Thank you guys, I thought as much too, its extremely emotional wrecking to let go of something that your heart yerns for but I know It will get better in time

I met this guy a couple of months ago, I found out he has a Girlfriend he never cared to tell me about, asked him and he admitted, I decided that I wont be the one ending things since its been what I have been doing ever since I started dating(breaking up with ppl) so I dared myself not to fall in love with the guy just go with the flow, he treated me well, said things I wanted to hear but never mention the L word and I didnt want him to, I have been tormented by the GF's friends and his friends but ignored that, I was not gona fall in love with him and I was not gona be hurt I told myself, but the guy seemed to be too preocupied by me more than anything else, he'd prefer to be with me than his GF that he stays with, I didnt think it was necessary for me to ask where will this leave me coz I knew he cant leave his GF that has his child for me so I told myself that I am not dating the guy we just having fun in that way it was gona be easy for me to surpress the love feelings that were creeping in everytime I spend time with him, so we meet, text and call each other more often and any time of the day, it didnt feel like I was dating someone who stays with his GF

But recently I have found out that everytime he leaves to his GF I got terrific hurt, everytime I think about him I cant hold my breath anymore, everytime I talk to him be it facial or on the phone I felt like screaming "I LOVE YOU, CANT U SEE IM FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU?" all thos kinda feelings took over and then I knew I had to let him go, I cudnt do this to myself anymore, I met him again yesterday but I cudnt brought myself into telling him about my decision, I love him, so I decided that I wont do it but when he left me I knew I had to do it and doing it facial was gona be a mission, I called him and told him that we have to stop what we are doing coz its becoming unhealthy for me, I cudnt get myself to telling him the real reason behind my decision, he was real upset over the phone and said its ok now that Im done with him I wana leave him, anyway he is in no position to convince me otherwise and then we said our goodbyes, and now Im feeling like the world has come down on me, I am so hurt, heart broken, I miss him so much, he is the only person who seemed to understand me, who seemed to be so compatible with me and yet he has to be so unavailable, I deleted his number everywhere coz I didnt wana be tempted to call him again, but now I am regreting the decision, everything feels so horrible wrong, I dont know what to do,

Do you think I made the right decision for leaving him, should I be regreting it now, I dared him not to call me or talk to me again but everytime my phone rings I hope its him

Hahahahahahahahah, LMAO, U guys just made my day

As 100% of this forum is aware that I am single and Looking and 25 yrs old and sound 40, 41, late 30s or 50, hahahahahahahahha LMAO

So I went out last Satarday with a crue of my friends, met a guy, we had such a great tym and we agreed to each other that we really did, nothing much happened, but I came back home the following day because we stayed out until 4am and then we all went to sleep at my friend's place, he was also there too so we had another party until morning, and then he had to go b4 all of us, had some commitment according to him, he was willing to accompany me back home but then I cudnt go at the moment coz I and my friend had something we needed to do b4 I leave so he smsed me after a couple of minutes telling me what fun was it and he foretells that there is gona be much more of us together, I was sleeping by the tym of the sms, I just read it and went back to sleep and later after waking up I replied declaring the same thing too, like, I also had such a good tym and nothing more and since that day he never talk to me again and today its Tuesday and the sms was sent on Sunday

And why hasnt he called I dont know

Why hasnt he called

Tips to Know if He Loves You
Don't worry damsels, here are some useful tips to know whether your mate/partner or lover really loves you or not:

* A very obvious one when he takes interests in your matters like work schedule, it means he is really concerned with you and loves you.

* Whenever a guy keeps a track on your habits, remembers whatever you do and say simply indicates his love for you.

* When a guy wants to spend more time with you, dates out with you at places of your choice and share the your favorite pastimes then he is madly in love with you.

* If he gives more importance to his friends even if you are sick or in need of him shows his lack of interest in you.

* Changing of topic when you discuss about your future with him is not a good sign of a healthy relationship with your love.

* If he doesn't want to spend time with you or don't ever want to go out with you in public and never introduces you to his friends mean he does not love you.

* When he calls you or message you just to chitchat with you means he deeply loves you and was finding any reason to talk to you.

* If he is really concerned about you and loves you then he would always take out time from his busy schedule.

* When he keeps looking you when you are around and suddenly takes off his eyes when you look at him shows he's in love with you.

* When he praises about you to his friends, family and others means he truly loves you.

* His every action will make you believe he loves you.

* If he changes his plans or cancels them last minute then he is surely avoiding you.

* If he is trying to be friendly with you and tries to make an effort to know more about you shows signs of love for you.

* You can make out from a person's eyes. The person in love with you has special shine in his eyes when he's talking to you.

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats all I can say

ITbomb:

I now see the whole picture. I guess you are a lovely lady who feel that inspite of your wonderful self, nature has play a joke on you by not givin you an equally wonderful person who will love and respect you and you alone. But i can also infer that you were a little pumpous with guys when you were playing u'25. As i was saying you really need a lovechild and i can help you there. Here are my spec : 6'6, 38cm chest, 28, fairly dark, 16' down, consultant - ph, I can assure you the baby 'girl' will come out clean. No strings attached unless you attached it. Check my id

Ok ITBomb u can drop me a line my email: coz I dont have your ID

TeskyMan:

[size=14pt]This is another TRACEY'S post where she proclaimed her age again. We all can't be fool in NAIRALAND.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=299403.msg4228348#msg4228348

"And that's what I have learned in the past 40 yrs of my life hey - posted on on July 22, 2009, 07:27 AM"

I am very happy that she has shot herself in her legs. Tracey was 40 in 2009 and in 2010 she is 41 years old, Ohh ANTY Tracey sorry, you go soon get husband and pickin.

Jokes apart, after my findings on who ANTY TRACY is, I think she created this tread SINCERELY to seek advise from people. In all fairness, she aint looking for all the qualities she earlier mentioned in any man, based on what i read in all her previous post since 2009. In my own opinion, I think she wanted to know the reaction of people to this kind of topic, perhaps she can learn some things and then move on in life. She would be an adorable person, very caring and tender woman. Maybe, a honest man has never come her way. She also has issues with men as she rightly said in some of her post last year. In all, shes 41 years old and a very kind hearted person.

Tracy good luck to you, I hope you have leant a lot from this tread you created. Wish you all the best in life. Please don't nail me to the cross, you can also do your findings on her and see if I am right or wrong.

My 2 cent. [/size]

Man!!!!!!!! Your such a fool and stuborn too, have you read all the comments

Im shocked that U still take sometym out to continue answering this thread, I see ur making this age thing a very big issue and you dont only stop there, you go all the way and also try to act some kind of a detective, anyway over the past 100 yrs of my life i have learnt that guys read between lines and pretend as if they know you better than you do

I have been on the internet trying to collect information Im trying to put together a computer traning academy and at the end I would like to issue cirtificates, now my trouble is who do you register to when starting such business, and do I need to be accredated for any reason

Thanks in advance

@Poster

Regain your confidence, work hard day and night, slog ur body and mind just to make something out of urself. Finally set up ur own company, Live by these words “You never fail until you stop trying, u must make it in life!” after all is said done, go and say hi to her and marry someone else

Sure please go ahead and tell her, she crushed on u once, and telling her how u feel is the only way to find out if she still feel the same

@Poster

Sh!t happens, life sucks, relationships dont work, love dies, but in the end we have to learn the lesson and move on, I know its easier said than done and it hurts especially when the so called love partner doesnt show any remorse about it all as if it meant nothing but I have a feeling that his ego is bruised a bit, and he doesnt wana bruise it any further, I think right now its pride acting up, man, you have shared a bed with this person there in no way he didnt or not feeling anything for u, maybe just not enough to bend his arrogance and beg but hey U can never know when it comes to guys so dont take my word for it, Give urself time to heal and to get in terms with the fact and in the mean time held your head high, your shoulders straight up and back on that confident look, it will get better in tym, dont look for a rebound, or try to get his attention anyhow he is not worth it,

Oh God Im so tired of defending my age and location, tell you what, U may blv what u want, I dont care, U can call me lier or whatever U wana call me, its really unimportant to me right now and its no longer a big deal,

To those who sencerely answered my plea thank you guys, I really needed it blv me, and to the rest of u who thinks otherwise, I hope one day you grow up and understand that I really dont have tym to wake up and type that essay just to seek attention ok

And I refuse to defend my location, the truthfulness of the story or my location neither, but I feel like I need to say this again, Im a Nigerian, from Abuja and Im 25 yrs old of age and Im no longer interested in your unrelevant comments

Now go ahead and waste your tym and pretend as if U know me better than I do and pretend as if u can some kind of a Lawyer who can twist my words or collect irrelevant information from Old threads, what would u say when u hear me saying for the past 1000 years Ive been doing this and that, Go figure

Charles A.:

@poster,what is it you really want,a boyfriend,a sugar boy,a husband or Mr right?. It was clear from the post you used to open this thread,that men do not reach your so called requirements and that you hate being alone and how you wish to have kids,and people are advicing you in relation to how you go about finding the so called perfect one and now I GAVE YOU MINE and you say you are not looking for Mr right,oh sorry I SEE YOU ARE FUSTRATED AND CONFUSED ALSO ABOUT WHAT EXACTLY YOU WANT FROM THIS THREAD,SO HERE IS MY ADVICE FOR YOU BUY A PLAYSTATION 3 AND PLAY SOME GAMES IT WI LL KEEP YOUR MIND BUSY AWAY FROM YOUR PRESENT STATE(FUSTRATED).AND DON'T FORGET TO KEEP F**KING YOURSELF,YOUR MIND IS SEPERATED FROM YOUR BRAIN.CHEERS.

U obviously read between lines, I said I did not say I wanted Mr. Right here, let me elaborate, I did not say I wanted Mr. Right from Nairaland forum, I was just asking for the advice here(meaning in Nairaland forum), what I say/write here, on this forum, shouldnt concern my finding Mr. Right, but anyway why bother explaining, U obviously have your mind seperated from your brain

And I really understand why this is pissing you off guys really, is it possible that u wana be my Mr. Right

Charles A.:

@poster,based on your insultive replies to some of these posts on your thread,it is vivid for everyone to know you have got a temper which makes you get easily irritated,please you must correct this or else your Mr right may see this problem in you and walk out of your life for good,it is just an advice,take care.

Who said I wanted Mr. Right here, What I was asking was an advice from this forum not Mr. Right and I recieved more than I expected and I could never be more greatful for that

s.ohiemi:

@tracey u sure he's not a CRETIN!u know u realli h8 short guys. . . . . . . Lol,so how iz lyf treatin u?@cretin no offense

Well we didnt say we'd date, LOL, but hey Life is treating me better than u and how is it treating u

cretin:

copy it out.cos am gonna take it down in a few.cos of spammers /haters.

Ok u can take it down, I will drop u a line

cretin:

Hi tracey.goin tru your post.i see dat we r in allmost having de same dilenma.just dat am male.here is my cellphone nos.
08135051427.send me a txt./call.
I blv de interaction wud b mutually illuminating&beneficial 2 us.
Nb.i aint asking u out.i just feel u r a kindred spirit
Ciao.

How abt an email address

SA Goddess:

Waiting for boss to sign off my leave, paper work done already!

But Tracey, how come you said you were in SA then Abuja, which one is true?

Nigeria, Abuja

blank:

Your word is as good as poo to me cos you av shown yourself 2 be a liar.

Suit yourself Mr.

Vic2k3:

Quote from: Tracey121 on Today at 10:56:05 am

Oh yeah.

I hope that didn't get u frustrated the more. Btw I've reread tru this thread and deducted that u're a nice girl who doesn't know how to show it. Jxt be natural and don't feel toooo beautiful. <<cos it doesn't help trust me

I am very nice and sweet and no Im not frustrated by the responses at all, Im just diggesting the most suitable and leave the rest and I know how to show my kindness blv me, its just that I've heard a lot about this forum before I could join it, I used to entertain myself with the responses that faint-hearted and weak would have read and die 1000 tyms before they can finish reading the entire thread and when I posted this I was alarmed by the 1st response it was so sencere and considerate, I ws not expecting it, I must say I was dissapointed, I was hoping for something so harsh that I will just LOL, Maybe you guys have changed or whatever but some of u r still the same, I love sarcasm and ppl who speak their mind especially over the internet , it makes my days more interesting

But 99% of the original post is sencere and truthful and I really needed an advice

blank:

Tracey, u are a big time liar. U said u are honest n u don't tell lies dat is why u are looking 4 an honest man. How come on d first page u said u were in South Africa now u are a Nigerian living in Abuja? U can go ahead n modify your post cos I am using my phone so I can't quote it. If you can contradict urself in a single thread n even admit dat some are exaggerations den it calls into question all your posts. I think you are an attention seeker.

In response 2 your topic, I hope u get your heart's desire.

Im a Nigerian and Im in Abuja, is it possible that u can my word for it

Vic2k3:

**folds arms** U've seen how they tore u limb by limb 4 your too high expectations.

Oh yeah

Eish mara guys, honestly speaking, u have managed to put one thing into perspective for me, but I will rather keep it a secret until I am sure I can be able to put it in practice

Desireena:

I was feeling you while reading your unhappiness because I was like here is somebody that knows exactly how loneliness feels but girlfriend along the way I could not feel you any longer because you have somethings wrong wrong but I am not angry with you because you are such a baby. Just like somebody mentioned here if you stick to that your checklist and even the improved checklist you may have to wait another 25 years to find him sweetheart.
I am 34. I consider myself a very good wife material because I am domesticated, have a heart for others and love God and I am praying that soon enough the man God has for me will get lucky and find me. I was busy trying to graduate from the university and when I did finally graduate and started working a very good job. The suitors I had were more in love with my good job than me. The marketing job on the other hand was driving me nuts with all forms of pressures both sexual advances from clients and pressures from superiors so I quit and left Naija to another country where Life changed dramatically.While waiting to get a work permit before I can get a decent job, I worked security, subway restaurant etc took all kind of maltreatment from people of that country who feel that you should not work with them. There are Nigerian doctors  here of course but my dear who wants to marry a security officer. Right now, I have my permit to work and now works a job a bit decent for an Engineer but this natural longing for a family is as frustrating as you said dear.So you see this is how the years ran up on me and as you can also see I have seen the up(when men gravitate to you because of your large pay package) and downside of life(when men gravitate away from you because you seem to be below their class).  Again the fact that I kept myself way into my thirties before experimenting with sex contributed to it all because most men that come around do not hang on if you are not having sex with them.
  I understand the longings of your heart dear because there's nothing we ladies can do but wait for a man to come and marry us. The deductions I made from your write-up showed me that you are an intelligent and beautiful young lady but you seem to have a little pride which had your expectations from a man too unrealistic.  I agree with you that one must be attracted to who one wants to spend the rest of their life with.There's nothing wrong with knowing what you are worth and wanting respect and kindness from your man but there's something wrong with thinking that you are worth more than certain people Baby. You need not cross out certain kind of men, you can meet a very intelligent man  that have some but not all these qualities but he happen to be short so out he goes out of your list , you can also meet a tall, dark handsome hottie just the way you like em but he lacks in other dept so that is how you will keep being choosy. I am an Engineer but I don't look down on any Nigerian man,  I have dated the unschooled trader, a crippled and a near blind school mates have even indicated their interest to have me. You know why because I mingled with them and accepted them as friends. The man for you may be stocked up in a short body and there you are waiting for a hunky man, which reminds me that the first time I became fully aware that I am tall was the day somebody complimented my long legs, it meant nothing to me that I am tall.
I can see that both of us are suffering from the natural Baby blues but girlfriend you need to come down from that tree and meet me down here for a tete-a-tete and do make away with that improved checklist of yours because the truth is there's no one man with all those attributes. Physical appearance is not all that makes a man. Give me a man that has a heart for God, a man that respects himself and others and I can check and balance the rest and see whether we are compatible enough.If he is so short that his hugs won't go all around me, I will give him much hugs that will be enough for the two of us. If he can't be hunky for me, I will be the hunk for the two of us. If he is too thin, I will feed him and he will hunk and macho up for us. Now let me stop lest I  make you regret the ones you have rejected in the past that you nicknamed "a** holes". Girlfriend you gotta get that rose tinted coloured glass out of your eyes to be able to recognise a goodly man when he finally arrives. Now Tracy quit being a baby and grow up girl.

I couldnt said it better myself, crystal clear and a whole lot of sense in it

Kelvinj:

This poster is full of bull SHI T for all i care, her story filled with fabrications. Hey tracy or whatever your name is what even makes u think u have the quality any man wants? FU CK am So pissed.
1 WORD: UPGRADE GIRL

Not the kind of response/reaction I was looking for,

samoks:

Tracygirl,

And how close are you to GOD? Sit back and think over it, is God really your best friend? How many times do you communicate with him? He is the only solution to your singleness.

God is the only person who understand me, he is my Father

Rymzo:

Where is d poster?

Im over here

chikeorji123:

she is just pulling our leg,l'm sure she is not 25 neither 30.Buy the way,for you to have a quality man,u must also be quality b/c these -
type of men have their owned standard. OR why can't u post your picture?

I aint pulling nobody's leg, and how old do u think I am

Im so touched/thrilled by the number of responses I get from this post and U know what I think, Ur guys are right, there is no point in chasing pavements and living in cloud 1000

Allow me to officially close the thread, the comments are no longer useful to me

tensor777:

^^I don't know why you are rambling about abstaining from sex for a long time.

The point is what qualities do you presently have that would make you attractive to a man? That is what you should be concerned about and not fulfilling childhood fantasies or reliving teenage heartbreak.

Whatever you may say it is still the man's prerogative as to whether he considers you suitable for a life-partner.

You Questioned my truthfulness about the story so I explained, I would like to believe that u know how to read and your memory is not disturbed in anyway

Decryptor:

The Poster of this topic no get handwork at all. She should remain single for all i care, O! by the way @poster, i have all the qualities u want in a man! Just pay in N50m into my account and "VIOLA!" i will marry you asap****hisses aand walks out of thread****

I hope u know that ur not that funny

deniyor:

No one knows the true story but there is a good argument for both sides of the coin.
At no point did she say she wasnt dating people btw age 17 - 25. She said she had lots of short relationships and did not get into bed with them. Is it so hard to fathom someone in a relationship and not hving sex? She abstained from sex, and not from relationships.

And who says she might not hv been active pre-17. We all know how it is today.

We can only comment on what any poster tells us. If they don't give us the full picture, we can't help them fully cos we only know what we are told. No need to try plucking holes in people's tales.

Based on her emotional feelings of loneliness and desperation, it's easy to feel the poster in older than 25. However, I believe even those younger than 25 yr olds feel very lonely and desperate esp with the kind of society we have where marriage is everything.

You and I might not believe in whatever the poster is doing, but everyone deserves a break so you do just that. Give her a break.

You dude are my guy, Ppl Im telling the truth, I started dating when I was 14 years old with my 1st BF, whom I loved so much and that was 1999, and then we had our very nonbreaking virginity sex on 2001 November 29th and I was 16 by the tym, we were both young just doing what my age mates had done long before, by that tym I was suppose to be married, then we had to break up coz we found out that we were related, we tried to sneak and see each other behind our parent's back but then we couldnt have the nonbreaking virginity sex coz we didnt want ppl to know we were still seeing each other, I hope u understand what Im trying to say here, so we finaly broke and get in terms with the fact that he was my brother and I was his sister, he is the only person I ever loved so I moved so did, we used to get hurt to see each other with other ppl then we agreed that no BFs or GFs until we move to other places and that period contributed to my 8 yrs of abtinence then I couldnt love and I couldnt have sex, I had been to R/S that never lasted, 1 week or month but I never wanted to sleep with them coz my heart was always with my first BF and I couldnt imagine sleeping with someone else except him, he moved to another place and i did for school puporse, I met guys and I dated, loved some and never loved some, but vowed to never sleep with them until I was sure I can hold on until maybe a year, I mean after my 1st BF I realized that I couldnt keep a BF at all and my parents taught me to only open my legs after 90 days and Ive been living up to their expectation so since 2001 I never have sex coz my r/s couldnt last that long until recently, and that was the end of 2009(23 November) where I said screw what my parents said after meeting this guy I thought I loved, I took him to my went to my house on the 1st date and we bang the roof, boy was it painful, he is the one who broke my virginity after all and guess what I never wanted to see him again, I know he is one of the ppl I hurt but atleast he got to sleep with me but that made him more fond of me and the next thing I dont pick up his calls, and when I do and agree on seeing him again I stood him up, Im very feeling guilty abt that, This may sound like one of the pranks that ppl pull but its really true

I will start again from the beginning

1. everything I said here is sencerely true, all or most of these things I have mentioned have happened, just a bit of exhageration here and there
2. I am really 25 years, not 30 or 40 or 50 but just 25 and I dont like being single
3. I have created this nonexisting creature at the back of my head and I am fully aware that I might not be able to find such person but who knows dreams do come true
4. I have gone way out of my way just to be the person I want and looking for and it heals me, really satisfying
5. I believe that I should be treated with respect and kindness and if that cant happen then let me be single
6. I will never date a thin person or a short person either, u can count on that
7. I will never date someone I dont love, ever, been down that road and it doesnt end well
8. If I didnt think you can be a candidate at the first place, nothing and I mean nothing will ever change that n if I try to force things, Imma end up hurting u very bad and I dont ever want that to happen again, I have hurt so many ppl in my life thinking that I would happen to love them in the long run but the more I spend time with them, the more they hope I will love them but the opposite will always be true to me
9. In the past couple of years, I have been trying to understand what kind of person I am, but unfortunately I have to learn myself as I go by, coz I have come to understand that I am so unpredictable n it bothers me and it always shock ppl, what I want today maybe different from what I will want tomorrow or even the same day
10. Yes I have dated a couple of assholes and a couple of good guys but then they were never meant to be with me
11. I am everything I have mentioned on my requirements except that I day dream a lot and most of my life is been lived in a fantasy world
12. It shouldnt shock you that I am concerned about being single at the age of 25, I mean 25 is very old, each one of my friends have their BFs and children its so touching and Im older than them, and now I spend my weekends alone with my laptop and internet, I cant take it coz they stay with their BFs and they think its funny
13. I want my love story to begin and end like in a mind blowing romantic movie OH GOD, Im gona wish I hadnt said that
14. I know what I want from my ideal partner and that list is just shorts, its not even close to what Im looking for, n u all panicking, I wonder what will u say when I come with my improved check list,

One more last thing, Go on and attack me, Great story to tell my children before bed, when they are concieved, who wana be the father

@THEBLESSED, I am really 25

@Jidsoon, I have tried the number u gave me but I guess some of u think is a big joke

Oh God I dont know how did this happened, my married collegue is scaring me, he just sent me an sms, telling me if he could win my heart he'd leave his wife and he wishes that he was not married and I know thats untrue, but the problem is he is making me very uncorfotable, I respect him, what should I do, I need to turn him down gentle, I never answered his smss or comments that he makes at work but now its getting out of hand, he acompany me to the gym almost everyday, he carries my bag, he moved chairs if Im about to sit, I cant get my head around that, He hugs at the work place and kisses me on my chin, he is taking this very seriously and I dont know what to do and he told me he is going to a Sangoma so that he can win my heart, I know thats a joke mara, he buys me lunch almist everyday and he doesnt have the money I know, its very touching, I cant date someone who is got a family, a very innocent wife and adorable child, tell me how do I turn him down without causing any hostility between us, This is serious, I cant afford to have him upset with me, we are so close, and we are friends and I dont know what to say, I just smile at him maybe if he didnt have the child and that sweet wife of his, I would nai him but I really never want to put a child's life in a misery of not having a father I know how it feels, I told him that the 20% he wana leave 80% for can be very appealing but at the end its just 20% but he still sms me such messages, I dont know what to do now

earthrealm:

nuthin wrong wit the poster  having  high standards, we all started out that way.
just that she is being sturborn by not adjusting her standards, u cant ever get 100%  in a human  being.
@poster, my advice 2 u  is at east any dude that scores  from  70% n above,  do consider  him, the earlier u realize  that there is  nuthing like the 'perfect'  mate,  the  better  4  u, every 1  has  short comings, even  u  urself  the  poster,  u  hv  your own  short cumings

@poster, are u above  35?

No Im only 25, so young and yet so old, and yeah ur right we can only dream,

d bigrod:

[size=13pt]
@tracey,what will u offer a man dat has all those qualities?[/size]

I am just like him except that I have those attributes in a very feminine way

Oh My God, I have diggested all the advice and information given and unfortunately I cant stomach all of that so I will take what I think its good enough for me and book out so thank you ladies and gentlemen for taking some tym out to attack and advise me, it was much appreciated believe me, its touching to know that there are some of us out there who still think

I am a Nigerian by the way, and I reside in Abuja if u think ur man enough to stand your ground and face the music, u think u have what it takes to be shortlisted then reply to this