped, no sir. I married my love when I was 22 years old. Seven years later and three wonderful kids we are still going strong. I still stand by my words the A++ men and women dont have a problem dating their peers and getting married.

Metalgoong:

Utter trash!! . . What an intelligent post by the so called educated lady . . . Educated professional my foot!

It seems many sharp naija dudes dated and dumped you, and then went ahead to marry their girl friends or fiancees residing in Nigeria.

It’s the “all American rejects” that are involved in this DHL marriage. I and my friends (educated professionals) all married Christian professional men from our tribes. I am going to generalize, but the men and women that went back home for the sole purpose of finding a spouse, were lacking in certain areas: I have seen girls that willingly consented to “trains” that were videotaped, later get all sanctified and go back home to find a spouse. Men with no swag or most importantly self-confidence go back home and bring back a dime. After a while issues are bound to pop off, hence the high divorce rate

You need to pass a test to get into schools, drive etc. But any fertile adult can breed, and most don’t even have a clue. I build up my sons and I will never tear them down. I always let them know they are smart, handsome good and the best thing since sliced bread!!!!. There are ways to punish (time out, withdraw toys, {create star charts for reward}). When you know better, you do better.

bigboyk: Guy, I know and understand how you feel. I dislike my mum so much for the insults she gave me and still gives me. I so much love my pops. She made me so depressed with the words she uttered. Well, I will shock her when I get rich. She thinks nothing good will come out of me even though I have a degree and currently doing some professional certifications. She respects people who are well to do and despise the broke. Let me see who will come and tell me I'm wicked when I get rich and refuse to give her a dime. If you don't value me when I'm down, don't come close to me when I'm rich. I don't go close to people who open their mouth any how.

Ewo, teacher no teach me nonosense. Shaming a four years old or any child for that matter is just plain wrong. Preschoolers should have extra clothing in their backpack. Positive reinforcement and feedback should be used in the classroom. The “teachers” are setting these kids up for all kinds of self-esteem issues. Op please have a talk with the teacher , calmly but assertively let her know that her behavior is unacceptable, take it up with the principal if you must. Talk to your child and let him know how great he is and that accidents happen. Don’t let anyone tear your child down.