simayanki4real: Hello gents & dolls...

I have been a realist all my life, always trying to justify the true reason for the existence of certain things, yet still believing humans have the tendency to give in atimes. With that in mind, let me tell this story perhaps to enlighten some in the group:

I met a beautiful lady on a chat site & while she seemed reasonable we agreed to meet. I 'tucked in my shirt' and set out through the hot sun to meet her at the meeting place. She had a beautiful picture on the site so i rehearsed in the taxi all i would say, & perhaps do.

On getting there, i met a lady though elegant and mature, slightly different from the picture i was expecting but nonetheless i approached. I was welcomed & we began talking intimately as though we had known before...

It was then i discovered that she was a divorcee with two very beautiful daughters. From her story, i gathered that she met the guy, fell in love with him even though he wasn't in love with her. Somehow she got pregnant with the first daughter and conditions in her family made the guy carry out a traditional marriage.

While she was on the thought that the arrival of the baby would bring love and affection into the home (which i have always thought is the case) turned out to be outrightly differnt. Though they were married it seemed there were good neighbours tuggling from on mountain to another. About two years giving birth to the daughter she heard from a reliable source that the husband's ex had given birth to a baby for the husband. Ofcourse his attitude during the period anticipated a change somewhere.

She had the next pregnancy perhaps in a 'make-up sex' and one month later, he got up & said he was going to South Africa to get a job. Being a good wife, she said ok and he left. Today makes it 2years and 3months since the husband left and since then she has heard not a word from him or a mail.

The husband through his best friend passed a message to her to go on living her life without him because he is happily married and is not coming back to her. That when he is ready, he will come for his kids. When she told me, i lost all energy and my mind kept trying to find a reason, perhaps where or when something went wrong.

I may have gone there in the hopes of finding a girl for myself, but i went there and found a mirror with which to see myself & a measuring scale with which to weigh myself... Hence i depicted the following:

1) Ladies, Please do not love a man with all of our heart (in the sane assumption that he cannot love you with all of his)

2) Once in a while, check his phones, texts messages, mails perhaps just as an insurance policy. (I may not like it but i sure as hell would condone such a behaviour from guys)

3) Spice your relationship every once in a while by giving your man a treat (if you have one) either in a date, romance or whatever he loves.

4) Be prayerful in your relationship as most men want dedicated christians as wives.

5) As i do not consider women to be anything lesser, so apply wisdom in your relationships, be truly friendly to your companion's friends and family. And when you do not feel welcomed, muster the courage and tell him, if change does not come...LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP!

6) Finally, for the influential, mature, educated, & financially stable women (i adore your kind) and while most men (like me) may feel uncomfortable walking up & actually undergoing a special woo-ing process for you; try and put up a smile, be accomodating, be friendly, be social and you JUST MIGHT find a guy who gets you (irrespective of his age).



Hope this helps!

Morning,

I don't know how many times It's will be said that NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, not a dozen kids, not your tears, not your sacrifices, not your very life can make a man who doesn't love you love you. I wonder where women got the idea that 'get pregnant for him and he would love you bla bla'.

Check out the homes where the wife is maltreated, she probably forced, coerced or threatened a man who doesn't love her to marry her.

nbright: This will be very hard for a Nigerian girl to do... VERY VERY HARD... Most think it's only money that matters in a relationship, they always expect the guy to take them out to classy restaurants for dates, buy them the trendiest wears, pet them always, finding cash to give them even if he'e broke, etc... Ladies should know that it's also expected of them to contribute in little ways to a relationship... It shouldn't be made to be one sided.

^^^
@the bolded part,you should learn the act of moderation by using "some" instead of generalization.I believe you re talking out of experience,you have really been unlucky with the opposite sex.I pray you meet that one person who will change your orientation.

carmelion:

^^^
@the bolded part,you should learn the act of moderation by using "some" instead of generalization.I believe you re talking out of experience,you have really been unlucky with the opposite sex.I pray you meet that one person who will change your orientation.

@Carm, I don't think its just nbright alone, it seems most good guys have been unlucky with ladies. And from experience, I would say it is often the playboys that get the better share of good ladies and women in general, and this is still a mystery to mankind as to why women prefer or fall prey more easily to playboys, and I think is because of any of these:

1. Ladies react to verbal words and playboys tell a lot of sweet, believable lies.

2. Ladies think with their eyes (what they see at the instant), and playboys are good in creating a fantasy world that virtually all ladies love.

3. Good guys are too real for ladies to appreciate, which seem to be the trouble the world has when it come to this issue of love expedition/voyage.

@Ichidodo, just like Maya said, u guys are on the same lane but on diff speed.

But I wouldn't advice anyone to be too fast in meeting someone he/she met online.

I am speaking from experience. I joined nairaland with a very positive good heart, and mainly to promote my literary works and to also help other youths discover and promote theirs, and in the process, I formed a national association to unite young Nigerians who aspire to become acclaimed and successful writers in novel and script writing.

In the process of coordinating this association, I met lots of nairalanders via phone conversations cos I was calling and emailing them, so many and we even arranged zonal meetings in Abuja, Enugu and Lagos. I went to Enugu own, only few people turned up at Lagos own, Abuja was boom.

To cut the whole story short, some of the members, the ones I took as my closest pals, guys, not even females, turned against me and even accused me indirectly of trying to loot the association's funds and that I wanted to use the association to promote my personal goals and businesses, a female member, the treasurer, saved my head and made things clear.

Plus other issues that I have encountered on this nairaland that made to understand that internet is not really filled with wonderful people who sound so wonderful in words. So I will advice anyone to be very cautious and dnt be in a haste to show your face or meet in real life. Pray about it, be smart and take your time, to be on the safe side. I thank God I am still alive to testify cos who knows what cud have happened, though I sometimes feel bad when I remember the amount of money, time and emotion I devoted in that cause that is yet to be a reality due to un-paralleled missions of members

DailyNews:

I am speaking from experience. I joined nairaland with a very positive good heart, and mainly to promote my literary works and to also help other youths discover and promote theirs, and in the process, I formed a national association to unite young Nigerians who aspire to become acclaimed and successful writers in novel and script writing.

In the process of coordinating this association, I met lots of nairalanders via phone conversations cos I was calling and emailing them, so many and we even arranged zonal meetings in Abuja, Enugu and Lagos. I went to Enugu own, only few people turned up at Lagos own, Abuja was boom.

To cut the whole story short, some of the members, the ones I took as my closest pals, guys, not even females, turned against me and even accused me indirectly of trying to loot the association's funds and that I wanted to use the association to promote my personal goals and businesses, a female member, the treasurer, saved my head and made things clear.

Plus other issues that I have encountered on this nairaland that made to understand that internet is not really filled with wonderful people who sound so wonderful in words. So I will advice anyone to be very cautious and dnt be in a haste to show your face or meet in real life. Pray about it, be smart and take your time, to be on the safe side. I thank God I am still alive to testify cos who knows what cud have happened, though I sometimes feel bad when I remember the amount of money, time and emotion I devoted in that cause that is yet to be a reality due to un-paralleled missions of members

I really don't like bringing other topics into this thread but i want you to know that it is normal.First this is Nigeria,secondly,they are guys, they need money.What you experienced is very common in a place where people feel they are not in the management level,they re not in the fore front.They think it is easy,you know the grass looks greener on another persons lawn.That is why people leave PDP to form APGA,just to lead,then when people join APGA and discover that the line is so long ,they break away and form CPC.

Don't let it discourage you. Everyone wants to be in front but guess what?, everybody would not be in front.Some would be in the middle,others would be at the back.I want to be the manager in my office but you know what?,there can't be two managers.In life some will be rich,some will be average,some will be poor,but no matter your position,just know that some one is below you,and some one is above you.The earlier people realize this,life would be easier.


Please keep up the good work.When next you will organise in Abuja,hint(PM) me just in case am around.Takia

carmelion:

I really don't like bringing other topics into this thread but i want you to know that it is normal.First this is Nigeria,secondly,they are guys, they need money.What you experienced is very common in a place where people feel they are not in the management level,they re not in the fore front.They think it is easy,you know the grass looks greener on another persons lawn.That is why people leave PDP to form APGA,just to lead,then when people join APGA and discover that the line is so long ,they break away and form CPC.

Don't let it discourage you. Everyone wants to be in front but guess what?, everybody would not be in front.Some would be in the middle,others would be at the back.I want to be the manager in my office but you know what?,there can't be two managers.In life some will be rich,some will be average,some will be poor,but no matter your position,just know that some one is below you,and some one is above you.The earlier people realize this,life would be easier.


Please keep up the good work.When next you will organise in Abuja,hint(PM) me just in case am around.Takia

I apologize for bringing that topic here, what made me to bring it up was saxking's comment and nbright's response, so I tried letting them know why many people now feel reluctant to take online friendship and transaction serious to the extent of meeting in real life, so I shared my experience cos I like teaching from what I know best. But I am sorry for that, let it not discourage anyone with good intention pls...just be cautious, thats all.

@Carm, since those incidents, I had been finding it difficult to surface in real life again...I have even lost passion and interest, and I am now a backbencher watching things from afar, still praying to get back my passion and interest anyway. So I don't think I will be attending any of YAN's real life meetings anytime sooner unless God intervenes.

Thanks...your thread had been helpful and its part of the reason I still post on nairaland. God bless you for initiating this, I pray it helps as many people as possible find whatever it is their heart desires.

*yawns*


am a newbie,you guys school me some more

DailyNews: I apologize for bringing that topic here, what made me to bring it up was saxking's comment and nbright's response, so I tried letting them know why many people now feel reluctant to take online friendship and transaction serious to the extent of meeting in real life, so I shared my experience cos I like teaching from what I know best. But I am sorry for that, let it not discourage anyone with good intention pls...just be cautious, thats all.

@Carm, since those incidents, I had been finding it difficult to surface in real life again...I have even lost passion and interest, and I am now a back bencher watching things from afar, still praying to get back my passion and interest anyway. So I don't think I will be attending any of YAN's real life meetings anytime sooner unless God intervenes.

Thanks...your thread had been helpful and its part of the reason I still post on nairaland. God bless you for initiating this, I pray it helps as many people as possible find whatever it is their heart desires.

^^^@bolded C'mon that was not neccesary .I just feel it would distract the purpose of this thread,but on the other hand,no knowledge is a waste.

From my analysis,i think you placed the cart before the horse.Before you embark on a great mission/project such as what you did,so many things has to be in place,both financially,economically,everythingcally(my own English) but most importantly, emotionally and psychologically.

Personally I have this habit of always expecting the worst behavior from people,So far i am not in a hurry to change it cos it has served as shock absorber for me. I mean I hardly get surprised.I was betrayed by a group of friends during NYSC. After that,I expect less positivism from people.If they turn out to be good?,hurraaay!,if they turn out to be bad?..........

That mindset does not affect my relationship with people but before they act negatively,i already know they would do it.It does not happen all the time,but in most cases,i know.Besides NOT EVERYBODY WILL LIKE YOU,JUST THE WAY YOU DON'T LIKE EVERYBODY.

well,take time to relax and cool your mind. Perharps that experience was your own platform to learn.But don't let your dreams die.I usually see that thread,but i did not know you were the initiator.Thumbs up to you.

God will see you through as long as your motives are clean.

Hey Dolls.hope you having a nice day?.Mine has been awesome.Kinda less busy.Rolling towards the weekend.I saw this thread on the front page so I felt i should post it here for future purposes.

I learnt a lot from it,please do not start what you cannot finish.I subscribe to Chaircover's contribution on page 3.For the single ladies in this dilemma,the thread might help.

https://www.nairaland.com/1217077/how-bad-it-return-engagement/3

nbright: This will be very hard for a Nigerian girl to do... VERY VERY HARD... Most think it's only money that matters in a relationship, they always expect the guy to take them out to classy restaurants for dates, buy them the trendiest wears, pet them always, finding cash to give them even if he'e broke, etc... Ladies should know that it's also expected of them to contribute in little ways to a relationship... It shouldn't be made to be one sided..




Not FANATICS




I pray they apply it... There is this saying that if Muhammed does not go to the mountain, the mountain will ......... You know the rest..

Yeah bro, i hope they do!

DailyNews: @Ichidodo, just like Maya said, u guys are on the same lane but on diff speed.

But I wouldn't advice anyone to be too fast in meeting someone he/she met online.

I am speaking from experience. I joined nairaland with a very positive good heart, and mainly to promote my literary works and to also help other youths discover and promote theirs, and in the process, I formed a national association to unite young Nigerians who aspire to become acclaimed and successful writers in novel and script writing.

In the process of coordinating this association, I met lots of nairalanders via phone conversations cos I was calling and emailing them, so many and we even arranged zonal meetings in Abuja, Enugu and Lagos. I went to Enugu own, only few people turned up at Lagos own, Abuja was boom.

To cut the whole story short, some of the members, the ones I took as my closest pals, guys, not even females, turned against me and even accused me indirectly of trying to loot the association's funds and that I wanted to use the association to promote my personal goals and businesses, a female member, the treasurer, saved my head and made things clear.

Plus other issues that I have encountered on this nairaland that made to understand that internet is not really filled with wonderful people who sound so wonderful in words. So I will advice anyone to be very cautious and dnt be in a haste to show your face or meet in real life. Pray about it, be smart and take your time, to be on the safe side. I thank God I am still alive to testify cos who knows what cud have happened, though I sometimes feel bad when I remember the amount of money, time and emotion I devoted in that cause that is yet to be a reality due to un-paralleled missions of members

Yeah, somehow u are correct but on a personal note i still beg to differ.

carmelion:

^^^
@the bolded part,you should learn the act of moderation by using "some" instead of generalization. I believe you re talking out of experience,you have really been unlucky with the opposite sex.I pray you meet that one person who will change your orientation.

@bolded... If u'd noticed my previous post u'd see that I do use "some"...

Hi preties. I woke up 2day feelin so depressed n lonely. Wishin 2 have dat special som1 beside me. I keep wonderin y life seems so mysterious n partial 2 me. This has been my feelin lately. I keep wonderin y its only peopl i dislike that show serious interest. Sometimes, i consider settlin 4 one of them hopin that likeness/love may develop wit time. but i'm very scared. Wat if it doesn't? So lonely (sobbing)

chichi254: Hi preties. I woke up 2day feelin so depressed n lonely. Wishin 2 have dat special som1 beside me. I keep wonderin y life seems so mysterious n partial 2 me. This has been my feelin lately. I keep wonderin y its only peopl i dislike that show serious interest. Sometimes, i consider settlin 4 one of them hopin that likeness/love may develop wit time. but i'm very scared. Wat if it doesn't? So lonely (sobbing)

I don't believe in love at 1st sight.... Love should be a gradual process and and u shouldn't wait for any "spark" or "shock" or "blast" or whatever it is that u do read on mills & boons... Love is like a plant, if u nuture it, it will grow and produce fruits... That's my own take on it... @maya, just because I put "spark" it doesn't mean I'm mocking you..

Shey al of una wey dey hear neva get bfs noniabi watin sef??

DISCLAMER: NOT ALL PLANTS BEAR FRUITS....

chichi254: Hi preties. I woke up 2day feelin so depressed n lonely. Wishin 2 have dat special som1 beside me. I keep wonderin y life seems so mysterious n partial 2 me. This has been my feelin lately. I keep wonderin y its only peopl i dislike that show serious interest. Sometimes, i consider settlin 4 one of them hopin that likeness/love may develop wit time. but i'm very scared. Wat if it doesn't? So lonely (sobbing)

Hello Chichi,

Marriage is not a magic 'state' that completes. It's what you bring into marriage that you get. If you are lonely before marriage, you will be after marriage and even infest your husband with loneliness. It is possible to be lonely in the midst of people.

Likeness/love rarely develop after marriage. YOu must work on it growing before marriage. Marriage is best enjoyed when you marry the person you do because you love him and can't wait to fulfill your visions and goals together than marrying because you are lonely.

Have you discovered what God created you to do? Are you currently working towards fulfilling it? Try to and you will find out that marriage is only a plus to a fulfilled life.

nbright: I don't believe in love at 1st sight.... Love should be a gradual process and and u shouldn't wait for any "spark" or "shock" or "blast" or whatever it is that u do read on mills & boons... Love is like a plant, if u nuture it, it will grow and produce fruits... That's my own take on it... @maya, just because I put "spark" it doesn't mean I'm mocking you..

I believe that love starts wit a spark, a flash and a boom! But the catch there is for it to be mutual. Yeah most relationship might not start like that but u wil agree with me if u are in a spark-flash-boom!-boom! Love affair then my good sir u r in one hell of a ride in a lifetime. I think that is what chichi is lookin 4 'the rush of blood to the head'

It seems this thread is based more on theories than practicals because the aim of this thread if I am not wrong is to bring more happiness, relaxation and practical tips that will help more willing single ladies on this thread to find lasting love that can lead to lifetime commitment, but that seems not to be the case, cos we seem to have more ladies whom I'm already believing are: nice, willing to love and genuine still wallowing in loneliness and unhappiness. so I want us to be more practical here to see if there can be some positive changes.

In order words, what are the practical ways/approaches/steps ladies can take to connect or fnd that their dream man before the end of this year? We will be discussing something like that gradually.

I want to start with chichi...I am sorry for how u are feeling right now, its so unfortunate, just calm down, u are very close to the finish line, plz hang on positively.

Chichi, u said that only guys u dnt fancy or feel for always come to u, now, I can't blame u cos its not ur fault, but u can't continue waiting for him to come only for the wrong ones to be coming, so I am going to profer a solution, but before that, I need u to tell me about this your dream man. Be free, don't be afraid of anyone here, all men can't suit ur desire, so fear no one and tell us as u desire him to be.

First, to help me and others profer very practical and result-bound solution, can u honestly and carefully spell out who or what this your dream man or kind of man looks like?

See, don't be shy, be straight, be open. Tell us his physical qualities, academic background, likely financial background, age, vital statistics (height, body structure), tribe or nationality (if applicable), likely location and everything you desire and wish.

If you and any other single lady here willing to find a suitable man can drop the info I asked for, I will make sure I give u ladies a very practicable guide to apply and if u do, I guarantee you 90% that u will be with that ur dream man before this year runs out.

The solution I am going to profer is not just for online use, nope, u will apply it in real life and possibly online if u also wish to, and I am very sure it will work becos it worked for so many ladies including foreigners I gave the tips. So be bold and honest.

@chichi, I also endorse bukatyne's comment, study her comment well, and also study nbright's own, most relationship that start off with that sweep of infactuation called love at first sight, hardly stand the test of time, but still, give me an answer to my request if u need me to help out in my own little way.

nbright: I don't believe in love at 1st sight.... Love should be a gradual process and and u shouldn't wait for any "spark" or "shock" or "blast" or whatever it is that u do read on mills & boons... Love is like a plant, if u nuture it, it will grow and produce fruits... That's my own take on it... @maya, just because I put "spark" it doesn't mean I'm mocking you..

tnx bright. I agree wit u dt love is meant 2 be nurtured 4 it 2 grow but what if there is no seed/plant of love at all, wat then is 2 be nurtured?

Maya2pretty: It's traumatizin to me when I feel so single and alone, yet there r alot of guys flockin around me, d one dat wants relationship, d one dat wants marriage and even d one that wants a fling, few seem very suitable but there's no connection wit anyone, no spark anywhere, no feelin developin, dat passionate feelin is not comin at all, I wonder what my soul mate is doin that he hasn't found me yet

You need to love yourself first. You won't understand the statement. Honestly, truly love yourself and you would begin to see the spark

This analogy of seed and plants dont do us justice here. Allow Spark and flame , u worry about not being wit someone special (spark) but detest been hitted on by those u dislike ( no spark) then u worry if u wil ever get to feel the heat (boom!)i.e be in a relationship wit dat special fame . Find someone u have a 'spark' for and whose feelin is mutual towards u, Maybe as a result of both of u having many things in common or havin the same life principles. Of course it would not be something mainly physical but mental social and physcological. If by Grace u hook up wit that special flame, both of u should nurture the spark and Boom! U have ureself something to die for and on top that 'a rush of blood to the head'

DailyNews: See, don't be shy, be straight, be open. Tell us his physical qualities, academic background, likely financial background, age, vital statistics (height, body structure), tribe or nationality (if applicable), likely location and everything you desire and wish.

well...(shy), simply put, someone whose nature/personality compliments mine. Because som1 may meet up wit most of d criteria yet deep inside u, u knw two of u are like far apart.
Anyways, I wish him 2 b,
*naturaly inteligent n God-fearin,
*complexion....dark
*taller than myself or same height wit me since i'm tall(winks)
*morally very sound
*hardworkin n goal oriented (then 2gether, we r gonna build WEALTH)
*agewise older than me(should be on his thirtees)
*physically flexible(not pot bellied orobo)
*very self confident
*same faith wit me(same church)
*same state
*hmmmm he has 2 be very carin, sensitive n romantic oooo(shyly covers my face)
*etceteraaa

Honestly, I love to get married but sometimes I am also scared of it. You get to hear weird stories like no sex due to hormonal changes in a woman. Nagging and cursing. In the office, I take a break to look at my marriage colleagues (senior and junior) and they all have this face of CONCERN written all over them. A senior colleague told me, or would I saw advised me - Please have all the sex in the world now, cos when you're married just forget about sex - and I asked why, he said women change. You need to saw my face, I was terrified.

Also, I want to ask about this stuff called STANDARD - what does it mean? You hear ladies saying it, I have got standard that I need to maintain. I don't believe in that crap, except a man is lazy he can improve. Your standard cannot buy you happiness.

Chi-Chi u have to relax abit and be more realistic...If a guy on scale of 10 scores 6 guess he is above average
...for me i prefer a lady who is
..articulate and very understanding
...Plumpy,Sexy and Romantic
...Preferably a working class
...Jovial and homely
...Prayerful and Principled
...South-Easterner
...Christian preferably catholic
If i were to be more realistic i will take 3 points here and leave the rest
-Plumpy,Sexy and Romanitc
-Christian/Principled
-Jovial and Homely
These 3 qualites

Hello dolls & gents! Am sure you had a great day & eve, so i'll just get right to my point.

@ chichi: All the ladies in this room who want to be satisfied and really settle with a man of their dreams should know two things:

1) Aint nobody can get you your dream man! Even if he was brought to your door step you still wouldn't gerit right. Therefore there is a part for you to play inorder to get your man.

2) There is no set man for you (people tend to disagree with this fact). You need to get the picture of the IDEAL man out of your head, because while you will be fixed on the man in your head, you forget the one that has been right in front of you.

Very much to the thousandth degree exists 'LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT' but also 'LUST AT FIRST SIGHT'. Many are confused by these very two uptill this day. I remember very much to this day exactly how my first love looked: I remember waalking into the church and as i glanced round the faces to say hello, i skipped my one... & i quickly rushed back.

She was a beauty, & i thought she should have been created by God himself (without help) and on the very first day of creation. Fair, slim, with a black flowing gown & a about an inch-heeled open slippers. I could see her nails, so neat. Her hair well packed... She is married today, but i never forget that first look!

While the first look is important, what happend after it becomes the HANDWRITING OF HISTORY & thus becomes MORE important. While blotting out unrealistic wants in a real life situation, its is best to keep a wide range of wants in your man! Like 'color or tribe', in a real man its inconsequential!

Everyone feels lonely once in a while (whether you have a companion or not) but its what you really do in those moments that matter. Why not see a movie, or take a walk, better still visit a friend... Loneliness is a ticking time-bomb.

Finally, i tell people that there is no two likely relationship or outcome in life and since human behaviours have not been accurately calculated there will never be any. So my beauriful DAMSELS: there is only one GOLDEN rule in acquiring the your man- LISTEN TO YOUR HEART but FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS!

Good night!

@chichi, sorry to say that u weren't really objective or will I say specific. Tall could mean diff things to diff ppl. Now when u say taller than u, is it 5ft7, 5ft8, 6ft, etc or what? That's by the way.

Now, again ur taste is kind of too high, and if this is how and what all our ladies have as their dream man, then so many guys and ladies will definitely end up in unhappy relationship and marriage.

The probability of finding him is 0.0005, very slim. You have to be more realistic pls.

He should be a member of your church As in if u are an Anglican church member, he must be Anglican too And must also come from your state And must not be fair Oh Chichi, that's way too much dnt u think so

Be open, start now to make adjustments ok? Fair guys aren't bad, and neither are dark skinned guys bad too, but be more open.

Now, you need to be attending your tribe's ppls weddings and ceremonies, make yourself more visible, lying down on d bed can't get u that guy. And it mustnt come from the internet cos most ladies nowadays seem to have this conviction that he must be on the internet, come on, he mustnt be online, so dnt ignore those around u too.

Will be back....more to come...we are going into practical class here and practical questions are welcome but pls no insults or use of demeaning words pls.

youngalex: Chi-Chi u have to relax abit and be more realistic...If a guy on scale of 10 scores 6 guess he is above average
...for me i prefer a lady who is
..articulate and very understanding
...Plumpy,Sexy and Romantic
...Preferably a working class
...Jovial and homely
...Prayerful and Principled
...South-Easterner
...Christian preferably catholic
If i were to be more realistic i will take 3 points here and leave the rest
-Plumpy,Sexy and Romanitc
-Christian/Principled
-Jovial and Homely
These 3 qualites

Good one bro. Would love those qualities and also a touch of craziness in my woman some day.With that i can get me a rush of blood into my head.

chichi254: tnx bright. I agree wit u dt love is meant 2 be nurtured 4 it 2 grow but what if there is no seed/plant of love at all, wat then is 2 be nurtured?

I am very sorry if I'll offend you with this my question but I couldn't help not asking you... Are u in any "arranged" relationship?.. (your dad/mum gave you to someone to marry without your consent).. How can u be in any kind of relationship without a "positive" feeling for him?..

@chichi... Must he attend the same church with you?... What is it that girls see in this same church of a thing that I haven't seen sef?, or is it like the proverbial saying that what an elder sees while sitting down a youth couldn't see even if he climbs a tall tree?... Isn't it the same GOD we are serving?, don't we all believe in the same JESUS CHRIST?. Or are u a Jehovah's Witness?... I have said it before and I will keep saying it... I detest fanatism... I'll rather remain single than to marry a fanatic..

nbright: @chichi... Must he attend the same church with you?... What is it that girls see in this same church of a thing that I haven't seen sef?, or is it like the proverbial saying that what an elder sees while sitting down a youth couldn't see even if he climbs a tall tree?... Isn't it the same GOD we are serving?, don't we all believe in the same JESUS CHRIST?. Or are u a Jehovah's Witness?... I have said it before and I will keep saying it... I detest fanatism... I'll rather remain single than to marry a fanatic..

of course fanatism is detestabl. U know, most times, what makes an action right/wrong is d motive. Inasmuch as i said that i would love 2 marry som1 4rm my church, i don't mean that other churches are bad. U will agree wit me that d mode of worship/prayer in all churches isnt d same. For instance, sabbath and Catholic, Adventist/Cele and Anglican etc.
A religous fanatic believs that its only his religion/ church that does d right thin. In other words, they are extremists. They dont even make friends outside their chrch/religion.
In my own case, its all abt wher i believ that i can stay and serve God wit fufilment. Not that i'm condemin other churches(being fanatical).